Even In Death
by drotuno
Summary: A month after losing his wife, Edward Masen was taking it one day at a time, trying to simply survive the torrent of grief. Surrounded by memories of their life together and messages she left, he was already questioning his sanity when his phone lit up in the middle of the night... with her picture and number. EPOV/OOC/AU
1. Give Me A Reason

**A/N… PLEASE READ… Just give me a minute of your time up here, and I promise not to leave super long notes for the rest of the fic, except to answer questions, and those will be at the bottom…**

 **This story will test your faith in me, my rules, and probably your opinion of my sanity. ;) This plot came about with a FB post – "Using only two sentences, write a scary story." Now, this was my answer:** _ **In the middle of the night, his phone lit up with her picture and number. She'd died a month ago.**_

 **What came next was a series of conversations between Jenny, SueBee, and Bethany Tullos, which hashed out all the ways I could fuck this up. ;) Not to mention all the directions this could go. It didn't go into a scary avenue, either, just so you know, more mystery than anything else. Honestly, I didn't think I could write this, and I really didn't think I could carry across the vision I had of it, but I gave it a shot. The result is the following summary:**

 _ **SUMMARY: A month after losing his wife, Edward Masen was taking it one day at a time, trying to simply survive the torrent of grief. Surrounded by memories of their life together and messages she left, he was already questioning his sanity when his phone lit up in the middle of the night... with her picture and number. EPOV/OOC/AU**_

 **Originally, this was going up on Halloween, but then life happened, and I wasn't where I wanted to be plot-wise before posting this, because this was being written here and there, on the side of everything else. I will tell you that this will update once a week, on a different day as** _ **Six**_ **, which is currently taking a week break – also due to life happenings. Muses are fickle and a bit twitchy sometimes.**

 **I'll let you get to it. For those that want to wait, I understand. For those that are going in on blind faith in me, my rules, and general sparkly hope? I love ya. ;) This is all Edward's POV. And I'll let you meet him.**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 1 – Give Me a Reason**

 _Give me a reason to believe that you're gone  
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong  
Moonlight on the soft brown earth  
It leads me to where you lay  
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home_

" _Even In Death" by Evanescence_

 **EDWARD**

Music pounded out of earbuds into my ears at the same rhythm as my feet touched the sidewalk. Muscles burned, lungs ached, and my heart hurt. Though, the latter had nothing to do with the five mile run I was pushing at the moment.

Focusing on each step, I tried to get my mind back to the present, not the past. I had to keep going, pushing, reaching…for _her_. I couldn't lie down and curl up into a ball. I couldn't waste away, and I couldn't stop living, because she never would've wanted that. That last thought had me gritting my teeth and pumping my legs harder. Try as I might, I couldn't run away from it, and I couldn't escape the fact that my time off was over.

The sun was just about completely up as I rounded the last corner. The mere sight of the house was just another stab to the chest. Despite its new white paint and blue shutters, that house was now haunted. Or maybe I was the haunted one.

Taking the porch steps two at a time, I sighed down at yellow-green eyes. "Morning, Steve," I mumbled, trying to catch my breath. Shaking my head, I reached down to scratch the top of the ginger-tabby cat's head. He darted inside the house as soon as I opened the door. "She's not here, buddy."

He stopped to face me with an almost accusatory glare, but then he took off to search the house anyway.

"Trust me," I muttered, squeezing my eyes closed as I slammed the front door. "I wish she were."

We'd had this argument every damn morning for going on almost a month. Orange tail high, he wandered around the house, because Steve adored my wife, and he simply couldn't accept the fact that she was gone.

He wasn't the only one.

It was one thing studying the five stages of grief in medical school; it was another experiencing them for myself. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – I was pretty sure they didn't go in order, and I was damned certain I experienced them all on a daily basis. And sometimes, all at once.

Anger was my favorite. Anger _plus_ denial made things easier. Anger gave me strength to get out of the bed we'd shared, to feed Steve when he'd rather it be her, and to face the fact that I had a residency I had to get back to at Harbor Medical Center.

I'd taken leave for a month – at first it was to move into the house, and then it was for Bella.

The thought of her name had my eyes burning as I reached for a bottle of water in the fridge. Shaking my head, I chugged the whole thing, leaning on the kitchen counter as Steve made his rounds all over the house. When he was convinced she wasn't hiding, he hopped up onto the counter to head-butt my chin.

"Tried to tell ya," I whispered, meeting those yellow-green eyes again as he looked at me like it was my fault. Snorting, I nodded. "It _was_ my fault, Steve. I never should've let her go alone. Okay? I get it."

I gave him a scoop of food and then left the kitchen for the stairs. I stepped around unpacked boxes and walked by unfinished rooms to get to the master bedroom. It was all I could do to breathe every time I stepped into that room. If another room had been finished, I'd have slept there, but as it was, I was too tired, too attached to this room – the books she was reading on her nightstand, the pillows that smelled like her hair despite the clean cases, and the memories that filled that space. It was the one of the few rooms Bella had almost finished unpacking. It was the one room that held the thickest, rawest, most amazing memories, because in that room, I'd loved my wife with every inch of my heart, body, and soul.

However, my eyes narrowed. Something seemed different, changed, but I couldn't pinpoint exactly what. Scanning the room, I noted pictures in frames – our wedding, dates, silly parties at UW. I took in my side of the dresser, my nightstand, and even her stuff, and I couldn't quite tell what had changed, if anything. However, my cell phone lit up, and I saw I'd missed a few calls and voice mails. Putting them on speaker, I listened as I gathered up my things to take a shower.

" _Dr. Masen, it's Roxanne. Dr. Phillips wanted me to let you know that you need to meet with the new chief of staff today when you come in. He's been meeting with all the residents, so he wants to see you your first day back…"_ She trailed off a bit, but I could hear her sigh deeply. _"And Edward, please let us know if there's anything you need."_

The next message wasn't surprising.

" _Hey, son,"_ Charlie mumbled into the phone. _"Just checking in on ya, kid. First day back at work and all… Anyway, I need to know what you want to do with Bella's car, Edward. They've released it, and I had that tire fixed…"_

His voice broke, because I may have lost my wife, but he'd lost his little girl, and I honestly didn't know which was worse. And it was all over a fucking flat tire right around the corner from his house.

" _Just…call me when you can. Let me know what you want to do. And good luck back at the hospital today."_

The phone bleeped, signaling another message, but no one spoke, so I walked over to my phone and deleted them all before heading into the bathroom. I'd call Charlie back later because I honestly didn't have an answer for him. I needed to brace myself for work, to put on a façade that I was fine, that I would be okay. However, I was not fine, and I honestly felt like nothing would ever be "okay" again.

 **~ooo~EID~ooo~**

Stepping back into the hospital was just as daunting as I'd expected. Not only was it just as full of memories of Bella as our house, but everyone I worked with lookedat me with sadness and worry and pity. It didn't matter that I'd just started at Harbor as a resident. My wife had been extraordinarily proud of me, of my hard work, and she'd visited often, which meant everyone had already gotten to know her, and they all loved her.

Hell, loving Bella came easy. I'd pretty much fallen head over heels in love with that beautiful girl the second my eyes fell on her at the campus library at UW. Shy, sweet, smart Bella, but with an underlying strength and loyalty and sensuality that rendered me speechless that first day.

I could feel everyone's gaze on me as I made my way upstairs to the chief of staff's office, some surreptitiously and some blatant in their study of me. I wasn't sure what they expected me to do, perhaps break down into tears or rage against the unfairness of it all. I'd already done that…every damn day since I'd gotten the call from Charlie. I'd already lost it this morning when the alarm broke me out of dreams of her, dreams that were never the same. Sometimes those dreams were memories – a reliving of our past, of dates and kisses and declarations of love. Sometimes, though, the dreams were harsh, an in-my-face reminder that she'd been taken away from me. Dreams were occasionally cruel, with Bella leaving me, or she haunted me in some sort of a nightmarish gruesome entity where she was covered in dirt and blood.

I shook my head as I walked into Roxanne's reception area, trying to clear my head of the nightmares. Sadly, I'd take any form of Dream Bella I could get. Good, bad, scary – it simply didn't matter. I missed her too much for it to matter.

"Dr. Masen," Roxanne whispered, getting up from her desk. She was an older woman, with hazel eyes and a kind voice. She hugged me like a mother would, practically cradling me, which made me smile down at her for her kindness. She pulled back, cupping my face. "I won't ask how you're doing. I can see it." She dragged a thumb gently beneath my eye. "And I won't spew that BS about how it gets better with time, either. It's hard. And it's every damn day; you just learn to live with it. She was a beautiful girl, Edward, and I know you're hurting. Just know you don't have to hurt alone. You can come talk to me any time."

Roxanne's honesty made me smile the first true smile in days. Nodding, I hugged her again and thanked her. Bella and I had lived in the same apartment building as Roxy before we'd bought the house. She'd always been kind to us, even more so since I'd started at HMC. She'd been the assistant to the chief of staff who brought me in for my residency. Dr. Rollins had retired, and instead of promoting within, they'd brought someone from another hospital, which had caused a stir while I was out on leave.

"How is he?" I asked her in a whisper.

"Handsome!" she gushed like a girl, blushing a little. "He's younger than I'd expected. But he's kind and soft-spoken. He came highly recommended, and I'm starting to see why. He's very good with people, very good at catching things other doctors miss. He likes to fill in down in the ER."

My eyebrows shot up at that, but I nodded in acceptance. "Fair enough, Roxy. Is he in?"

"Yeah, and expecting you. Go on in, sweetheart. And come see me for lunch; I'll take my break with you."

"Yes, ma'am."

I gave the office door a light knock and heard someone call for me to come on in. The man behind the desk looked up, and my first instinct was fear or trepidation, but I smiled anyway. His return smile was soft and small and kind as he stood up. He was younger, with blond hair and golden-hazel eyes.

"Dr. Masen, it's good to finally meet you. I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

"Nice to meet you, sir. Call me Edward," I told him as I took a seat in front of his desk.

He smiled gently, opening a folder in front of him. "I'm sure I've caused a bit of a stir around here, but I assure you, I wasn't aware of starting any trouble when I accepted this position."

Chuckling softly, I nodded. "Well, I wasn't around for the explosion, so…you're safe with me."

A wry smirk crossed his features, but he nodded. "You're currently working pediatrics. Is that your focus?"

"Yeah, definitely, but I don't mind emergency either, so…" I shrugged a shoulder. The fire I'd had for work wasn't back yet, and I briefly wondered if I'd ever feel the same about anything ever again.

Dr. Cullen closed my file, leaning on the top of his desk. "Tell me about yourself, Edward… Tell me what's not in your file."

Snorting a little, I nodded. "I was born in Chicago. My parents died when I was in middle school – a car accident.I was raised by my grandmother, who passed away last year. I play the piano for my own entertainment, and I run just about every morning. I attended the University of Washington, where…" I let out a deep breath, glancing down at my hands where my wedding band gleamed in the fluorescent lighting. I gave it a slow twist around my finger. "I met… I met my wife there. We married a little over a year ago, but…" Swallowing back the lump in my throat. "My Bella was taken from me almost a month ago. That's why I was on leave."

"I'm so very sorry for your loss, Edward." He frowned, his eyes warm. "May I ask what happened?"

Squeezing my eyes closed, I nodded as I took a minute to get the words together. My fingers were still toying with my wedding band, which I refused to take off. "She's from a small town…Forks. It's about a three-hour drive from here. We… We'd taken a week off to move. It was the perfect time, after med school and just before I got too busy here. We'd just bought our first house, and…" Squeezing my eyes closed, I fought the tears. "She… Sh-She wanted to go visit her dad, who's the chief of police there. He'd been working hard on a few issues in town, and since we'd both taken time off to move, she drove down to spend the day with him." Sniffing, I glanced up to see Dr. Cullen listening intently. "She had a flat tire not far from him when she started back home, and she called him to come help her. She called me, too, but he was closer. Sometime between her calls and Charlie arriving to her car, she…she…"

My hands balled up into fists in my lap, and I heard Dr. Cullen murmur, "Take your time, son."

"Charlie said that there had been a few animal attacks in the area – bears or wolves or something. Forks is set in the woods. When he got there, her…there was… Blood was everywhere, along with ripped-up pieces of her clothes, and the lights of the car were still on. The keys were still in the ignition. Her purse was still in the passenger seat. She was gone, along with her phone, but…she always tucked that into her back pocket. He called me, and I'm pretty sure I broke some sort of speeding record to get there, but no searches turned anything up. She… There were a lot of torn-up spots on the ground in different places, so…we're sure she wouldn't have made it. I…"

I trailed off a bit, the anger returning sharp and heavy. I glared at my wedding band, speaking through gritted teeth. "I can't even bury my wife…or…or have her cremated. There's just…fucking _nothing_."

Wincing, I realized I'd just cursed in front of my superior, so immediately, I glanced up. "Sorry, sir."

"No need to apologize, son," he said through a deep sigh, sitting back in his chair a little. "Edward, are you talking to anyone about this?"

I shook my head no. "No, sir. I just came back today."

"You're…what? Twenty-five? Twenty-six? That's young to be married these days, isn't it?"

"Twenty-four, actually. I doubled up on classes and took summer courses to get ahead." I couldn't help but smile and nod a little when his eyebrows raised up a bit, but I fiddled with my wedding ring again. "Yeah, but Bella… She was _it_ for me. You don't understand just how…perfect we were together."

"Tell me about her."

I glanced up, thinking that was a cruel request, but my gaze met only warm, innocent curiosity. There was something else in that gaze, too, but I couldn't quite place it. But talking about my Bella was a double-edged sword. Remembering her was comforting, but it was harsh that all I had were the amazing memories and what-might-have-beens.

"Bella was…beautiful," I started softly, smiling at that, because she never believed just how gorgeous I thought she was. "She was sweet and selfless and strong. And oh my God, she was smart." I huffed a small laugh, glancing back at him. "She was a bookworm, which made her job at the campus library perfect for her, and later, she worked for a branch of the Seattle Public Library. When I met her I was…shy, introverted. I'd lost my parents just before high school, and living with my grandmother made me different than the kids at school, so I stayed to myself. Going to UW was a shock and scary. My grandmother wasn't really healthy enough to be raising a teen boy, so I took care of her, which meant I didn't date or party. Girls were…not exactly unimportant, but I was so focused on getting into college and medical school, not to mention my grandmother was a bit strict, that I just…"

I trailed off, wrinkling my nose a bit at how awkward that made me sound. I'd known a few girls through school, but I simply was too shy and too damn busy to do anything about it.

"Anyway, the second I set eyes on this…this…petite brunette, with eyes like melted chocolate and a smile that lit up her whole face…" I chuckled and shook my head slowly. "She scared me to death because everything hit me all at once. I…I wanted to protect her from the male students eyeing her like something to eat. I wanted to make her smile as much as possible because it made her look like an angel. And all the things I never had time for prior to that moment, I suddenly wanted to make time for – dates, calls, talking, flirting. All at once." I grinned when Dr. Cullen laughed quietly. "All of it. And I did, because she made me feel like I was the only guy in the room. She had no time or patience for anyone else."

I sighed, sitting up a little. "Anyway, we started dating, and then we became more. Eventually, we moved in together, but I knew after our first date that I'd never feel for anyone the way I felt for her. I asked her to marry me the summer before our senior year. We got married just before I was finished with medical school. Six years…she was everything to me." Frowning down at my wedding band, I gave it a twist around my finger. "It wasn't perfect all the time, but we worked stuff out. She wanted to work, but she didn't have to. I was so very busy all the time – studying, long days, and then just starting my residency here. But when we made time…" I shook my head slowly, smiling sadly. "We were perfect again."

I went quiet for a moment. "Now…I feel lost without her. It hurts to breathe. I feel like there's a part of me missing – a hole in my chest – that nothing will ever be _okay_ again. And I know that's a part of grieving, but I'm not sure I can ever get to a point to let her go. I look for her everywhere – the house, on my drive to work, on my runs in the morning, in my dreams. Hell, even our cat still looks for her."

"It'll get better, son."

I hummed noncommittally. "It doesn't feel that way, but I know I'm supposed to keep going. I know she'd be mad if I gave up, so… Here I am."

Dr. Cullen smiled sadly, and he let out a deep sigh as he glanced out the window of his office. "Edward, I think you should talk to someone, and if you don't want to do that, at least come see me anytime. Okay?"

"Yes, sir. I'll think about it," I told him, standing when he did.

"I'll let you get back to the ER."

We shook hands, and I left his office, waving at Roxy on my way out. I started to note all the things I still needed to do. The task list was daunting – the hardest one concerning Bella's car – but I'd figure it out and call Charlie when I got home.

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… Again, you either have faith or you don't, and that's okay. My rules still hold fast, but one was a little bendy… ;) Not to mention…clues, clues everywhere. Just sayin'.**

 **I need to thank all the poor pre-readers and Jenny for this one, because I think I hit them out of left field with this plot – Pamela Stephenson, Bethany Tullos (who made a lovely banner), inkedupmom, Suebee, Maplestyle, and Smusic. However, Maplestyle made me LOL with "I just want to cuddle this Edward and feed him cookies." I hear ya on that one. I think, however, the general consensus from them all was, "OMG, your readers will KILL you!" Yeah, probably.**

 **Okay, so this will update either Mondays or Tuesdays, and** _ **Six**_ **is still a go for Sundays, but just a bit behind. There is going to be a playlist on YouTube, and watch for teasers on Twitter and FB. :) Until next week… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	2. Make This Go Away

**A/N… Okay, so some of you opted out, and some are choosing to wait until more chapters are up. As for the rest of you… Thank you for your trust. This will be a bit of a bumpy ride. I try to answer a few questions at the bottom…**

 **I'll let you join Edward again…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 2 – Make This Go Away**

 _Look at me, my depth perception must be off again  
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did  
It has not healed with time  
It just shot down my spine  
You look so beautiful tonight  
Remind me how you laid us down  
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life  
Would you find it in your heart  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces_

" _Rest In Pieces" by Saliva_

 **EDWARD**

 _I stepped up to the counter of the UW library, my eyes raking over the form who had yet to look my way. She was busy, but she was beautiful. Long, dark hair pulled up into a high ponytail, petite but curved in all the right places, and skin that resembled creamy, smooth silk. But it was the eyes that just about caused my knees to buckle out from underneath me._

 _Warm, brown, and sweet – like melted chocolate. It felt like she was looking straight into my soul._

" _Checking out?" she asked, smirking when all I could do is nod and push my stack of books toward her on the counter. "Okay, I'll need your ID…"_

 _I pulled out my wallet with shaky hands, trying to ignore the impatient people behind me._

" _C'mon, beautiful, I'm gonna be late for class…" The kid behind me trailed off when those dark eyes landed on him with a withering glare._

" _Then you should've come up here sooner. Now, you'll wait."_

 _She turned back to my ID, smiling my way as she scanned the barcode. "Edward Masen," she read, giving me a quick glance._

" _Yes."_

" _Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Bella Swan," she said, and she picked up my books with my ID on top to hand back to me. "See you 'round?"_

" _Yeah, definitely."_

" _Good."_

 _I turned from the counter, walking back to the table where I'd been working and giving Bella one more glance. She was ignoring the advances of the guy who'd been in line behind me, shaking her head no at whatever he was asking her._

 _~oOo~_

 _The drive back to the dorms was quiet, but dinner had been anything but silent. I'd talked more with Bella than all the girls I'd known my whole life. And not one time had I felt awkward or out of place. Until now…_

 _I wanted to kiss her. I wanted more than the flirting we'd done in the library and the amazing date we'd just been on. I wanted her to be mine. We'd become friends and study partners after the first meeting in the library a few months ago. I wasn't the only guy trying to get her attention, but I was the only one she interacted with, and I was certain I was the only one with her phone number._

 _I parked the car, turning to Bella when she smiled my way._

" _You don't have to walk me up there."_

" _Yes, I do. I want to make sure you're safely inside, Bella. Statistically, college is—"_

" _Hush, Edward," she said through a sweet laugh. "My dad's a cop, you know. Think he didn't tell me all the statistics before I came to UW?"_

 _Grinning, I nodded and got out of the car. I walked around to her side, holding the door for her. "Then he'd tell you that walking alone back to the dorms is dangerous. No matter what time it is."_

 _She studied my face, tilting that gorgeous head of hers up at me. "And you should tell your grandmother she taught you fine manners, Mr. Masen."_

" _She'll be glad to know that." I chuckled, shaking my head and giving her dorm a quick glance as I leaned back against my car. "Bella, I… I had a really good time tonight."_

" _Me, too."_

" _I want to do it again."_

" _Me, too."_

" _And…I really want to kiss you."_

 _She giggled, biting her bottom lip briefly. "Huh…me, too. So what do we do about that?" she asked softly as she stepped closer._

 _Reaching up, I brushed a lock of hair away from her face to tuck it behind her ear. Trailing my fingers down her cheek and along her neck, I leaned in closer. She smelled so very good, like flowers and fruit and a touch of popcorn from the movie we'd gone to see. Despite my desire to kiss her, my experience was so limited, it was practically nonexistent, but when her soft lips met mine, everything seemed to click into place. I pulled back a little, gazing into her eyes, and then leaned back in for more. Top lip, bottom lip, and then Bella turned her head just right, and we were lost to each other. Tongues tasted, swirling together, and teeth scraped lightly over lips. My hand slipped deep into those dark locks, pulling her closer and cradling her head. Bella gripped my shirt and my jeans at the waist, and by the time we came up for air, I was losing control of every part of my body._

 _Bella's eyes were even darker when she gazed up at me. "Edward…" she breathed softly._

 _Nodding, I pressed my forehead to hers. "Yeah." I pulled back and gave our surroundings another glance. "Let me walk you to the door, Bella."_

 _Her lips met mine briefly, and she nodded as she slipped her hand into mine. "Okay."_

 _Once we were at the dorm's entrance, I turned back to her, leaning in for one last kiss. "So," I whispered against her mouth, "I'll see you 'round?"_

 _Her laugh was beautiful as I repeated the same thing she'd said to me the day we'd met. "Yeah, Edward. Definitely."_

 _~oOo~_

" _I'll see you 'round, baby…"_

Those words and the sad sound of her voice snapped me out of sleep like I'd been slapped. I sat straight up in bed, trying to catch my breath and stop the flow of tears, but the pain was too much. The emptiness that Bella had left behind was massive and all-consuming. My chest and heart ached with it all.

Steve came bounding into the room, tail high. He looked at me curiously as he hopped up on the bed. His head bumped against my jaw. " _Hmm?_ " he purred against my hand.

"Jesus, I can still smell her here, Steve," I sighed into his fur, and he sat down in front of me. Running my hand over his head and down his back, I gazed over at the framed picture on Bella's nightstand. It had been taken around the time we'd gone on our first date. The picture radiated hope and love and silly smiles. It was windblown hair and stubble on my face. "I just want her back," I whispered to the cat Bella had adopted just about the time we'd moved in together.

" _Hmmph,_ " he purred again, this time against my cheek, but he turned tail and left the room, most likely wanting to be fed.

I rubbed my face with both hands, trying to shake the dreams out of my brain. As good as the memories were, it hurt when they were gone the second my eyes opened. Although, as I pulled on jeans, I had to be grateful that once again last night was memories and not nightmares.

I was off from the hospital for the day, and I was expecting Charlie later. The idea of unpacking this house without my wife's input was daunting, but I knew I needed to at least start on it, on _something_. There was still the living room and den left to do, so I trudged downstairs to make coffee, feed Steve, and get to work.

Starting in the living room, I unpacked DVDs and more framed pictures, leaving the books for another day. Hooking up all the components to the TV didn't take long. We'd had cable service installed the week we'd moved in, but we hadn't even had a chance to turn it on. Stacking up the slowly emptying boxes, I brought them out to the garage for the recycle bin.

I entered the den – or really, what Bella had jokingly dubbed the music room – and shook my head at the large ghost standing in the middle of the space. There were very few things I'd taken from my parents' home after they'd died, but the cherry wood baby grand piano was one of them. And I was happy that Grandmother had let me continue lessons well into my high school years. When Bella and I moved in together, my grandmother wasn't happy, but when I proposed, giving Bella my mother's ring, my grandmother shipped my piano from Chicago to Seattle as an early wedding gift. The first time I'd played for Bella, my girl had cried happy tears, telling me I was very talented.

A lump formed in my throat with that memory as I reached for the cover. I tugged it off slowly, revealing rich, dark wood. My brow furrowed at the open lid to the keyboard. I didn't remember leaving it open when the movers picked it up. In fact, I was damned sure I'd secured it closed before they'd put it on the truck. I also knew that I hadn't touched the piano since they'd set it in this room. There had been no time, with the little unpacking we'd done and with Bella's accident, then the search, and finally the memorial service.

However, sometime before any of that, my wife had taken the time to leave me a note on the music stand.

 _My beautiful Edward… Don't you ever get too busy to play. Always play. For me. Love, Bella_

Seeing her handwriting, hearing her voice in my mind, and seeing such a blatant reminder that she was gone caused a sob to tear through my chest and throat. I sat down hard onto the piano bench, crying for the loss of that beautiful spirit, the amazingly loving woman that had ruined me for anyone else on this earth. My mind understood that was quite possibly the last note she'd left me. My heart, on the other hand, wanted to believe the angel that was my wife was trying her best to comfort me. Both of those concepts were irreconcilable. They clashed together, refusing to let me breathe. Reaching for the note, I crumbled it in my hand, bringing it up to my nose. Unbelievably, the paper was saturated with the scent of fruit and flowers, just like everything else my girl had ever touched – bedding, clothes, my old T-shirts.

Keeping the wadded note in one hand, I reached for the closest thing with the other. CDs by the handful met their demise against the far wall. Plastic cases and shiny discs exploded against the wall in raging heartbreak. I threw them as fast as I could grasp them out of the box. I hurled them hard enough to dent the drywall, chip the paint, and even lodge bits of plastic into the wall. I threw them until strong arms wrapped around me.

"Jesus, son… Sit down," I heard Charlie's voice at the edge of my rage. "What happened?!"

I held out my shaking fist as he sat me harshly back down onto the piano bench. Warm dark eyes met mine as he pried my fingers apart to retrieve the note Bella had left for me. Sad tears welled up in those eyes as he read the words that probably meant more to me than he'd ever understand. He merely nodded solemnly, pressing the wrinkled note back into my hand.

"Sorry, kid," he whispered through a heavy sigh.

It was then that I'd noticed he wasn't alone. Glancing up at the large tanned-skinned man silently and reverently picking up the shattered CDs, I saw Bella's childhood friend, Jacob. He looked older, more mature than the last time I'd seen him. In fact, he looked weighted down with stress and worry.

"Damn, Edward. You okay?" he asked as he set a stack of the CDs on the closest shelf. He walked to me, and I stood up to shake his hand, pulling him into a one-arm hug.

I let out a deep breath and rubbed my face hard. I held out the note. "This…I wasn't expecting her to leave a note. It's like… I don't know…like she's haunting me. Just when I think I can take a step forward, stuff like this happens." I smirked at my own behavior, shaking my head a little.

Jacob read the note, his eyes narrowing a bit at the wrinkled paper and his body shivered, but he smoothed his expression when he met my gaze and handed it back. "She leave notes for you a lot?"

Snorting, I nodded and rolled my eyes. "All the time – my lunch, texts, textbooks, class notes, the bathroom mirror…" I chuckled at the last one, but that was just my silly Bella.

"Sorry to bust in on you, Edward," Charlie said, wrinkling his nose. "We heard you yelling when we pulled in, and… I wasn't sure… I'm a cop, kid. I'll always be a cop."

Grinning, I gripped his shoulder. "It's fine. So I guess you brought her car…"

I walked to the window that faced the driveway, my forehead thumping to the glass at the sight of her little silver car parked behind mine. I sighed deeply, fogging up the glass for a moment. Right behind it was Charlie's cruiser from the Forks Police Department. For a split second, I wished that car could talk, tell me what the hell had really happened that night on the side of the road. My only wish, my only thought was that I hoped to all of heaven above that my girl didn't suffer. I could take just about anything but that.

"Her stuff is in the trunk," Jacob said softly, handing over her keys. "We… Charlie and I cleaned the car up, fixed the tire, and…well, you can do what you want with it, Edward, but…it's up to you. Maybe you should sell it?"

My gazed snapped angrily to him, but he meant no harm. "I dunno. Maybe," I finally conceded with a shrug of one shoulder as I turned back to the little car I'd bought her. I fought my smile at the memory, because poor Bella had been devastated when the old truck her father had given her finally quit running altogether, even with Jacob's constant maintenance on it. It had taken some seriously big puppy eyes and pleading to get Bella to give in and let me spoil her, but she loved the little Volvo I'd bought her.

"Thank you…for bringing it, I mean," I told them, turning to face the two men, who were missing Bella just as much as I was, even Jacob, who was engaged to a really sweet girl on the reservation in La Push. He loved Bella like family.

Charlie gazed around the room, roaming out into the rest of the house. "Kid…you want some help? I mean, I'm no decorator, but I can at least help put stuff away, get you out of boxes."

Jake nodded in agreement.

Huffing a tired laugh, I looked over at the stack of boxes still left. "Yeah, that would be great. I'll order us some pizza. Want a beer?"

"No, I still gotta drive back, but pizza sounds good."

 **~o~EID~o~**

Setting the last of the broken-down moving boxes and two empty pizza boxes out by the street, I turned back toward the house. Jacob and Charlie had stayed with me for several hours – at least long enough to finish the living room, kitchen, and clean up the mess I'd made in the music room.

Three men trying to set up a house was comical at best. It was being done out of necessity, not any real decorating, where Bella would've come into play. Somewhere in the house were curtains and pillows and art that needed to go on the walls, but for now, having our possessions in their place was good enough. I walked up the driveway by Bella's car.

Her keys had been in my pocket since Jake had handed them to me, so I pulled them out and popped open the trunk. A small cardboard box sat in the back amidst the normal car trunk paraphernalia – spare tire, a few tools, jumper cables. Bella had a few bags in there from the move, random stuff she didn't want to forget but weren't majorly important – some papers, shoes, a jacket left behind. I removed the box from the trunk, and set it down on the driveway before unlocking her car.

It was obvious Jake had driven it up from Forks, because the seat was much farther back from the steering wheel than Bella's shorter legs could've ever reached. I sat down in the driver's seat, inhaling deeply the scent of her car. Some of Bella's flowery smell had dissipated, leaving the scent of oil and rubber; it was the scent of an auto shop. There was also an underlying aroma of a cleaner of some sort, which merely brought reality to the forefront of my mind. There had been blood everywhere in and around this car.

One more glance around the Volvo, I noted some things hadn't been touched. Bella's tassel from graduating from UW was hanging from the rearview mirror. A picture of the two of us was tucked into the corner of the dashboard behind the steering wheel. Reaching for it, I plucked it from its spot, tucking it safely away in my wallet. I rummaged through the console and the glove compartment, but it was all the normal things – insurance and registration, tissues, and a few random pens, not to mention some spare emergency feminine products. With a sigh, I got out of the car and locked it, picking up the box to tote inside.

It had been a long damn day, and I wasn't sure I wanted to see what was in the box, but I sat down on the sofa in the living room and set the box on the coffee table. I glared at the seemingly innocent thing but pulled it to me, opening the flaps. Letting out a long breath, I peered inside. Bella's purse and sweater sat on top, with a tiny, plastic bag containing jewelry. It was that last thing that brought tears to my eyes. A necklace I'd given Bella our first Christmas together was inside, the delicate chain snapped. No wedding band or engagement ring, not the earrings I'd given her for our first wedding anniversary. Just that necklace that looked like it had been pulled forcefully from her neck. I set that aside, taking out her purse, which was the usual stuff – wallet, mail, tissues, pain reliever. All the things Bella lugged around in her purse. Still no cell phone, which I could well imagine was lost somewhere in the Forks' woods, dead and water-logged.

With a sigh, I left the stuff on the coffee table to go upstairs and shower. I had an early shift at the hospital in the morning.

Once I stepped out from the bathroom, I smiled at Steve, who had been extremely helpful investigating empty boxes all day. I could imagine such a task had been hard, because he was sprawled out on Bella's side of the bed.

As I plugged my phone in to charge overnight, I noticed I'd missed a few calls and voice mails. I played them back on speakerphone while I dressed in underwear for bed. The first one was expected. Charlie.

" _Hey, son, just letting you know we made it back home. If you need anything, just call. We're not far – both of us. We can come to you, or if you need out of the city, you are more than welcome here. There are a few games comin' up, so… If you're interested, let me know."_

I smirked and shook my head at his message. Sports, to Charlie, could heal all wounds. Or at the very least numb some of the pain. The phone beeped for the next message as I closed the bedroom door and shut off the bathroom light.

There wasn't any voice, just some sort of static or whispering, ending in what sounded like a growl. My brow furrowed as I sat next to the bed and replayed it. It was quick and almost too soft to hear, no matter how high up I put the volume.

The next message – and last – made me sit up straighter.

" _Edward, it's Carlisle. I was wondering if you could meet me in my office a bit early tomorrow. I haven't had a chance to visit pediatrics yet, and I was hoping you could introduce me to the nursing staff on the floor and show me around. Roxanne says they think most highly of you up there, so I… Well, as you can imagine, I'm still getting to know this hospital and the people."_ He laughed lightly. _"You'd be doing me a huge favor, and I'd like to see how you're holding up. Thanks."_

For a moment, I wondered if he was still meeting some resistance concerning his recent placement at HMC. And because I hadn't been around during the whole thing, I was a safe bet for him. But then there were the few times I had worked with him in the ER over the week. He was, indeed, a calm, caring doctor. He genuinely cared about staff and patients, and it seemed he had taken a liking to me, because he checked on me regularly. Or maybe my story made him feel pity for me. I wasn't sure which excuse it was, but I had no problem helping him out. He was a bit strange, but I liked him.

Resetting my alarm for just a bit earlier, I fell back on the bed, smiling over at Steve, who barely shifted when the bed moved. One long, orange paw stretched out, finally covering his eyes.

"Right, right… Turn the light out, human. Got it." I chuckled, reaching over to shut off the light.

The room went dark, except for the street light outside beaming in through the window. I closed my eyes and pulled the covers up, trying to relax after the long, strange day. Just as I was about to roll over, the sound of my phone buzzing across my nightstand had my eyes snapping open.

Once I'd grabbed the phone, my heartstopped and my hand shook so badly I almost dropped the phone to the floor. As it was, it landed on the bedside table with a thump, still continuing to vibrate. But it was who was calling that had my brow breaking out into a sweat.

My wife's happy smile, a picture I'd taken just a few months ago, lit up the screen of my phone. Her number. Her face. It didn't make sense. She was gone, and so was her phone.

Swallowing thickly, I swiped my thumb across the screen to answer.

"Who is this?" I answered angrily.

There was a sudden inhale of breath, but whoever was on the other end didn't say anything.

"How did you get this phone!?" I yelled, starting to shake with anger and heartbreak. "Answer me, dammit! Where did you find it?!"

There was that same whispering that sounded like static, and then the phone beeped that the call had been ended.

I wanted to throw my phone, but at the same time, I wanted answers. My first assumption was that some kids had found my wife's phone and were playing around. But deep down, somewhere in the depths of my soul, I wanted her back. And as crazy as it sounded, I'd take whatever I could, even though I knew it wasn't possible. My wife had died almost a month and a half ago.

As exhaustion finally overtook the anxiety and adrenaline, I knew I needed to remove her from my cell phone account, but the finality of that, of slowly erasing my wife from my life, hurt too much to think about at the moment. Finally, I sent a text to my Bella's phone number before rolling over and going to sleep.

 _Reward for the return of this phone. Name your price. The only question is where you found it._

There was no reply by the time my alarm went off the next morning.

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… Most of your questions can't be answered here…or yet, anyway. There were one or two I wanted to touch on…**

 **One person asked what** _ **Six**_ **was… That is a story by JenRar and me (Sarge'sGirls) that is currently posting. It is running a touch behind. Muses are giving everyone trouble. You can find Sarge's Girls in my profile as a fave author.**

 **Is this a short story or a full story? Full. And it will update every week, Mondays or Tuesdays – give or take.**

 **All the other questions can't really be touched on or else it'll give something away. All I can tell you is hang in there. There are clues every chapter.**

 **Until next week… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	3. The Sound of Silence

**A/N… I'm updating early (Merry Christmas ;) ) Really I have to work early tomorrow, so it's just as well you have this now.**

 **Okay, so most of you have your theories, and you're sticking to 'em. That works. And some are asking questions I can't answer. So…we're just gonna keep plugging along. ;)**

 **WARNING: There is a _graphic_ dream in this chapter. In all definitions of the word. Just FYI, okay?**

 **Back to Edward…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 3 – The Sound of Silence**

 _Hello darkness, my old friend  
I've come to talk with you again  
Because a vision softly creeping  
Left its seeds while I was sleeping  
And the vision that was planted in my brain  
Still remains within the sound of silence_

" _Sound of Silence" by Disturbed (orig. by Simon and Garfunkel)_

 **EDWARD**

"Damn, Edward," Carlisle muttered, looking up from his desk when I stepped into his office. "Son, are you even sleeping?"

I huffed a laugh that was part amusement and part mania, and I wasn't quite sure which would win out at the moment. Shaking my head, I shrugged. "It's just been…" I trailed off a little, not even knowing how to answer him.

He glanced up at the clock on the wall and then pointed to his chair. "Sit. Talk to me."

"You'll think I've gone crazy," I said through another weird laugh.

He narrowed his eyes. "Try me."

I told him about the note left on the piano and about Bella's lost phone, finally ending in the fact that someone was using it to call me. "I _know_ it's probably just kids that most likely found it, but…" I sighed deeply, wondering briefly why it felt okay to tell him these things. "When I met Bella, I could sense when she was nearby, like _feel_ it. I could tell when she wasn't around, too." I tapped the center of my chest. "I knew, no matter how hard I was studying in the library, when she'd stepped into the building. I'd look up and smile at her there." I rubbed my sternum for a moment, glaring at the top of his desk. "I…I always assumed that it would always be there. That it was just how we were, how we'd meshed so perfectly." Meeting his warm, honey eyes, I whispered, "I still feel her, Carlisle. I _know_ it sounds insane. I do. I get it. But there are moments – the notes, the calls, the scent she left behind – that I still _feel_ her."

I groaned, my elbows resting on my knees and my fingers sinking into my hair to grip it tightly. "I'm aware of grief, sir. I'm aware of the reality that I need to start removing my wife from things in my life… _legally_. The phone being one of them. I need to change my emergency contact and my mortgage and my life insurance and the cell phone account. Utility bills, her car, her closet full of clothes, and on and on and on. I know all of these things. I'm not avoiding it, but I'm not…"

"You're not ready, son. There's nothing wrong with admitting that," he finished for me, and his voice and expression were sincere. He shrugged a shoulder. "There's no…timeline for these things. I've known widowers who took _years_ to do even a fraction of some of that."

I nodded, knowing he was right. My own grandmother had kept a few of my grandfather's suits in her closet, not to mention boxes of papers and files, and he'd died before I was born. And as far as I knew, she wore her wedding rings until the day she died. Again, my own eyes dropped to the band of white gold around my ring finger. I couldn't imagine removing it. And that made me snort at myself again.

"I can't even…" I held up my left hand.

He smiled warmly. "Honestly, son, I can't imagine taking my own off, so…" He held up his own wedding band. "We've been married for ten years now. And she's everything, so I understand that."

My brow furrowed, because he was older than he looked, or he'd married really young. But I let it go. I couldn't judge anyone on what age they'd gotten married.

He asked a question I wasn't expecting. "Has the phone been reported missing?"

Nodding, I replied, "Yeah, when she…when the… When her father launched the search and investigation, the phone was a part of the missing belongings. We left it on because we… Well, we weren't sure for a bit there if she was simply lost or… But then the blood, the clawed-up ground, and the broken necklace… Not to mention there had been attacks in the area that had happened before my wife." I let out another deep breath. "We knew. You know?"

He frowned, nodding a little as he folded his hands in front of him on his desktop. "And there was no sign of a…of her?"

I shook my head. "No, just blood and ripped-up pieces of what she was wearing. Her necklace was found broken by the front tire that had blown out. There's a reservation just outside of Forks – Native Americans…Quiluete – they're excellent in the woods, and Bella's good friend and his buddies tracked the animal, but they said the trail ran cold. Something about heavy rain and dense ground cover."

A strange look came over his face, but he smiled warmly again. "I'm so sorry, Edward. You're too young to have lost so much." He reached into a drawer, pulling out a couple business cards. "One of those is my lawyer. Jay Jenks can help you settle your wife's affairs… _when you're ready_." He emphasized the last part that sentence, making sure I understood he wasn't pushing, just trying to help. "And this," he said, tapping the second card. "Son, this is my personal cell phone. You call me if you ever need to talk. I don't care the time or even if it's nothing important."

Smiling down at that, I took both cards and tucked them into my wallet. We both glanced up at the clock, and I stood. "We should go. I need to get to work. And I still need to show you around pediatrics."

He smiled and stood, pulling on his white coat. "You're doing me a big favor. Most of the staff is wary of me."

Chuckling, I nodded. "Well, I need to check in on a little girl who came into the ER a few days ago anyway. Broken collarbone and some pretty hefty contusions. She's a funny little thing – all considered. Six going on sixteen."

Carlisle laughed. "You want kids someday, Edward?"

My heart sputtered at that question, and my smile fell as we left his office toward the elevators. "I did. With Bella. Now…I'm not sure anymore. It doesn't seem a priority to me now. To have a tiny part of my wife would've been…amazing. A little girl with her dark eyes and silly smile and my hair color – that's what Bella wanted." I smiled a wavering smile but shrugged a shoulder at the same time. "Now, I can't see it happening. I'll never feel for anyone the way I felt for Bella. And to only give someone part of my heart?" I shook my head. "That's not fair either."

Carlisle's hand landed on my shoulder as we made our way inside the elevator car. "Bella was a very lucky woman, Dr. Masen."

"No, sir. I was the lucky one. For a short time, I had the world."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 _Our small dining room table was covered in notes and textbooks and wadded-up pieces of paper. My laptop was open, and my hands were cramping at how fast I was typing, because it seemed there was too much to do and never enough time. Med school classes were overwhelming, a heavy load, but I was trying to double up so that I could get through with it all sooner._

 _The smells coming from our tiny yet functional kitchen were killing me, making my stomach growl loud. But it was the resulting giggle from my noisy stomach that had me breaking my gaze from the computer screen to the beautiful girl I'd fallen in love with so effortlessly. She was holding the ginger kitten she'd recently acquired from a neighbor whose cat had had a litter. Why she'd named him Steve, I had no idea, but it fit him._

" _Take a break, Dr. Masen," she said softly, setting Steve down and coming to stand by me, and I shifted in the chair to pull her to my lap._

" _Not a doctor yet, beautiful."_

" _You will be. And you'll be amazing. I'll have to fight nurses and pretty female doctors and rich women patients for your attention," she teased, reaching up to lightly rake her fingers through my hair, most likely trying to tame it from my frustrated hands being in it. Her other hand was flat on my bare chest where my heart beat just for her._

 _I chuckled, cupping her face and pressing a kiss to her lips. Wrapping an arm around her waist, I pulled her flush to me as she straddled my lap._

" _No, Bella. You won't," I countered firmly, leaning into one of her warm hands on my face, but I brought her engagement ring – my mother's ring I'd just given her last summer – to my lips. I actually couldn't wait to marry her; the small ceremony was set for the upcoming break between Thanksgiving and Christmas. "This – right here – is where I want to be every damn day for the rest of my life. One day, we'll have our own house, not this small apartment. We'll raise a family, and I'll drive you crazy when I retire, because I'll always be under foot."_

 _Her laugh was gorgeous, her cheeks flushing pink. "Well, haven't you got it all planned, Edward?"_

 _I nodded once, rubbing the outside of her strong, bare thighs. "Yep. Sure do. Got any objections, Miss Swan?"_

 _She shook her head. "No, not one. Well…_ maybe _one. You need to eat. So…either create some space here, or come sit on the couch. You can't be brilliant if your brain shuts down from lack of food, baby."_

 _Grinning, I nodded. "Couch picnic, Bella. I'm afraid if I move any of this stuff, some sort of butterfly effect will take place and I'll lose everything I just wrote."_

 _She glanced back at the computer screen with a soft laugh. "Want me to proof it?"_

" _Please."_

" _Okay." She faced me again, placing her hands flat on either side of my face. "I love you, Edward. And just so you know… Small apartment or cardboard box, I'd still love you. I'll always love you. Nothing will ever change that."_

 _Gazing into those dark eyes, I nodded slowly. "Love you, sweetheart."_

 _We'd come so far in our relationship. We'd been shy and awkward the first year we'd dated, but I'd fallen for her just about immediately. I'd known there was no going back the first time I'd kissed her on our first date. Now, I was wading waist-deep into medical school and Bella was just about to have her second interview for a position at the Seattle Public Library. With all of that, including the small wedding we were planning, which was going to be in Bella's hometown of Forks, we were so damned busy all the time. Just having her so close and in my lap, pressing kisses to my lips, made me forget just how starving I'd been just a minute ago._

 _However, all of that had to have been written all over my face, because she laughed softly at me. "Easy, Edward. Food first. Then we'll talk about this situation you've got going on right here." She rolled her hips just enough to cause my breath to catch, because she was beautiful and sexy sitting on my lap, and my body couldn't help it._

 _I shook my head. "Let me love you first. Everything else can wait."_

 _My Bella was responsible and levelheaded most of the time. Unless I started kissing her, touching her, and then she was all emotion and lost to it all. Her body became a live wire beneath my hands, her breathing heavy and filled with the sweetest sounds._

" _Where, Edward?"_

" _Right here."_

 _She smiled into her kiss before pulling back enough to tug off over head my T-shirt she was wearing. Grinning salaciously at the fact that she was only wearing a small pair of underwear underneath my shirt, I reached out to touch, to tease, to revel in soft, smooth skin. Being so busy lately made me ravenous for her the more we kissed and touched. It didn't take much to get us to this point, but the push and pull, the lowering of zippers and the feel of her shifting enough to simply push her underwear out of the way had my head falling back to the chair._

" _Like this, baby?" she asked against my chin as she lowered herself down over me._

 _Heat and wetness. It was all I could concentrate on, but I was pretty sure I nodded or grunted some sort of answer at her, which resulted in her smile against my neck. We moved together, whispers of love and more and harder against each other's lips. Tighter and tighter we wound each other up, and eventually, I gave in, touching her where she was swollen and guaranteed to lose control. And she did. Gloriously._

 _Gripping her hips in my hands, I pulled her to me over and over, riding out her orgasm until I lost the last tentative grip of my control. I felt it everywhere – my sweaty brow, my heavy breathing, and the shaking of my fiancée's body as she tried to come down._

 _When I opened my eyes, my euphoria dissipated instantly like smoke in a heavy wind. Blood was everywhere; it was matted in her hair, covering her bare body, and caked on her hands. Bella was cold, eyes staring unseeingly up at the ceiling, but her stiff fingers were digging into my biceps almost painfully. However, her mouth was still forming words, lips moving…_

" _I'll always love you, Edward…"_

 _~oOo~_

My gasp and scream woke me up in a tangle of sheets, and I kicked and wrestled with them until I pushed myself up against the headboard. I scanned the room with wide eyes as I rubbed my upper arms that could still feel her hold, trying my best to get a grip on reality. My hands shook as I then rubbed my face, smashing the heels of my hands into my eyes and finally gripping my hair hard as I did my best to clear my mind of the nightmare.

"Damn it," I sighed, my head falling back to the wall with a dull thump. "Fuck!" I ground out through gritted teeth as I fought tears and fear and disgust.

The sound of my phone vibrating on the nightstand didn't help because I was still expecting to see her beautiful face light it up again, but I hadn't heard a thing in a few weeks. No ghostly calls, and no answer from the text I'd sent.

I glared over at it with one eye, bracing myself, but sighed deeply in relief when I saw who was calling. Swiping my thumb across the screen, I mumbled, "'Lo, Jacob."

"Edward, just making sure you're still coming down today. Damn, buddy, are you still asleep?!"

"No, I'm up," I groaned, sitting up completely and swinging my legs to the floor. "I worked like fourteen hours yesterday, Jake, so gimme a break, would ya?"

He chuckled. "Sure, sure. But Charlie's stoked you're coming, so…"

Smiling at that, I sighed again. "Okay, okay… Let me get a shower and some coffee and feed Steve. I should be there by kick-off."

"Bring the beer!"

"Yeah, yeah."

I was on the road toward Forks within an hour of hanging up with Jacob. Traveling back to Bella's hometown _and_ the last place she'd been alive was a double-edge sword. The two of us had such good memories here – years of visiting Charlie for holidays when I couldn't get back to Chicago, our wedding which had been in Charlie's backyard, and plenty of parties with Jacob on the reservation. So many good times, so many smiles, they were all there. But then the most recent tragedy somewhat overshadowed some of that goodness. The panicky drive down when Charlie called me. The hours/days/weeks of searching the woods for the one person who had kept my heart beating for eight years. The memorial service at the local church, where there had been no casket, no urn, just tears and shock and mind-numbing sadness.

I lost myself in the drive, putting on a playlist my Bella had made for long trips in the car. It was fun, upbeat stuff, songs we'd danced to at parties, songs we'd made love to, or just songs that we both liked. She'd even added things I'd played for her on the piano, and I shook my head at the sound of my own compositions she had to have recorded in secret.

Pulling into the small town of Forks always made me chuckle. The place was slow and quiet, surrounded by green woods, despite the approaching fall. I stopped at the main store to grab the beer Jacob asked me to bring and then continued on to Charlie's house.

I automatically slowed my car down at the place in the road where we'd found Bella's car. The spot was still a bit torn up from the search party, emergency vehicles, and the tow truck. I pulled off on the opposite shoulder, gazing sadly at the last place she'd been alive. Bits of caution tape still fluttered in the cool breeze on a tree a little down from where she'd been pulled over. A cross and some already fading flowers were the most recent thing left, and those were probably put there by some of Bella's high school friends. Leaves turning brown and yellow and orange fluttered a little, some falling to the ground, and it caused movement in the woods, a ripple effect it seemed. Concentrating more on the forest than the road's shoulder, I willed those trees to tell me the answers to all my questions, but all I received were more moving shadows and the feeling of being watched. Another shadow moved, and I narrowed my eyes to see better, but it had to have been just the wind.

Shaking off the sadness, I pulled back out onto the road and turned onto Charlie's street. I was determined to lose myself in sports and beer and not succumb to the listless feelings of loss I tended to carry around all the damn time.

Charlie met me at the front door, and I wanted to chuckle at the matching dark patches we shared beneath our eyes, but this morning's nightmare was too raw and too graphic to let me find any humor in it. Bella's father merely shook my hand, pulling me in for a rough hug, and finally patted the side of my face.

"You look tired, kid," was all he said, and he didn't expect an explanation, so I simply nodded and followed him inside.

Memories and grief hit me when I stepped inside that little house. Bella was everywhere – the kitchen, where she'd cook for Charlie; the living room, where there were pictures of every stage of her life and some dying flowers left over from the memorial service. It was a mixture of past and present, good and bad. And I didn't even know if I could go anywhere near her old childhood bedroom.

But Jacob broke the silence with his big smile, and he took the beer from me. "Thank God! I was thinking we'd run out before halftime. How's the hospital, Edward?"

Grinning, I took a seat in the living room, and we all started talking about the normal daily stuff – jobs, sports, politics. The topic of the beautiful wife, daughter, and friend we were all missing so much was carefully avoided. And that was okay. All three of us were just trying to get through, to enjoy football the way we used to when Bella was around.

When halftime did finally come around, Charlie stood up, saying, "I'm gettin' another. Anyone else?"

"Yes, sir," I replied, sitting back on the sofa.

"Me, too, Charlie!" Jake called from the chair.

"How's the new boss, Edward?" Charlie asked, handing Jake and then me our beers.

I huffed a laugh, shaking my head. "He's…fine. He's got nurses crushing on him in every department. He's strange but kind. He works weird hours, not the normal day shift most of the older doctors pull, which makes him accessible."

Jake's head snapped around from where he'd been zoned in on the TV, and with narrowed eyes, he asked, "What's his name?"

"Cullen. Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Why? You know him?"

"Well, ain't that some small-world shit for you," Charlie mumbled through a chuckle. "There used to be a Cullen family here in town. In fact, some of the kids went to school with Bells."

My heart sputtered at the mention of my wife, but I glanced over at him. "Blond hair, pale, like…I dunno…honey-ish colored eyes?" They both nodded, but I frowned a little. "Funny…he didn't mention that he was from Forks. I mean…I told him…"

"He and his wife are young. They aren't able to have children, so they adopted a bunch of teenagers. Saints, if you ask me. Bella was a handful as a teen, so I can't imagine having four of them running around." Charlie chuckled a little, shaking his head. "Dr. Cullen was a real asset over at the local hospital. I'd heard he'd gotten a bigger offer…" He gestured to me. "Didn't know it was your hospital." He glanced over at Jacob. "Never understood your hatred for them, Jake."

Jacob rolled his eyes like a belligerent teen. "I don't _hate them_ , Charlie. Well, not anymore, I guess." He sighed deeply, holding up his hands. "Hey, I was a dumb kid, and they were weird."

I grinned, but something about Carlisle knowing Forks, having lived here but not mentioning it when we spoke, bothered me a bit. I didn't say anything, though.

We all jumped when Charlie's phone rang loudly in the room, and he groaned aloud at the caller's name. "Renee," he grunted, getting up from his recliner.

Jake and I both watched him walk into the kitchen to speak to Bella's mother. Their relationship, which had already been strained prior to Bella's death, was even worse now. Why Renee insisted on torturing the man, I had no idea, but she was a strange woman. She was flighty and eccentric. She tended to flit from one hobby to the next without a care, but she loved Bella immensely. Since her daughter's death, she'd taken to psychics – tea leaves, crystal balls, and séances. It was the latter that sent her calling Charlie all the time, claiming that their little girl hadn't "crossed over."

I shook my head as he tolerated her latest ramblings, looking over to Jacob. He was eyeing me with a strange look on his face.

"What?"

"Nothin'." He grinned, but it wasn't his usual carefree smile. "You believe that shit she's spewing?"

"No," I answered firmly, shaking my head. "I've seen some strange stuff at the hospital. I've seen death, and trust me, there's no profound light or angelic presence when someone's heart stops beating. There's just the rattle of that last breath." I frowned a little, bringing my beer up to my lips. "I was raised to believe in a higher power – my grandmother insisted on church – but lately I don't know where I stand on the subject."

"I hear ya," he replied softly. "When my mom died when I was a kid, my dad was all I had, and he was old-school Quiluete, so he was all about the legends of our people and the land and our tribe history. It wasn't until a few years ago after he died that I actually really listened to some of it." He glanced up at me. "Did Bella ever tell you about it? She's been to a few bonfires down on the res before."

"Yeah, she mentioned it once or twice."

He sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees. His gaze was intense, though, and I didn't understand why. "Edward, what do you remember?"

I shrugged a shoulder, reaching up to rub my face and rake my fingers through my hair. "Not much, man. Just some stuff about wolves, that the tribe was descended from them or something. I remember something about being able to transform into a wolf in order to protect the tribe from some sort of threat, but Jake, it's been years since she…" I trailed off, and sadness seemed to overwhelm me.

"Yeah, those were cool, old stories when I was a kid. I used to imagine myself as this massive wolf." He grinned but shook his head. "I'm the direct descendant…of Ephraim Black."

I chuckled at his wry smirk. "Chief?"

"Nah, more like… _Alpha_."

We laughed loudly at that.

"Anyway, it wasn't until recently that some of those old legends made sense. Not everything is what you see," he sighed, wrinkling his nose a little. "And death isn't always final."

I studied his face for a moment, but he seemed to be concentrating on the TV, where the game was about to come back for the third quarter.

"Bella is _gone_ , Renee!" we heard from the kitchen. Charlie's frustration was starting to show in his voice. "I told you that her phone was lost, so it has to be some kids messin' with you."

My head snapped around to the kitchen, where I could see Charlie pacing, his face red. And suddenly, I wanted to know what she'd heard. Standing up, I silently asked for the phone. Charlie's eyebrows scrunched, but he handed the phone over.

"Hey, Renee. It's Edward."

"Oh, son! How are you holding up? Are you okay?" she asked quicker than I could blink. It was the same questions she'd asked me the day of Bella's memorial.

"I'm… I'm hangin' in there. Listen, what did you hear on these phone calls?"

"Nothing, but…it was _her number_ , Edward!"

I smiled a little sadly at that because she sounded so hopeful. "So no message or no voices? No background noises?"

"No, not a thing."

"And when was the last time you got a call?" I pushed.

"Not for a week or so. Why?"

Nodding, I sighed. "Okay, just checking. I just…you should know I'll be turning that phone off soon, so whoever is playing these games won't be able to do it much longer. Okay?" I said those words like I was soothing her, but really, the idea of removing Bella's phone on my account was splitting me wide open.

"Okay." Her voice was quiet and filled with sadness. "Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Son, Bella really loved you. You should know that."

Swallowing thickly, I fought my tears. "I know. She told me every day."

I ended the call with Bella's mother, handing Charlie his phone back. But his face stopped me cold. "What?" I asked him.

"Son… Edward, I… I didn't want to say anything to her – I wasn't exactly buying the phone calls – but you're getting them?" he asked.

I nodded, looking up at Jake when he joined us in the kitchen. "Yeah, but I think you're right. It's probably just kids playing around. I'll shut it down tomorrow."

Charlie nodded and turned back toward the living room when we heard someone score.

Jacob was watching him but whispered only to me. "What if it's not… _kids_ , Edward?" he asked, and I felt like I was being tested.

"What's with you, Jake?" I hissed.

"Nothin'!" he laughed, holding his hands up. "I'm just sayin'…" He pointed a finger at me. "Not everything is always as it seems. What if it's some sort of…of communication? Maybe Renee is on to something."

I snorted, rolling my eyes. "I'm shutting the phone down tomorrow. If it _is_ some sort of communication, like you say, then it's not Bella. My Bella would never be that damn cruel!" I snapped in a hissed whisper in order not to alert Charlie.

Jacob's nose wrinkled, but he reached out to grab my shoulder. "Edward, take it from someone who's seen some weird shit on the res… Death isn't always final."

"Don't. This shit is hard enough, Jake."

He squeezed my shoulder. "I know. I'm sorry. I wish I could explain my weird legends, but some are not for the _pale faces_ ," he said with a laugh, smacking the side of my face lightly.

I shook my head, reaching for another beer. "C'mon… Game's back on. And then I need to get back to Seattle. Early shift tomorrow."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… The only thing I can tell you is to hang in there. That's it. And for those that are on this ride, your faith in me is amazing. And I won't forget that. ;)**

 **There is a playlist starting on YouTube for this... Search Even In Death or Drotuno...**

 **Hope everyone had an amazing Christmas, or whatever you celebrated, and have a safe New Year's. Until next week… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	4. No Colors Anymore

**A/N… Ohhhh… Some of you are** _ **so damn close**_ **! ;)**

 **I answer one or two questions at the bottom, but I'll let you get to it. Back to Dr. Masen…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 4 – No Colors Anymore**

 _I see a red door and I want it painted black  
No colors any more, I want them to turn black  
I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes  
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes_

 _I see a line of cars and they're all painted black_  
 _With flowers and my love both never to come back_  
 _I see people turn their heads and quickly look away_  
 _Like a newborn baby, it just happens every day_

 _I look inside myself and see my heart is black_  
 _I see my red door I must have it painted black_  
 _Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts_  
 _It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black_

 _"Paint It Black" by The Rolling Stones_

 **EDWARD**

The bustle of the hospital cafeteria was loud, from the food line to the conversations around me. I stirred my cup of coffee slowly, gazing blindly out the window. The day was dreary, rainy, and pretty normal for Seattle. Fall was in full swing, so the rain was cold, almost biting. Droplets landed against the glass by me, rolling downward as they collected other drops along their way, and it all pooled along the window ledge.

Bella had loved rainy days. She used to tell me that it made for perfect reading. She'd say that curling up with a good book on a rainy day was just about her favorite thing. Curling up with _me_ and a good book on a rainy day, she'd told me, was the "perfectly perfect" day.

I missed her more and more as time went on. And I tended to procrastinate just about everything to do with removing her from my life. I tried to sort through clothes, only to break down and merely move them from the master bedroom closet to the spare-room closet. I called about the mortgage and thanked the insurance company for their false sympathy. However, I still hadn't called about the cell phone. I knew I needed to, but every time I'd pick up the phone and hear the automated menu, I'd hang up.

Shaking my head at my own cowardice, I focused back on my cup of coffee. Everything in my life was conflicted. Everything. In my mind, I knew I needed to push on, keep going, and say good-bye to my wife. In my heart, I missed her, and I wanted and needed to cling to everything she left behind. Bella's things at the house still sat unused, untouched – toothbrush, shampoo, razor, the lotion on her nightstand, and even the books she'd been reading. I left it all where she'd put it. I left it like it would bring her back to me.

I'd even started driving her car. At first, I reasoned that it needed to be tested since Charlie had gotten it fixed, and then it really was just the fact that I was temporarily enveloped in her on my way to and from work. I could still smell that fruity flower scent inside that car, no matter how long it had been since she'd sat behind the wheel. It didn't even matter that Jacob had driven it. She still permeated the air of that Volvo.

Then there was Steve, and I snorted softly to myself at the mention of our cat. Steve was a living, breathing, furry little reminder of Bella's love – and the closest thing to a child she'd left behind. She'd adored that cat and had spoiled him with love and attention since we took him into our old apartment. He was a product of that love, too. He was calm and easy and perceptive occasionally, especially when I woke up from dreams that left me heartbroken and scared. He'd stay with me until my heart calmed down, though he usually slept on Bella's side of the bed.

My phone buzzed, signaling a text from Jacob, who was asking if I was coming down to Forks for the next football game. I answered him yes, smiling a bit at how my Bella would've loved that I was still keeping in touch with Charlie and Jake. But honestly, all my family was gone. Aside from Roxy, who checked on me like a mother hen, I didn't have many people in my life that I saw outside of work. And I hadn't really seen Carlisle since I'd found out he knew about my wife's small hometown. He'd been out, some sort of family obligation. Despite the fact that he'd given me his private cell number, I didn't feel comfortable calling him if he was with his family.

"Edward?" I heard to my left, and I tore my gaze from the rainy day outside to see the man who'd just crossed my mind.

I smiled up at him. "Carlisle," I greeted, but I noticed he wasn't standing there alone.

Two women were with him, and one I recognized as his wife from the framed pictures in his office. They were both almost disarmingly beautiful and completely opposite from one another. Carlisle's wife had hair the color of caramel, with fair skin and a warm smile. The other one was tiny – a bit shorter than Bella if I was estimating correctly. My brow furrowed at the sight of her. Her short, raven-black hair and knowing smile made me nervous, and I couldn't figure out why. But beyond all of that – their beauty, their stillness, and their fair skin – the one thing I noticed was that all three of them had the very same color eyes. And that didn't make sense to me. I was fairly sure all of Carlisle's kids were adopted or foster children.

"Edward, I'd like you to meet my wife, Esme, and my youngest daughter, Alice." He gestured to each woman, and I stood up to shake their hands, which were cold due to the weather outside.

"It's nice to meet you both," I said softly.

"You, too, Edward," Esme replied. "Carlisle's told us so much about you. He speaks most highly of you."

Smiling at that, I nodded that I'd heard her but added a soft, "Thank you," in return. I then gestured to the table. "Please take this spot; it's filling up in here pretty quickly."

"Are you due back? Or can you join us for a moment, son?" Carlisle asked, taking the seat across from mine.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and nodded. "I have a few minutes."

"Excellent," he praised. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Hangin' in there. It's almost my weekend." I smiled at that, which made them all chuckle.

"Any plans?" he asked.

I nodded, sipping my coffee, noting that the three people around me weren't really touching the things they'd set down on the table. Esme held a cup of coffee she'd yet to drink, and the same for Carlisle. Alice, however, toyed with the straw of a soft drink cup.

"Yeah, I'll be visiting my father-in-law in Forks to watch some of the football games," I explained, sipping my coffee again. I was hoping to wake up a bit more for the rest of my shift. My sleep the night before had been wrecked with dreams – both good and bad.

"Carlisle," Alice gasped, her mouth open in shock. "You didn't tell me Edward was from Forks!"

"Umm," I started, shaking my head. "I'm…I'm not from Forks. My wife is – um…was." I frowned at that but then smiled sadly her way.

Carlisle gestured to me as a defense, which made me chuckle a bit, but Alice rolled her eyes back my way. "Who was your wife?"

"Bella. Isabella Swan." Just saying her name aloud made my heart hurt and my voice crack.

Alice's brow furrowed, her lip trembling. "I knew her," she whispered, looking up at me. "I went to school with her. I just heard about her accident, Edward. I've been away visiting family. She was a beautiful and sweet girl."

Tears stung my eyes at hearing that, and I nodded a little. "She was all of that. And then some."

Alice shook her head. "Her father was the chief of police. He must be devastated."

I nodded again, looking back to my coffee cup, which was slowly emptying. "He's strong – stronger than me, I think." But I looked to Carlisle, wanting to know a few things. "He knows you, your family. You didn't mention that you used to live there."

"My apologies, son," he stated sincerely. "We left Forks for Seattle some time ago, and my house there sits empty. Most of my children have gone off to school or to follow their own careers here in the city."

My brow furrowed as I swirled the last of my coffee in the cup. Somehow, that sounded like a bullshit answer, but I wasn't sure I cared. Though, I couldn't understand why he'd lie, because why would it matter?

Esme, however, piped up softly. "I'm actually going to check on that house soon. There's been some pretty nasty weather as of late, and I wanted to make sure the house is holding up. Maybe I'll stop by and see the chief. I'm sorry for your loss, sweetheart."

Smiling sadly her way, I nodded, draining my cup of the last bit of coffee. Standing up, I said, "I should get back. It was nice meeting you both." I smiled, even though I could tell it was halfhearted at best.

"You, too," they both said at the same time, and Alice waved.

I waved back, looking to Carlisle, "See you upstairs, sir."

 **~oOo~**

My sneakers pounded rhythmically on the wet cement, my heart thumping in my chest. I'd had a few extra beers the day before with Jake and Charlie, so I'd decided to run it out of my system this morning at the park. My goal the last day of my weekend was to unbox some of the many books of Bella's. I'd been dreading that particular task, because Bella's books had always been her pride and joy, and she'd always put them in whatever order made the best sense to her – favorite classics, favorite series, favorite new books – not in alphabetical or chronological, which always made me tease my little librarian, but she'd simply roll her eyes, kiss my lips, and tell me that she wasn't as OCD as the library.

Loud, angry music blared in my ears,helping to push me to keep my pace. Cement gave way to wet dirt and some steps. The trail was a tough run, a bit of woods and water not far from the bustling city. It was a winding trail, and now with fall in full swing, the air had a cold bite to it.

My thoughts trailed back to my day spent in Forks. It had been good to see Jacob and Charlie. A few of Jake's friends from the reservation on La Push came by – young Seth, Embry, and Quil. I didn't know the three all that well, but I hadn't seen any of them since Bella's memorial service. They'd known her a long time. The boys were so chatty and fun and gave each other all sorts of jibes left and right that it was hard not to stay laughing while they were in the room. It had made for a good day. The only thing that would've made it better was if Bella had been there to join in.

Thighs and lungs burned as I pushed myself up the last steep steps, coming out onto a tree-covered trail. This was the last leg of my run, and I slowed down to a fast-paced walk to cool down before I had to drive back home.

It was early in the morning, with patches of fog still lying low on the ground in the trees. The sound of Puget Sound met my ears from not that far away as I pulled out my earbuds. I wasn't the only one on the trail. I'd passed by a few women working out together and a family taking in the trail. There had even been a man with a dog back at the beginning when I'd stretched. The big black lab had been friendly enough, until he'd sniffed something out just inside the woods, causing growls and teeth and hair to stand on end, and the owner took him another direction.

My breathing started to even out as I slowed down a bit more. The trail ahead disappeared into a tunnel of dark trees that were slowly changing into their fall colors. The parking lot wasn't far, and I started making a mental note of the things I wanted to get done for the day.

The trail turned a bit, and I found myself surrounded by tall trees, climbing up a hill on one side with a sloping drop on my other. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, and I scanned around me, because it felt like I was being watched. I wanted to blame the fog, the Halloween season, or the fact that I wasn't normally a woodsy person. I'd been born and raised in the city, but this was the better trail for the harder run.

Shaking my head at my own musings, I glanced up when the parking lot was just visible through the next bend. As I drew closer, I could see my car, which calmed the eerie feelings I'd just experienced. I took a deep breath, trying to slow the weird heartbeat that had nothing to do with the run I'd just taken.

It wasn't until the end of the trail was in sight that I saw her. She was a splash of bright color in comparison to the brown foliage around us. Her hair was shockingly red, and I'd have bet it was a paid-for color, except the pale skin and spattering of freckles seemed to complement it perfectly, not to mention her eyelashes and eyebrows were exactly the same bright shade. However, it was her eyes and her smile that were disarming, and I found my brows rising up in a touch of surprise. She looked predatory and fierce, but something about her stillness and ethereal beauty reminded me of Carlisle's wife and daughter.

"Good _morning_ ," she sang, eyeing me up and down.

I nodded once, muttering, "Mornin'," back without much inflection. I had never been much of a flirt, until Bella. All I wanted, when I met my beautiful girl, was to see her smile, laugh, and blush, all because of something I'd said. Anyone else, though, not so much. And despite the fact that I'd been told – repeatedly by my wife – that I was good-looking, I never put much stock in the female opinion of my looks. To me, it was just the outside.

I made to walk by her, but she stepped in my way, blocking the path, and instantly, I felt threatened. I shouldn't have felt that way. I was a full-grown man, just over six feet and in decent shape, but something about this woman was frightening. I felt like a mouse trapped by a cat.

She didn't say anything, simply stared and assessed. And that was even more unnerving. I took in her appearance. She seemed to be dressed in a hodge-podge collection of clothing. She looked down on her luck, but then… _not_. Her attire was a bit like a gypsy or wanderer, something like a character in one of Bella's books.

Finally, she stepped back enough I could get by, and I heard her mutter, "No wonder she guards you… Simply _delicious_ …" She grinned, which caused my heart to sputter, and not in a good way. "She'll leave you alone soon enough."

I had no idea what she was talking about, so I stayed quiet and hurried to my car. Just as I opened the door, a thundering crash and low growl made me spin back to the trailhead, but the redhead was gone. There was no sign of her anywhere – no movement on the trail, no crunching of leaves in the woods, not even a car cranking. The strange woman had simply disappeared.

With a shake of my head, I got in my car and left the park.

 **~oOo~**

I still couldn't shake the creepy feelings, even after I'd gotten home and showered. Rubbing my head with a towel, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The woman with the red hair had unnerved me to no end. Even more, she'd simply disappeared. The sound I'd heard prior to her vanishing was strange. It wasn't unlike the dog prior to my run, but then again, it had sounded alien or a bit feline.

Rolling my eyes at my own crazy musing, I tossed the towel into the laundry basket, picked the full thing up, and toted it downstairs to wash a load or two while I worked in the music room.

Steve was sitting passively on the kitchen counter, eyeing me shrewdly as I started a load in the washer.

"I'm losin' it, Steve," I told him, rubbing his head on the way by. "I'm pretty sure of it." I looked over at him, snorting when his ears went back a bit. "It may be inevitable, buddy. Both of us are pretty lost and useless without her."

" _Hmm_ ," he seemed to muse, but he hopped down from the counter and followed me into the music room, where he made himself comfortable on the piano's closed lid as I lit a fire in the fireplace.

"Sweetheart," I muttered to the empty shelves, "I have no idea where to even start with these, so forgive me the damned order they go up…"

Blindly, I opened boxes and started at the top shelf. Bella and I had agreed that the den would end up a small escape for the two of us – a library for her and a music room for me. Sadly, this was not how I'd seen owning our first house. As I set books on the shelf, straightening them as I went, I fought tears at the reality of my situation. I was in the house I'd bought for my wife, a place I'd seen us growing in all ways – family, life, retirement. All of it. And now I was alone. I hated every second of it. It was all I could do not to start throwing her books like I'd thrown my CDs the day Charlie and Jake had brought Bella's car to me. But I didn't.

I finished a box and went to move on to the next one. When I reached for it, the box had already been open, the tape cut, and the contents made me stop and focus. These books had been shifted, riffled through. Glancing around, I frowned. I didn't remember Jake and Charlie touching these boxes when they'd been here, especially since I'd told them to leave the books. I also didn't remember cutting the tape on this one – or any of them for that matter.

When Bella had packed her books, she'd done so with spines up so that her titles could be easily seen when she opened the box. And while most of the books inside this box were on their sides, there were two thin books stacked flat atop the others. It was like I was supposed to see them, find them specifically.

One was small, old, a leather-bound collection of poems. The other was a history of the Washington legends. Both books had bookmarkers in them. I wasn't sure if it was my crazy morning or what, but I couldn't bring myself to look at them just yet. I set both books down on the top of the piano next to Steve and finished out the boxes. I looked over the shelves, shrugging one shoulder. I wasn't sure it was how Bella would've done it, but all her books were present and accounted for as far as I could see.

Once I threw out the empty, broken-down boxes, I picked up the two books and stepped back into the kitchen to grab something to eat. As I munched on a quick sandwich, I pulled the first book to me. _The Legends of Washington State_. The bookmark was a small piece of paper with my name on it, which made my brow furrow.

"Baby, when did you do this?" I whispered to the scrap paper.

My name was in dark ink, heavily scripted so that it pushed through to the other side. But the page she'd marked for me was about the Quileute people – Jacob's tribe – and I popped the last bite of sandwich into my mouth as I read a story about a tribal elder who needed to protect his people from an unusual threat. _Cold ones._ I devoured the story about how the Quileute tribe learned of their ability to transform into wolves in order to protect everyone from these cold ones. People were dying, going missing, and the cold ones were to blame. They were the only natural enemy of the Quileute. Cold ones were dangerous and deadly, a demon without care as to who they killed.

When the next chapter was on Bigfoot, I closed the book, shaking my head. I tried to remember as many things as Jacob had told me – that he was "Alpha," that he was bound by his tribe not to tell everything, and that he was the direct descendent of Ephraim Black. Flipping the book back to the marked chapter, I saw the name was the same. Shaking my head, I remembered Jake trying his best to tell me that "death isn't always final."

Sighing heavily, I pushed that book away and pulled the little black book of poems my way. This bookmark was a satin ribbon, marking a specific spot, but pressed in there was a petal of a rose. Closing my eyes to fight the tears, I picked the petal up and brought it to my nose. It was still soft, not completely having lost its pink-and-white color just yet. The fragrance brought back the scent of the church the day of Bella's memorial. I'd had pink and white roses surrounding a beautiful photograph of my wife. Frowning at that, I looked down to the poem she'd marked.

" _Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye_

 _Do not stand at my grave and weep._ _  
_ _I am not there; I do not sleep._ _  
_ _I am a thousand winds that blow._ _  
_ _I am the diamond glints on snow._ _  
_ _I am the sunlight on ripened grain._ _  
_ _I am the gentle autumn rain._ _  
_ _When you awaken in the morning's hush_ _  
_ _I am the swift uplifting rush_ _  
_ _Of quiet birds in circled flight._ _  
_ _I am the soft star that shines at night._ _  
_ _Do not stand at my grave and cry;_ _  
_ _I am not there; I did not die._

I dropped the book onto the counter, backing away from it and shaking my head slowly. Things were suddenly overwhelming and too much to think about all at once. Everything I'd heard and seen and felt since my wife's death was starting to snowball into something I couldn't straighten out into anything linear.

With a shaky hand, I brought my bottle of water up to my lips, chugging the whole thing. Dribbles dripped down my chin and onto my T-shirt, but I glared at the poem as things started to repeat in my mind.

Death isn't always final. Cold ones. Descended from wolves. Fresh rose petals. Notes. Phone calls.

" _What if it's not_ kids _, Edward?"_

My eyes narrowed at the question he'd asked, and I picked up my phone to call Jake, but there was no answer. In fact, it went straight to voice mail.

"J-Jake… Call me when you get a moment, please. Thanks," I mumbled into the phone and then hung up. Turning my phone over in my hands, I ran over everything, finally opening up a search on the browser.

I searched for the words "cold ones." Google gave me back the exact legend I'd just read about the Quileute. But it was the second thing listed that had me backing away from my phone.

 _Apotamkin or rather, The Cold One… Vampires._

"No," I said firmly to the damn thing. "Just no."

I shook my head back and forth slowly, barely glancing at Steve, who had hopped up onto the counter in front of me. He sat down, wrapping that red-and-white-striped tail around his feet. His eyes were watchful and calm as he stared me down.

"That's it, Steve. I've lost my mind. I'm so…so… _fucked up_ without her that I'm willing to believe _any_ damn bullshit!" I raged in front of him, but he barely flinched, merely an ear flickered.

We stared at each other for a few heartbeats, and finally, I reached for my phone and clicked the link. Blood drinkers, cold skin like a corpse, super strength, strange eyes, and immortal.

My eyes narrowed – _immortal_.

I spread everything out that I'd just found – the two books, the marker with my name in Bella's writing, and the rose petal. I ran my finger across my name, thinking I was a doctor, that I shouldn't even consider entertaining it, but there I was, grasping at anything that would give me answers. I pulled out my wallet and then took out the wrinkled note I'd found on my piano and set it next to the marker with my name. It was the same pen, the same heavy hand, and I tried to remember if Bella had always written so hard.

On the counter was a little organizer basket with stamps and pens and notepads. I found the last grocery list Bella had made. The handwriting was the exact same, except slightly heavier-handed in the newer notes.

My phone began to ring, vibrating across the counter. I just about jumped out of my skin, causing Steve to flinch a little. I was expecting it to be Jake returning my call, but my wife's beautiful face lit up the screen.

Everything hit me at once – the idiocy of the stuff spread out in front of me, the mere idea that I was trying to believe anything to explain that my wife wasn't gone, and the sickly quiet of the house around me. With an angry sob, I swiped my thumb across the screen.

"Whoever this is, stop calling me!" I yelled into the damn thing. "Keep the damn phone, but stop calling me! It's cruel. Don't you have anything better to do?" My nostrils flared as I tried to get a grip on myself, but the other end was silent.

The only thing I heard before the call ended was a very soft, very sad, "I'm sorry."

My breathing stopped cold when the call ended with a beep, because I'd have recognized that voice _anywhere_.

"Bella?"

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… Take a deep breath and relax… Lots of info in this one. Actually,** _ **most**_ **of the info is in this one. ;)**

 **One of question I can answer… Will this be in all Edward's point of view? Probably. I'm currently writing chapter 9, and it's all him so far. I'm not opposed to a chapter in another point of view, but it seems this is his story.**

 **For those that were chanting "Don't turn off the phone!" he didn't. LOL And I love the hashtag DeathIsn'tAlwaysFinal… ;)**

 **Okay, I hope everyone has an awesome year. 2017 better behave itself! Until next week… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	5. This Truth Drives Me

**A/N… You know what? You guys won't listen to a thing I say up here. LOL So go on… I'll see you at the bottom…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 5 – This Truth Drives Me**

 _Catch me as I fall  
Say you're here and it's all over now  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
No one's here and I fall into myself  
This truth drives me  
Into madness  
I know I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away_

" _Whisper" by Evanescence  
_

 **EDWARD**

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.

"Bella? Oh, no, no, no…" I quickly tapped redial, groaning when it went straight to voice mail.

" _Hey, you've reached the voice mail of Isabella Masen. Leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can…"_

The beep signaling the recording made me stumble over just what the hell I was supposed to say. "B-Bella? Shit, what am I doing?" I sighed deeply, squeezing my eyes closed and finally just giving into the madness I seemed to have fallen into neck-deep. "Sweetheart, if this is you, call me back. Please! I think… I'm pretty sure that… You've left me clues, baby, and I'm starting to put them together, so if I'm not losing my mind and this is really you, then please, please, _please_ call me. I just… I miss you, Bella. So much, and I love you. That'll never change, whether this is a cruel joke on me or not. So if this isn't my wife, know that I will find who has this phone and…"

The message ran out of space, and I trailed off as tears burned my eyes. I glared at my phone, willing it to ring, but as I studied the flat, expensive piece of technology, I realized they were invasive bastards, no matter how convenient and helpful they could be, and I quickly dialed the cell phone company.

I navigated the automated menu with frustration and curses, but when it finally sent me to a real living and breathing human being, I started to babble to a poor unfortunate operator named Robin.

"This is Dr. Edward Masen. I need to find out the location of the other phone on this account. I just received a call from it."

"Okay, Dr. Masen, let me take a look."

There was typing and background noise from a call center in my ear, but I paced around my entire house the whole time she was looking.

"Um, Dr. Masen, you only have one line on this account. The secondary line was removed," Robin explained, sounding confused.

"That's not possible. It was reported missing two months ago, but I haven't called to remove that phone from the account."

"No, sir, it wasn't you to remove it. It was a Bella Masen. Your wife. She severed that phone from the account."

My heart stopped and then sputtered erratically. "My wife passed away, Robin. When did she change the account?"

"Let me check…" She typed some more, pausing for a moment, and then finally said, "August fifteenth."

I closed my eyes, leaning back against the wall, but my legs couldn't hold me, and I slid down to the floor. "Robin, that doesn't make any sense. My wife died August second."

There was a silence on the other end, but she recovered quickly. "Sir, whoever called verified your wife's information. They knew all of the security questions, as well as her social security number. If this is a matter of theft…"

My nostrils flared as I tried to come to grips with everything I'd witnessed today. "Okay, okay… Then just tell me where the last call I received to this phone came from. What tower or location? Or however it is you can locate it. The call came from the number that used to be my wife's, Robin, so I need to know."

"That is _so_ messed up," Robin muttered, making me smirk at her indignant tone on my behalf, but I closed my eyes as she continued to type. "All I can see is that it was…a tower not far from your location now. In fact, you're pinging off the very same tower as we speak."

My eyes snapped open. "Thank you, Robin. I'll call back if I need anything."

I ended the call, staying down on the floor. Setting my phone down on the carpet, I slipped both hands into my hair and gripped hard. From where I was, I could still see the books sitting on the counter. Steve dropped to the carpet soundlessly, coming to sit by me. His yellow-green eyes were intense as they stayed locked on my face. It was almost as if he was waiting for me to either snap or come to some "Eureka" moment.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I shook my head slowly. "Jesus, Steve, this is like a bad dream," I muttered as I let my hands fall to my lap as I thought back to Jacob's strange behavior the first time I went over to Charlie's house after Bella died.

" _Yeah, those were cool, old stories when I was a kid. I used to imagine myself as this massive wolf." He grinned but shook his head. "I'm the direct descendant…of Ephraim Black."_

 _I chuckled at his wry smirk. "Chief?"_

" _Nah, more like…_ Alpha _."_

 _We laughed loudly at that._

" _Anyway, it wasn't until recently that some of those old legends made sense. Not everything is what you see," he sighed, wrinkling his nose a little. "And death isn't always final."_

"Until recently," I mused, narrowing my eyes on the window facing the front of the house. Rain had started to speckle the driveway. I picked up my phone and tried Jake again, but it went straight to his voice mail. I didn't leave another message.

Swallowing thickly, I tried to recall everything he'd said that day, when he'd been acting so strangely. I'd never been one to lose myself in rumors, what-ifs, and fairytales. Bella did. She loved a story that took a wide turn from reality. I wasn't sure what I believed when it came to life after death. I'd grown up going to church and simply accepting most of what was told to me, and being a doctor, I'd seen some death and close calls. I considered myself fairly level-headed and analytical, but if I stacked up all I'd heard since that call from Charlie a little over two months ago, then the picture that was being painted was simply _crazy_.

I looked to Steve, who was still eyeing me intently. "If some of Jacob's legends are true, and Bella left those books for me to find…" I swallowed thickly again, shaking my head and frowning as my mind ticked off all I knew.

No body was found. Blood everywhere. Death wasn't always final. Cold ones.

 _My beautiful Edward… Don't you ever get too busy to play. Always play. For me. Love, Bella_

Blood drinkers, cold skin like a corpse, super strength, strange eyes, and immortal.

"Cold skin," I mumbled, glancing down at my hands as each and every time I'd shaken Carlisle's hand, his wife's and daughter's hands, came to mind.

The thought of strange eyes brought three sets of golden eyes to mind, not to mention the dark, hate-filled eyes of the redhead at the park.

" _No wonder she guards you… Simply_ delicious _… She'll leave you alone soon enough."_

Delicious.

My eyes squeezed closed and then snapped open when the word slammed into my mind like a Mack truck.

 _Vampire._

A pounding knock on my door made me jump and gasp a bit. Even Steve stood up and warily looked toward the front door. I stood up from my spot on the floor against the wall and glanced out the window to see no car in the driveway.

I opened the door to find Jacob standing there in just a pair of long shorts.

"I got your message," he stated, brushing by me and into the house.

"So…you thought you'd just…run to Seattle from La Push?" I questioned wryly, folding my arms across my chest when he winced a little. Suddenly, my temper started to unravel. "Jacob Black, unless you're standing in my house to start telling me what you know – _all of what you know_ – you can get the hell out."

"I _can't_ ," he said through gritted teeth. "I'm…bound to keep some things secret, Edward. They are not only my secrets. I wish… I want…"

He glanced down at the floor as he trailed off but then caught sight of the stuff still on the kitchen counter. "What the hell?" He huffed a small, not-so-humorous laugh as he sorted through it all – Bella's notes, the poem she'd marked, and the Quileute legend.

I walked to him, setting my phone down next to it all, showing the last call I'd received. When he met my gaze, I raised an eyebrow, asking, "Wanna know what's really crazy about this call, aside from the fact it's from my wife, who—" I sneered at him "—who _died_ August second?" When he shook his head, I continued. "I called the cell company about this call. _My wife_ removed her own cell phone from my plan… _thirteen fucking days after she died!_ I heard her voice, dammit! Now, Jacob, I'm going to ask you again to tell me what you know! Now, or get the hell out of my house!"

He sputtered, opening his mouth, which snapped closed again. His body shook, and sweat broke out across his forehead, in spite of his lack of clothing and the chilly fall air outside. Instead of speaking, he shook his head back and forth, and I started to walk toward the front door.

Before I could get two steps from him, he had his large hands gripping my T-shirt fiercely. "You _have_ to guess, Edward," he hissed in a whisper, his eyes wild and dark. "I'm not kidding. Tell _me_ what you've figured out. That's the only way this will work, man."

I met his wild, frantic gaze, seeing nothing but sincerity, but I was afraid to utter these things aloud, so my voice was a mere whisper. "Sh-She's… She's left me notes," I started so softly, and he nodded for me to keep going. "She marked books and poems – stories about your tribe, poems about…" I trailed off in describing the poem because I was too afraid to hope that she was truly trying to tell me something. "She's calling me, Jake." There was too much hope in my tone, but Jacob didn't correct me or flinch at it.

I studied his face some more, coming to the conclusion that I might as well spill all my insane theories. "The legends are true, aren't they? All of them. Today, at the park, there was a…a…woman. Red hair, weird clothes, but she… She wasn't _human_ , was she? Carlisle…his family… You didn't like them because _they_ aren't human. You… Your people… Your ancestors fought these…these… _cold ones_."

"Yes, we do."

"Do," I repeated, and he watched my face as I let that settle over me. He'd used present tense. "You change into a wolf? You're really an _Alpha_?"

"I am." He tugged me by my shirt and settled me on the stool at the counter, making sure I didn't collapse to the floor.

"You told Charlie you _used_ to hate Carlisle and his family," I stated, looking up at him as he walked around to the other side of the kitchen counter to shuffle through all the things Bella had left me.

"Mmhmm," he hummed, meeting my gaze. "Edward, keep going. When I tell you that you have to guess, I'm not fucking kidding. You have to do this so that bonds and vows aren't broken, do you understand me?"

Nodding, I picked up the notes my wife had left me, examining them closely, but I continued on the same line of thinking. "But you're okay with Carlisle now? Why? What changed? If they're something…"

"Bella." Jake's voice was raspy, and he wrinkled his nose a bit. "Bella changed it."

That fell harshly into the room, and I snapped my gaze to his, my temper unraveling and almost violent. "Jake! Dammit!"

He leaned down onto his elbow on the counter, bringing his face close to mine. "Edward, if I told you that the legends of my tribe are true, then what else does that tell you? Think!" His face was fierce, his eyes dark, but he didn't look away. "There is shit going on in this world that regular people can't know. There are promises I've made that…" He sighed deeply, closing his eyes and shaking his head slowly. "Promises that mean life or death. And I know it doesn't make sense, but Bella was my best friend growing up, and you became a good friend when you came along, Edward. But…this is more than just pinky swears on the beach over hot dogs."

He stood up and walked around the counter to the front window that faced the driveway. "Trust me when I tell you, I didn't think any of this shit was real when I was a kid. They were just cool stories. Now…I wish they weren't true, but they are." He turned to face me. "And it's really, _truly_ fucked up that you're trapped in the middle of it all."

My brow furrowed as I absorbed what he was saying – or at least skirting around. I looked down at the counter, picking up the book of poems Bella had left me.

 _Do not stand at my grave and cry;_ _  
_ _I am not there; I did not die._

My Bella was smart. She was soft and sweet and beautiful, but she took her books and words so very seriously. Bella with the written word was like some people who could quote song lyrics from normal conversations. She had the ability to draw parallels between life and literature.

"I really heard her voice," I whispered suddenly, gazing at the book and finally lifting my eyes to Jake. "I did. Didn't I?"

He flinched a little but waved me on.

"There was no animal attack."

"Oh, they're animals, all right."

My eyes narrowed. "If she's… If Bella is… Is she?" I sputtered out, not even understanding myself, but Jacob got it and nodded a bit. "If she's leaving me messages, calling me, then why can't I see my wife? Why won't she come to me?"

"She's not your wife anymore."

My temper unraveled, and I threw the book in my hand. "She'll be my wife until she tells me differently, Jake! If she's still alive, I want…"

"She can't, Edward," he whispered, bracing himself when I walked to him. "She isn't Bella anymore." His shoulders sagged. "She is, but she isn't…"

I stepped away from him, snatching up the books and the notes, even the book I'd thrown. I shoved it into his chest. "Tell me she isn't the same!"

"She is, but she isn't," he repeated a touch harsher this time.

"Why can't I see her? Does she… Jesus, Jake, what happened out on that road that night? And what the fuck is everyone hiding from me!?"

There was another knock on my front door, and I glared at Jacob for a beat or two as my breathing was harsh through flared nostrils. I finally broke away from him when there was another knock. A glance out the window showed a sleek, black, newer-model Mercedes sitting in my driveway behind my cars.

I wasn't sure who I expected, but it wasn't the man standing nervously on my doorstep.

"Carlisle," I said, now aware of what he was – or what he might have been.

"Son, we need to talk. May I come in?" he greeted softly.

"Do you need permission?" I snarked back.

A small, wry smirk crossed his face, but his response was calm. "It's still polite to ask, Edward."

Stepping aside, I let him in, and he greeted Jacob with a nod.

"He figured it out; I didn't tell him," Jake defended, folding his large arms across his chest.

Carlisle chuckled lowly, shaking his head. "Oh, I'm aware of how he's 'figured it out.'" He sighed deeply but smiled warmly Jacob's way. "The treaty is still intact, Jacob. These are…unusual circumstances."

I glanced between them at the mention of a treaty. "Will someone tell me something? _Anything_?!"

"Yes," Carlisle answered, and still he was almost irritatingly calm. "Is there somewhere we can all sit down?"

Nodding, I led everyone into the living room, where we sat on the couch and chair. With my elbows on my knees, I gripped my hair as I glared at the floor. "Is my wife alive or not?" I ground out through gritted teeth, glancing up between the two of them, but it was Carlisle who answered.

"Edward…son, what I'm about to tell you can't leave this room. You've put it together as to what we are, but I need to explain to you just how dangerous it is for a human to know, okay? We will address your original question, but in order to do that, I must have your complete, undivided attention as to why you can't tell anyone what you're about to hear. You _must_ promise me."

He met my gaze, and at that moment, I knew he wasn't normal…or human. His eyes were severe and golden, and I saw that behind them was someone – or some _thing_ – who was more than a gentle doctor. And he waited – eerily still and patient – for me to answer him.

I nodded a little. "Yeah, okay. I promise." My voice cracked, but he accepted that answer and stood up to walk around the room.

"I need you to understand one thing, first and foremost. Jacob wanted to come to you immediately. He thought it unfair to keep you in the dark. So his vow was to me." Carlisle rolled his eyes Jake's way. "Not that he didn't hint at it."

Jake's grin was wide and easy as he shrugged a large shoulder.

"However, now that you've figured it out, you need to understand a few things." Carlisle stared out the window of the living room for a moment but then pushed his hands into the front pockets of his pants and faced me. "What we are…" he mused softly. "We are predators, Edward. We are what the legends describe – blood-drinking, night-stalking, hunters of men. We are impervious to human weapons, and we're incredibly fast and strong. We can live for centuries, never changing, always the same. We are… _frozen_ , essentially."

His voice sounded sad and ancient at the description, but he went on.

"By nature, we're designed to kill. Everything we are pulls a human in for our consumption, but there are a few of us who push against that instinct. We fight what we are in order to lead a better, more normal life. My family and I don't want to be killers. We stay together as a family – another thing that makes us different from the normal vampire."

I flinched at the word, because it was the first time it had been uttered aloud.

"Get used to it, buddy," Jake whispered.

Nodding, I looked back to Carlisle. "I-If you don't kill…"

"We drink the blood of animals," he answered when my voice trailed off. "It's not as satisfying, but it gives us the golden eye color, a calmer demeanor, and a clean conscience. Those of us on a more traditional diet would have red eyes. Like the redhead at the park today."

My eyebrows shot up. "Her eyes were black."

"Because she was hunting you," Jake answered.

"Wh-What? Why?"

Carlisle took a deep breath and sat back down in front of me. "For revenge, son, and I'll explain in a moment, but one more promise from you. My kind is governed by three very old, very strict vampires, so you must understand that me telling you is breaking the utmost law of our kind. So I'm trusting you to keep it quiet."

"Yes, sir."

He nodded, closing his eyes for a moment and then gazing back at me. "I owe you an apology, Edward. Actually, I owe you several. But the biggest one I owe you is…it's my fault that you lost Bella."

My eyes narrowed on him, but he held his hand up.

"Wait, son. Let me finish. The night Bella was visiting her father in Forks, my family and I were chasing a small coven of nomads. Jake and his pack joined us, but we didn't know we were steering them directly toward Bella. We didn't know she'd broken down. And we most certainly didn't know what the coven was capable of." He rubbed his face in weary frustration but looked back to me. "There were three of them – two men and a woman. A woman with red hair." He waited until I nodded in understanding before he went on. "James, Laurent, and Victoria were working their way through Washington and feeding on humans, but when they stumbled upon my family, we asked them to please move on from the area. Some local residents had been found, though they blamed it on animal attacks. In fact, Charlie had investigated those deaths."

Carlisle stood up and started to pace again. "My family is very talented, Edward, so they were aware of deception and plots against them. Words were exchanged between members of my family and this coven, which sent them on a chase. The wolves became involved when the coven crossed over the treaty line between our land and theirs, and Jake and I agreed to work together to rid the area of these three."

"We didn't know, Edward," Jacob piped up softly. "We didn't know she was there until it was too late. The blond guy, James, reached her before any of us could get there. My pack surrounded the area, and Carlisle's family did the same, but before Carlisle could negotiate for Bella, before any of us could blink, he bit her. And then…it was chaos. We all lost our shit. We split up and worked together. One of Carlisle's guys – Jasper, I think… He caught the one with dreadlocks. Quil, Embry, and Paul caught the one who'd bitten Bella. We tore them apart, and they're gone, but that redhead got away. She led the rest of us all on a wild chase, and we lost her in the water."

Carlisle sat down again. "We had to work fast, son. We… I worked as best I could on Bella, but she was bitten, and the venom was already working on her, changing her into one of us. I asked her what she wanted, what choice she wanted to make, and all she wanted was you. She said she couldn't leave you."

Tears burned my eyes, and I wasn't sure if it was in sadness or regret that I'd let my sweet Bella go alone to see her father. I'd been blaming myself since the call from Charlie, but this cemented it for me.

"So she's…" I started but trailed off because I wasn't sure what I was asking.

"She's one of us now," Carlisle said gently.

I was mad, and I wasn't sure where I wanted to direct it or what I wanted to destroy, but it was Jacob I rounded on. "You lied to me!" I snarled, my hands balling up into fists. "You told me you tracked the woods, that it was a bear. You told me there was no way she'd survive."

"She didn't," Jacob countered, pointing to Carlisle. "There's no heartbeat, no blood flow in that body. She doesn't eat food, she doesn't sleep, and she can't touch you without breaking you, Edward. That's not alive!"

"Jacob Black," Carlisle stated firmly, the first show of temper or impatience I'd ever seen from him. "I'm aware of our differences, but I can assure you that I am every bit alive. My mind, my emotions, my intelligence are every bit intact as it was over two hundred years ago." Jake waved a hand at him, but Carlisle turned back to me. "We are natural enemies, Edward," he said, gesturing between himself and Jake. "However, when it came to Bella, we've had to put aside some of those things and focus on the big picture."

"No offense to either of you," I stated, standing up and pacing a bit as I gripped my hair hard. "I don't care about your pack, or your family…or even that crazy redhead. What I care about is Bella. Now, I…I get that there were secrets that had to be maintained, but if my wife was asking for me, I want to know how someone could deny her that. I want to know where she is, because she's obviously been trying to tell me something since this shit started." I rounded on them both, my temper snapping. "I want to see my wife!"

Carlisle stood up and walked to me. "Edward, calm down. Let me explain, please."

I stood tall in front of him, flinching when his hand landed on my shoulder, but I nodded a little. "Why can't I see her? Doesn't she…" Suddenly, the realization that my Bella may have changed her mind about me hit me like a wrecking ball, and that really _hurt_.

"Oh, son, she's been fighting so hard against everything to see you, but you must understand something. She's what we consider to be a newborn vampire. She's acclimating to feeding and her strength and her new senses. She could kill you, in all honesty, despite the fact I believe she's rather talented herself." He sighed deeply, a small smile curling his mouth. "The normal thing to do is to remove all doubt of her death, sever ties from the living left behind, and not to look back." When my angry gaze snapped up to his calm one, he continued. "We did not do that here because Bella begged us and because Jacob asked us to keep her close. Both have agreed that you would accept this – all of this – just fine. They were also worried you'd fall apart at the loss of her, and I'm beginning to agree."

Frowning, I shook my head and let out a deep breath, my hands balling up into fists. "I want to see Bella. The fact that you stand between me and the wife I thought I'd lost makes me fucking furious, Carlisle. I'm not a violent person, but I could…" I trailed off just a bit, my hands curling into claws, but they dropped to my sides. "I don't care the reasons, not a single one. I've been lied to – _Charlie's_ been lied to – since the beginning, and I can't say whether I'll ever trust either of you. And it's obvious that Bella has tried to see me because…" I pointed toward the notes and books that were still on the kitchen floor after I'd shoved them at Jacob.

"She did that when you weren't here, Edward," Jake explained.

Carlisle hummed in agreement. "Hmm, yes, it seems the women in my family are hopeless romantics, and they decided to let her leave you clues as to what happened. Alice sees the future, and with you… She sees several outcomes. However, she knew the day in the hospital that you didn't quite see through the façade we were putting on."

"The problem we face now is Victoria," Jacob stated, standing up from his spot on the sofa. "That crazy bitch isn't stopping." He looked to me. "Just when we thought maybe we'd let you figure it all out and let Bella come to you, that redheaded leech started tracking Bella. See, she blames her for losing her mate, James."

"And while tracking Bella, it unfortunately led Victoria to you," Carlisle stated. "Bella then went from begging to see you, to begging for us to protect you. You are always protected, Edward. You have been since the beginning. There are several of us watching you at all times. It was why I took the job at the hospital."

I sighed deeply. "So that's what the…the…what Victoria meant when she'd said 'no wonder she guards you…'"

"Yeah, we were there this morning," Jake said, wrinkling his nose a bit. "Bella came really close to catching her then." He held up his thumb and forefinger close together. "She was really pissed when the leech talked to you this morning, but she lost her in Puget Sound. Bella was more interested in where you went than Victoria, so we stuck with you. When we heard you call the cell phone company…we knew you'd figured it out."

I scrubbed my face harshly, raking my fingers through my hair. "I want to _see_ her. I need to set eyes on my wife. I'm…I'd… I don't care what she's become; she's still _my_ Bella. And I'm tired of the lies and the clues and the silent phone calls. If she's done with me, then she'll have to tell me, but you're not keeping me from my wife a minute longer."

Jacob and Carlisle exchanged a glance, but ultimately, the latter finally nodded. "Okay, but we do this at my home with my family in order to keep her under control should it be too much."

"I'm going, too," Jacob stated.

I looked to Carlisle and nodded. "Fine. I'll follow you in my car. Jacob, you'll ride with me."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… So I have to tell you… Some of you were** _ **so close**_ **with how things had come about. Some of you have been spot-on since the get-go. And some of you are still very close as to why the phone calls, notes, etc.**

 **Now… you know the whys. And what you've been wanting from the beginning is next. ;) Everyone can take a great, big, deep breath and let it out. :D Please hold on to that trust you've had since the start, because I adore this Edward and want to give him the damn world. LOL**

 **Okay, so I'll be back next week – Sunday/Monday – somewhere around in there. Until then… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	6. Everything I Needed

**A/N… Again, you're not going to listen to me up here. ;) Go on… See me at the bottom.**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 6 – Everything I Needed**

 _From the moment I saw you  
It was the look that you had in your eyes  
You were everything I needed  
From that time for the rest of my life  
And I'm counting all the days down  
til I can see you and I know somehow  
if you need me the way that I need you_

 _Cause I don't want anybody else but you._  
 _I know what to say but I don't know how_  
 _I don't want to go through the rest of my life_  
 _without you my baby, no_  
 _Cause I don't want anybody else but you_  
 _I don't want to wait till my time runs out_  
 _I just want to tell you how much that you mean to me_  
 _You're the only one I see_

" _Anyone Else" by Orianthi_

 **EDWARD**

My car was completely silent for the first twenty minutes of the almost-hour drive I now knew to expect. The grip I had on the steering wheel as I navigated the highway behind Carlisle's Mercedes was almost painful. The anger, however, hadn't dissipated. Not even a little. I was mad at Jacob, Carlisle, myself, the circumstances, and maybe even a little bit at Bella for some of it, even though I knew most of it, if not all, was out of her control.

Jacob sat in the passenger seat, fidgeting occasionally, but he stayed quiet. My nostrils flared at the fact that he'd known all this time and lied continuously to me.

"Does Charlie get the same courtesy clues?" I asked harshly.

"No." He shook his head, his eyes trained out the side window. "No. He can't, Edward. There are reasons you get to know, but that's up to Bella to tell you. Charlie, though, will live out the rest of his life with the notion that his little girl is gone. It's for his protection and Bella's, man. Carlisle isn't kidding about those creepy fuckers who rule them. They will kill anyone who breaks the rule – human or vamp. They don't care. In fact, they've sent scouts already, due to that Victoria bitch. She's on a killing spree in Seattle."

Wincing at that, I nodded in acceptance. There was a small, selfish part of me that silently rejoiced for whatever reasons gave me back the chance to see my Bella again. And I wasn't sure how I felt about that, about secrets and lies that had already been told or would be spilled again in the future…if it meant I got to _keep_ Bella.

"Why didn't she just come to me?" I asked him softly, still a bit hurt that this shit had gone on this long. Two months of hell thinking the love of my life was dead had been torture.

Jake chuckled humorlessly to himself, still keeping his eyes out the window. "Oh, my damn, Edward… You have no idea. From the get-go, she was crying for you. Seriously. From the second she was changing, to the moment she opened her eyes three days later – _you_ were her first word, thought, need. Not blood, not reassurance, definitely not me or the Cullens. You."

He turned a bit in his seat to look my way. "It was why I asked them to stay in the area. It was why she begged them not to move her. They wanted to take her someplace remote so she could learn, but she lost her mind. I really did want to tell you, but I was bound by the treaty, my pack, and by Bella. She… She's really scared as to what you'll think or do now that she's…she's…a…"

I rolled my eyes his way, waiting for his biased opinion of vampires, but he smirked and shrugged.

"I can't help it. It's instinct for me to hate them, but she's…different."

"Or maybe it's because you knew her before, Jake."

"No… Well, yeah, probably, but Carlisle's right. She may have some sort of talent, because she's only two months old and she's _way_ calmer than I – or any of them, really – expected. Carlisle thinks she can shield herself from the scent of blood, which is what makes them crazy. She's never really had that frenzy they've all been expecting."

"Talent?"

"Yeah, I guess some of them wake up with extra…stuff. Alice can see the future, and her mate, Jasper, can fiddle around with feelings and emotions. Emmett…that fucker is strong as all hell." He shook his head. "And those creepy guys from Italy? They've got all sorts of talented blood-suckers."

I flinched at the derogatory tone and name he had for them, but I stayed quiet.

"I will tell you this," he continued after a minute or two. "It's hard to keep up with her." When I spun my head his way, he snorted. "And I don't mean because she's fast as shit now, but her mind, her emotions, they're a rollercoaster. One second she's sad, the next she's mad, and she tries to bury it all by reading, but…I'll find her just staring out a window. And she'll suddenly need to check on you."

Nodding, I sighed, focusing back on the road as Carlisle finally exited the highway. We wound through small-town streets of North Bend, working our way toward the edge of the woods. There were three preserves that merged into one big forest, and Carlisle's home was somewhere just north of where the Mt. Ranier section began.

The houses grew in size and farther apart, and we finally ended on one street with a home that made my jaw drop. It was a stunning display of wealth and size, with a cabin-like feel to it. It was spread out, using the backdrop of the woods to its advantage – stone paths, tall trees, sprawling green lawns. And even from the front drive, I could see the back had some sort of stone deck, a natural wood table, and a small pond with a decorative bridge.

"And you thought _you_ had money," Jake said through a chuckle at my awed face. "Imagine centuries of interest stacking up, not to mention a future seer who can predict the stock market; it beats a castle with dungeons and moats."

Rolling my eyes his way, I came to a stop behind Carlisle in the long, curved driveway. "I don't give a fuck about any of this shit, Jake; I just want to see Bella."

"Well, you'll get your chance…" He smirked, jerking his chin toward the front door.

I honestly wasn't prepared for the feelings that washed over me at seeing my wife as I stood up out of the car. So many things ran through my mind all at once – loss, relief, sadness, anger, curiosity, and jealousy. The anger and jealousy went hand in hand at these people, this _family_ coming to stand on the front step at her side. Jealousy that they had been the ones to help her, not me. Anger that they lied and hid her from me, that I'd gone well over two months thinking the only person I had left on this planet was taken from me.

However, none of it mattered when she stepped forward, because in spite of the changes that were glaringly obvious, I'd recognize my nervous girl anywhere. Physically, she was stunning, like an angel or some sort of ethereal being. She'd always had smooth, pale skin, but this was more. Her hair was thicker, darker, with hints of red in it that usually only shone in the sunlight but now highlighted the waves. When I got to her eyes, my heart broke a little. Where the warm, chocolate brown used to give me peace, they were now some sort of reddish, burnt umber color, and I realized that the warm brown was gone forever. Something about that was too much to think about, so I focused on her fidgeting, her nervous shifting, and her downcast gaze to my feet, not my face.

But above _all of that_ , above the inane changes, the small, strange crowd around us, and the quiet of the woods, the sight of Bella's face when she finally lifted her gaze to mine told me I'd never love anyone as much as I loved her.

"B-Bella," I sighed in relief and need and hope.

I didn't see her move, but suddenly she was hugging me with a force I wasn't expecting. She was way stronger than I'd anticipated, and a grunt escaped me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" she chanted over and over, loosening her hold but not letting go.

Wrapping my arms all the way around her, I buried my face in her neck. All the new things registered instantly. She was hard, slightly cooler, but my God, she smelled exactly the same. It was the scent I'd grieved for when I thought I'd lost her. It was fruit and flowers, it was calm and home and peace. It was all the things that had been missing in the empty hole of my chest.

Tears burned my eyes. "God, I missed you, sweetheart," I mumbled into her neck.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I was…and they…and this…and…" She suddenly pulled away, which caused me to stumble forward a bit. Her fingers were at her throat, and she was swallowing repeatedly. "I'm okay!" she snapped to the small group behind her. "I would _never_ hurt him!" Her eyes switched to black fire as she glared at two tall men – one eyeing me with a grin, the other with an assessing glare.

Jacob chuckled. "Told you. Rollercoaster." He gestured to the group. "Edward Masen, meet the Cullens…or at least the ones you don't know. The big guy is Emmett. The other one is Jasper. The Barbie doll back there is Rosalie. She's my new BFF," he taunted, grinning her way, and the beautiful blonde rolled her eyes.

"I still have a muzzle, pup."

"I still have a lighter, leech."

"Hush, all of you." Esme stepped forward, her gaze just as warm and kind as the first time I'd met her at the hospital. "Edward, it's good to see you again. I'm so sorry about the circumstances, and please understand that we had no choice but to keep some things secret."

I shook her hand again, nodding once, but noticed Alice stepping forward, saying, "She doesn't need us. They'll be sitting out back."

It was Bella's turn to roll her eyes, but Carlisle stepped forward. What was interesting was his immediate calming of the entire group. Everyone looked to him with what seemed like respect and anticipation, including Jacob and Bella.

"I'm sure you two have a lot to discuss, but I'd like to sit down as a family when you're ready. These circumstances are not unheard of, but they need to be handled carefully. Bella, if you feel uncomfortable in any way, just say the word. Edward, please keep in mind that Bella has new senses, more enhanced ones, so her reactions may frighten you."

Bella huffed, and I'd recognize that pout anywhere, but she stepped away from the others, offering me her hand, and I slipped my fingers alongside hers, noting the difference from before but also feeling like I'd come home. When Bella glanced down at our entwined fingers and back up to my face with a slight look of shock, I knew she'd felt it, too. She shook her head slightly but tugged my hand gently to lead me to the back of the house. We crossed over the small bridge to the stone deck, and she sat down at the rough wooden table.

I pulled the chair out beside hers, sitting slowly, but I could barely take my eyes off her. There was so much I'd missed, things I'd forgotten, or things that were new, but I couldn't quite decide where to keep my eyes.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," she whispered, glancing up from her wringing hands to my face. "I know how hurt you must be. I…"

I huffed a humorless laugh. "You're alive, Bella. I honestly wasn't sure I was making it day to day without you. I am hurt, but I'm not sure with all they've told me that _you_ should be making that apology."

She grimaced but nodded a little, shooting a glance to the house behind me. "They've been good to me. They've made this…" She gestured to herself in a way that seemed disgusted and self-deprecating. It was a little bit of the Bella I'd first met, the one who didn't see herself as beautiful as I always did. "They've made all this a bit easier, because I was so scared. And then when they said I needed to cut all ties, to leave you…" She looked to me, her chin trembling. "I didn't know _how_ , Edward! I don't know… I thought… The mere concept of leaving you to think I was dead just… _broke me_. But…things aren't the same as before, and I'm so sorry about the notes and the calls and the clues. I just thought…I just needed you, to hear your voice. I thought maybe if you figured it out that we could at least get _here_. That we could…"

Smiling sadly, I offered her my hand, letting her choose to touch me. I couldn't be mad at her for needing me, needing to hear my voice. That most certainly was understandable.

"It's okay, sweetheart." I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her fingers. It was such a normal habit that I barely even registered the temperature of her skin. And really, I was simply grateful to have her in front of me.

"No, it was cruel and selfish, and I scared you."

"Okay, maybe a little, but I'm not sure I wouldn't have done the same thing, baby," I soothed her. "So now… I'm here, I've figured it out – along with a bit of Jake's pushing and your clues – and I know about Victoria, so…"

The sound that escaped her was feral, and I recognized it instantly from that very morning. It was slightly feline in tone, and while it was alien to me, it was still Bella, and I was surprised to find that I liked it. Very much.

"That crazy bitch…" she sneered, trailing off and shaking her head. "Her mate, James, caused all this, but she blames _me_ for getting him killed."

She stood up from the table quickly, and she was practically a blur in movements. While I tried not to be startled, I jumped a bit.

"I'm sorry. I moved too fast. I can hear your heartbeat." She was standing in front of me, and I pulled her back down to the chair in front of me. "I'm so sorry."

"That's the last apology to me, Isabella," I chided as gently as I could. "None of this is your fault."

She smirked at my use of her full name but nodded again. "Everything's different. Everything feels _too much_. It's overwhelming, Edward. I can hear everything: bugs crawling on leaves, the hum of the electric wires, the sound of your blood rushing through your veins. All of it. It's loud. And smells… I smell everything. It's so _much._ " When she looked back down at our entwined fingers, she spoke softly and slowly. "I was so scared. My tire blew just after leaving Dad's house. I called you and then him. I was waiting for him to come, but suddenly, there was all this noise from the woods. Next thing I know, I'm grabbed up in hands so strong that they broke my collarbone." She trailed her fingers lightly around her neck. "He broke my necklace."

"I have it, Bella."

Her gaze snapped to mine. "Really?"

"Yes, at home. It's broken, but I have it. It's yours whenever you want it. Charlie found it by the car."

"Hmm," she hummed in acceptance. "We were surrounded by Jake's pack and Carlisle's family. The two people with James were telling him to put me down, to run, but he said…he said he couldn't. That my blood was calling him." She looked up at me. "When he bit me, the pain was excruciating…and it never seemed to end. All I wanted was to go home to you and Steve."

I kissed her fingers again at the mention of home…and Steve. "He misses you."

"He's seen me." She wrinkled her nose. "He wasn't sure what was different, but whenever I've stepped into the house, he's been there chatting away at me."

Grinning, I shook my head. "No wonder he's been acting funny, the little traitor."

Her giggle was beautiful, musical, and it made me smile, but it didn't last long. Her smile fell quickly as she went on with her story.

"I burned for three days, calling for you. When I woke up, I was surrounded by the Cullens…and Jake. I knew Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett from high school. They were…different. We weren't friends, and I didn't know what they were. Alice was in a few of my classes, but they kept to themselves mostly. They…they go to school as students in order to stay in one place for longer periods of time."

She stood up again, this time slower, more deliberate. "When they explained what I was, what happened to me, I was a mess! They said I had to leave Washington, had to forget you, my parents, my job…my _home_. They said I had to be dead to you, but…but… You know what I told them?" she asked, and I shook my head."I told them that it was cruel, that you've lost everyone in your life, and to lose me too would destroy you, and Jake agreed with me, saying that he'd vouch for you. I was mad when they didn't believe me. I was mad when I told them that I loved you and I couldn't leave you. They said you needed to move on, that you'd live your life – your _human_ life – out just fine without me. They also told me that I couldn't be around you without wanting to kill you, but I don't know what they're talking about, because the burn isn't that bad. I just…"

She paced back and forth in front of me as she trailed off again. Jacob was right about the rollercoaster of emotions that seemed to flow from her, because her next statement was completely out of left field.

"I'm not human anymore, Edward. I'm not normal. I'm some sort of…of…twisted nightmare. I don't sleep anymore. I don't eat food. I have to hunt animals in order to live, to think straight. I'm something out of a fucking fictional book!" she yelled, squeezing her eyes closed to get herself under control. "The more I thought about it, the more I thought they were right. I couldn't be good for you. And all of that…was within a week of my change." She huffed a laugh that bordered on hysterics, but she shook as she calmed herself again. "I started to do what they said, to…pull away from you. I'm sorry about the phone, but I wanted to keep my number. I don't know… It made sense at the time, but I couldn't let you go. I just couldn't."

"Hey, c'mere, sweetheart," I whispered, and I pulled her between my legs. "Please calm down. Look at me, Bella," I pleaded when she glared down between us. When those strange-colored eyes looked back to me, I couldn't help but reach up slowly to touch her face, caress her cheek. She leaned into my hand, her eyes closing a little. "I'm pretty sure I vowed to you that I was yours through sickness and through health, not to mention through good times and bad."

"I can't have children anymore," she whispered. "You…you wanted a family, Edward, and now I can't give you that."

"I wanted my wife!" I countered, raising an eyebrow up at her. "I believe that came first. That won't change, Bella."

"I know," she whimpered, reaching up slowly to take my face into her hands. She held me so lightly, I could barely feel it. "I know. I thought I loved you before, but the first time I got a glimpse of you after… Oh my God, Edward… You need to know."

"Know what?"

"Vampires mate for life." Her statement hung there for a moment as she continued to touch my face. "And they are immortal. Well, they can live forever, anyway. Immortal is the incorrect term. They…We can be killed."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that the second I saw you after my change, I knew you were my mate. It had nothing to do with my love for you, our marriage, or even the six years of history together. We… You are my mate, Edward. I'll never love anyone else _as long as I live_."

Nodding, I stood up in front of her. I let that sink in, because I knew what she was saying. As much as it gave me joy to know that she still loved me, it also meant that I would grow old while she stayed exactly the same.

"You have a choice, baby," she whispered behind me as I stepped away a bit. "I can…leave you be."

Smirking, I rounded on her. "Seriously, Bella?" I reached for her left hand, lifting her wedding rings. "Could you leave?" I asked her, holding her gaze with my own.

She started shaking her head, her lip and chin trembling again. "No. I just…" She sagged a little, looking up at me and blinking rapidly. "Edward…"

I pulled her to me, wrapping her up in my arms. I smiled when she practically lifted herself and wrapped her legs around me. Sitting down in the chair, I breathed deeply into her neck.

"I'd rather figure it out…together, Bella."

"Me, too."

"I'd rather help you with this, not think you were dead."

"Me, too."

"I've missed you so fucking much, sweetheart, so I'll take whatever I can get to have you, to keep you. You're my wife, _my Bella_. If I'm your mate, don't you think it stands to reason that you're mine?"

She gasped, pulling back enough to look me in the face, but she stayed planted on my lap, completely wrapped around me.

"I kind of like the thought that we were always meant to be," I told her softly, shrugging a shoulder. "Anything other than that, we'll figure out."

"We have so much shit to deal with, Edward," she countered, not as an argument but merely stating facts. "I can't let Victoria hurt you. I can't let the Volturi know my human husband knows about vampires…or that I kinda, sorta let him in on it." She smirked at my chuckle, but she sobered up quickly again. "And I have to stay dead to everyone but you."

"Damn," I sighed, shaking my head. "Charlie."

She nodded, blinking rapidly, and I realized that she was crying when her voice cracked, saying, "And my mom."

"Aw, hell, sweetheart, I'm sorry," I groaned, pulling her back to my chest as she clung to me tightly. "We will figure it out, Bella."

When she clung a bit tighter, I grunted, gasping when she was up and off my lap in a blink. "And shit, I've got to figure out how to touch you again without breaking you."

"We will," I vowed, nodding a little. "That is something we'll definitely be working on, Isabella." I grinned when a small growl escaped her and her eyes darkened. "God, I missed you. Don't ever leave me again, sweetheart. I can't…live without you. It's not living. I was merely going through the motions."

I sat forward, leaning my elbows on my knees and sinking my hands into my hair. The relief of seeing my wife again, of talking to her, was practically making me dizzy. The reality – no matter how strange – of what we now had to face was daunting. But damn, I'd face anything in order to keep her.

The familiarity of small fingers raking through my hair brought tears to my eyes. Until today, I had thought I'd never feel it again.

"I'm sorry about the calls."

My head snapped up to see her contrite expression. "I said no more apologies."

Her smile was soft and sweet. "I know, but that one… I need to say that one. I heard your last message back, and I told Jake to go to you. I knew you knew when you called the cell phone company."

Nodding in agreement, I pulled her closer. "Yeah, all the puzzle pieces sort of fell into place."

We were quiet for a moment as she stood between my legs again, and I just couldn't stop _looking_ at her.

Her smile curled up her sweet mouth. "God, I missed the way you'd look at me. The only time I got to see you was when you were asleep or from far away. I wasn't sure you'd figure it out, or if you'd even want to deal with this, but I _had_ to watch over you. I couldn't function without it. I couldn't think or relax or even hunt without worrying about you."

"Deal with this," I repeated, narrowing my eyes on her. "Bella, I'm in." I shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know what will happen, but you were it for me when I first saw you in the UW library, and you're it for me now. I just want to know what you need from me. How can I help you? How can we stay together? How do we move on? These are the questions I have. Your…Your physical changes mean nothing to me. This," I sighed deeply, holding up her wedding rings. "This means everything to me. It always did. When I said 'Til death do us part,' did you think this situation qualified?" I teased her, but I shook my head when she did. "No, not a chance in hell, sweetheart."

"I'm a vampire," she whispered, grimacing at the word.

"You were my wife first, my Bella," I countered gently. "I would've gone on, you know, but I would've never loved anyone else the way that I love you. And that's the truth. It would've been unfair, and…and half-assed at best. I would've died alone. Now…we have options, and we have struggles, but I'm not going anywhere without you. Despite what Dr. Cullen may think."

Her nose wrinkled. "They can hear you."

"I don't care. I'm still a little pissed that you were kept from me." I held up my hand. "I get it; there were secrets and treaties and all sorts of shit that needed to be kept quiet. They have their family and Jake has his pack. But Bella, you were all I had, and the loss of you nearly broke me."

Her eyes blinked rapidly again as she cupped my face so softly. "I love you."

"Love you, too, sweetheart. We'll figure us out together. We'll deal with this like we've done with everything else in our lives. Together. Always."

"Always?" she whispered, her face hopeful and scared at the same time, and I knew what she meant.

"Bella, I would walk through hell to get to you, and I can't see myself anywhere else but with you, so we can make that decision whenever you're ready. Right now, I'm here, and I'm willing to help you in any way. Okay?"

She nodded vehemently. "Okay." She winced, placing her hands flat on either side of my face. "Be so still, Edward. Please. Don't move."

"Okay," I barely breathed aloud.

Bella leaned forward, closing her eyes and pressing her lips to my forehead. The feeling was so comforting, I closed my eyes to revel in it. In spite of the cooler feel of her lips, there was still the electric feel of her kiss. Swallowing thickly, I pulled back to look her in the eye, but she merely pressed her forehead to mine.

"I have to do this slowly, Edward. I could really hurt you."

"Whatever you need, Bella," I said, but the draw to press my lips to hers was almost making me shake.

I heard the door of the house open behind us, and the sound of Alice's voice made me pull away from Bella.

"She's not ready, Edward," she stated. "Her thirst is under control, but her strength isn't. If you want to come in, we can tell you about it." She walked slowly to us, and Bella sighed in frustration. "Bella, I've seen him like us, and I've seen you both gone. We can help you. Both of you. You just have to trust us."

I snorted at the word trust, but one look at Bella's face told me I really didn't have a choice. They'd taken her in, saved her life, and helped her when I couldn't.

"Fine," I stated harshly, standing up in front of my wife but turning to Alice. "Lead the way."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… I do believe that was what you** _ **all**_ **were waiting for. ;) There's more to come. I promise.**

 **I will tell you this… Writing a slightly bi-polar vamp Bella is so very fun. LOL She's fierce and sweet and crazy about her Edward, but she's all over the place and learning and way too strong. And I love her. ;) For those that guessed that she was calling just to hear his voice, pat yourself on the back, because that was correct.**

 **You guys can take that deep breath and let it out for now. He's got his girl back. That should keep you until next week, but we've got all sorts of – as Bella put it –** _ **shit**_ **to deal with now that he knows everything. Until next Monday… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	7. Ordinary World

**A/N… We're still at the Cullen home, so I'll let you get to it. See me at the bottom…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 7 – Ordinary World**

 _Papers in the roadside  
Tell of suffering and greed  
Here today, forgot tomorrow  
Ooh, here besides the news  
Of holy war and holy need  
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk_

 _And I don't cry for yesterday_  
 _There's an ordinary world_  
 _Somehow I have to find_  
 _And as I try to make my way_  
 _To the ordinary world_  
 _I will learn to survive_

" _Ordinary World" by Duran Duran_

 **EDWARD**

Bella and I watched as Alice walked back inside the house, but I glanced down at the feel of my wife's hand slipping into mine. Since the very beginning of our relationship, that had always felt just perfect to me. And her sweet, soft giggle told me that she felt it, too.

However, that sound, that sweet, gorgeous sound of laughter caused tears to well up in my eyes. "Jesus, sweetheart, I never thought I'd hear that sound again," I whispered, bringing her hand up to kiss her fingers.

"I know… I'm—"

My raised eyebrow and smirk her way made her apology fizzle out midway. Kneeling down a bit, I met her gaze – those eyes slowly growing on me. "Baby, I don't want your apologies, because you have _no damn idea_ how happy I am that I got you back." I shot a quick glance over toward the back door of the house. "Plus, I'm not sure it's your place to be apologizing. I mean that."

"Edward…"

I shook my head. "To know that you asked for me, and they denied you? Bella…" I stood up straight and sighed deeply to control my temper. "They want my trust… _now_. But I don't know just how much I can give them. And no, baby…I don't care that they can hear me."

"We need their help, Edward," she countered, grimacing a little. "Some of them have been through this." She gestured between us. "Carlisle and Esme. Rose and Emmett. They've been here…immortal and human, though Emmett was dying, but still…"

"So was I, Bella-love," I heard from the doorway.

I glanced up to see Esme watching and waiting patiently for us. Of all of the Cullens, she seemed the most sincere, and that included my opinion of the good doctor. Though, I suspected my opinion of him was tainted by his lies. And that was a bit painful, because I really had enjoyed getting to know him at the hospital. Esme, however, reminded me of my own mother – calm, gentle, caring – so I wondered if that made a difference.

Esme walked to us, then reached out to cup Bella's face and smiled up at me. "Listen, I know you're upset with us. I know you're a little overwhelmed at everything, but I promised Bella, and I'll promise you… We _will_ help you. When we realized that you were not only her husband, but her mate, we made the effort to help you figure it out so that no one broke any treaties." She rolled her eyes uncharacteristically back toward the house, and I swear I heard Jake bark out a laugh. "The clues were my idea." She waited until I nodded in acknowledgement before going on. "It was never our intention for any of this to happen, so we tried our best to ease Bella into it."

I sighed deeply as Bella shifted closer to me, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I understand. Truly. But it seems everyone around me knew except for me. Bella is the most important thing in the world to me, so it's hard for me to just accept 'I'm sorry' from the people who not only put her in danger but kept her from me when she needed me." I tried to keep my voice calm, but I failed, sagging a little. "I'll _try_ , Esme."

"That's more than we could ask for, son."

Bella and I followed Esme in through the back door, and I shook my head at the opulence around me. I'd grown up with money, inherited it from my parents and my grandmother when they died, but this was a completely different level of wealth. This was high ceilings and expensive wood floors. Long tables, large sofas, and enormous lit fireplaces gave off the feeling of a hunting lodge more than a home.

The smell of the room was almost too sweet and floral, with the burning-wood scent of the fire added to it. There was a slight feeling of hostility coming from a few of Carlisle's family members. Rosalie and Jasper didn't exactly look welcoming, but Alice and Emmett seemed overly accepting. Jake simply looked tired but tense and at the ready. The only people at ease with the entire situation were Carlisle and Esme.

We took the empty spot on the loveseat, and Carlisle sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he faced us. He smiled sadly my way.

"You're right, son. It's me who should be making the apology, not Bella," he stated sincerely.

I heard a derisive snort from across the room, and I turned my head to see Rosalie rolling her eyes dramatically. From the reactions of everyone else, she was the only one with a problem. Emmett frowned her way, tapping her shoulder a bit. Alice glared hard with darkening eyes. Jasper, however, turned her way and spoke softly enough I couldn't hear him. She waved them all away, and I got the impression that the blonde immortal was all about herself. She came across as cold and standoffish. In fact, I could imagine that the only person who meant anything to her was the reflection in mirror…maybe the big guy whispering in her ear, but he was probably a far second.

Jacob, however, grinned. "Sometimes, sunshine, we have to talk about things other than you. Suck it up." Jake turned to me, ignoring Rose's middle finger. "We all owe the apology, man. All of us were caught up in the chase before we realized Bella was in the path of those assholes. They did exactly what we were trying to stop them from doing, which was hurt someone in the area."

"So you explained already." I glanced back to Carlisle. "I guess what I need to know is…where do we go from here?"

Carlisle nodded and sighed deeply before getting up to pace. "I suppose that's up to the two of you." He stopped and smiled a little my way. "But honestly, the both of you are still in a considerable amount of danger. Victoria is still out there as a threat. We think she's building a newborn army in order to come for us. She blames us all for the deaths of her mate and friend. She blames Bella specifically for surviving when James did not. Her vendetta of a 'mate for a mate' is totally and completely aimed at you, Edward."

Bella growled low, and I gazed down at her, linking our fingers together, before directing my attention back to Carlisle. "She approached me this morning."

"She wouldn't have touched you," Bella muttered low and threatening, shaking her head and looking toward Jacob.

"Hmm, yes, like I told you back at your home, Edward, we've been protecting you since Victoria has made her intentions known. We planned to continue to do so until she's stopped." He stated that last thing with a touch more malice than I was used to hearing from him, but he paced a little more before facing the room again. "Victoria's smart, if not talented, but she won't approach you unless you're alone, which we haven't allowed. Jacob and Bella watch you when you're home. You're with me at the hospital. When you travel to see Charlie, you're guarded there as well." He gestured to Emmett and Jasper, who nodded once.

"Charlie's under the protection of my pack," Jacob added. "Not that she's set sights on him yet, but we're watching over him just to be safe."

"Why?" I asked, shaking my head, and gesturing to the whole room. "Why go to all this trouble?"

Bella's head snapped around to face me. "Because I asked them to, Edward."

"Yes, yes…we owe her," Rosalie finally spoke aloud with a sarcastic drawl. "Not that I understand what all the fuss is about." She turned to Carlisle. "Aren't we going to address the real problem here?" she sneered, pointing my way. "We have a _human_ here who knows exactly what we are, with the Volturi watching us like hawks because of that redheaded demon. All this shit is gonna get us killed because the newbie can't face reality. We should've moved her to Denali the day she woke up. But _no_ , we have to invite the human husband into it all. None of us got to keep our human family. Why should she?"

Bella moved before I could retort. All I could see were flashes of brunette and blonde hair, growling ringing loud in the large room. I stood up, but Jasper stepped in front of me.

"Trust me, Bella can handle herself just fine. She's stronger than Rose right now. In fact, I wouldn't blame her if she ripped an arm off and beat her with it," he stated firmly, aiming that last portion toward the two fighting. "Rose!" he snapped, and all fighting came to an end when Emmett wrenched the two apart. "Christ, I've tried to tell you… He's trustworthy. He's Bella's mate. No one stopped you when you brought Emmett home, so…please, just stop."

A sense of lethargy came over me, making me sit down hard on the edge of the loveseat. Jasper patted my shoulder.

"Sorry about that. Had to calm them down somehow."

The dragging feeling left as quickly as it came, and I nodded, remembering that Jake said Jasper could control emotions. "Impressive," I mumbled, smirking at Jasper's wry smile.

"Well, it comes in handy, I suppose."

"I tried to warn you, Rose," Alice said haughtily; she hadn't even flinched throughout the entire exchange. "One day, he'll be an equal. I've seen it. I'd make peace now." She paused a bit, her head tilting, but her grin was slow and slightly evil. She looked to me. "Looks like you'll be talented, Edward. Another _freak_ in the family."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Emmett groaned. "That's just what we need." He grinned light-heartedly but shrugged a shoulder. "Another talent up in here. We don't even know what Bella is…"

"He would _never_ betray me," Bella warned Rose; the two were still glaring daggers at each other during all of this. "And what hypocritical bullshit, Rosalie! You killed all the humans you knew, so why don't you go preach your sanctimonious fuckery somewhere else!"

"Bella," I huffed through a shocked laugh, shaking my head a little. I wasn't sure the last time I'd seen my wife that mad, much less use that harsh of language. "Sweetheart, c'mere."

Bella walked to me, her eyes barely breaking from Rose, who had Emmett to sooth her. When my wife was in front of me, I cupped her beautiful pouting face. "She doesn't know me, baby. That's all. She doesn't understand I'd do anything for you. She doesn't know that none of this makes a difference to me." I shrugged a shoulder. I didn't care who was listening, because my temper spurred hers, and she apparently could cause way more damage than I could. "I'm not here to expose anyone or anything. I'm here for _you_."

"It won't matter if you expose us!" Rose snapped. "You just knowing could get us killed."

"Then _you_ go away, go to Denali or wherever it is you want, but I'm not leaving her," I stated firmly, meeting her black gaze as she stared at me with disdain. "I've found out what life is like without her, and it's a half life, so do whatever it is you feel you need to do, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. I don't care what it takes, so if you don't like me, then stay away from me." Setting my gaze back on my still very prickly girl, I smiled. "I'm okay, and so are you. We'll come up with a way to keep everyone safe, not just the ones who are worried about their own necks. Hmm?"

Bella nodded, her gaze only on me. "I can't let anything happen to you. I can't let Victoria hurt you. You have no idea how much power, how much strength… It wouldn't take much, Edward."

"If you say so, then I believe you. We just have to be careful, Bella. That's all." I said all that gently as I tugged her to the cushion beside mine. She sat next to me, giving Rose one last glare, only this time it was an I-told-you-so type of expression.

Esme finally spoke when Rose opened her mouth. "Rosalie, if you can't act civilized, then please just go. I won't have it. There is enough going on that's aimed our way, so I won't have it inside my house."

Rose spun on her heel, walking heavy-footed out of the room. The front door slammed hard behind her. Emmett sighed deeply, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "For what it's worth? She doesn't mean it, really. She…doesn't take to change very well. Honestly, she's just worried, but it doesn't come out right. Anyway…good to meet you, Edward. I'm actually glad it worked out the way it did. Bella was havin' an awful hard time adjusting. You calm her better than we do, so I'm all for havin' a human around. Let me know if you need us. Rose'll cool down in a few."

With that said, he followed Rose out the front door. The sound of an engine starting in the driveway met my ears, but I turned to Carlisle when he sat down in front of us.

"For all of Rose's faults, she's completely loyal to this family, Edward."

"She really is all bark," Jake added with a laugh.

Carlisle ignored his jibe and pointed to the rest of his family. "I trust them with my life. I'm willing to trust them with yours…and Bella's." When I nodded in agreement, he went on. "Son, we can continue like we were, only this time, you'll be aware that you're under protection. You can continue your work at the hospital with me, and we'll still keep up the pretenses everywhere else. My biggest concern is that Bella's still learning, still adjusting to this life. She has to maintain a rigid hunting schedule, which she's been following well. She's extraordinarily strong, so she's relearning how to slow down, move with precision and gentleness. She's occasionally overwhelmed with senses that are more intense than they were when she was human. Sight, sound, scent… They're all way stronger, and it can become too much. It's best if she stays close to the woods so she can hunt when needed. Her emotional well-being will most likely improve with you in the picture."

I smiled when Bella nodded. "I missed you, too, sweetheart."

She curled into me on that loveseat, and I relished the ability to wrap my arm around her. Pressing my lips to the crown of her head, I asked, "So she needs to stay here?"

"I'd prefer it, but I know keeping you apart would be difficult. You're welcome here anytime. We have plenty of room. I can make arrangements where you and I can work close to the same shifts. I have that pull, you know."

Chuckling, I nodded, but I pressed my nose to my wife's hair, whispering, "Sweetheart, what do you want to do? Tell me what you need." When she sat up, I reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear out of pure habit, and she closed her eyes at the feel of it. I'd do whatever she wanted, be her biggest support if she needed it, or she could take time to learn from them. I just couldn't be away from her again. "Look at me, beautiful," I whispered, smiling when those strange, dark eyes opened. "If you need time, you can have it. If you want me to visit, I will all the time, as much as you wish. You tell me what you need. I just…I can't be without you. Even if you go someplace to adjust, I only ask that you stay in touch. My lips are sealed when it comes to all of this. Who would I tell? Roxy? Charlie? I go to work, I come home, and that's the extent of it. If keeping secrets means I get to keep you, then I'm okay. So…"

"You can't stay here all the time. You have to take care of Steve," she started, fidgeting a bit next to me. She glanced down at her hands, at her wedding rings specifically.

"Yes, that's true. Though, I'm beginning to think he's smart enough to drive and get a job."

Bella giggled, nodding a little. That sound lightened the room significantly, and Jasper smirked my way. Alice, though, sat forward her eyes glazing over.

"Ah, hell, Alice. What?" Bella sighed wearily.

"Shh!" she hushed her, holding up a single finger. "Gimme a second…"

Bella rolled her eyes up to mine. "You have to maintain a façade now, Edward. You have to pretend you know nothing. No one can see me come into our house or see me leaving. I'm dead to the world. There are rules to follow. I can't go out in sunlight. And it's not like Dracula; I won't burst into flames. I just…"

Jacob snorted. "They look like disco balls in the sun, dude. It's so weird. But it's their skin. It hardens into something like a diamond-hard substance. And it…it…glitters."

"Okay," I said, dragging it out a little, but then I looked to Bella again. "I can keep going the way I was, baby. I promise." I figured not much would change except that Bella could sneak in our house when no one was looking. I'd stay here with her when she needed me.

Alice gasped. "We can't separate you again. It doesn't work out very well." She shook her head, looking sadly my way. "No, no…can't do that." She looked to Carlisle. "Bella's fine if she's hunted well. She could essentially go home with him, like she has been, but without hiding in the empty house behind theirs. But she still needs to work with Emmett and Jasper…and you. No Denali. Nope. We lose them both. It doesn't work. Victoria will play one against the other."

Everyone went quiet for a moment, but Alice was still hazy eyes and worried expression. It was Jasper who explained what she was doing.

"Alice sees decided futures," he started, raising his eyebrows a little, and I nodded in understanding when Alice's eyes slipped closed. "Some visions can be countered if she makes her own decision, something different. Sometimes it's subtle; sometimes it's huge. She plays out different scenarios to see every single possibility. So if she sees that if we separate you and something tragic happens, she'll add different players into the game. She'll make the decision to keep you two together, with all of us watching out, and that usually results in another vision." He smiled a little. "Honestly, it's her vision that allowed you here. She saw that if you knew about us, about Bella, that you'd accept things just fine. She sees all of us as a family eventually. She told Bella and Esme where and when to leave the clues for you."

Alice opened her eyes to mine, and I wanted to thank her, but she beat me to it. "You're welcome."

Chuckling a little, I nodded and gazed down at Bella, who seemed to be completely content and at ease with my arm around her. Her head was on my chest, her eyes closed, and it seemed she was just soaking in my presence. If Alice saw us all as a family, then that meant that I became one of them, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that…until I realized that it meant I would never lose Bella again. However, the reality of that was I would "die" in the eyes of everyone I knew. I would have to hide like Bella now did, have to live on a diet of animal blood. And my medical career would be put on hold, if not shelved completely.

Glancing over at Carlisle, I wondered how he did it, how he worked day in and day out around humans and blood. Jake had said blood caused them to go crazy, but so far, none of the vampires around me – my wife included – seemed to be uncomfortable. She'd said the "burn wasn't that bad."

"Okay," Alice piped up, standing in front of us. "Edward, you absolutely have to keep to your schedule for now. So home, work, home. You come here on your days off. Bella, you'll keep watch with one of us nearby when he's home, but you'll hunt daily, no excuses. When you leave him, one of us will stay. If Jake helps, then my visions get all fuzzy." She waved a hand around her head like she was swatting at flies. "Though, even if the pack is involved, I see an okay future. Carlisle, he'll be with you at the hospital. Your morning runs are over, buddy!" she said forcefully, pointing at me. "Get a treadmill or something."

Grinning, I said, "I have one. I'll have to get it out of storage."

"I don't care what you do. Just no more running in the woods like this morning. That was too close."

"Yes, ma'am."

Bella sat up. "What about Victoria?"

"She's yet to make a tangible decision," Alice said angrily. "She's pissing me off is what she's doing."

"Man, oh man," Jake sighed, shaking his head. "Boy, would I love to get her back on the Forks/La Push turf. That would make it so much easier to finish what we started."

"I agree, but until she makes a solid decision as to how she plans to come at us, then I can't say for sure exactly when or where it all takes place," Alice replied, putting her hands on her hips.

"What if we decided to move Edward and Bella to our house in Forks, darlin'?" Jasper asked carefully. "We make a show of moving Edward. You know she's either watching or _has someone_ watching. Otherwise, she wouldn't have known where he'd be this morning. She's tracked Bella to their house, followed him to the hospital. She knows where we all are, which was how she was able to approach him on the trail this morning. Bella and Jake were close but not close enough to be seen. Now…they can be by his side. Now…we could move him to Forks to draw her out."

"You're not using him as bait!" Bella growled at Jasper. "That's stupid and dangerous."

"You're bait, too, Bella."

"Yes, but she'll have a helluva lot harder time hurting me. She could break his neck with a flick of her wrist."

"That's true, but he'd never be alone."

"What if…" I started, grimacing when everyone turned my way. "What if we let her only think I'm alone? No show of moving me. No show of anyone around me. If she thinks I've been left unprotected, then she'll try again like this morning."

"Edward…baby, _no_." Bella's pleading was as close to crying as she could get. She shook her head profusely.

"Hey, hey," I soothed her, reaching over to trail the backs of my fingers across her smooth cheek. "I didn't say I'd _be_ alone, just that my protection is clearly hidden."

"It's definitely something to consider," Carlisle interjected. "The vampire senses are keen, Edward. Keeping us hidden from her would be a difficult task. And the wolves are potent to our kind, so she'd sense them immediately." He sighed, rubbing his face a bit. "I'm with Jacob on this one. I'd really like to draw her away from Seattle and into the woods of Forks. It's easier, a larger space to fight. Plus, I honestly think she's building an army of newborns, and if that's the case, then drawing her away from the city would put an end to the killing."

"We could lead her here," Jacob suggested. "I mean, it's not home-field advantage, but those woods out there go all the way north up to Canada and south down to Portland. That's a lot of room to take care of business."

"Plus, it keeps the fight away from Charlie," I added, shrugging a shoulder. "No need to put him in danger."

Cool lips pressed to my temple, and Bella whispered, "Thank you."

"And you can continue to work," Carlisle added. "So…you'll split your time between this house and your own. She'll only see what we allow her to see. Jake, how many of your pack are willing to patrol the woods?"

Jacob shrugged but sat forward. "I can leave some of the younger members on the reservation to protect my people. The rest could come this way, so five or six, depending on Leah, if she wants to stay behind or protect the leeches she hates so much," he said, winking at Bella. "She loves you, but she hates what you are, so I'll give her the choice."

"Fine," I sighed wearily, standing up and offering Bella my hand. "Tonight, I'm going home."

"You're welcome to stay here anytime, Edward," Esme offered.

Smiling her way, I nodded. "I appreciate that, and from the sound of it, I'm sure I'll be taking you up on that offer, but not tonight. I've spent over two months thinking my wife is gone, so I'd like to take the opportunity to talk to her. Alone."

Bella's hand turned my face toward hers. "Hey, I'll meet you there. I need to hunt before we catch up. Okay?"

"Okay." Leaning in, I pressed my lips to the middle of her forehead. I noted the difference, but it didn't seem to bother me. "Then I'll see you at home, sweetheart." The simplicity of that statement was almost knee-buckling, because I had thought I'd never say those words again.

"I'll ride with you," Jacob said, getting up from his chair. "My car is a few streets away from your house."

"Fair enough," I told him, giving Bella one more glance. She looked like she was nervous and happy and worried all at the same time, but we'd address all of that when we were alone.

When I started for the door, Carlisle stopped me. "Edward, I'd… On a personal note, I'd like to apologize for deceiving you at the hospital. I hope you can understand my reasons."

"I can," I stated with a nod, glancing toward my wife. "I've never been able to tell her no either."

He chuckled. "Yes, I can understand why."

"Hey!" Bella called out, sounding falsely affronted, which caused everyone to laugh. "Home, Edward. See you 'round?"

Grinning and nodding, I shot her a wink, elated for the opportunity to spend time with her. "Yes, ma'am."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… For those of you that think Edward has earned and should keep his anger toward the Cullens, I agree wholeheartedly. However, there are bigger fish to fry, things that need more attention. Trust, though…that's something that has to be earned back.**

 **As for** _ **Six**_ **, I hope to have the next chapter finished soon. I've been working about 50 hours a week since before Christmas, so just bear with me. It's Edward's turn, and he's a chatty thing, but I can't keep up. LOL So it's coming. Promise.**

 **Okay…until next week… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	8. Together Again

**A/N… Okay…I'll let you just get to it. See me at the bottom…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 8 – Together Again**

 _So many fears were swimming around and around in my mind  
Who would have dreamed the secrets we would find_

 _I've found a world where love and dreams and darkness all collide_  
 _Maybe this time we can leave our broken world behind_

 _We'll be together again_  
 _All just a dream in the end_

" _Together Again" by Evanescence_

 **EDWARD**

The car was quiet on the way back to the city. Exhausted, Jake opted to close his eyes during the drive. My mind wandered, taking strange paths of thought. I wondered if Bella would beat me home or if she'd sneak in the back door. I wanted to know what she hunted and where she went to do it. I also knew there was a long night ahead, because despite the help offered by the Cullens, the two of us had a lot of things to discuss about what had happened and what we wanted for the future. No matter what the Cullens or Jake said or wanted, no decisions would be made without Bella and me discussing it first.

As I drew closer to my neighborhood, I tapped Jake. "Hey, where's your car?"

"The street behind yours, in front of that empty house. You know, the one on the other side of your fence. I'm on watch tonight from there."

I snorted softy, shaking my head. "Damn, you two were really that close the whole time?"

He grimaced and then shrugged a shoulder. "Sometimes we were. Sometimes it was Jasper and Emmett." He wrinkled his nose a little. "She couldn't stay away from you, Edward. We warned her it would be hard, that she wasn't quite in control, but she wouldn't have a bit of it. She kept saying it wasn't fair, that you wouldn't have left her, so why would she do it?" He sat up as we got closer to my house. "Be careful, man. She's super strong, but you saw how all over the place she is. Just take your time and be careful. I'm not far if something goes wrong, okay?"

I grinned, nodding. "Fine, Jake. I get it." I pointed to a drive-thru, and he nodded. "There's nothing at the house to eat, so I might as well grab something now," I explained.

We were pulling back into my driveway in minutes, and I shut off the car, staring at my home silently.

"She's not here yet," Jake stated before shoving a bunch of fries into his mouth.

Chuckling, I nodded and got out of the car. Once inside, I fed Steve, and Jake and I ate at the kitchen counter. Steve decided to join us, cleaning himself up in the spare bar stool.

"Okay, so… What's with Rosalie?" I asked, grimacing at the memory of my wife and the blonde vampire going toe to toe.

Jacob barked out a laugh, shaking his head. "Pleasant, right?" He rolled his eyes. "She's kind of a bitter bitch. And I mean that as… I've heard the story about how she was changed into a bloodsucker, and it's pretty harsh. Attacked, beaten, raped by the asshole who was supposed to marry her. He cornered her with his buddies, and they were all trashed. It was Carlisle who found her in an alleyway." He held up one finger as he drank from his soda. " _But_ … Don't feel sorry for her. Bella wasn't lying when she said Rose killed everyone she knew as a human. She waited just long enough until the investigation was over and just long enough until she wasn't a feral newborn vamp. She stalked, terrorized, and killed every man who touched her that night, and she didn't let a drop of that blood cross her lips."

My eyebrows shot up at the story, but he went on.

"She's…um… She's loyal to Carlisle to a fault, even though she claims she hates what she is. A few years later, Emmett had been attacked by a bear, and she knew he was her mate, so she brought him to Carlisle for help. She's angry and loves a good argument, but she's one of them. Rose will fight for you, in spite of her frigid personality."

"You _have_ changed your mind about them," I pointed out almost as a taunt but truthfully, too.

He shrugged a shoulder. "It's their presence that sets off the change in my pack. When they were in Forks, they were there for three years, and in that time four or five of us started to change into the wolf. It's a wretched process at first, so yeah, it was easy to hate them. Then those nomads came through, and we were working together as best we could. All that shit changed when it came to Bella…" He shook his head slowly, wiping his face with a napkin. "They knew _of her_ , but I was her friend, so I lost my mind and put my foot down. She had to stay. Technically, she was the responsibility of the pack _and_ the Cullens. We'd caused it, so we had to work together."

"Personally, I think it's good for you," we heard from the door of the den.

Grinning Bella's way, I took in the sight of her. Seeing her in our home again was a touch overwhelming, but she was leaning against the doorjamb watching the two of us. Steve uncurled himself from the chair and dropped down to the floor to walk to her. He sat down at her feet, wrapping his tail around himself. She squatted down slowly to love on him. He was twitchy with her at first but then closed his eyes and purred.

"Whatever, Bella," Jake countered, getting up to toss his wrappers in the garbage. "I can play well with others when I try."

She snorted, rolling her eyes up at him. "Get out of my house."

Jacob laughed, nodding a little, but he looked my way. "This… I'm glad this worked out for you guys. I'm not far." He pointed toward the back door. "However, I'll be going back to La Push once you're at work tomorrow, to check in and to see which members of my pack are coming back to the Cullens to patrol the woods."

"Thanks, Jake," both Bella and I said at the same time.

"Sure, sure."

Once the back door closed behind him, Bella and I locked eyes.

I was just about to tell her how much I missed having her home, but her demand was sudden and adorable.

"Play for me," she whispered, her chin trembling. "You haven't touched the piano in ages."

I shook my head in agreement. She was right. The only time I'd gone near the instrument was to unpack the den and uncover it. I'd found her note, but I didn't have the heart to play. However, now I couldn't deny her. In fact, my whole soul felt lighter and freer with the knowledge that she was still alive – no matter what definition one used.

"For you, sweetheart? I'd gladly play," I told her, offering her my hand. "But only if you sit with me."

Her smile and giggle were beautiful as always, and her hand slid into mine perfectly. I led us into the den, gazing around a little. This was the way it should've been once we'd moved into our house. And I was going to make damn sure that I soaked up every second.

"We still have some talking to do, baby," I whispered against her temple as I settled her down onto the piano bench.

"I know, Edward. And we will. But I've missed this. You. The sound of your music."

I settled down beside her, glancing over at her. "Requests?"

Grinning, she shook her head. "Nope."

As I studied her face, endless songs and composers ran through my mind – Beethoven, Chopin, Debussey. I even considered something I'd written for her, but in the end, I put my hands on the keys with a specific mood in mind. _Liebesleid_ by Kreisler seemed to fit. The title alone meant "Love's Sorrow."

I wasn't sure who relaxed quicker, Bella or me. But the moment I started to play, a sense of calm washed over the room. Bella let out a long, deep breath, and my fingers played with ease. It was a complicated piece, but I'd needed it. I needed something to wake me up, to bring me back to who I'd been before I thought I'd lost the beautiful girl by my side, the one watching my fingers with a new fascination.

When the song was over, I chuckled a little at her wide eyes. "What, sweetheart?"

She stood suddenly, her hand splaying flat on the lid of the piano and her eyes locking on mine. "Play something else, Edward. I can hear _everything_." She grinned with a childlike excitement. "I hear your heart match the tempo, the…the…things inside pounding the strings, the pedals pressing, the build, the sadness… I hear everything. I can even hear your fingertips touching the keys."

"Well, that's different," I teased her, giving her a wink when her head spun my way. "Fast or slow?"

"Don't care."

For the next several minutes, she drank in everything as I gave her bits and pieces of all sorts of songs – classical, contemporary, and my own. It was the latter that stopped us, because I'd written a song at the beginning of our relationship, and it seemed to sum up just how much I'd fallen for the beautiful girl in the UW campus library. I'd dubbed it a lullaby back then, but it was more than that; it was the shy, perfect start to just _us._ I played that one through completely, my gaze locked on to my hands, which hadn't yet left the keys. My shoulders hunched a bit, and my brow furrowed as I tried not for the first time that day to wrap my head around the fact that I had my girl back. Tears stung my eyes as I began to wonder if I was dreaming, lucky, or even if all this was in my head and I'd completely succumbed to the grief.

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind, and Bella's body molded to my back. "I'm sorry," she whispered against my shoulder.

Sitting up when she stepped back, I turned around on the piano bench, smirking when she realized she'd apologized again when I'd asked her to stop. She shifted nervously on her feet in front of me.

"I can smell your tears," she stated, her nose wrinkling at how strange that sounded. "I hate that smell; it's salty and almost acidic. It hurts me." She shrugged a shoulder and rubbed a spot over her sternum. "I could smell them when you were asleep, when you would call for me. I could hear _that_ all the way next door." She pointed toward the back door. "So I'd come to you, talk to you, hoping like hell it would soothe you."

"C'mere," I whispered, offering her my hand. When she slipped hers slowly into mine, I tugged her a little to stand between my legs. Reaching up, I trailed my fingers along her cheek. "I'm sure I should thank you. My dreams were…"

"Ugly," she finished for me, and I nodded. "At first, when the Cullens were merely placating me by letting me see you, I'd think to myself… 'This is the last time. He should move on.' But I'd always come back." Her brow furrowed as she cupped my face in her hands. "I love you too much, Edward," she said through a defeated-sounding sigh, smiling when I turned my head to kiss the inside of her wrist. "When we realized Victoria had figured out who you were to me, I knew I had to protect you, so…"

She trailed off, and I waited patiently to see if this was like before, where she was all over the place, but she remained quiet for longer than I expected. However, like before, her next statement came from nowhere.

"What do we do, baby?" she whispered, her bottom lip trembling. "Do you honestly want this as your future? No kids, no more daylight, no more growing old in this house. Hell, no more growing old at all if that's what we choose."

"I think that's the key, Bella," I said with a nod. "What _we_ choose."

"Me, too."

"I know I want to always be with you."

"Me, too."

"I know there's a lot I need to learn about it all."

She snorted, rolling those beautiful eyes that seemed a touch lighter since the Cullen home. "Me, too."

Grinning, I wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her close. "Well, maybe we can learn together?" I suggested, tilting my head a little. "You know, so when we decide about the future, we'll be prepared."

"I want that."

"Me, too." I smiled at the conversation that took on our usual rhythm.

I lost myself in the sight of her face, those eyes that seemed to darken just a bit in the last few minutes. That was a new thing; the color of her eyes seemed to change with her mood.

"Your eyes," she said so very softly, trailing a finger beneath them. "I thought the green was so pretty before, but _now…_ " She huffed a sweet laugh as she shook her head. "I can see so many more colors besides the green – gold, brown, even blue. They're beautiful, especially with those long eyelashes."

The way she was looking at me brought back so many memories. I could still read her, in spite of her changes. I knew when my girl wanted to be kissed, but I was still remembering Alice's warnings from back at the Cullen home.

I took a deep breath and let it out, swallowing thickly. "Bella, I… If you don't stop looking at me that way, we're in so much trouble."

She grinned, and it was a little mischievous and a whole lot sexy. She leaned into me, and I couldn't stop my hands. It was such a natural habit to touch my wife. Up her thighs, along her sides, and around to her back, I waited patiently for her to break that gaze, but she didn't, and it seemed like she was testing herself.

"Bella—" I started, but she let out a sound I'd never heard before – it sounded close to a purr or a growl…or maybe both combined.

"Edward, don't move." Her tone was no nonsense yet pleading at the same time.

My hands came to a standstill, and I wanted to laugh that they happened to have stopped on her sweet bottom, something I'd always loved to touch. I could feel the difference in her body right then. She was firmer, muscular, almost too hard, but my hands stayed still.

"I want to try," she whispered, and it was barely audible. "I've missed you so much. I thought you'd hate this…that you'd be better without me, but… I want to kiss you; I _need_ to try."

I gritted my teeth in order to not just give into what she wanted, which was how things used to work, but that wasn't the case now. Things had changed, _she_ had changed – literally – so we had some relearning to do.

"Okay, so tell me what you need me to do, sweetheart."

"Stay still."

"Okay."

"Don't move," she breathed, dropping her forehead lightly to mine. Both hands came up to frame either side of my face as she swallowed thickly. "I… There's a burn, but it's nothing. There's a part of me that just wants…" She trailed off as her eyes closed and her nostrils flared a little, like she was trying to get herself under control. When those eyes opened again, they were pitch black. "I want to take, to claim what's mine, Edward. It's so strange."

"Talk it through, my Bella," I stated calmly. "You say you're too strong, so go slow. Focus."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I'll tell you if you do."

"I could lose it so easily."

"Slow, Bella."

She nodded against me, closing those eyes again, and she leaned in to press her lips to mine with the ghost of a touch. For a moment, it really was about helping her to control her strength. However, everyone's warnings came to mind, including Bella's own.

This kiss was different than any kiss before it. Whereas before, it was me who had to control urges and strength and wants and needs, now it was Bella. There was a frightening amount of strength humming beneath the surface of her hard skin. Her body shook with her attempt to control it.

Her smell, her taste, and her sounds were getting to me. They made me want more and more and more. I forced myself to stay completely still, but it was for nothing when her lips became urgent and needy. What started as slow and gentle – top lips, bottom lips, in the middle – all went out the window when it was Bella who moved. She shifted quickly, climbing astride my lap on the piano bench, and suddenly we were kissing in a way that I'd thought I'd never have again.

I lost myself for several seconds, pulling her flush to me, turning my head, and threading my fingers into her hair. When a sound escaped me that I couldn't stop as tongues touched and tasted, Bella was off me and across the room before I could take the next breath. The sound of her hitting the wall was a muted thump.

She was panting, but so was I. Licking my lips, I shook my head.

"I'm sorry," we both said at the same time, which made us start to chuckle.

I rubbed my face, still laughing a little. "Wow, Bella."

She huffed out a breathless laugh. "No shit." When I pulled my hands away to see her, she was nervously fidgeting but hadn't left the wall where she'd stopped. "Edward, I… I have to be so careful with you."

She stepped away from the wall, pointing to the slight damage she'd caused. There was a bit of a dent in the drywall, a barely there crack. Luckily, it was the same wall at which I'd thrown my CDs, so it didn't matter much. It needed to be repaired at this point.

Bella glanced around the room, seemingly searching for something. When she found an old vase – honestly, I couldn't remember where we'd gotten it – she picked it up and locked gazes with me.

Without a bit of effort, that vase was instantly crushed into a sparkling glass powder. And when she held up her hands, there wasn't a scratch on her.

"I hate it, Edward."

"You shouldn't."

"I'm not normal."

"But you're mine," I countered, shrugging a shoulder as I stood up. "Physical and diet changes don't mean a damn thing to me, Bella. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm okay with starting over in some aspects." I sighed deeply, shoving my hands deep into my pockets to keep from kissing her again. "Jesus, sweetheart, I thought you were _dead_! Shit, I'd have been happy if your calls were ghostly."

Bella laughed, finally relaxing, but she walked to me, and I welcomed her with open arms.

Kissing the top of her head, I whispered, "I'll take anything… _Anything,_ Bella, as long as you're still here."

 **~o~EID~o~**

"You should sleep, you know," Bella whispered, reaching over to rake her fingers through my hair.

The room was in darkness, except for the moonlight and streetlamps shining through the window. If I thought Bella was beautiful before, then I was sorely mistaken. Even in the strange shadows that hung in the room, she looked unreal and ethereal, an angel or tempting demon, and I wasn't sure I cared which one she was, because she felt real and tangible beneath the touch of my fingers.

We'd carried our conversation to our bedroom after we'd cleaned up the destroyed vase in the den. All I'd wanted was to hold her, and I was truly afraid to shut my eyes, for fear she wouldn't be there when the alarm went off in the morning.

I nodded but didn't say anything, but she knew me better than that.

Her smile was sad, sweet, and slightly heartbroken. "I'll still be here when you wake up, Edward. I promise."

A part of me believed her, but the still-bruised and battered part of my soul wasn't so sure. We were on our sides, face-to-face, and I reached out to wrap an arm around her waist to pull her to me. The change was noticeable. Where she used to be soft in certain places, she was firmer, almost hard. The warmth of her was gone, but her sweet scent was the same, if not more intense. Or maybe I'd just missed it too much.

"Edward, please," she begged in a whisper, her eyes dark but pleading.

"I… I just got you back, Bella," I argued, my voice cracking a little when I reached up to trail my fingers along her cheek. "I don't want this to end. What if…"

I tried my damnedest to swallow down all the emotions I was feeling all at once – fear, elation, sadness. The latter had to have been residual grief, but accepting that this was a new reality wasn't exactly as simple as I would've thought. I lost my wife, but I got her back just as I was trying to accept that horrendous loss. It was a strange and dreamy feeling. I couldn't wrap my head around any of it.

Her lips met mine – almost harshly. "Shh…" she breathed against my mouth. "I swear to you, baby. I'll be here when you wake up. I'm very much real, and I'm very sorry you doubt that, Edward, but as long as you want me here, I'm here."

I nodded, but I fought sleep, even though I was exhausted from the shocking events of the day.

"I love you," I told her, wanting her to truly know that if I was dreaming up my wife in our bed again. "I always will, my Bella. Nothing could change that."

Her gorgeous face softened, her eyes a bit lighter. She tangled her legs with mine, pressing soft kisses to my forehead and eyelids. However, it was her fingers raking gently through my hair that was doing me in. My heavy eyelids were getting harder and harder to keep open, and eventually, darkness took me.

When the alarm on my phone sounded loudly what seemed like minutes later, I sat up straight, wild-eyed and frantic.

"Hey, hey," Bella soothed, cupping my face and making me look at her. "You're okay."

I collapsed back onto my pillows, nodding and rubbing my face. But I couldn't help but smile when her body loomed over mine, with her hair creating a curtain around our faces.

"Morning," I sighed, gazing up at the miracle smirking down at me.

Carefully, she leaned in and kissed my forehead and then my lips. "Get your handsome ass up. I made you breakfast before you have to leave for the hospital. You're carpooling with Carlisle."

Snorting at that whole thing she'd just rattled off at me, I kissed her again and sat up. "Right…no morning run. Got it."

She frowned, reaching over to pet Steve, who was happily spinning circles in front of her for her attention. "It's for your safety, Edward. I'll get with Emmett today, see if he can get your old treadmill out of storage. I can't go, but he can take the key. Okay?"

Chuckling, I cupped her face with one hand. "I wasn't complaining, sweetheart."

Her smile was small and sweet, but she nodded, pointing toward the bathroom. "Go shower, and I'll make you a cup of coffee."

This feeling of completely _normal_ was a little surreal. I'd missed it so much. The routine of getting up, running, breakfast, coffee, and mumbling conversation had been an everyday thing for years – even when we were still at UW. The loss of it for well over two months had wrecked me. It was the simplest shit I'd missed most when I'd thought she was gone.

My shower was welcomed and needed. I'd only slept a handful of hours, and my day at the hospital would be long. When I stepped out, drying off, I caught sight of the foggy bathroom mirror.

 _Edward, I love you more than you'll ever know. XOXO, Bella_

The notes were back. And my whole being shook at the fact that I would never be without them again.

That thought, though, brought reality with it. Bella and I needed to discuss every option we had when it came to what she was, what I _could be_. I realized that my only source of information would be Carlisle, that we all needed to sit down and talk about what we wanted.

I wasn't sure I was ready, but I knew for a fact that living without Bella wasn't an option. Neither was growing old while she stayed the beautiful, youthful thing she was.

Once I was dressed and sitting at the counter, I couldn't keep my gaze off Bella as she puttered around the kitchen. She was moving carefully and deliberately, making sure to watch her strength.

"Carlisle's here," she said, even though I'd heard nothing, and I turned to look out the front window to see the sleek, black Mercedes turning into the driveway just then. She smiled at me, walking around to stand in front of me. "I'll be home when you get here. I promise."

"What are you doing today?" I asked her, reveling in the fussing she was doing over my tie, collar, and hair.

"I need to hunt. And I'll need to get with Jasper and Emmett about the storage unit. Text or call me anytime you want, baby, if you need."

Nodding, I sighed and leaned in to kiss her forehead and inhale deeply the scent I loved so much. "So…I'll see you 'round?" I asked, smiling when she giggled at the old phrase we'd always used.

"Oh, yeah, Edward, I'll see you 'round." Her lips met mine, and before I could lose myself in her, she pulled away. "I need to hunt. Sorry." Her fingers were at her throat.

"Don't be, sweetheart. We're gonna get through this, you know."

She nodded, looking worried, but pointed to the window. "Go, before Carlisle thinks I've run away with you."

Grinning, I nodded, grabbing my coat from the hook at the door. "Maybe you will someday, Bella."

Her giggle and smile were the best thing, and I needed them before I left the house.

"Maybe, Edward."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… So…I'm a huge sucker for that very first kiss in the original book/movie. Writing that in this switched situation was so much** _ **fun**_ **! LOL Anyway, so our beloved couple is kinda, sorta figuring shit out. Edward still hasn't quite grasped the reality of having his girl back. But that's okay…he will.**

 **There is still a lot to come… Someone had asked before if we'd ever hear Bella's side of things, and up to a point I'd said no,** _ **but**_ **I lied, or spoke too soon or some shit. We will eventually get Bella's voice, but it won't be for a bit. Just hang in there for that.**

 **Where canon Cullen dynamics would place Edward and Bella in the house, with no privacy and constantly surrounded, I couldn't see this happening, which is why I took them home. I think – and this is probably experience talking – that the better conversations between husband and wife are always going to be better/more honest/more emotional in private. And I think with these two in particular, it's always going to be that way.**

 **Okay…so I think that's it for now. Until next week… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	9. Catastrophe, It Reigns

**A/N… We pick up right where the last chapter left off, with Carlisle and Edward carpooling to work. I'll let you get to it. See me at the bottom…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 9 – Catastrophe, It Reigns**

 _When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears  
It was easy to see that you'd been crying  
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns  
But who really profits from the dying  
I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you forever  
I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you in my arms forever_

" _Hold You In My Arms" by Ray Lamontagne_

 **EDWARD**

My eyes were on my house as Carlisle backed out of my driveway. I wasn't sure I needed to be driven into work. I'd been going in on my own without any problems, and that was prior to knowing I was being followed by good and bad vampires.

Snorting softly to myself, I let out a sigh when I caught one last glimpse of my wife in the front window, and then she vanished.

"I won't be your taxi every day," Carlisle stated, seemingly reading my mind, but he smirked at my soft laugh. "Bella kind of thought we could talk privately in the car."

"Hmm," I hummed noncommittally but nodded and stayed quiet as we made our way out of my neighborhood, because even though Carlisle was the only source of information I had, I was still a little prickly about being deceived by him at the hospital.

He'd taken the position at HMC _specifically_ to watch over me, and I knew it was at Bella's request, but despite how I understood it, I felt a little out of sorts about the things I'd told him when I thought my wife was dead.

"You know, son," he started softly, not taking his eyes from the road. "Everything you told me in my office has stayed between the two of us. I can't apologize enough. It was difficult watching you both struggle." He shook his head a little. "I realize I have to earn your trust back, but please understand the position I was in. I had a newly transformed vampire in my home begging me to keep her human husband safe, and I had that same human breaking in two every day." He paused a moment. "It's rare, you know."

"What's rare?"

He grinned. "It's rare that a human couple is so perfectly matched that they're immortal mates at the same time. I'm not sure it's ever happened." He shrugged a shoulder. "Or at the very least, I've never witnessed it. Over the centuries, I can imagine there have been others."

Unable to stop my curiosity, I asked, "What does it mean for us? The mate thing?"

He smiled softly, glancing over my way. "It means you are made for each other, and it sounds like you were before, as well. But you're Bella's other half, her perfect immortal partner, if that's what you choose to be."

"Choose… Sounds like my options are pretty slim, Carlisle," I stated, but it wasn't bitter, simply a statement. "I can't _be_ without her. And I can't put her through my growing old. So…what do I have left?"

Carlisle sighed deeply, his brow furrowing a little as he thought it over. "I understand how you can see it that way. It's not an easy life, Edward. It's ever so much more with a mate, but the life itself isn't simple." He tapped the steering wheel with his fingers for a few irregular beats but went on. "It's constant moving. It's sometimes months of dark nights, and it's long and boring. It's grim, too, especially if someone slips up."

"Oh."

His smile was sad. "It happens. It isn't easy to fight instinct. My entire family works very hard to keep to the diet we've chosen. However, there are only two of us who have never killed a human for sustenance. Rosalie and myself. The others have had their mistakes they have to live eternity with, but they do their best to keep going."

My eyebrows shot up, because we were talking about the taking of a human life without batting an eye, but it seemed to be the facts and something I needed to come to terms with soon. My wife could very well slip up, have an out-of-control moment, and I needed to prepare myself for the aftermath of that.

As if reading my mind again, he added, "Bella is an anomaly, a rare talent, I think. I'm pretty sure she's a shield, which has allowed her to block the scent that would normally send someone as new to this life as her into an uncontrollable frenzy. She's been able to push through things it takes a normal newborn months or years to conquer. Which was another reason letting you in on things was necessary, because Bella needs you – human or not. She was always calmer when she could set eyes on you, and that helped her way more than hunting ever did."

I smiled at that but stayed quiet as he navigated the parking garage of the hospital. Finally, I asked the one question that had been plaguing me concerning my immortality, if that was what Bella and I chose.

"I'd have to stop being a doctor, right?"

"I didn't, but…I've had two centuries to acclimate myself to it." He parked in his spot and turned off the engine. "At minimum, son, you'd have to step away from practicing until you were ready, but there's a positive about immortality – you have time. Plenty of it. Too much of it, occasionally. You could essentially reinvent yourself ten, twenty, a hundred years from now."

A light chuckle escaped me at the idea of it. It was hard to wrap my head around that sort of unlimited time.

"Edward, I promise you… No matter what you decide, my family is there for you and Bella. We understand your need for privacy, and that as husband and wife, you're used to sorting things out together, but we will never abandon either of you."

"Victoria—"

"Beyond Victoria, Edward," he interrupted abruptly. "She's bound to make a mistake, and with the help of the wolves, we'll stop her, but I mean beyond all of these sudden changes." He laughed a little. "Alice sees you and Bella as a part of my family, which makes my wife extremely happy."

Shaking my head and smiling, I said, "Esme's great. She reminds me of my own mother."

"She'd be happy to know that, too."

I reached for the car's door, and he stopped me.

"And Edward," he started with another smirk on his face. "As much as I'm pleased to see that spending time with Bella was good for the both of you, you need to remember that here…you are still a recent widower. You have to keep that up. You must for all of our sakes."

That sobered me quickly, and I nodded, trying my best to make my face blank from expression as I stepped out into the garage. He was right; I was ridiculously happy to have Bella back, and with that, I sent her a quick text before I had to focus on my day.

 _I miss you already, sweetheart. It's going to be a long day. ;)_

She sent back hearts and kisses and a selfie of her leaning against a tree. It was that sweet, beautiful face I needed to see before I had to pretend that nothing had changed. I couldn't let anyone know that my whole world was realigned again.

 **~oOo~**

"You think it's unfair, don't you?" Jacob asked as we both left Charlie's house. "Lying to him."

We'd spent the day watching football and gorging ourselves on turkey and all the fixings from Forks Diner. Thanksgiving with three men meant not one of us was going to cook, and I wasn't going to let the man spend that holiday by himself, considering Bella had been the one to prepare every Thanksgiving meal prior.

I stopped by my car door, gazing over the roof at him. I shrugged. "Yes but no. He's a good man, and considering he's been cleaning up messes left by beings he can never know about, it seems wrong that he stays in the dark. However, it's safer that way." I walked to him to speak lower. "Charlie lives with the guilt that he lost his baby girl on his watch. That's… I hate that, because I lived with that same guilt. I still live with it when my wife loses her temper over things she can't control now that she's… _different_. Would all of this have happened had I ridden with her here that day? Would we have both been changed?"

"Or would you both be dead?" Jake countered. He wrinkled his nose a little. "Victoria and her little band of demons were ruthless that day, Edward. Not even exaggerating. And she's worse now, because nothing has slowed her down from her revenge."

Sighing, I nodded and shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. It had been a week or so since I'd found out the truth, since I got Bella back, but Victoria had not slowed down in the least. Carlisle was convinced that she was creating an army of newborn vampires. People were disappearing off the streets of Seattle left and right. And while the news reported it as homeless teens and drugs running rampant, we knew better.

"Who's watching him when we leave?"

"Paul and Embry."

Nodding, I glanced beyond the house and into the woods. A slow, purposeful shift showed two very large, menacing wolves. If I had to compare them to something, I'd say they were the size of bears. The first time I'd seen one, it had been Jake to shift into his wolf form at the Cullen home outside Seattle. It was unnerving, I hadn't really liked seeing the shift, but it had been easier knowing it was Jake.

"I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that," I muttered, smiling when Jacob laughed a little.

"Yet you're already used to Bella…" He trailed off, breaking out into his usual easy grin, when I raised an eyebrow his way.

"She's my wife, Jake. Nothing changed about how I feel about her. If anything, it's stronger," I explained to him, pulling out my phone to check the time. "Speaking of… I need to get on the road. See you at the Cullens' this weekend?"

"Sure, sure. I'll be there with a few of my pack."

I got into my car with a wave to him. We were trying to come up with a plan against Victoria. Or really, _they_ were. I was the fragile human who had to stay protected, considering it was me for whom she was aiming.

The streets were quiet as I drove away from Charlie's neighborhood, eventually pulling over at a cluster of trees. I waited until a car passed me by before saying, "You're all clear, sweetheart," in a normal tone, knowing she could hear me.

The passenger door opened, and my beautiful girl plopped herself into the seat, smiling sadly over at me.

"I love you, Edward. Thank you for taking care of my dad."

I kissed her lips before pulling back out onto the road. "He took care of me, too, Bella."

 **~oOo~**

I parked my car behind Carlisle's Mercedes at the Cullen home. I'd followed him there after our shifts at the hospital, to spend the weekend. True to his word, he'd made sure that my schedule pretty much mirrored his. I didn't always carpool with him like that first day, but I noticed I was never really alone.

Bella was with me at our home most of the time, and even then, I'd notice a shift in the empty house behind us or a moving shadow in the small cluster of trees across the street. There was a part of me that understood why, but then the private part of me just wanted a moment alone with my wife, even though she was nowhere near ready for anything more than kissing. And I had a bruise or two to prove it.

Snorting to myself as I got out of my car, I shook my head at that and rubbed my upper arm. My poor Bella had gotten a little carried away a few nights ago and reached for me too quickly, with too much strength. It had taken a lot of talking to calm her down.

I grabbed my bag from the backseat, glancing up to see Jasper and Alice standing there, both with solemn expressions on their faces.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked, giving the house a look for my Bella.

"Edward," Alice said so softly, stepping closer. "It's just…a bad day."

I looked to Jasper, who I'd come to depend on for assessing Bella's moods. "What happened?"

He wrinkled his nose a little, shrugging a shoulder. "I'm picking up a lot of self-hate, Edward. Some jealousy and sadness, too. I'd say it started this morning when I took her hunting with Rosalie."

My nostrils flared at Rose's name, because we were not exactly friends, even though she tolerated me better now than our first meeting.

"Did they have another fight or something?"

"Not exactly…" he hedged, looking to his wife.

Alice looked sincerely upset as she looked up at me. "You… Your wedding anniversary is soon, yes?" she asked, and when I nodded, she did too. "I think Rose just stated some…some…uncomfortable truths."

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply to get my temper under control. "Is she here?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Rose?" Alice asked.

"Hell no! My wife!"

Jasper chuckled. "Yeah, man. She's upstairs in her room." He stopped me as I started toward the front door. "Rose, however, isn't here. Neither is Emmett. They're actually watching your place. Alice and I are going out for the night. Carlisle and Esme are here if you need anything."

Nodding as I pushed by, I thanked them both, now on edge to see Bella. I walked through the front door, coming face-to-face with Esme.

"Edward, it's good to see you. Bella will be happy to know you're here." I smirked at her tone, which told me she was worried, but she didn't elaborate or warn me like the two outside. She merely patted my shoulder gently, saying, "I've stocked up the kitchen, so if you get hungry, just let me know. Or help yourself to anything. I have it on good authority that I purchased all your favorites."

That made me chuckle. "I'm sure you did great, Esme."

She shot me a wink, again reminding me of my own mother. It was her sweet, wry sense of humor and a warmth that wasn't a façade. It was real and easy and sincere. It didn't me take long to see that Carlisle and Esme truly cared about every single individual under their roof. They praised good deeds and chastised bad ones, and the two doted on the people who needed a little attention. Apparently, today it was my Bella.

"Now, I'm going to be putting my husband to work out in the garden at least until the sun goes down. If you need anything, we'll be outside."

Grinning, I thanked her and made my way upstairs. The home was ridiculously beautiful and enormous. There were five bedrooms, a theater room, and a small indoor heated pool. It was easily a seven-figure home, and I'd have been willing to bet there was no mortgage payment. The Cullens had money. Lots of it. And they surrounded themselves with comforts that their lack of humanity couldn't give them. Where a human could nap and escape, they were perpetually awake, so they had to seek different escapes.

Bella's room was at the top, a smaller room with sloping, beamed ceilings and windows facing the woods outside. It shared a bathroom with a spare room that no one used. It was slightly smaller than our master bedroom at home, and Bella had repeatedly told me that being in that room made her even more homesick for our house…and me. But she'd also said that it was a place she could hole up in when she felt like a fifth wheel in a home filled with couples.

I tapped the door and then pushed it slowly open to see my wife curled up in the chair in the corner of the room. As usual, a book was in her hands, but I could see she was distracted.

"Did you know I can hear your heartbeat before you even get out of the car?" she said instead of greeting me.

"Yeah? And just what does my heartbeat tell you, baby?" I asked, setting my bag down on the poster bed before coming to kneel at her feet.

She fought her smile, set her book down on the table beside her, and sat forward. "That you're excited or nervous or worried. I can't quite tell. I haven't gotten used to reading it yet."

"About seeing you? Yes, ma'am, to all of those things." I nodded fervently, just to get a smile out of her. "It's been a long day. There are only so many stitches and broken bones and runny noses with fevers that I can handle without wanting to see you."

She cupped my face in her hands. She was getting better and better at controlling the smaller movements. It was the times when she was losing herself just a little that she needed to work on. I wasn't worried a bit. Bella was nothing if not stubborn about some things, and overcoming this new strength wasn't going to stop her.

When she stayed quiet, I reached up to touch her face. "Let me hold you, Bella."

She nodded and stood up, and I took the chair, opening my arms for her to sit with me. She settled onto my lap, curling up. She seemed to breathe deeply as she reached over to take my hand in hers. Dropping kisses to the middle of her forehead, I waited out her silence. The newest parts of Bella had to process, and I was learning to be patient.

My eyes scanned the room, seeing it was spotless – no clutter, no dust, not even a wrinkle in the bed. On the nightstand was a framed picture of the two of us, one she'd taken from our bedroom; it had been missing for weeks, but I could never figure out just what had been removed from our room at the time. Finally, I caught sight of the book she'd been reading, and with my free hand, I picked it up.

Without me having to ask, Bella mumbled into my neck. "That was almost the passage I left you instead of the poem."

Smiling, I kissed her forehead and read the marked page aloud. _"'Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Henry Scott Holland. Oxford.'"_

I set the book back down, contemplating the words. "I like the poem better. It painted a prettier picture."

Bella snorted into a soft yet short laugh. "Esme said the same thing."

"Hmm," I hummed in agreement. "Esme is very smart. She reminds me of my own mother so much."

Bella lifted her head to look me in the eye. "She likes you, you know. She… She helped me watch over you, and she occasionally would go visit Carlisle at the hospital just to check on you… _for me_." When I smiled, she kissed my lips and kept going. "She says you're very patient with people and you're very kind. She also said you were calm in frantic times and quick-witted in others. She said you're completely oblivious as to how women view you. She also happened to be nearby when you were talking to Roxy about me."

"Yeah? And just what was I saying, hmm?" I whispered against her lips. "That socks don't end up discarded in the sheets? That long, brown hair wasn't clogging the drain anymore?"

Bella grinned at my teasing, shaking her head. "No, that you'd been a very lucky man for too short of time."

"I was. I still am, sweetheart. Even more so now."

Bella was very melancholy. Alice and Jasper had been right about it being a bad day. Normally, when I arrived at the Cullen home, we'd sit and catch up, but today, she was quiet and introspective.

Cupping her face, I pressed my lips to her forehead and then her mouth. "Talk to me. Your eyes are dark and sad today. Why?"

Her lip trembled, which meant my girl was just about to cry.

"Bella? Please…"

"Our anniversary is next week."

"I know. I have something for you already." I smiled proudly at that, which caused her to fight her smile.

"It's our second."

"I know that, too, Bella." My brow wrinkled, and I waited until her eyes met mine again. "Why does that make you sad?"

"B-Because we can't… I'm not… I want… And you… Nothing's the same!" she finally blurted out.

"C'mere," I sighed, pulling her back to my chest. "Calm down, sweetheart, please." I ran my hand flat over her head and down her soft hair with one hand and linked our fingers together with the other. "So let's see… What did we do last year on our first?"

"You took me to dinner."

"Mmhmm, can't do that this time. What else?"

"You rented a hotel room overlooking Puget Sound."

"Right. We _could_ do that, but I doubt you're ready for that many humans. What else?"

Her head popped back up from my neck, and she glared at me wryly. "Edward…"

Grinning, I shook my head at her. "Bella, stop." I kissed her pouting lips to stop her from saying anything else. "You're right, baby. It's not going to be the same. It can't be, but I'm okay with that. I am so very fucking happy that we have the option _to_ celebrate."

Bella melted a little. "Me, too."

"And… We'll come up with something new. Dinner sounds boring anyway. Everyone does dinner for their anniversary. I want something unique."

A giggle escaped her. "Me, too."

"Okay, then why all this?" I asked gently, rubbing the wrinkle between her brows.

"I miss touching you without fear."

"Me, too," I answered her.

"I've already…" She pushed at the sleeve of my shirt, revealing the bruise just the perfect size of her hand.

"Then we've got work to do, Bella. I told you that bruise is nothing, no more than what I'd get fighting someone in the ER," I countered her before she could finish. "Honestly, I can't think of a worse job than letting you learn to touch me again."

Her laugh was beautiful and loud, and it changed everything about her gorgeous face. "I need to learn control, though."

"So…we can work on it. Like physical therapy."

"Really, Dr. Masen, and just how do you suggest we do that?" she asked sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest.

"By pushing said control," I told her firmly, standing up from the chair while keeping her in my arms as I walked her into the bathroom. "First things first, baby. How's your thirst?"

Bella's eyes widened, but she nodded, touching her throat. "Okay. I hunted today. Too much, but that was because you were coming to stay the weekend."

"Good. Next… Tell me how you could hurt me." I set her down and turned on the hot water in the shower.

"I could break you, Edward," she scolded, frowning my way. "My teeth…they're sharper, the venom—"

"Okay, then. Anything else?"

She thought for a moment and then shook her head.

"Good. Now, Mrs. Masen, you're going to get undressed and get in that shower."

Her eyes widened again, but she nodded, asking, "Is this because of my cold skin?"

"No, this is because I smell like the hospital." Before she could turn away, I cupped her chin. "Nothing that's changed about you, Bella, could affect how I feel. Remember that."

Watching my wife undress was a comforting yet new experience. Her physical changes were from head to toe. Where she used to be soft in some places, she was now firm and toned. There were muscles where there weren't before, but her whole body was familiar to me. Skin, breasts, hips, thighs, backside – all of it had been touched and/or kissed by me throughout the years. And I'd missed every damn inch of her. I knew no other woman but Bella, and I was her first and only, so there was comfort there, too.

Instead of getting in the shower once she was completely bare, she reached for me.

"No, baby. No touching. This is a lesson in restraint. Get in." I slid open the shower door, shooing her playfully inside.

Bella's eyes darkened to pitch, which made me smirk her way as I undressed myself. "I've missed looking at you," she whispered, eyeing me all over as I stepped into the shower with her.

Grinning, I said, "Look all you want, just no touching, Isabella."

"But…"

"No buts." I turned her around so that her back was to my chest, placing her hands on the wall and the shower door and then reaching for the soap.

I touched my wife everywhere, stepping her under the spray. As the water rinsed away suds, I dropped kisses to her shoulder and neck. My hands traveled everywhere – cupped a breast and played with a nipple, teased her between her legs, and pulled hips back so she could feel exactly what she was doing to me.

Her hands flinched, and she started to pull them away from the wall and door, but I stopped her. "No, sweetheart, those hands stay there." I cupped her between her legs again, a little possessively, but with the sole purpose of causing my wife to fall apart. "Just feel, baby. And leave those hands there."

Bella started to nod, but her head fell back to my shoulder as I dropped open-mouthed kisses to her neck and the sweet, sensitive spot just below her ear. I was happy to note that some things didn't change. Her voice was breathy, her hips rolled with the rhythm I was setting, and my name bouncing off the walls of that shower had never sounded so damn good.

I heard a muted crack, and I slowed down. "Easy, my Bella," I soothed her. "You're cracking the tile."

"Better the tile than your skull."

Grinning, I kissed her skin again. "True, but control it, baby. You can do this, you know."

I waited until she'd relaxed her hands and then finally gave her the orgasm she'd been racing toward and so desperately needed. Her whole body shook, pulsated, and finally sagged a little.

"Don't move until you're in control, Bella," I warned her but stopped her with a shake of my head when she reached for me. "Not this time, sweetheart. Believe me, I've missed your touch, but we'll build up to that. I needed you to see that you _can_ do this. We can find _us_ again." I grasped her shoulders gently, bending a little at the knee so that we were eye to eye. "I would happily hold you – _just hold you_ – for the rest of our lives, Bella. Human or immortal. Our anniversary will be perfect because it'll be us – together. I don't care if we play lawn darts, for fuck sake; it'll still be awesome because we are together."

Bella's laugh echoed in the shower, but she shook her head. "No pointy objects, Edward."

Laughing, I kissed her lips. "Fair enough. We'll figure out a safe and fun activity for the two of us that causes no destruction, blood, or tears. And I am very proud that a small crack is the only thing that resulted in watching you fall apart. We've got this, Bella."

She nodded a little, stepping into my embrace under the shower spray.

"Thank you," she sighed the words against my chest.

"And stop listening to Rosalie," I told her in a whisper. "Ignore her, my Bella. I do."

Her laugh was soft, but she nodded against me. "She pisses me off."

"She shouldn't. Her opinion is void here, I think."

"Me, too."

I pressed more kisses to her lips. "Good." I closed my eyes, willing my erection to calm the hell down, because she was beautiful and slippery and moving against me. I was just about to tell her to be still when she pulled away from me in a very non-Bella type way.

Her head tilted a little as she listened to something way out of my hearing range. "Alice and Jasper are back."

"I thought…" I started but then shook my head and quickly washed up in the shower and turned off the water.

"Victoria broke into our house," she suddenly growled, yanking back the shower door and causing another crack, this time in the glass.

"Bella," I called her, but she was already getting dried off and dressed by the time I'd stepped out and grabbed a towel.

"Emmett was tracking her." She rounded on me, pointing a finger my way. "She was looking for _you_! I'll kill her…I swear to God. And if she hurt Steve…"

"Ah, shit. Okay, let me get dressed."

By the time I'd pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, Bella's patience was unraveling. We made our way downstairs to see Alice pacing, with Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper watching her quietly. She stopped when she saw us.

"She sent newborns into your house!" she said through gritted teeth. "She's finished her army, so she'll be coming for us."

"Steve?" Bella asked through a whisper but spun when the front door flew open.

I shook my head at Emmett, who was toting the cat carrier from our hall closet. A very puffy, very loud ginger cat was letting it be known he wasn't happy. But I honestly wasn't sure there was a better sight, especially for my Bella's sanity…and mine, too. He was ours, and we loved him.

"Steve," she sighed in relief, taking the carrier from the big immortal, who was grinning.

"Found him hiding in the backyard tree. He wasn't happy with me, but at least he knew to run," Emmett explained.

"Thank you," I told him, looking to Rose when she came inside the house.

"Victoria is done waiting. I chased her as best I could in the neighborhood, but she got away. She said she'll see us all soon," Rose said with a lip curled in hatred.

Carlisle sighed and stood up from his chair in the living room. "Okay, we'll call Jacob, let him know to get hereas soon as possible. We need to be ready for her."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… I'm fairly certain my pre-readers would've rioted should something have happened to Steve. LOL That's probably putting it mildly, too.**

 **Some of you have amazing theories on Edward and Bella, concerning his option of becoming immortal. Hang in there. Some of you have voiced concern about how closely this is following** _ **Twilight**_ **, and I'm not really sure what the worry is, because I'm not a particularly big fan of "pulling a** _ **New Moon**_ **" type of situation. I'm not following it** _ **that**_ **closely. LOL And considering Bella was changed first, there's no hybrid child. So… *shrugs* We'll see if that worry pans out to be as bad as some have claimed.**

 **For those reading** _ **Six**_ **, it's running late, which is my fault. But I'm trying to catch up, because I need to work on this fic too. So…bear with me.**

 **Okay, so this will update next Monday or so, and I'll see you guys then… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	10. Together We're Invincible

**A/N… Apparently, everyone wants to sign up for physical therapy with Dr. Masen. ;) I'll let you get to it. See me at the bottom for some info…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 10 – Together We're Invincible**

 _Follow through  
Make your dreams come true  
Don't give up the fight  
You will be alright  
'Cause there's no one like you in the universe_

 _Don't be afraid_  
 _What your mind conceives_  
 _You should make a stand_  
 _Stand up for what you believe_  
 _And tonight_  
 _We can truly say_  
 _Together we're invincible_

" _Invincible" by Muse_

 **EDWARD**

A low, rumbling growl emanated from Steve as he stayed perched on my chest. His eyes were dark, his ears back, but his paws gripped my sweatshirt fiercely as we sat around in the Cullen's living room.

"Easy, buddy," I whispered to him. When he spun his yellow-green gaze my way, a purr starting up softly. He'd had the shit scared out of him, and since I was the only one in the room he could rely upon, he was clingy.

That last thing bothered Bella a bit, but she understood it. She gazed worriedly at the two of us from across the room, but her eyes were warm, lighter. Even her mood was a bit more controlled since our shower upstairs, and a part of me was proud that I could merely _help_ her in some way. It was hard watching my strong, smart wife second-guess herself over just about every-damn-thing. Before, she would make decisions and never look back, but now she was unsure over her own thought processes. Carlisle said hunting helped her but that I helped her more. I hoped that was true, because as out of my element as I felt, I needed to do something for my Bella. And if touching her, giving her pleasure helped, then I couldn't exactly complain.

"Hmm, pride," Jasper noted with narrowed eyes and a smirk. When Steve growled his way, adding a hiss onto it for good measure, he chuckled, holding his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Okay, okay," he sang through a laugh. "Trust me, Steve, you're barely a snack around here."

Grinning, I ran a hand over Steve's head as I shook mine. The more I was around the Cullens, the more they relaxed – even Rose, though she rarely addressed me. Alice had told me that it was easier for them that I knew, which went beyond Bella. She said it could be tedious pretending to be human, slowing down every movement. So having me know, having me accept what they were was nice for them. They could be themselves.

We were waiting for Jacob to arrive with a few members of his pack. It was Bella who'd called him, telling him exactly what had transpired at our house while we weren't there. Jake had let out a string of curses and told her he'd be there in a few hours.

The sun had set, and my eyes drifted around the room, inevitably landing on Bella again. Remembering our time in the shower upstairs was probably dangerous and stupid, considering Jasper could feel every emotion and Alice could see every decision, but I couldn't help it. There had been something so comforting about being able to touch my wife again, even without any reciprocation from her. Some things had been exactly the same – her breathing, her words, her utter surrender to me – but what had been different was knowing that she was now extraordinarily powerful, feeling that power beneath my fingers, but seeing she was still my same, loving Bella.

Her burnt-umber eyes met mine across the room as she worked in the kitchen to cook for not only me but also for Jake and the pack for when they arrived. She and Esme were working flawlessly together in there, and I could see how everyone used every little thing Bella did as a newborn life lesson. While the shower was a test of controlling her strength with me, chopping vegetables and stirring a pot on the stove was a way to let her slow down, focus on the tasks that, at one time, she could do without thinking.

I mouthed, _I love you_ , to her, laughing softly when she smiled, looked back down at the counter, and shook her head. Before, my Bella would've been blushing, with sweet pink cheeks, but now her eyes darkened when she glanced back up.

Carlisle paced while on the phone. He'd decided to call some other immortals he knew, the ones in Denali. He wasn't sure if he needed the help, but apparently they were considered family of sorts, because they shared the same diet as the Cullens.

"Eleazar, I'm afraid I don't have much of a choice," he stated as he stalkedthrough the room. "The fight is coming to me whether I want it or not. Victoria is unstable and a threat to my family. I explained to you the circumstances surrounding Bella, and I'm aware that we are essentially responsible for the whole thing, so I must end this. However, Victoria's activities in Seattle are drawing Volturi attention, and I need to stop this quickly. I'm hoping she makes a move soon."

He wandered back out of the room, still carrying on his conversation, and I worried for all of them, not to mention myself and the now calming cat on my chest. Alice sat down in the chair across from me, her face solemn.

"They're debating on coming to help us. The more we have, the quicker and quieter we can shut Victoria down," she stated, nodding once. "They haven't made a solid decision yet, but they will. Eleazar and Carlisle have known each other for a very, very long time." She smirked a little. "Back when they were both in Volterra. The two of them will do anything to keep their families safe _and_ away from the Volturi." Her eyes glazed over as she paused for a moment. "They're coming. Good. That will give us the numbers we need." Before I could ask how many, she smiled. "Five more. And with the wolves, we'll have plenty to work with, not to mention, Jasper has experience with newborn armies."

"I thought the wolves made your visions iffy," I said, petting Steve to keep him calm.

"They do, but I've figured out a way to work around it. I search the outcomes of distant futures, checking to see where everyone is and if they're safe. However, when it comes to a fight, we have experience and strength, so I don't need to check as much. What I'm watching is _you_."

Grinning, I shrugged a shoulder. "I don't think I'm going to be much help."

"Not in the fight, but with…" Her eyes drifted to Bella, and she smirked when I chuckled. "We won't leave you alone, and we can't spare more than two, so you'll most likely stay here. However, Jake may want to take you to the reservation. I've seen that conversation."

The rest of the family, including Bella, came into the room to gather around us. When Bella sat beside me, she pressed a kiss to my lips. Steve gave her a short growl but then relaxed when he smelled her hand, finally allowing her to touch him.

"That's too far away," I stated, glancing to Carlisle. "And you're not allowed across the treaty line. I thought you were luring her here." I gestured to the woods outside, because Jacob wanted to use the forest for cover.

"We are." Carlisle nodded. "I think it's best you stay here. I also think it's best that Bella stay with you, along with someone else."

"I'll stay with them, sweetheart," Esme volunteered. "Between Bella and myself, we can handle anything." She shot my girl a wink and a smile my way. "If any of them wander here, we'll be fine."

"I think we need to discuss newborns with the pack, Carlisle," Jasper stated gravely, his face stone-like in its seriousness. "No offense to Bella," he said, giving her a crooked, teasing smile, "but she's not a normal newborn. What's heading our way will be violent and uncontrollable. I also think – simply from experience – that she broke into Edward's home to have the newborns catch his scent. We could use that. We could create a trail of his scent in order to put them where we want them."

Bella's eyes blackened to pitch as she glared at Jasper, but he came to kneel in front of her. "Jasper, _no_! Please, _please_ don't do this. Please don't use him as bait. I'm…"

He sighed deeply. "He's bait whether we want it or not, but if we control the situation, Bella, then we'll be able to manipulate Victoria into a false sense of the upper hand, then we can lay a nice, outnumbered trap."

I turned to Bella, gently urging her to look my way with my fingers beneath her chin. "He's right, sweetheart. I'm who she's after, and that gives us – or you guys, really – a leg up." I shrugged a shoulder because all of this was out of my hands, and I was completely out of my league; I had to help in some way, because if we didn't fight now, Victoria could very well get the jump on us. "We can use what we know. She wants me because she lost James to you. As crazy as all that sounds, we can use it to lead her to where she needs to be."

She frowned but nodded, pointing a finger my way. "You don't leave my sight."

That caused a few chuckles around the room, but I looked to Carlisle. "My scent… What would you need from me?"

He smiled slowly, almost evilly, but tilted his head a bit. "Feel like donating some blood, son?"

 **~oOo~**

"Feel okay?" Carlisle asked, breaking my gaze from his home office window where the pack and the rest of the Cullens were sitting around the table on the back deck.

Steve was now upstairs safely hidden in Bella's room away from animal-hunting vampires and shape-shifting wolves. He'd had enough superhuman activities for the day. Outside, the weather was getting cold and snowy, and not one of them out there needed a coat, but I knew I'd be freezing my ass off even with jackets and hats and scarves, all of which were draped across the chair beside mine for the moment.

"Hmm?" I asked, looking down at where he had the vial filling with my blood. "Oh, yeah, fine."

He filled two of them before removing the needle and wrapping my arm tightly with gauze and tape. He caught my inability to stop looking at my wife, and instead of walking away, he sat down at his desk, setting the two vials of blood down in front of him.

"Want to talk about it?"

"About what?" I asked with a soft laugh.

"About what we're doing? About why you look worried?"

Grinning, I shook my head and sighed. "I dunno, Carlisle. Wouldn't you be worried if you were in my position?" I countered rhetorically. "I mean, I'm aware that she's quite capable of protecting herself, even before all of this, but…I liked the job. Now, she…"

Carlisle smiled warmly, glancing out the window at his family, who were discussing details of the plan with Jake, Embry, Sam, and Leah. The latter was a shock – and Jacob's fiancé. We'd been aware of Leah's disdain for vampires, but her love for Bella seemed to have overridden that hatred. She and Jacob made a good pair, and now I knew why – they'd imprinted. It was something similar to the vampire mating.

"She needs you, Edward. Don't let what she is now fool you. It goes beyond what she's become. If anything, she needs you more now than ever, because mates require their other half to complete them." He stood up from his chair and walked to the window to look out. "I was alone for a hundred years before Esme, and I wasn't sure I'd ever find my mate, but when I did…" He shook his head and smiled sadly. "She was too young, so I let her be, but those few years without her were the hardest I'd ever known. I waited for her, and eventually, I saw her again. I can't say the circumstances were ideal, but I have no regrets in changing her."

Nodding, I stood and joined him at the window, taking in the smile and laugh of my Bella as she teased Jacob and chatted with Leah. My gaze fell to Esme, the epitome of calm, comfort, and ease. She'd once explained her long, sad tale to me, so I understood what Carlisle was saying. She'd tried to move on without him but fell into a not-so-nice relationship that resulted in the loss of an unborn child, something that she couldn't handle, so she'd tried to end her life. It was then that Carlisle changed her into a vampire. Both spoke of it like it was a necessary act of mercy and salvation.

Carlisle faced me. "Son, Bella needs you because one _instinctively_ understands exactly what the other needs at all times. You two were probably like that before, and it'll be stronger now, more intuitive." He set a hand on my shoulder gently. "It has absolutely nothing to do with protection anymore. She can't be mugged or hurt or even jumped. She doesn't need you to open the jars in the kitchen, and she doesn't have to be cautious when using a knife. She does, however, need someone to be there when this life becomes too much or not enough or disturbing. She needs that connection to you in which to anchor herself – a port in the storm, so to speak. And if you two choose to change you, you'll need it right back."

I nodded that I'd heard him, letting my gaze drift back to the one person I had left on this planet, the one I thought I'd lost.

"I feel a little weak here," I admitted softly, wrinkling my nose a little as I shrugged a shoulder and started to put on my coat and hat. "Like I'm useless and in the way, but I…"

"You're not, Edward. I promise you." He guided me toward the door after pocketing the vials of my blood so we could join the rest of them outside. "You are in this position because of me, because of Victoria, and honestly, you're handling it better than I personally expected. Bella and Jake had faith in you, but I didn't. You're made of strong stuff, son. Don't think any different."

We stepped out onto the back deck, and I laughed when Bella was up and wrapped around me in the blink of an eye. "Sweetheart, I'm fine. I barely felt the needle."

"I heard you," she whispered. "I need you, Edward. You have to know that."

I pressed kisses to her forehead, the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. "I need you, too, Bella. So I suppose we need to be careful, hmm? I think we'd be pretty messed up if something happened."

"Me, too."

"Good," I told her, whispering the word against her lips. "Now we have a real plan."

Her giggle was beautiful, and I needed it more than the air around me. However, the air was turning extremely chilly as white, fluffy flakes started to fall around us. I glanced up when Jasper started to instruct the wolves on how to handle newborn vampires.

 **~oOo~**

The fire was warm in the living room as I watched the snow fall outside the next morning. The house was pretty quiet. After the meeting with Jake and the guys, everyone split up to do whatever tasks they needed in order to guard the area, subtly guide Victoria this way, and prepare for a fight.

Leah and Jacob were patrolling the grounds somewhere out there in the cold, although their thick fur coats kept them from freezing, and two more wolves – Paul and Quil – had joined Sam and Embry in the woods to sniff out vampire trails, because Victoria had to be using more than the city to get around in the daytime. Jasper, Bella, and Alice were at my house, making it look like I was leaving it – which I was, until this was all over – so they were packing for me. Emmett and Carlisle, however, were in the city looking for trails as well, and that was at Alice's command. She'd seen where to go in order to push the newborns our way. The goal was to guide them to the woods behind the house where, approximately fifteen miles in, there was an open field. Carlisle and Jasper wanted to lead them there to fight so they could surprise them with the wolves. The newborns wouldn't know the pack even existed, so that would give us another advantage.

I rubbed my temple and then my eyes. My head pounded with a headache I'd had since I'd awakened that morning. I attributed it to stress and worry and not sleeping at home in my own bed.

Steve bounded into the room, landing on the ottoman in front of me. Smiling, I leaned forward, giving him a scratch on the head. He purred loudly, giving my chin a head-butt before settling down in front of the warmth of the fireplace and cleaning his paws.

"I never understood the whole pet concept," I heard Rosalie's voice behind me.

Smiling as I continued to watch Steve bathe, I nodded. "No, I imagine you wouldn't." I glanced her way as she sat down with a magazine in hand, adding, "Considering you eat his kind…"

She chuckled a little. "He's not worth the effort. A big cat, perhaps, but not that thing."

Smirking, I shook my head. "Well, I'm sure he appreciates your restraint."

Rose cracked a small smile.

"I get it, though," I told her, glancing her way, but she was flipping through the magazine. "I mean, I didn't have a pet growing up. He's the first one, and it was Bella who brought him home. I said yes because he made her happy."

Rose's eyes softened at that for a split second, but she covered it up quickly. "No, I get that. I just… They don't live very long. And…" She gestured to herself. "That's not exactly… I dunno, it just seems like you set yourself up for heartbreak."

"Ah, yeah, I guess." I sighed, wrinkling my nose as I studied Steve. "He was from a litter of six. Two of those got homes – Steve, and then a little girl in another apartment building down from ours at the time took one. The other four, and the mother, were turned into the pound." I grimaced, meeting her gaze. "I can't bear to think what happened after that, so I focus on him. I get the avoidance of heartbreak, but for him…we're his world. For however short a lifespan he has, we took him in and therefore signed an unwritten contract to take care of him."

She huffed a laugh at that but waved a hand. "And then there's the whole litter box thing."

I barked a laugh. "Yes, well, I can't imagine you stooping low enough to scoop. I would imagine you'd think it beneath you, Rose."

Her eyes darkened to black, and Steve paused enough in his bathing to stare her way. However, she paused just a moment and nodded. "It is. It's disgusting."

I chuckled, nodding a little. "Sometimes," I agreed.

Rosalie reminded me of girls I'd known in school, with her vain appearance, but she also reminded me a bit of my grandmother's friends. They came from a time where image was everything – who you married, what you wore, what type of job you obtained. I also saw a touch of jealousy in Rose. She most likely hadn't believed Bella when she'd begged and pleaded for me, hadn't believed her when she'd said her husband would understand all that had happened. When all that came to fruition, I could imagine it pissed her off something fierce. From what I could piece together, Rose didn't trust a soul outside this family, and even for her to trust me, it would simply take time.

We were both quiet for the moment. I ran a hand over Steve's head, smiling when his purr was loud but soothing. Rose set her magazine down on the sofa cushion next to her.

"Are you really considering changing into this?" She asked that with a slight derisive tone to her voice, and I glanced over to her to see she truly struggled with all that she was and had endured for however long she'd been alive.

I nodded a little but sat back in the chair. "Bella's been the center of my universe for six years. I lost my parents when I was young – barely a teen. I lost my grandmother, who raised me, not long ago. The only thing I had wanted when I left Chicago for Seattle was to be a doctor. Until Bella. And right then, everything clicked into place. I wanted it all _with her_." I shrugged a shoulder, smiling sadly. "Losing her was devastating, and without Steve to take care of, I'm not quite sure I wouldn't have tried to follow her, Rose. So… I plan to do whatever it takes to keep her, make her happy, and take care of her… _for the rest of our lives_." I leaned on that last part because she needed to understand I wasn't taking any of the events that brought us to that moment lightly.

Rose's expression warmed completely, and she toyed with the corner of the magazine beside her. It seemed she had come into the room to test me. And I apparently passed, because she smirked a little and nodded.

"Good answer, Edward." She stood up, wearing a wry smile, so I knew she was teasing. "But I honestly don't get what she sees in you…" That last thing was muttered sarcastically and with a wry smirk.

That made me laugh. "Me, either," I added with a grin, and she smiled my way as she went back upstairs.

Esme came in from the kitchen with a mug, handing it to me. "Here, sweetheart, I made you some coffee," she said, giving the stairs a glare. "That was a _very_ good answer, Edward. I'd apologize for her, but she's always sorted things out her own way. She means well, though."

Chuckling, I took the mug and sipped from it, hoping to hell it would ease my headache.

"You okay?" she asked, tilting her head at me.

Wrinkling my nose, I simply stated, "Headache."

"Well, if you need anything, I'm sure you or Carlisle are quite capable of sorting out something."

I smiled her way but turned my head when the front door opened to show Bella, Jasper, and Alice. Jasper was carrying quite the armload of bags and a couple of boxes.

"Really, sweetheart?" I teased my wife, who was across the room and curling up in my lap before I could register the movement. "Did you move us again?"

Bella's giggle was sweet music, and it was muffled into my neck. "No, I took some of my stuff too, baby."

Jasper rushed the things upstairs and joined us quickly. "Believe me, she wanted more shit."

Pressing a chuckling kiss to Bella's forehead, I said, "Hopefully, it'll be over soon, my Bella."

"Yeah," she sighed, lifting her head to gently place a hand on my face. "You're a little warm, Edward."

"I'm okay. It's from the fire and a bit of a headache. I'll take something in a minute."

"I'll get you something, baby," Bella offered and was off my lap and up the stairs quickly. She was back down, bottle in hand, before I could've even made the first step. "Here you go."

I had to tease her. I couldn't resist. "Imagine how fast you could shelve books at the library now."

My wife let out a silly snort. "Trust me, that's not what I imagine."

Grinning, I shook my head, giving her a warning with a raised eyebrow. "Wanna share?"

"Nope."

Esme's soft, amused laughter met our ears, and I shot her a wink.

"You two," she sighed, shaking her head.

Bella laughed, kissed my forehead, and frowned. "I don't think that's from the fireplace, baby."

"I'll be fine. I'm just not used to sleeping somewhere other than home, Bella. That's all."

She frowned, eyed me shrewdly for a moment, but turned when Alice came into the room.

"The Denalis are here. They met up with Carlisle and Emmett and followed them here."

As she said that, Rose descended from upstairs to join us, and the front door opened. Carlisle stepped in, holding the door for four women, followed by a man and finally Emmett. My eyebrows shot up as I took them all in. They reminded me of meeting Alice and Esme that first time – intimidatingly beautiful, honey eyes, and pale skin. Two were blonde, one strawberry blonde, and the last woman had dark hair with an olive complexion that came through her immortal change. The man was similar to the latter, and he was tall with a pleasant expression on his face.

Carlisle faced the room, a hand landing on the man's shoulder. "Eleazar, let me introduce to you the newest members of my family. This is Bella Masen and her husband, Edward."

"A shield!" he praised, beaming at my Bella. "No wonder you can maintain control around your human spouse. It's nice to meet you, Bella." He focused his attention on me after shaking her hand and paused for a moment, tilting his head a little. "Edward," he said with a nod but then turned to Carlisle. "Is he to become one of us?"

"That's his choice. You know how I feel about that, Eleazar," Carlisle replied gently.

"Well, if you do decide, you will have quite a mental talent, Edward," he told me. "Alice, what do you see of our dear Edward?"

"That's like giving away the ending of a movie," she chastised as she folded her arms across her chest, causing groans and laughter. "I can't see details, to be honest. I know he's going to be special, I just can't tell what he can do. If I had to guess…" She closed her eyes, which meant she was seeing a vision. "Something like me. Or mind reader. Maybe."

I snorted but shrugged at Bella when she looked my way with raised eyebrows.

"Well, I'm merely curious," Eleazar finished, gesturing to his family. "This is my wife, Carmen." He pointed to the dark-haired vampire before introducing the others. "These three are Irina, Kate, and Tanya."

There were handshakes all around, and Rose hugged all three. Tanya eyed me with a wry smile and shook my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. So you're the reason for all this drama," she said teasingly, her voice soft, laced with a slight accent as she gazed up through her eyelashes, wearing a small smile. There was a touch of predator in her demeanor, something that was supposed to be alluring but simply came off as silly to me.

"No, I'm afraid that responsibility rests with me," Carlisle stated. "Chasing those nomads unleashed a chain of events that I need to finish in order to correct. Bella was innocently caught in the line of fire, and now the remaining member of that coven is seeking revenge. Unfortunately, Edward became the target."

"She wants a _mate_ for a _mate_ ," Bella stated rather harshly, but she slipped her hand into mine.

The look on my wife's face was confusingly angry, but she seemed to be glaring Tanya's way.

Jasper chuckled and stepped closer, and I felt a calm spread over me, which seemed to affect the entire room. "Our wolf friends should be here any moment. They need to meet you, and then we'll see if Victoria takes the bait we've been setting for the last twenty-four hours."

"Edward," Bella called softly, "would you please take Steve upstairs? He'll stay calmer up there."

"Yeah, sure." I turned to the ottoman, where my ginger buddy was black eyed and sitting rigid with his tail wrapped around his feet. "C'mere, Steve."

He allowed me to scoop him up, and I toted him upstairs, where he had everything he needed – litter in the bathroom, food by the door, and the bed where I set him down so he could sleep. The bedroom door opened and closed behind me, and I turned to see Bella black-eyed and pissed.

"She's… Tanya is…"

"No concern of mine, sweetheart," I stated, sitting down on the edge of the bed and trying to ignore the pounding of my headache. "C'mere, beautiful."

Bella walked to me to stand between my legs. "You are so oblivious, Edward Masen."

Grinning, I shrugged. "No, ma'am, I'm completely taken. There's a difference, you know."

There it was, the calming effect she needed, the one Carlisle had spoken of in his office the night before. The darkness in her eyes started to dissipate, warming into the burnt umber that was slowly turning honey like the rest of them.

My heart sputtered at the sight of her, because I sometimes couldn't believe how lucky I was to have her. Human, immortal – it didn't matter to me. As long as the sweet, loving woman in front of me continued to exist, I was completely happy.

Bella heard the change, placing her hand gently on my chest. "What was that? Tell me so I can learn it."

"I love you. That's what that is, my Bella."

"I love you, too," she whispered, and her lip trembled as her hands cupped either side of my face gently. "When this shit starts, Edward, I need you to do exactly what we tell you – run, hide, freeze – whatever. But please, promise me you'll listen. I…I can't have anything happen to you. I can't, baby. Just… _please_."

I was getting used to these sudden bursts of emotion from her, but I understood it. All of them had explained or showed just how strong they were, so it wouldn't take much for any one of them to snap my neck, not that the Cullens would – I knew that much. I trusted them because without them, I wouldn't have my Bella back. They'd proven time and time again that they were loyal and protective, making the best of a situation that was exactly how Carlisle described it to the Denalis – an unfortunate chain of events.

"Bella, look at me," I said softly, and when her worried gaze met mine, I brought her down for a soft kiss. "I will do whatever it takes so that we can move on – _together_. When this is over, I want to learn and make plans and figure out how we can continue our lives together."

"Me, too."

"I want to discuss the future of us."

"Me, too."

"I want many more showers, Mrs. Masen."

Her face broke into the most beautifully sexy smile. "Mmm… Me, too."

"We're good, then."

"Yeah, we are," she sighed, leaning into me.

When she raked her fingers through my hair, I closed my eyes at how that eased the headache a little but not completely. Out of nowhere, I was racked with four harsh sneezes, making the throbbing hurt more, and my sinuses gave a twinge.

"Edward, why don't you rest? Sleep that headache off, and I'll make you some soup. Maybe you've caught something from the hospital. Hmm?"

"Fuck, I can't be sick, Bella," I groaned, shaking my head, but I glanced over to Steve, who had curled up on the bed by the pillows. Nodding, I finally conceded, "Okay. But wake me if anything changes."

"I promise."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… Things are building up… And Rose is chilling out. ;)**

 **IMPORTANT… Guys, I've been working 45-50 hours a week since prior to Christmas, and it's finally caught up with me with that work schedule, writing two fics – this one and** _ **Six**_ **– and a book release coming Feb 21** **st** **. I have to take a break somewhere, and I'm going to do it with this fic.** _ **Even In Death**_ **will continue, but I need a couple of weeks to play catch-up without killing myself. My goal is to be able to start posting again by Feb 27** **th** **, and if not, then March 6** **th** **. I just wanted to let you know before I did it. Normally, I'd be on it with no probs, but not this time. I'm behind in all aspects of my life. **facepalm** Anyway, I'm going to focus on getting** _ **Six**_ **finished up and my book released. I just wanted to keep you in the loop.**

 **Speaking of the book…** _ **Sun Still Shining**_ **– the second half of** _ **Rain Must Fall**_ **– will release Feb 21** **st** **in e-book and paperback formats. The Kindle version is available now for pre-order on Amazon, and the paperback will go up for order on release day. If you're interested in signed copies of the paperback, there are sign-up sheets on FB and Twitter.** **It's slightly more expensive, due to shipping, so if you don't want a signed copy, you can wait till it shows up on Amazon to order there.**

 **Okay, I think that's it. I'll see you guys over on Sarge's Girls for** _ **Six**_ **later on in the week hopefully, and I'm on FB and Twitter if you need anything. Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	11. Fight On

**A/N… Okay, I'm** _ **slowly**_ **catching up. It's not all the things, but at least this chapter is done. And it took 2 weeks to put together. -_-**

 **So recap… Edward is feeling a bit under the weather, Victoria is putting together a newborn army, and the Cullens are trying to trap her, along with Jake and the rest of the wolves. And Steve has his own fan club. LOL Love you guys… I'll let you get to it. See me at the bottom, please…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 11 – Fight On**

 _Even if our spirits are broken,  
let's confront it!  
Single-mindedly, let's fight on  
with our fists more... with our spirits more...  
with making all sharper.  
Still more, let's fight on  
even if we get sad and unable to stand up_

" _Karate" by BABYMETAL  
(_ _roughly_ _translated from Japanese to English via A-Z Lyrics)_

 **EDWARD**

"Here, Edward," Bella said softly against my forehead. "Carlisle said it's time for you to take these."

"M'kay," I mumbled, sitting up and rubbing my face. "Any news?"

"Not yet."

I blindly took the pills and the bottle of water she was handing me. It had been two days since the Denali family had shown up and three days since the Cullens had laid out the trap that should've led Victoria and whatever army she'd built straight here. My house in the city was closed up, making it look like there hadn't been anyone home in a week. Carlisle had deemed me too sick to work, so I was excused from the hospital, which meant I'd been pretty much trapped inside the Cullen home, specifically Bella's bed, the whole time.

I swallowed down the pills, which were potent antibiotics and cold pills for the symptoms, and raked a hand through my hair. My Bella was chewing on that bottom lip of hers when a cough rocketed through me. She looked even more worried when I snatched a tissue out of the box and blew my nose.

"I'm okay, sweetheart," I rasped, chugging some more water. "Actually, this is the best I've felt in a couple days." I rubbed my face again. "Though I could use a shave, I guess."

Bella giggled softly, reaching out a hand to touch my cheek and then my forehead. "Nah, you do scruffy pretty damned good, baby."

I chuckled, definitely feeling better than I had been. I picked up my phone and saw that it was early morning. It was difficult to tell with the snowy, overcast weather outside. Glancing at my phone again, I smirked.

"Well, happy anniversary."

Bella broke into a heartbreaking grin. "You, too." She pointed toward the window. "So much for doing something."

I laughed, which ended in a cough. "I'm not exactly sure lawn darts are gonna happen today."

Bella grinned. "No, sir. In fact, I'm not sure you should go any farther than the theater room." She reached for my face again, and I leaned into it as she trailed fingers along my jaw, across my brow, and back through my bed-head once more. "I didn't think… I wasn't sure that we'd celebrate…"

Tilting my head at her, I shifted on the bed and opened my arms. "C'mere…" I couldn't help but chuckle when she moved a little too quickly and scrambled into my arms. Instantly, I was surrounded by arms and legs and kisses pressed to my cheek and neck. "Hey, hey… Let me see your face."

She stopped, pulling back a little, and I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. Her eyes were a little bit more golden today as she gazed up at me through her long eyelashes.

Cupping either side of her sweet face, I brought her lips to mine for a soft yet brief kiss. "This, right here… This is a celebration all on its own, never mind what date it happens to be, Mrs. Masen." I picked up her hand and kissed her wedding rings. "In fact, every day since I got you back, I celebrate. Every smile you give me, a celebration. Every laugh, every kiss, every touch…I celebrate them all, my beautiful Bella, so today is just a bit… _more_."

Bella's chin trembled. "I love you, Edward."

"Love you, sweetheart."

"I was worried about you. Your fever got kinda high, but Carlisle said you were okay. I stayed with you, just in case."

Smiling, I kissed her again. "I'm okay. It's just the flu. You know how many kids I treated just last week?" I asked her with a bit of a laugh. "It was inevitable that I catch something."

"I don't like it. Someday, Edward…" She trailed off, glancing down to her fidgeting hands between us. "I can't lose you again, baby."

I pressed my forehead to hers, nuzzling her nose, and when her eyes met mine again, I said, "Then I think we have our decision, Bella." I shrugged a shoulder when her eyes widened. "It's an easy decision to make when you break it down. I never want to live without you either. I've talked to Carlisle, and what we are is rare – perfectly matched as humans and immortal mates." I took a deep breath and let it out, coughing and sniffling a little. "I think, and just…hear me out Bella. I think once this whole Victoria thing is over, I'll make arrangements to 'move away.' I know Carlisle may move his family. He hasn't decided yet, but he's mentioned it. Before they leave, we'll sit down with him and discuss details."

"Yeah, but, Edward… Your job, this life… I just…"

"I get all of that, but the fact of the matter is I _never_ want to feel the way I felt when I thought you were gone. And now, what I feel for you is stronger, deeper, and it's a choice that feels right."

"Are you _sure_?" she asked, shifting closer. "This whole thing, this life… It feels strange, and it's so painful. It's like nothing about yourself is under control anymore."

"Pain?" I questioned, laughing with no humor whatsoever. " _Pain_ was the memorial service I endured when I couldn't even find you. _Pain_ was unpacking an entire house, our whole lives in boxes, without you there. _Pain_ is the thought of being without you. So anything above that is a cake walk, sweetheart. I've thought about this continuously since I'd found out exactly what happened to you on that road in Forks; it's not a decision I've taken lightly. But it was the easiest decision I've made in a long time. Almost as easy as putting my mother's ring on this finger. Okay?" I pressed a kiss to her fingers.

She seemed to sag in relief, kissing my lips, despite my sick state. "Okay. When stuff settles down, we'll talk to Carlisle."

I nodded, losing myself in her sweet face, but I was still too weak to do much more than hold her.

"Esme's made you breakfast, so if you're feeling up to it, she's downstairs."

"Okay, let me grab a shower, and I'll head down there." I raised an eyebrow at her, unable to stop myself from teasing her. "Unless you want to join me."

Her giggle was silly and sweet. "I do, but I need to check in on Jake. He's been patrolling the woods north, closer to Canada."

"Fair enough," I said with a smile and one last kiss to her lips as I set her back onto the bed. "You can catch me up when I get down there."

My shower was long, steamy as I tried to clear my head of the fogginess of medicine and sickness. I shaved, too, thinking it would at least make me feel human again, instead of the feverish zombie I'd been the last couple of days. That thought made me snort a little and shake my head, considering the conversation I'd just had with my wife about _ending_ my human existence.

I was telling her the truth; it was easier than picking a college or even finding the courage to ask out the beautiful girl in the campus library. There was no life without Bella, and despite watching her struggles with immortality, I knew that there would be no regrets. My hope was when the time came, Bella would be there to help me, guide me – along with the rest of the Cullens, who had proven themselves trustworthy and kind.

The _only_ worry was Charlie. In all of this, I hadn't talked to the man much since Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, but he didn't need a daily call. He knew my schedule at the hospital was rigorous normally, but I hadn't checked on him lately. I knew I should. And I knew I needed to plant the seed that there was now a possibility that I'd be going away.

I sighed deeply at that thought as I stepped out of the shower and dried off. I rubbed my hair, trying to figure out exactly what to say. I'd come to love my father-in-law. I'd always respected him, even from the first moment Bella had introduced us, but he'd been there for me when I'd thought I'd lost everything. And he'd been dying inside. So I knew I owed him something.

I dressed warmly – jeans, thermal shirt, and a hooded sweatshirt – and it felt good to be up and about after sleeping almost a solid two days. I rubbed Steve's head before I left Bella's room, smiling when he curled up in the rumpled covers of the bed to sleep.

Not sure what I'd meet downstairs in the kitchen, I was surprised to find it was just Carlisle sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper open in front of him.

His smile was warm and welcoming as he pointed to the counter. "I'm fairly certain between my wife and yours that they made enough food for an army. Get what you can, because Jake and the pack will clean us out."

Grinning, I nodded, grabbing a plate. Once I sat down across from him, he folded his fingers together.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. Not perfect, but better." I nodded, taking a bite of pancakes.

"Good. That strain of flu going around these days is pretty strong. Some say it's a touch of whooping cough thrown in for good measure." He pointed a finger at me. "So see that you don't overdo it too much, even if you're feeling better."

"Yes, sir," I replied, continuing to poke at my breakfast. Finally, I looked back at him. "Carlisle?" When he glanced up, I frowned a little. "I'm not stupid, so I know you heard our conversation upstairs, so…"

He smiled contritely. "My vow to you still stands. You and Bella are my responsibility, considering we caused this chain of events, so I'm here for you both – no matter what choices you make. And I understand you've been thinking on this for some time. You're not frivolous, Edward. You know the consequences, you've seen things in this house, and your endless patience with Bella, despite her mood swings, is a testament to how levelheaded you are. If you want this life, I will help you."

"Thank you." I nodded. "I just… There's one thing I need to consider." I paused, and when Carlisle looked to me, I sighed, grimacing a little. "Charlie."

Carlisle nodded, quietly folding up the newspaper and setting it aside. "Yes, he's quite a concern – for you and Bella." He shook his head a little, gazing down at his hands folded on the table. "Bella's had no choice but to step out of her father's life, but I know from discussions with Jake that you and Charlie leaned on each other through an extraordinarily tough time."

I set my fork down, nodding a bit. "I honestly don't know what I would've done without him, but I also know that things must remain a secret, that he can't really know… _anything_. I know we can't stay, that we'll eventually have to leave. It just seems unfair to leave him alone."

Carlisle hummed in agreement. "Jake has already promised Bella that he'd watch over her father, but I know it's not the same. This choice you're making comes with some consequences, Edward. It's fact. Unfortunately, Charlie will be one of those sacrifices. I can tell you from experience that the best way – or really, the easiest way – is to stay in touch as you slowly pull away, as if life is taking over. In reality, if you were to move away, it would only make sense that you move on away from your past and losses. You keep in touch, but you eventually stop."

I sighed deeply, resulting in coughing and eventually another nose-blowing episode. Rolling my eyes toward Carlisle's chuckle, I shook my head.

"Please get some more rest today. We'll talk about this some more later. I've got to check in with everyone in just a bit. They're all meeting here."

As he said that, Bella walked in with Jake and Leah in their human forms. Their faces were somber. Jake and Leah made their plates, sitting down at the table with us. Bella came to my side and leaned against me.

"Victoria's playing with us," Jake finally said, shaking his head as he took an enormous bite of scrambled eggs.

Leah looked at her imprint with disgust at his eating habits but then turned to Carlisle. "She's using the newborns to send us on chases, and while we've taken a few of them out, they're still out there."

"Is she taking you farther and farther away?" he asked her.

"Sometimes," Jake answered instead. "Honestly, I think she's testing us. We were a shock to the first few bloodsuckers that showed up, so I think she's using her newborns to see what we can do."

"There seems to be one, though… A young boy," Leah continued while Jake shoveled food into his face. "He likes to stay away, hang back a little, so that when the chase starts, he's… _poof_ – gone."

"It's like he's observing them or callin' the shots. I'm not sure," Jake said, glancing up when a few more of the pack walked in through the front door, along with Esme, Rose, and Alice.

The latter plopped herself down next to me, her face serious. "All decisions lead here. To you."

"That's not new," I rasped, my voice still iffy with the coughing.

"No, it's not. Neither is your decision," she said, tilting her head, but her smile and her eyes gave away the fact that my choice to change made her happy.

My chuckle turned into a cough, but I nodded. I liked Alice, in spite of her almost meddlesome talent. I could tell she truly cared for Bella, that she had cheered us on from behind the scenes when both of us were suffering without each other. She may have been frozen at nineteen, but there was an old soul inside her that had seen some not-so-nice things. But there was also a childlike wonder and hopeless romantic in her that made her one of the easiest members of the Cullen family to be around. Her husband was the other, though Jasper had seen some truly dark times in his very long life. It was in his eyes, scarred on almost every inch of his hard skin – scars that were barely visible in certain lighting, but they were there. He'd told me a bit of how he'd received them.

The entire kitchen became a din of noise, supernatural beings speaking so quickly that I had no chance of keeping up. I caught words like plans, bait, fight, newborn, and I heard my name tossed around in there somewhere, but I couldn't make heads or tails of much of it. I blamed the cold, the meds, or simply the fact that they spoke too fast, and my patience ran out, which caused me to sigh deeply. I coughed a little and then picked my plate up from the table and walked it into the kitchen, where Esme met me with a warm smile.

"You need more rest, Edward," she stated gently, taking the plate from me and setting it in the sink. "Even if you just 'veg out' in front of the TV, like my kids say."

I grinned at that, because technically, she was about two years younger than me and only four years older in human years than those she considered her "kids" – never mind immortal years – but she doted on them all like a mother would; it was a role she took seriously. And for some reason, she'd taken a liking to me, spoiling me. It was truly a feeling I'd lost with the death of my mother. Grandmother, for all her caring ways, wasn't my mother, so Esme had slowly started to fill a role I hadn't really known was missing.

As much as I wanted to hear/participate with the conversation concerning Victoria and the newborns, I didn't have the ability to concentrate, much less keep up when they truly got going as more members of the pack joined in along with the Denalis. I knew they were going to split up into groups, work together with the pack in order to corral the army into a place they wanted them, but as for me, there wasn't much I could do, so I made my way upstairs.

The theatre room was painted a dark gray. There were no windows in the room, but there were three rows of theatre chairs, the largest flatscreen TV I'd ever seen, and speakers almost as tall as me. Along the back of the room was shelf upon shelf of DVDs and Blu-Rays, and I was pretty sure some weren't exactly released publicly yet. Every gaming console known to man was stored on a shelf all their own, with all the top games I'd ever heard of and some I hadn't.

The door opened and closed behind me, and I smiled, turning to see Bella entering the room.

"Action, comedy, drama…or classic?" I offered, holding up four cases.

Her smile was soft and sweet. "Classic. I know you love them."

Smiling, I put the rest back and started the movie where awkward Jimmy Stewart gets wrapped up in the goings-on of the apartment building surrounding him as he suffers a broken leg, while the stunning Grace Kelly puts up with all his ramblings yet loves him anyway.

"Fitting, Edward," Bella teased me with a beautiful, deep laugh. " _Rear Window_. You feel like Jimmy Stewart in this situation?"

Grinning, I settled down in a chair, kissing the top of her head when she curled in next to me. "A bit," I whispered into her hair. "I can only observe, not participate. And there's an element of danger around, so… Sure."

She turned to face me, ignoring the opening credits. "We will stop her, baby. They're doing everything they can. Just remember your promise… If we tell you to run and hide, go. Don't think. We'll find you."

Nodding, I curled her up next to me, relishing the effects of the medicine kicking in and the full stomach I had. It wasn't long until even the antics of the apartment dwellers on the large screen couldn't keep my attention, and my eyes slipped closed as I kept Bella close.

 **~o~EID~o~**

A thundering crash snapped me awake what seemed like minutes later. At first, I thought it was a part of the movie, but I could see it was long over, with merely the home screen playing on repeat. The second thought I'd had was that Bella wasn't in the room.

Rubbing my face, I sat up, a cough racking my frame, which usually brought someone running – Carlisle, Esme, Bella – but I heard nothing.

Something felt… _wrong_.

As foggy as my mind was with sickness and with just having woken up, I calculated all my options and then snorted when I realized that I was kind of shit out of luck. My heartbeat alone was a beacon to whatever vampire was around – good or bad. My scent was warm human compared to the falling snow outside, and my speed was nothing near what they could do. All of that meant my options were slim.

Stepping quietly from the theatre seats, I gazed around. The lack of windows was a disadvantage, but the soundproofing dulled whatever noise I was about to make. I knew if I could leave the theatre and get across the hallway, I'd be in Carlisle's study, which had plenty of windows and French doors out to a deck. It was a faulty plan at best, but it was all I had. As I slowly and carefully turned the doorknob, I grimaced at the sound of smashing and laughter, growling and whispers. My first thought was that this wasn't Victoria but her newborns.

I opened the door as quietly as I could, gasping when Steve was on the other side. He was black-eyed and twitchy, and his tail was bottle-brush puffy, but he barely made a sound my way before turning toward the other doorway of Carlisle's study. He pawed at the closed door and then darted inside the room when I cracked the door just enough for us to slip through as silently as we could. I shut it behind us as carefully, thinking none of these wooden doors were going to stop these vampires, never mind they could hear everything we were doing. However, all I could think was that outside was better than being trapped in the Cullens' cabin with them.

Across the room was Carlisle's desk, and behind it was the French doors out onto the wooden deck. Snow was piled up as tall as the deck railing, and it continued to fall heavily with gusts of wind occasionally making it smack against the glass panes of the windows.

The desk was covered with notes, maps, and a handful of lighters, and not just cheap plastic ones but the metal ones that could take weather, water, and wind. The latter made me curious, until I realized that the only way for a vampire to dispose of another vampire was to tear them apart and burn the pieces. I took one, along with a folded map, and spun toward the door when the destruction of the Cullen home still continued outside the room. I shook my head, wishing I'd thought to grab my phone, but it was still upstairs on the nightstand in Bella's room. There was no time to get it, and there was no time to think. The crashing sound from theatre room was too close, and I needed to move.

Pulling the hood up on my sweatshirt and stuffing the lighter and map into the front pocket, I crept to the deck doors. I glanced over my shoulder, pushing them open and urging Steve out into the storm. I had to get him out to keep him safe. They'd already tried to hurt him at my house, and we hadn't been home, so I couldn't imagine what they'd do to him in order to get to me. Another explosion of noise had me scooping the cat up and escaping out the door.

"Shit," I gasped at the frigid temperature that cut through everything I was wearing. No jacket, no boots, just a long-sleeved shirt, hoodie, jeans, and sneakers.

I could barely see through the flurries, but I knew Esme's garden shed was straight ahead, and that was where I ran as fast as I could, despite the snow. Once inside, I set Steve down on the closest worktable, leaning back against the door. It was a trap, but if I could leave Steve in there away from the newborns _and_ out of the elements, then it was a win.

However, it was stupid to think a shed – even a shed as high-end as Esme's – would keep the newborns out. I heard them coming, and I glanced around to find something, anything that would help me either brace the door, or defend myself, which was a ridiculous notion. They were impervious, and they could break into anything. The first thing that caught my eye wasn't the rake but the can of bug spray. Fiddling with the lighter in my hoodie pocket, I made a decision and stuck to it.

"Steve, stay back," I muttered, flicking the flint until the flame was the only light in the shed.

The newborns moved silently, but they made enough noise on the other side of the door to give me a chance to ready myself. The very second the shed doors were ripped from their hinges, I sprayed the can through the flame, causing a flamethrower effect. Two very young, red-eyed vampires – a man and a woman – shrieked in shock and surprise, because they may have been impervious to any weapons I may have had and my fire wasn't going to end them, but their clothes were instantly aflame, which caused their flesh to smolder. The smell of immortal skin burning was spicy, almost the scent of incense – smoky, choking, dreadful. They flailed, tossing the remnants of the door in several directions, and one piece of wood caught the side of my head. I shook my head to clear it and then shot another shower of fire their way.

Their pain was enough pause for Steve and me to get out of the shed. Not knowing exactly which way to turn in the falling snow, I followed the ginger cat into the woods. Steve's four legs versus my two, despite our size difference, meant he pulled ahead until I could only see his footprints in the snow. The benefit of the woods, though, was that the wind wasn't as harsh. I don't know how far into the woods we went, but when I finally caught up to my cat, he was arched up, puffy and hissing.

As if my cold wasn't enough to cause the pounding in my head, the bump from the door was making it worse, and I could barely see to where he was glaring. All I could tell was that he was pissed. His head swiveled around as something or someone shifted in the trees, using the snow as cover. They moved so very fast, and just when I expected red hair, I frowned in confusion when a tall, young boy with light-brown hair stepped out of nowhere.

His red eyes gave him away. His sneer was fierce, and his hands were balled into fists. I could hear noises, voices, growls out in the woods, but I couldn't exactly tell if they were friend or more newborns, much less from which direction they were coming. And a prickling sensation crawled across my skin when I realized someone was right behind me.

"Oh, she's far, far away," the eerie voice cooed in my ear, and I closed my eyes when it dawned on me that Victoria had worked very hard to make this work in her favor. "I've made sure she wasn't around when I came. None of them are. Not even those mongrels."

Turning to face her, I caught more movement off behind her, and what I saw made me smile.

"You're about to die, and you smile?" she asked, reaching up to trail a finger across my face, which made my skin crawl.

I was used to the immortal touch – Bella's touch, and even Esme's… – but Victoria's touch was like being touched by a corpse.

There was another shift behind her, and I smirked again her way as I shook my head and looked her in the eye. "You won't live through this. Whether you kill me or not, Victoria, this is it for you. If the Cullens don't kill you, the wolves will. And I'm not sure my wife won't take her time with you should something happen to me."

I shrugged a shoulder, but my gaze drifted behind her again, locking with the amber eyes of Jacob's wolf form. I knew him; I knew that he was mentally commanding his pack, that should he move in too soon alone, things could get nasty. At the moment, he was outnumbered with Victoria and her young male friend. He shook his head one, slow time.

Bracing myself, I looked back to Victoria. "So…apparently, I'm not the only one about to die. What do we do now?"

With a maniacal smile, she reached back and then shoved me as hard as she could. The sensation of flying was startling and over in an instant. It was the sudden stop that had the snow, my surroundings, and my consciousness fading away.

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… Before the yelling begins, I promise all answers will come. The** _ **whys**_ **are plentiful, I'm sure, because all of my pre-readers asked the same question:** _ **Where the hell was Bella?**_ **Hang in there… and please TRUST ME. ;)**

 **UPDATES… Okay, so I'd been working on this particular chapter for 2 weeks, and I wanted you guys to have** _ **something**_ **, even if it was a cliffie. Sorry about that. I have** _ **got**_ **to work on** _ **Six**_ **with Jenny next, so the next chapter of this story may run behind, and I've got big notes/plans/directions for it, but it has to wait until I've caught up with all my obligations. Luckily, my schedule has settled down at work…not perfect, but better. I'm getting over a cold (Edward and I have that ugly shit in common) and I'll being working on signing paperback orders this week, too, so again, I thank you guys for your patience.**

 **Okie dokie… I think that's it. You can reach me at the usual places. Until next time (here or** _ **Six**_ **)… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	12. Fade to Black

**A/N… I know, I know, I know! It's been too long. I apologize profusely. RL work, then my wrist decided to crap out on me, so typing with an Ace bandage is pretty much impossible, and then… Blah… You get it. And I thank you for your patience.**

 **Let's recap… Edward woke up alone in the Cullen home to find himself in some deep vampire trouble. He got out of the house, nailed a few nasty newborns with some fire, and then ran smack into Victoria.**

 **This picks up with Bella this time. I'll get out of your way. See me at the bottom…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 12 – Fade to Black**

 _I'll miss the winter  
A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest  
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears_

 _(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath  
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself  
(Calling me, calling me) Are all my thoughts of you?  
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight_

 _Closing your eyes to disappear,_  
 _You pray your dreams will leave you here;_  
 _But still you wake and know the truth,_  
 _No one's there..._

 _Say goodnight,_  
 _Don't be afraid,_  
 _Calling me, calling me as you fade to black._

" _Holding My Last Breath" by Evanescence_

 **BELLA**

Jimmy Stewart rambled on about the apartment dwellers around him to his stunning girlfriend, Grace Kelly. The theater room glowed with the bright colors of the old movie as the snowstorm outside pushed against the Cullens' home.

Turning to my side, I took in the way more interesting view in the room. A smile curled my lips as my handsome husband slowly succumbed to the cold he was dealing with at the same time the medicine started to work. Long, dark eyelashes rested against pale, feverish cheeks, and deep breathing caused his chest to rise and fall slowly, but I could hear his lungs, the congestion. He was better than twenty-four hours ago, but he wasn't completely over this flu.

Edward was – and always would be – the most amazing and important thing in the room. He was, without a doubt, the most beautiful person I'd ever met – heart, body, soul. I shook my head as I reached over, evaluating and then controlling my new strength, in order to brush his hair lightly from his forehead.

Six years of memories and love and smiles flashed through my mind as I took the opportunity to simply stare at him. I knew the second I laid eyes on the gorgeous yet shy guy in the UW library that he was it for me. I was done. The green eyes, the strong jawline, and his sweet, boyish smile were just the tip of the iceberg. Edward was kind and giving, loving and protective. The moment we met, we were instantly friends. The first kiss on our first real date, though, and I was his completely.

Smiling to myself, I leaned in and pressed a light kiss to his temple. "I love you," I whispered against his warm – almost too warm – skin.

"Mm," he hummed in his sleepy state, making me chuckle a bit.

This wasn't the first time I'd watched him sleep since my change. It also wasn't the first time I'd reached out to touch him as he was oblivious to my presence. I'd lost count of how many nightmares I'd tried to soothe away as Edward cried out in his sleep. Sadness would rip from his broken heart as he fought grief and pain. Watching him attempt to accept my "death" was torture. Watching him sleep now was comforting.

I wasn't sure there was a force on the planet that could keep me away from him. Laying my head on his chest as he slept contentedly through the movie he'd chosen, I listened to his steadily beating heart, ignoring the rattle of his lungs. Closing my eyes, I thought back to our first date, moving in together, bringing home the little ginger kitten I'd insisted on naming Steve, our small yet beautiful wedding, and finally buying our first home. All the steps that brought us here were so important – UW classes, study dates, late-night phone calls, Edward's acceptance into medical school.

My brow furrowed a little. None of it was perfect, but all of it made us better.

The first time Edward had told me he'd lost his parents as a child and then meeting his amazing grandmother were important steps when we were dating. Introducing Edward to my father and Jacob was another. These were all the normal steps throughout our relationship that meant everything.

Moving in together was another moment that seemed to move our relationship along faster than most, but Edward knew that medical school would be a hard, busy time, so he wanted us together. Always. He wanted to know that even though his nose was buried in books and his time was taken up by classes and labs, he could still come home to me, that he could reach out for me at any point, and he could spoil me, even when he wasn't home.

Edward's warm arm pulled me closer in his sleep, and I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply the scent of him. He was all things warmth and love and protection, except that last thing had changed.

I carefully sat up to look at him. He'd always been the epitome of strength to me. He'd carried on through the death of his parents, and he'd taken care of his grandmother when most boys his age were out partying, drinking, and going out with girls. He was brilliant and talented – the latter as a doctor _and_ as a musician. And even though he rarely talked about it, I knew that losing his grandmother last year had been truly hard on him. He'd lost that last remaining tie to family, which made me the sole purpose and center of his sweet, amazing heart. My Edward had also worked so damn hard to get through medical school ahead of his class that he was one of the youngest residents at Harbor Medical Center.

And if all of that didn't make him the strongest man I knew, then this new development around us practically made him invincible in my eyes.

Taking his warm hand, I gently played with his long fingers. We were so different now, I silently noted as I placed my hand palm to palm with his. In fact, at that very moment, I could hear his breathing, smell the breakfast he'd eaten, and feel the blood rushing through his veins as I trailed a finger over the inside of his wrist. In comparison to what I'd now become, he was as fragile as the petal of a flower.

What I'd now become…

Shaking my head at that thought, I brought his hand to my lips and pressed kisses to his knuckles as I wrinkled my nose at the word _vampire_.

The memory of the night my tire had blown out in Forks just after leaving my dad's house was sharp, almost too clear. I'd pulled off to the side of the road, calling Edward to let him know and then calling my dad to come help me. I wasn't sure I'd completely tucked my phone into the back pocket of my jeans before the crash in the trees behind me had just about scared me senseless. I'd been picked up and hurting before I could register the tall, blond man holding me by my neck. The piercing pain of my collarbone cracking with his strength had overwhelmed the sense of being held against my will, and I'd barely seen the large forms that had gathered around us – James's friends, the pack of enormous wolves, and the Cullens.

When James had laughingly bit my wrist, the collarbone wasn't even in the same range of pain. It was as if acid had been poured into me, starting at my arm and snaking throughout my entire body, even when he dropped me to the ground. Pure agony. And through that excruciating pain, all I'd wanted was the sweet face in front of me.

I'd begged for Edward when I'd been dropped onto the ground of that roadside. I'd begged for Edward when Carlisle's face appeared in my hazy vision. I'd begged for Edward throughout three burning days of my change into immortality. When I woke up, I stopped begging and started _demanding_ Edward. The thought made me smile now, but I'd wanted nothing to do with anyone trying to help me. At the time, not one of them could bring me comfort, especially since I hadn't known the Cullens.

Not even Jacob – my best friend since we were children – could make things okay. Nothing had been okay. However, the reality was that I would've never gotten through the first few weeks without Jake. His vow to help Edward, and then to watch over him and my father, was one of the things that meant everything to me. His constant pushing of the Cullens to keep me close was another.

Looking at my Edward right then, knowing that he was still here, that he still loved me with the same – perhaps even larger – fierceness that he'd always had was the light at the end of a tunnel I'd been forced to travel. It was all I could do not to wake him just so I could tell him I loved him and hear it said back to me like he always did, with a sweet smile, a tilt to his head, and a warmth in those beautiful green eyes. I'd wanted to kiss him like crazy when he told me that very morning that he wanted this life, wanted an eternity with me. He'd made the decision without even batting an eye.

And suddenly, my world wasn't such a wrecked place. I wasn't overloaded or overwhelmed with this thing I'd become, but instead, a life of love and peace spread out in front of me – lifetimes of smiles and secrets and kisses.

Grinning, I bit down on my bottom lip to keep my urge to wake him under control. As much as he wouldn't have minded, I wanted him to rest. I wanted him better. This cold had hit him quickly, but Carlisle said it was going around, that Edward pretty much had to sleep it off.

I sighed deeply, starting to lay my head back on his chest, when my advanced hearing started to pick up on things outside the theater room. Getting up, I pressed a long, light kiss to Edward's feverish forehead, whispering I loved him, and then stepped out into the hallway.

"Oh, Bella…we've got a problem," Jasper muttered, stepping into Carlisle's study to grab a lighter and peek out the window.

"Victoria?"

"Nope. Charlie."

My mouth fell open. "You're joking."

"I wish I was, but your dad's here," he said through a frustrated sigh. "You have to stay low, stay hidden. Carlisle and Esme are going to try to get rid of him, but he's puttin' out some serious determination. I wish I knew why, but…" He shrugged, but his gaze shot toward the window when the eerie sound of a wolf's howl barely broke through the heavy snow falling outside.

" _That's_ Victoria…" My still heart sinking as my eyes betrayed me. I glanced from the window to the closed door of the theater room.

"Shit!" Jasper hissed, nodding as he told me to stay quiet before he stepped out into the stormy weather, closing the French doors behind him. I could hear him call for Rose and Alice to join him. Emmett was already out there.

Movement out the windows caught my eye, and I saw _way_ more than just the Cullens and wolves shifting around out there. Blurs of running vampires who were circling the house began to get closer and closer.

I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't leave Edward, but I couldn't have them move in while my dad was here either. I darted up the stairs to my bedroom and straight to the window, scaring poor Steve to hide under the bed, but I couldn't help it. I gazed down at the front door. My dad stood there angry and, like Jasper had said, determined.

"I haven't heard from my son-in-law in two weeks, Dr. Cullen!" he practically snarled, holding up two fingers. "I drive to his home, and it's locked up tighter than a drum. Tell me where he is!"

"Chief Swan, please calm down," Carlisle tried to soothe him, but his eyes betrayed him, glancing briefly around at the activity going on out in the woods. Thankfully, the storm was hiding it from Charlie's human ears. "There is a rather nasty flu making its rounds, and Edward caught it. He's upstairs as we speak, but he's sleeping. I promise you I'll have him call you when he's feeling up to it."

"Why is he _here_?" my father asked suspiciously, pointing to the ground.

Carlisle smiled, and it was a bit sad to my eyes. "Well, I'd like to think that Edward and I have become good friends, and my wife offered to care for him while he was ill. We're aware he recently lost his wife and lives alone. We have the room, and Edward was too sick to argue."

My father blinked rapidly. I was a bit upset with Carlisle for using the recent widower angle, but it made sense, and it was something Charlie could understand.

"I wish he'd called me," Dad said sadly, shaking his head. "I worry about the boy. I can't help it. My Bella… She would've wanted me to watch over him. They loved each other. And he's so lost without her. I just…" He shrugged a shoulder, and my eyes burned with the need to cry.

"Oh, Dad," I breathed against the windowpane.

"He's mentioned it, Charlie," Esme stated gently. "We'll have him…call you." She stumbled out that answer, but it was because a young female vampire stepped from the edge of the woods behind Charlie.

"Shit," I breathed, throwing open the window. "Keep him distracted." My voice was only loud enough for Carlisle and Esme, not my father. Leaping as far as I could, I caught the newborn off guard as I tackled her to the forest floor, pinning her there until Charlie could get back into his cruiser.

The girl in my grip growled and fought beneath me, but I squeezed her neck tighter until I heard Charlie's car slowly make its way out of the Cullen driveway and down the street. Something hit me hard from the side, sending me skidding through the snow and colliding with a tall pine tree. Branches, pine cones, and globs of snow showered down around me and on top of me. Shaking it off, I stood up, facing what was now three newborns – two women and a young man.

Fighting had now broken out all around the house, and from what I could tell, it carried deep into the woods behind the Cullen home. I could hear Jasper, Rose, and Emmett all fighting, all taunting their opponents. I could also hear fighting coming from the house. And that was my mistake, turning to look toward the front door when I heard Carlisle and Esme defending the house. My first thought was about Edward. He was alone, asleep in a room that was essentially soundproof, and he was sick, which made him frailer than the normal human. I needed to get back to him. I needed to place myself between him and all that was aiming our way, but when my attention was distracted for just that split second, I was attacked by the three newborns in front of me.

The two girls went to tackle me to the ground, but I took to the trees, where the male followed. Up and up, I then leaped to the next tree and the next. I tried to keep close to the house, circle it, keep it in sight, but I could tell the three were pushing me and working their way farther and farther away from the _one damn thing_ I needed to stay near.

"Mother _fucker_ ," I hissed, shaking my head as I turned to leap to the ground, taking an offensive position rather than the defensive. "I'm not running!" I snarled, landing hard in the snow.

One of the females started for me, her hair now wet from the snow around us. I launched myself toward her, and something deep inside of me, something I'd merely felt the bare hint of, surfaced so quickly, I barely had time to control it. My arms wrapped around her midsection, dropping us both back to the snow. The force inside me pushed out hard, shoving the other two newborns several yards into the forest. Shrubs, drifts of snow, and a few small saplings uprooted in a perfect circle around me, blocking out even the falling snow over us. With a growl and a twist of my hands, I removed the newborn's head, dropping it several feet away as I tried to pull in whatever it was I'd pushed out of me.

Alice rushed to the edge of it. Her eyes were wide as she looked it over. "Pull it back, Bella! We have to go! _Now_!"

Closing my eyes, I struggled to get myself under control. I'd heard Eleazar and Carlisle more than one time mention the word _shield_ , but I hadn't truly understood it until now. I swallowed thickly, letting out a long breath, and the shield slowly evaporated.

Once it was down, Alice moved instantly, grabbing me by the hand. "Now, Bella! She's got Edward!"

The snarl that escaped me shook the ground, and I followed Alice back through the woods, across the backyard of the house, and my mouth fell open at the sight of the two newborns I had launched away with my shield. They were writhing and screaming in agony as they fought flames that were devouring their clothes, immortal skin, and hair. On the ground in front of Esme's garden shed was a lighter and a can of bug spray, and Edward's scent swirled in the air, but it was the footprints leading into the woods on the opposite side of the house that I followed. One set was human and the other feline. Steve and Edward had both aimed for the woods.

Alice and I followed their winding and slippery path into the trees. As we got closer, I caught the scents of Victoria, Jake, Leah, and Emmett. But the scent that was strongest was of my Edward. It was pounding heartbeats pushing loads of adrenaline. It was warmth and a slightly fevered state, and it was pure fear, but you'd never know it, because as Alice and I drew closer, his voice met our ears.

"I'm not the only one about to die. What do we do now?" he said bravely.

Alice and I pushed through shrubbery and snow drifts just as Victoria's patience snapped and she did the one thing I'd tried to prevent since the beginning: she touched my husband, shoving him so hard, his feet actually lifted off the ground before he crashed to the cold, hard, snow-covered ground.

I exploded out of the trees, tackling Victoria at the same time Jake's enormous wolf form joined me. It was chaos, fur, and screams, red hair and claws. We weren't the only two in the mix either. A young boy with light-brown hair tackled Jake, and they rolled away, destroying the woods as they went. Victoria's fight was frantic and strong, and more than one time she almost slipped out of my grasp, but Alice moved in and then Emmett's strong arms finally locked around the woman who had been tormenting us for the last three months.

Everything came to a standstill when we heard a warning growl behind us.

"Let her go, or he dies!"

Emmett's strength didn't relent, but he did stop squeezing harder and harder on her neck. The blond boy had Edward in his grasp, and despite the push he'd taken, he was already starting to come around again.

"Edward, baby…stop fighting!" I warned him, but he was out of it, bleary-eyed and groggy.

His eyes squeezed closed, his hands clawed at the boy's arm, and his feet kicked at the snow-covered ground. My eyes drifted just beyond the boy. Jake shifted silently through the trees,while Jasper was working his way from the other side. More and more movement started to draw closer – all of us, the Denalis, and the wolves.

And finally, Carlisle stepped into the middle of it all.

"Kill him, Riley!" Victoria rasped out.

Alice and I started forward, but Riley lifted Edward higher, rougher, and we came to a stop. Both of us looked to Carlisle for help.

"Riley, is it? Riley Biers. You're a local boy. Went missing about three months ago. Not far from Forks, and not long after James got himself killed."

Riley's deep-red eyes widened just a bit, but he shrugged, his gaze locked on to Victoria, who had become really quiet as she stared at my husband in what seemed like pure hatred.

"You killed her mate," Riley stated, though he started to sound unsure.

"You're right. We did," Carlisle agreed, smiling sadly. "He'd been warned, along with Victoria. All we'd asked was that they leave the area, leave the humans alone and move on, but he didn't listen. Now, I'm going to give you the same warning, Riley. Let him go, or face the same fate."

Very rarely did Carlisle drop the gentle, human doctor façade. It was just who he was, even though he was immortal like everyone around him. But right at that moment, he meant it. Riley wouldn't leave the Cullen property. Not in one piece, and most likely he'd blow away as ash.

I turned to Victoria when Riley did. He was looking for guidance, but all he was met with was indifference. However, it was the human heartbeat that was starting to pound and then slow down that got my attention. Edward was freezing out there in the falling snow, and it didn't help that he was sick, feverish, and had probably gotten hurt when he'd been pushed.

"Carlisle," I whimpered, looking from my struggling husband to the man who had promised to help us, help me. "Please," I barely breathed aloud.

I couldn't lose Edward. Not again. And not to Victoria. She'd already taken too much. I'd lost my human life, my ability to give my sweet husband a family, and I'd lost almost three months with the one person who meant the most to me. No, she couldn't have any more from Edward and me.

"Let him go," I stated, stepping forward toward Riley. He shifted nervously on his feet, glancing around him. When he realized they were completely surrounded, he held Edward like a shield, which reminded me of what had happened during the fight just mere minutes ago.

Alice's eyes snapped to mine, and she nodded. "Yes." She turned to Carlisle. "Now."

Carlisle nodded solemnly, calling Emmett's name as a command. With barely any struggle, Victoria's head was removed cleanly, her scream cutting off abruptly, and that sound was immediately replaced by the snarls of the wolves nearby, who jumped in to finish tearing her apart.

Riley's shock gave me my opening. Pushing out from within, I stepped forward in order to catch Edward in my arms before Riley could grab him again, although the newborn was trapped beneath my shield too.

I settled Edward down against the tree trunk, brushing the damp hair from his beautiful face. "I've got you, baby," I whispered, but his eyes slipped closed again. "Edward?" I cried, growling when there was no answer. Rounding on Riley, I shook my head as he backed away from me slowly. "There's no escape."

He continued backing up until he reached the edge of my shield. When he decided to attack, I ducked, lifted my shield, and he was in the jaws of Jake's wolf form before he could touch back down to the ground.

Carlisle and I moved as one, dropping down on either side of Edward. Carlisle was assessing, listening, smelling; I was simply a mess. And suddenly my ginger cat was standing on my husband's chest, ears back, growl rumbling, and teeth bared as he hissed at all of us.

"Steve," I gasped, reaching for him, and he swatted claws my way, but I caught him up in my arms. "Steve, stop. We're trying to help him," I said but shot a panicked glance at Carlisle. "Right? You can help him?"

"We've got to get him warm, Bella," he stated, slipping his hands gently beneath Edward and lifting him up into a cradled position. "I'll do everything I can. I need to check him over."

Steve growled low at all of us until I ran a hand over his head, and even then, he still glared.

Before Carlisle turned to head back to the house, he spoke to Jasper. "Burn them. You probably have just enough of this weather to cover it."

Jasper nodded and began to give directions to everyone around us.

I followed Carlisle and a frighteningly quiet Edward back to the house, where Esme was holding the door for us. The fear that crossed her face at the sight of my husband came nowhere near what I was feeling inside.

Once Carlisle had Edward settled on my bed upstairs, he put the heat on in the house and told Esme to warm him up some clothes in the dryer. He moved methodically, almost too slow, removing Edward's freezing, soaked jeans, sneakers, and hoodie. My patience was wearing thin as I set Steve down on the chair in the corner of the room, closing the door.

When my husband was stripped of the wet clothing, Carlisle checked him over. Every bump, bruise, and vital was checked. He ran his fingers gently through Edward's hair to the back of his head, grimacing at what must have been a pretty big bump. He lifted Edward's eyelids, using his phone's flashlight to check his pupils. Lastly, he poked at the bottom of Edward's feet, nodding solemnly, but said nothing.

Esme tapped on the door, holding out soft, warm, blue-plaid pajamas. I took them from her with a thank you and helped Carlisle re-dress my husband, adding warm socks to his feet.

By the time we'd settled him under the covers with an extra one on top for good measure, Edward started to stir. Bleary eyes fluttered open, and deep, tired green searched the room.

"B-Bella?"

"Baby, I'm right here." I sat down on the edge of the bed, pushing his hair from his forehead. "I'm so sorry, Edward. They came at us from every angle, Charlie showed up, and…and…"

A shaky, cold hand reached up to cup my face as he shook his head. "As long as you're okay, sweetheart."

I snorted, shaking my head. I wanted to roll my eyes at that statement, considering he was the one who had taken the brunt of it all. Leaning down, I brushed my lips over his.

"Talk to me, Edward. Tell me what hurts."

His brow furrowed, and his chest rattled terribly with congestion. He shivered a little, and a cough shook the whole bed.

"Everything."

My eyes burned with the need to cry, because I couldn't stand the thought of him in pain, suffering. I shot a panicked glance over my shoulder to Carlisle, who came to kneel beside the bed.

"Edward, you took quite the bump," he started, picking up Edward's wrist and feeling his pulse. "With your weakened state and the push that Victoria gave you, I think you've got a few broken ribs, a concussion, and if my sense of smell is correct, there may be some internal bleeding. I'd need to get you to the hospital to know for sure. X-rays, MRIs, some pain medication…" Carlisle trailed off, glancing to me and back to Edward. "The fact that you were already sick and then went out into the storm… Edward, I worry that moving you…the hour drive to HMC…"

Carlisle stopped talking when Edward coughed again, and it was deep, sounding painful and thick.

Carlisle stood up and walked to the end of the bed, pulling the covers away from Edward's feet. "We have another issue." He poked the bottom of Edward's foot, and there was nothing. No movement, no reflex. "Did you feel that?"

Edward's face scrunched up, and he shook his head, coughing again.

Suddenly, panic hit me full force, and I grabbed Carlisle by the front of his shirt. "You promised me!" I snarled, but really I wanted to cry. "You swore to me you'd protect him. You did this to me; you _owe me_!"

"Isabella," I heard weakly behind me, and I spun to rush back to Edward. "Don't, baby," he pleaded, shaking his head a little. "I went outside. I…I…" He coughed again, and when he could speak, he reached for my face. "Victoria?" he asked, swallowing thickly.

"She's dead. All of them are." I spoke through gritted teeth and hate. "They'll never touch us again."

"Then it's over, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then I think we've already discussed this, sweetheart," he whispered, glancing over my shoulder to Carlisle. "I can't lose her again, Carlisle. And she…"

I leaned over him, placing my hands on either side of his feverish face. "You want this?" I asked, and he nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. I dropped my forehead to his. "Me, too."

"Bella, we'd already made the choice," Edward rasped, but his breathing was getting shorter, choppier. "I'm okay. I want this."

"Me, too."

"Carlisle swore to me he'd help."

"Yes, me, too."

"I love you, Mrs. Masen."

"Love you, Edward." I glanced over my shoulder. "Please, Carlisle. Please… You can't… You have to."

Carlisle opened the door to the room, telling Esme to keep everyone downstairs and to prepare for what was about to come.

He closed the door again, looking to me. "How's your thirst, Bella?"

"I'd never hurt him," I vowed, gazing back at my husband, whose eyes had slipped closed again. "But I don't know if I can…"

"I'll help you," he promised.

Nodding, I leaned over Edward, pressing a kiss to his hot forehead. "Baby, open your eyes. Look at me." When sleepy, pain-filled green opened back to me, I smiled, though it felt more like a grimace. "This will be painful, Edward, but when it's over, you'll be healed. You'll be like me."

"Okay," he breathed. "You'll be here?"

"I won't leave you. Ever again, baby. I swear it. I'll be here through it all."

Carlisle came closer as Edward nodded, seemingly placated with my answer.

"So…" my husband whispered, a small smile quirking up his lips. "I'll see you 'round, Bella?"

A dry sob mixed with an incredulous laugh escaped me, and I leaned in, pressing my lips to his almost roughly. Carlisle picked up my husband's hand, turned it over so that the wrist was exposed, and nodded my way.

"Yeah, Edward… I'll see you 'round."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… Everyone take a deep breath. ;) We'll be back with Edward next chapter. I'm working on that now, so as soon as it's done, I'll get it posted. And no, I'm abandoning this, but I am struggling with schedules and tendon issues, so please have patience.**

 **Okay, I'll see you on the next post. For those reading** _ **Six**_ **, hang in there for that too. Jenny had a death in her family, which can wreck a muse, and my schedule wasn't helping mine, so bear with us.**

 **Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	13. Springtime of My Life

**A/N… I think this is the chapter you've wanted. ;) I'll get out of your way…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 13 – Springtime of My Life**

 _Hang on to your hopes, my friend  
That's an easy thing to say, but if your hopes should pass away  
Simply pretend  
That you can build them again  
Look around, the grass is high  
The fields are ripe, it's the springtime of my life_

 _Ahhh, seasons change with the scenery_  
 _Weaving time in a tapestry_  
 _Won't you stop and remember me_

 _But look around, leaves are brown now_  
 _And the sky is a hazy shade of winter_

 _Look around, leaves are brown_  
 _There's a patch of snow on the ground..._

" _Hazy Shade of Winter" by The Bangles (originally by Simon & Garfunkel)_

 **EDWARD**

" _Yeah, Edward… I'll see you 'round."_

Bella's promise repeated over and over in my mind when my body felt like it was giving out on me. I felt weak and physically achy until everything that was hurting paled in comparison to the fiery hell that started in my wrist and hand, traveling quickly up my arm.

The flu, the pain in my ribs, the bump on the back of my head, my back – _nothing_ came close to the molten lava that was now spreading throughout my entire body. Logically, I knew it was Carlisle's venom, along with Bella's as she tried to help him. I knew how the change worked. Jasper had explained it. Carlisle had explained it. And my Bella had explained it. I was educated on exactly how the venom pushed through the circulatory system, eradicating everything human in its path, while at the same time healing, strengthening, hardening, and killing.

The illogical part of me wanted to beg for death, beg for an end to all the pain. But I didn't.

Bones snapped back into place in my ribcage. My head felt like a billion bees were stinging my brain all at once. My lungs seemed to shrink, making it harder to breathe than when I'd been sick, but when they finally expanded again, I could inhale deeply enough to grunt out a pain-filled sound. The congestion, the sickness…even the fever was gone, replaced by the ability to smell _everything_.

I could smell Steve – and his food bowl, his litter box, and his fur. I could smell the detergent that had been used on the bed linens, the feathers inside the pillow behind my head, and the sweet scent of the shampoo my Bella used.

Bella.

I could smell my wife clearer than I ever had. And it was more. The fruity and floral scent of Bella was not just the soaps or lotions she used, but it was _her_. It was deeply and thoroughly… _her_. That thought made me groan, because I realized every time I'd smelled it in my house when I thought her to be dead was really the lingering scent she'd left behind as she watched over me.

I focused on the smells around me to avoid screaming in agony. Occasionally something would flare into a pain so excruciating that I couldn't help but cry out, but the venom seemed to move on quickly. Though, I had no concept of what was "quickly" any longer. It felt like seconds, but it could've been days.

My hearing sharpened to the point of madness – Steve's tongue cleaning his fur sounded like sandpaper across rough wood, and his purr and growl were as severe as a tiger. Soft voices of the Cullens and Bella became loud, as if they were yelling, though I knew they were in the hallway. The storm outside slowed, and the snow hitting the window rattled like sand being thrown against the glass. Breathing, water dripping in the sink, heavy heartbeats from somewhere in the house, and even soft laughter met my ears.

The best thing I heard was my wife. She whispered that I was doing so well, that she loved me, that when it was over, no one could touch us, separate us, stop us from simply _living_. And she vowed that we could live however we chose to live. She pressed kisses to my temple, my jaw, my knuckles, and while that simple light touch was painful to my fiery skin, I needed all of it. If she went quiet or stepped away, I panicked, crying out, screaming in the agony that I was alone.

I found that Carlisle was a different form of comfort. His voice was calm, almost indifferent to the whole change, but he soothed Bella, he monitored me with a soft droning voice that told me I was exactly where I needed to be, and he'd made Bella and me a promise and he was keeping it.

There were other voices – Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, even the Denalis – but I tried to ignore them. Eleazar and Alice fretted over my change, whether or not I'd have some sort of talent. Her visions said yes. His talent said yes. My pain couldn't let me focus on it.

The bee-sting feel of my head, my brain, never let up. It was the constant in this fiery storm raging through my body. I shook with the pain of it when that became the center of the boiling feeling in my veins. The sounds of voices got louder and stranger.

 _He's right on schedule. He'll need to hunt first thing._

 _Holy hell, he'll be fucking gorgeous. Bella won't be able to contain herself._

 _Another newborn, but with that shield of Bella's, we may have the advantage of teaching him in a controlled environment._

 _We should head to Alaska this time, for real._

 _I have no fucking clue what to tell Charlie._

 _Mind reader!_

That last one was Alice, and I frowned, fighting the bedding and the hands holding me. All of it was too much – the sounds, the smells, and the lights in the room. The touching, the shoving, and the conversations were consuming me like the venom.

"Stop touching!" I ground out through gritted teeth.

All hands left me, leaving me with the only thing that mattered. Bella.

 _My poor, sweet Edward. It's almost over. He'll need to hunt. Hell,_ I _need to hunt._

Arguments surrounded me, but Bella seemed to stand her ground, and the room went quiet, except for the sound of her breathing and the pounding of my heart. I could hear it in my own ears, feel its thump everywhere.

 _The venom has almost fully taken over. Anytime now._

Carlisle sounded calm, but I heard him shift a little from his chair in the corner.

A cold, wet nose pressed to my cheek, and a purr pushed out against my heated skin. The purring continued, settling across my chest as my heartbeat picked up more and more. Again, my overly sensitive skin wanted to reject the feel, but the purring was soothing.

However, Bella's soft laugh drew my attention as she spoke to Steve.

"Buddy, you getting impatient? You miss him?"

I could smell Steve, but more, I could smell my wife. I couldn't hear anyone other than her and Carlisle, though.

 _We'll be the same – same temperature, same strength, same diet. I won't break him now._

I wanted to reach for Bella, but the stinging in my head increased at the same time that my heart felt like it would burst from my chest. And as hard and intense as it had started, everything simply… _stopped_.

Bella gasped, and I heard Carlisle get up.

"Edward?" he called softly. "Things will be a bit overwhelming at first."

 _When he opens his eyes, he may be in a bit of shock._

The stinging in my head changed to a soft buzzing, and I squeezed my eyes tight, finally opening them to the room. It was candlelit, the glow coming from the windowsill and the tables.

 _I hope he doesn't hate me for this or regrets this decision._

"Why would I do that?" I asked Bella aloud.

"Edward?" Bella gasped. "Why would you do what, baby?"

"Hate you for this?" I answered her confusedly.

"Oh shit," she breathed, looking to Carlisle. "Alice was right. He read my mind." She snorted adorably and gazed back at me.

"Amazing." Carlisle stepped forward, and Steve hissed loud and hard from his perch on my chest.

The sound was feral and loud, causing me to jump a little, but Bella's voice warned me, "Edward, be careful. He can't hurt you now, but you can break him. And he won't leave you, so…"

I glanced to the ginger cat on my chest, seeing way more colors than I ever had before. His fur was white and red and orange. His eyes had endless shades of green and yellow, but the color was being overrun by the black of his pupils.

"I'm okay, Steve," I whispered, but I was afraid to touch him. While he was watching me intently, I could hear his purr, his blood rushing through his small body, and smell that same liquid, which caused a burning in the back of my throat.

I swallowed to ease it, but it didn't do much. Reaching up, I placed my fingers across my throat.

 _Thirsty._

"Yes," I answered.

Carlisle chuckled, and it was an intriguing sound. "That may take some getting used to…for you and for us."

Bella nudged Steve off my chest. "Edward, sit up for me."

I did as she asked, and my movements were so fast that I ripped the covers in my hands. "Oh." I grimaced, turning the strips of fabric over in my hands, but I glanced back to my wife. "Sorry."

I finally got a good look at her. God, if I thought she was beautiful before, nothing prepared me for how she looked through new eyes, sharper vision. The honey of her eyes was darker, with so much more than the colors I was used to seeing. I could see a hint of her old warm brown, bright sparks of a champagne shade, and an amber so deep I lost myself for a second. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, with deep auburn curls framing her face, and her skin was so tempting that I reached out for her.

"You're stunning," I whispered.

She laughed, scooting closer. "I am going to touch you now. So…"

I don't think I let her finish, because we moved at the same time. Bella was in my arms and on my lap in a blink. The sensation of holding my wife, my Bella, again was so settling I barely could contain it. My arms wrapped all the way around her as I buried my face in the crook of her neck and shoulder.

 _So scared. Thought I would never get to him. I didn't mean… I can't… This changes everything!_

"Like what?" I mumbled into her neck.

She chuckled a bit, pulling back and cupping my face. The sensation of her hands on my skin was electric and tingling. I liked it very much.

Bella smiled, saying, "I want to test this." Her lips didn't move with the next question. _You can hear my mind?_

"Uh…yeah?"

 _So you know what I'm thinking?_

"I guess?" I looked at her, confused, and then up to Carlisle, who was watching us with fascination.

 _Wonder how far he can hear? Who all he can hear…_

"Um…just you two."

"Hmm," he said thinking a moment. "Bella, I know you shielded the room when Edward begged for us to stop touching him, so could you lift it now?"

"Okay," Bella said, but she didn't let go of my face.

Suddenly the onslaught of voices hit my head like a freight train. I put my hands on my head, trying to shake the noise out, and squeezed my eyes closed. I couldn't get away from it, a cacophony of different voices and minds. I pushed away from it, kicking at the blankets of the bed until I was pressed against the headboard, which gave an eerie crack.

 _He's awake!_

 _He_ is _a mind reader!_

 _He needs to hunt. What the hell are they waiting for?!_

 _Another brother… Hot damn!_

 _Edward, you're going to snap in a second. Calm down._

That last thought was clearly Alice, because following her warning was what had to have been one of her visions. The thoughts in my head were too many, too loud, and I apparently destroyed the bedroom in my frustration.

"Okay, Alice!" I snarled, shocking myself at how nonhuman I sounded. Gasping, I met Bella's worried gaze. "It's loud, too many… So many… I can hear everyone." Frowning, I realized with everyone's mind in my head, I lost hers. "Except you… I'd rather… Where'd yours go?"

Bella slowly crawled to me, climbed back onto my lap, and studied my face. Instantly, all noise shut off. _Better?_ she asked silently.

"Yes," I said through a sigh, practically sagging in relief. But with that relief came a fiery burn in the back of my throat. "It hurts. Is that…"

"We'll hunt, baby," she promised, her mind starting to worry. "The burn is your thirst. We're going soon." She glanced up at Carlisle. "My shield stops the thoughts from hitting him all at one time. If I lift it, he can't hear me, but he hears everyone else."

"That shield of yours may save him his sanity," we heard from the bedroom door. We all turned to see Eleazar standing there. "He'll need it to control his urges during the hunt, and he'll need you to stop the bombardment of so many thoughts at once until he can get used to it."

I squeezed my eyes closed again.

"Hey, hunting will help you think clearer, too, Edward," Bella soothed, reaching up to rake her fingers through my hair, and my eyes rolled back at how amazing that felt. Her giggle made me smile, even with closed eyes. "Some things didn't change."

"Apparently not." I smirked her way, but my eyes widened at the direction her mind went.

The memories of us together – skin, lips, touches – were something I missed but had been willing to wait for, but now the possibilities were endless, since we were the same in strength, temperature, and immortality.

"Bella, you're killin' me…" I groaned, shaking my head to clear it.

"Sorry!" she squeaked, covering her mouth with her hands. There was a bit of a laugh laced in her embarrassed apology, and I knew my wife well enough to know that had she been human, her cheeks would've been deep pink.

"Hunt!" Jasper snarled from down the stairs. "He's killing me! All the things, all at once. Please! I'll take him. Bella and Emmett can help. Alice will tag along, but holy shit, get him out into those woods!"

Bella's nose wrinkled, and she extricated herself from my lap, holding out a hand. "C'mon, baby. We'll show you the ropes."

Concentrating on my movements, I reached for her hand. Standing up and taking a step happened quicker than I expected, but at this point I wasn't sure I cared. The burn was killing my throat.

"We'll go a little north to Alpine Lakes Wilderness," Bella told Carlisle, but I got the feeling that was for everyone involved. She turned to me. "Edward, you'll stay with me, but some of them are going to follow, just in case there are any campers around."

I grimaced, nodding a bit, but at this point she needed to lead me, because I felt overwhelmed and a little wrung out. I felt like I'd worked a fourteen-hour shift yet had more energy than I could control. And then there was the noise in my head – Carlisle's mind, which was listing things he needed to show me, and Bella's mind, which was a complex combination of worry, love, and a touch of pity. I couldn't fathom what it would've sounded like had she lifted that shield, because just hearing everyone speaking downstairs was enough. To add in their thoughts would have driven me mad.

Bella led me to the window and opened it, but I hesitated at the sight of the snow that blanketed everything around the house. Her smile was sweet, patient, and understanding. "You won't need a jacket anymore, baby. Hell, you don't even need shoes," she stated gently, pointing to my bare feet. "And you're going to be able to jump from here."

In her mind, I saw her own calculations, her own assessment of how to get from one point to another. She positioned me at the window and let go of my hand in order to make her jump. She landed perfectly and gracefully in the backyard, spinning to wave me to her.

"It's easier than you think, Edward," she told me from down below.

Carlisle chuckled from behind me. "She needs this as much as you do, Edward. She felt lost when we first started to teach her these things, but now she has you. You're both new at this, but she'll make a good teacher, because she never had the bloodlust. Let her shield help you." He reached out to squeeze my shoulder. "However, we'll help both of you, so we won't be far behind should you need us."

"Okay," I answered, stepping to the ledge. Remembering how Bella's mind had prepared, I did the same, and I landed next to my wife. "Whoa," I breathed, glancing back at how high that had been versus just how damn easy it was to do.

Bella's soft laugh made me smile, and when she offered her hand again, I took it. Just before we stepped into the woods, a scent caught my attention. It was sharp, acrid, even a little spicy-sweet, making my nose wrinkle.

"We burned Victoria and her newborns," she stated. "That's what you smell. It's faded a bit, but it's still around."

Nodding, I thought back to the memories of what had happened the night Victoria had shown up at the house but then shook my head to clear it.

"So where we're going is a little over forty miles into those woods. And trust me, you'll love this next part." She grinned, taking my face in her hand. "Edward…we're gonna _run_."

There was a wickedly sexy gleam in her eyes, which made me smirk right back at her. "Show me, sweetheart."

With a tug on my hand, Bella led me into the woods, and we started to run. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced. No fast, expensive car could compare to the thrill of the speed. No snow or underbrush slowed us down. There wasn't a detail missed, either, because my eyes, my mind, and my reflexes were so quick that I could avoid it all. I could hear small animals darting out of our way, birds taking off when we startled them, and the snow crunching under my bare feet, which weren't even cold. And yet, everything blurred by us.

Bella's shield had to have lifted, because her thoughts left me, replaced by some others from off in the distance, which made me stop suddenly and growl low.

"It's just Jasper to the east, Emmett to the west, and Carlisle behind us. Rose isn't far either, and she and Alice are together. No one will bother you, but they're there as a precaution." She said these things slowly, calmly, walking to me as she spoke and took my face again. "Breathe deep. Assess where they are."

"I…I…" I started, swallowing against the burn. "I hear them, their minds. Jasper is worried. Emmett is…amused. Carlisle is merely curious, because he thinks…he thinks we'll be just fine." I grinned at Bella's snort of soft laughter. "Alice…" I tilted my head. "Alice can see what I'm going to do, but…it changes. Well, that's interesting," I mused softly, turning the direction of the little immortal. "Rose is…happy for you."

Bella chuckled, pressing up onto her toes to touch her lips to mine, causing everything in me to light on fire. "I'm kinda happy for me, too," she whispered against my mouth. "Now…just a little farther in, Edward. But we can walk." As we walked hand in hand, she explained where we were. "This is Alpine Lake Wilderness. It's a small chain of lakes, full of wildlife – mountain goats, elk, deer, moose, and bear. Though Emmett said the bears are hibernating, so they're off limits."

I snorted into a laugh. "So…what does that mean?" I asked, but my senses kicked into overdrive when the sound of a heavy heartbeat caught my ears. The scent was enticing yet a touch muddy at the same time. Woodsy, really.

Bella stood up on a large rock behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders, her lips at my ear. "Let yourself go, Edward. Use your new instincts to hunt. It's an elk. Close your eyes, breathe deep, and listen. Now…where is he?" she asked me softly.

I did exactly what she said, practically tasting the air. The heartbeat was coming from my right, so I pointed that direction. With my eyes closed, I could hear bugs on leaves, the wind through the treetops, and Bella's breathing behind me. I could also hear only her thoughts, her mind, which meant she was shielding the entire area for the moment.

"Bella, show me how you do it. Think about it…" I requested from her, turning a little to look at her over my shoulder.

"Oh!" she gasped, a smile curling up beautifully on her lips. "Okay, I'd do it like this…" She trailed off, showing me how she hunted. It was a slow start, softly moving through the trees, then a launch at the animal so quick and strong that it had no time to fight her or run away. She showed me exactly where to drink on the elk's neck, which made my throat burn that much more seeing it in her mind.

She mentally offered me several options of getting to the big elk that was foraging for grasses on the side of a small lake – over the rocks, through the woods behind it, going up into the trees, and even diving into the freezing lake to pop up like a crocodile in front of the unsuspecting animal. The last one made me laugh, which earned me a kiss to the cheek.

"Okay, I'll try."

"Edward, you can do this. Trust me, it comes pretty easy and natural after the first time."

I turned in front of her. "I do trust you. I'm pretty sure that's why we're here." I gestured between the two of us, raising an eyebrow her way. "I trusted you to make the decision, and you did. I know it was early, but…" I sighed in frustration when I couldn't articulate much of anything, nor could I stay on the task at hand.

"Go hunt, and we'll talk when you can focus," she stated patiently, shooing me off.

Nodding, I turned to face the elk. I opted to take the approach from the woods, running quickly and quietly just along the edge of the trees, but I kept my eyes on the target. Once I was near enough to the animal to leave the trees without spooking him, I left the protection of the forest and rushed across the rocks that encircled the small lake. My whole being seemed to know what I needed once I was set on course, because the elk's heartbeat, the scent of blood rushing through its veins, and the chase itself told me exactly when to jump. I tackled the animal, my arms around its large neck, and my teeth found the perfect spot before I even landed on the hard stone ground beside the water.

The very second the warm liquid hit the back of my throat, my eyes rolled back. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't exactly delicious, but it was the _feel_ of it. The sensation of clarity, of quenching that burn was instantaneous, and as soon as it had begun, it was over. I pulled away from it, gasping deep breaths of air, sensing Bella's presence instantly.

My first instinct was to growl, which was why she was walking slowly, hands raised. But then my second instinct was to acknowledge exactly just what she was to me.

"Mine," I breathed, frowning and shaking my head.

"He's yours, I know."

"No!" I breathed deep. "You… You're _mine_."

Bella laughed, grinning the most stunning smile I'd ever seen. "Yes, Edward. I was and always will be yours." She shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans, glancing to the ground a bit before locking her eyes back on to me. "Mates, baby. I told you. It's overwhelming, but…amazing." I started for her, but she shook her head, taking a step back. "You need to hunt more. Then we'll… _talk_."

I tilted my head her way, raising another eyebrow at her, because in her mind, she knew we weren't alone in those woods, that I'd think better once I'd hunted more, and that talking wasn't exactly on the agenda, but the people surrounding us to keep me from making a mistake weren't invited.

"Okay," I agreed, trusting her completely.

She let me find the next two animals – another elk that was over on the next lake and a mountain goat that had been hanging out up on a mountain ledge. She then explained how to dispose of the carcasses.

It was as we were walking slowly back toward the first small lake that I caught the scent of something that was stronger, sweeter, and more potent than all I'd already consumed combined. My whole body tensed, my eyes darting around for the source, until Jasper and Alice suddenly appeared in front of us.

"Park ranger," Jasper stated, shaking his head my way and bracing his hands on my shoulders when I took a step in the direction that was pulling me.

"It's a human, Edward," Alice said, staying perfectly calm, but she showed me every decision surrounding this one unsuspecting human, all while narrating it in her mind silently just for my benefit. _He's a husband, father, and grandfather. He's worked in these woods for twenty-five years. He served in Vietnam. If he goes missing, they'll search for him – everywhere. If he goes missing, then you rip his family apart. He's only passing through, and he'll be back in his truck in three minutes and thirty-two seconds. Remember this scent, though. As potent as it is, you don't want it, if only for what it brings – guilt, heartache, self-hate. Now, let your_ mate _help you, Edward._

That last thing got my attention and brought me up short. "Okay," I rasped out.

"Bella, shield him now." Alice's voice was still that calm thing, because it seemed she relied on her second sight for just about everything.

Bella's mind came back into focus, blocking out everyone else _and_ the scent of the ranger. My breathing was coming out in pants, as if I'd run a marathon, but I looked to her.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

"We won't let you screw up," Jasper stated, nodding once. "It isn't easy for any of us, so we all work together to keep to the diet." He shrugged a shoulder, looking to Alice. "They okay to leave alone, darlin'?" he asked her, smiling when she nodded and tugged his hand. "See you back at the house, then."

Bella linked her fingers with mine. "C'mon, handsome. There's a place I want to show you."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… So…I've written a few changing Bellas in my time, the circumstances pretty canon. I've** _ **never**_ **written Edward's change. And that made this a fun challenge, when you add in his ability to read minds. There was so much to consider with him, especially since it's his point of view** _ **and**_ **considering Bella was already immortal.**

 **I'll be working on Chapter 14 soon enough, and this seems to be flowing pretty good, so I am going to stick with the story that's working for me.**

 **Just in case you forgot, or maybe I didn't mention it… There is a playlist for this story on YouTube. Just search for drotuno (which will bring up plenty of playlists) or** _ **Even In Death**_ **.**

 **Okay, I'll update when I can. Until then… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	14. Her Beauty and the Moonlight

**A/N… Okay, so I lied – or maybe just damn well forgot. But I have written Edward changing. It was in** _ **Masen Manor**_ **. I'm not sure how much detail I went into, but apparently, this is the second time. Ooops! My bad. ;)**

 **I'll let you get to it. Most of you guessed as to what this chapter may entail, so I'll get out of your way…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 14 – Her Beauty and the Moonlight**

 _Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya  
She tied you to her kitchen chair  
She broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

 _Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah..._

 _Baby, I've been here before_  
 _I've seen this room and I've walked this floor (you know)_  
 _I used to live alone before I knew ya_  
 _And I've seen your flag on the marble arch_  
 _And love is not a victory march_  
 _It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

 _Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah…_

" _Hallelujah" by Pentatonix (orig. by Leonard Cohen)_

 **EDWARD**

Focusing on Bella's fingers linked with mine, I let her guide me to wherever she wanted to go. I inhaled deeply, finding that her scent was the most prominent around me, which made me wonder if that was because she was so close or because, despite how all over the place my mind was, she could bring me back to something clear and sharp.

Sounds, smells, sights – they were overwhelming, but I found that I could sift through most of it and ignore the insignificant parts. My train of thought, while mainly on Bella, was everywhere, nowhere, and way out there.

I shook my head, feeling the effects of the blood I'd consumed. Bella and Carlisle had both been right; my thinking was clearer, my emotions not so on-the-surface.

We came to a stop at the edge of a tiny lake that was encircled by small, jagged mountains and dark-green firs. The snow had built up in some spots but left places bare in others. It was in one of the bare spots Bella had stopped.

"I used to come here by myself," she started softly, wrinkling her nose a little. "You know, before I could see you, before…everything."

I nodded, reaching up to turn her my way, and out of habit, I tucked a loose curl behind her ear. I concentrated on her face, her expressions. Not being able to hear her mind, I had to assume she'd lifted her shield once the ranger had left the area. I listened around me, as well.

We were truly and utterly alone. The Cullens had left us.

"I didn't know…" She trailed off, shaking her head a little and leaning into my hand cupping her face. "I didn't know if you'd want this. I didn't know if I even wanted to bring you into it, but…" Her brow wrinkled. "God, Edward, you're so quiet. I just wonder if…"

Leaning in, I pressed my lips to her forehead and then her mouth. "I can't hear your mind." I kissed her again before she could say anything. "But I don't need to, sweetheart. I _know_ you. I know you like the back of my hand. I'm…a bit out of sorts, but I am _not_ regretting anything that has to do with getting to be with you. Know that, Mrs. Masen."

"Thank God," she whispered, practically collapsing against me, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"C'mere," I whispered against the top of her head. I sat down on a fallen tree, pulling her to my lap like usual. "I'm feeling all these things at one time, and I know what you are to me, Bella, but there's a part of me that needs to hear…needs to put the pieces together before I lose myself in you."

Bella laughed, cupping my face. "Okay, so that feeling is normal, baby. I get it. I'm there all the time… _still_."

I chuckled, remembering Jake's warning that Bella was a rollercoaster of emotions. And I completely understood it right at that moment. I wanted everything. I wanted my wife, my mate until I was practically shaking. I wanted to know all the things there was to know. I wanted to run. I wanted to sit and take in the view. And I wanted to hunt again, but I wasn't thirsty. I was a ball of energy yet felt peace with Bella in my arms. It was difficult to acclimate to all of it.

Still smiling, I said, "Tell me what happened. Or…or… _show me_."

Bella nodded, and her mind was opened to me.

I linked my fingers with hers, kissing them when she showed me everything from the second I'd fallen asleep in the theater room, to the moment I'd woken up from my change.

"That's where you went," I confirmed, nodding a little. "I wasn't sure… I mean, I assumed there was a huge problem when I woke up to an empty house."

"It wasn't empty, Edward. Esme and Carlisle were at the front door, which is what you heard. I had to protect Charlie, but then they kept pushing me away from the house until I finally made a stand."

Her thoughts had been on me the entire fight, to stay between me and them. But she needed to keep Charlie safe, too.

We both spoke at the same time.

"Charlie showed up?!"

"Did you really set them on fire?" she asked me with a light giggle to her voice.

Grinning, I nodded. "I did. I knew I had to run and hide. I had to go through Carlisle's study to do it. The shed was the first place I went. I had to keep Steve safe."

"My dad was checking on you, baby. He was worried because he hadn't heard from you, and our house was closed up. He was really upset when he left, but leaving kept him alive."

"Well, damn…" I sighed, shaking my head.

Bella smiled sadly, cupping my face. "We'll talk about him, but I'm sorry Victoria touched you. She was the bigger concern than whatever story Carlisle told my dad."

I shook my head. "I… I don't remember much at the end, Bella." Shrugging a shoulder, I went on. "We're here. We're together. I'm willing to work at this…this…new life." I held a hand out, letting the faint, late-afternoon sunlight hit my new skin, shaking my head at the shine, the sparkle that reflected off me. "I told you that when I saw you again, when I got you back."

Through her mind, I saw myself, and I heard her relief. She shifted on my lap, straddling me, which made me smirk her way, but it faltered a bit when she noted the changes in me – red eyes, pale skin, an unnatural strength that seemed to simmer just below the surface. She completely understood the constant shift in topics of conversation, and she was patiently keeping up. She even noted a five o'clock shadow that was now permanent. She knew I had a long road ahead, but she was happy she could help me in some way.

Laughing a bit, I touched my face, and she was right. It was there, just the mere hint of stubble.

"I shaved that morning," I stated in confusion.

"It took three days to change you."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Bella smiled softly, her thoughts still open to me as she trailed a finger beneath my eye. I wrinkled my nose when she noted the red color again.

"It'll take getting used to, sweetheart." I said that remembering the first time I'd seen Bella's new eyes.

"And it won't take long for yours to change," she added, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "The more you hunt animals, the more the red starts to go away." _I'll miss the green, but holy hell the gold will be fucking gorgeous on this face, those eyelashes…_

Her thoughts made me laugh. "Have you always thought about me this way, my Bella?"

"Yes," she said through the sweetest laugh, cupping my face and kissing my lips. "Since the minute you set your books down on my library counter." She kissed me again, lighting every inch of me on fire, but she tilted her head a little. "I thought you were very handsome, Edward, and I expected you to know it, to be like all the other good-looking guys I knew in high school, egotistical and obnoxious, but no." She shook her head slowly. "You had no idea just how you were ogled. And the fact that you looked at me…just like this…" She caressed either side of my face, her mind remembering that first day and my nervousness. "You've always looked at me like you had tunnel vision."

"I did. I still do," I agreed with a laugh and a nod. "And you've always treated me like the only thing that mattered in the room."

"You are," she whispered, her brow furrowing.

My mind and body were conflicting. I wanted my wife. No, I wanted my _mate_. My mind, though, had so many questions about the past, present, and future, I couldn't reconcile any of it. In fact, the overwhelming struggle between the two needs made me shake a little in Bella's arms.

"It's okay, Edward," she soothed, raking her fingers through my hair. "Talk it out. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I…I…" I swallowed to gather my thoughts, squeezing my eyes closed to concentrate, but my words came tumbling out of me in no particular order and without pause. "I want to see every thought you've had since we met. I want… I know we need to talk about the future and what we want to do. I think I'm losing my mind, because if I don't touch you soon, I may explode or…or…something. I know I need to learn and adjust and figure out how to live with this…this… _thing._ " I tapped my temple, sighing deeply as my shoulders sagged under the weight of it all. "And Charlie… Bella, I have to make sure he's… That he can… I wouldn't have made it without him. Honestly. So he's important to me."

"Okay, okay, okay." Bella placed her hands flat on either side of my face, kissing my lips to shut me up. "Look at me, listen to my mind, baby. I will show you every memory of us from the beginning, but we have _time_." When I smiled, she chuckled a bit. "We have time for discussions about the future, too. The immediate decision is most likely going to involve moving us all to Alaska. They want the two of us to be able to relax and learn, and Denali is the perfect place to do that, even though my shield will help you."

I nodded in acceptance, but I could see that she'd been witness to conversations about us. We were newborns – obviously me more so than her – and we still had so much to learn.

"As far as my dad, Edward… I don't think he's allowed to know anything, but Jake is pleading his case to Carlisle. Something about the pack and La Push and his own secrets, but he didn't want to push the subject while you were changing. He also knows the Volturi is pretty scary about their rules. Carlisle mentioned you calling Charlie on the phone, just to placate him, and then tell him you're transferring out of state."

I groaned at that, but I understood it. It was the last conversation I'd had with Carlisle.

"My mind reader," she said through a sweet sigh and a teasing eye roll. She shook her head. "I knew you'd be amazing, but… I'll help you all I can with that."

I smirked when I noticed she'd skipped a topic.

"What does it sound like?" she asked me.

"Noise. Mental noise. Um…buzzing in my head."

"Can you see everything?"

"Umm…it's hard to say. With you, I see whatever you're thinking at the moment, so I guess that's the same with everyone. Jasper is interesting, because I see how the emotions affect him. Alice…I can see her visions with her."

"Oh, wow," she gasped, her eyes wide.

"It's like…everyone is talking all at once, and no one is on the same subject."

"Well, you hadn't hunted, so maybe you can…block some of it?"

"I dunno. Maybe?"

Bella grinned, thinking she loved the ease of our chats. She was so happy that nothing had changed that part of us, no matter if we were human or immortal. She relied heavily on it for her heart, her love, her peace of mind.

"I love you, too, Bella."

A small smile curled up her lips, and she tilted her head at me. "I kinda like that."

"What?"

"That you can see what I mean, more than how it comes out verbally."

"Oh." I smiled up at her, nodding a bit. "Yeah, me, too. A part of me wishes I'd had that when we met. I wouldn't have been so nervous asking you out."

Her giggle was beautiful and sweet, making her face gloriously stunning. "Edward, you did just fine."

"I was awkward, and you were too pretty." I kissed her lips to stop her argument. "Now, you're practically angelic."

"You haven't seen yourself, have you?" she asked suddenly, and I shook my head.

"C'mere, baby," she said softly, slipping off my lap and taking my hand.

She led me to the edge of the lake, kneeling down and tugging my hand to get me to do the same. The water was just still enough that it proved to be a decent mirror. I leaned over the water to see my reflection. My eyesight had to adjust to it. For a split second, I could see the fish and inhabitants of the lake, not me. Once I caught my own gaze, my eyebrows shot up. Piercing red eyes glared back at me, startling me a bit, because they reminded me of the newborns that had showed up at the Cullen home. They were frightening and deadly looking. My face seemed the same – my features a little sharper, maybe a touch smoother. My hair made me roll my eyes; it was thicker, still just as unruly as ever, and the reddish hint was a shade deeper.

I touched my nose, my lips, my jaw, my hair, noticing the movement of my arms. Muscles were different; my forearms and biceps were defined where they weren't overly so before my change.

"You're beautiful, Edward," Bella whispered, taking away her thoughts, which made me glance her way. "You were always beautiful to me, but now…"

"Now we're the same."

"Yes."

"You can't hurt me now."

"No, Edward."

I smiled her way as she shook her head slowly. "You know the only thing that bothered me was your fears, Bella. Not your changes."

"I know."

I reached for her left hand, toying with her wedding rings. "So…now…" I grinned, bending down to kiss those rings. "Now 'as long as we both shall live' means a mighty long time."

"No more sickness."

"No more sickness, sweetheart."

I leaned in to press my lips to hers when a sound escaped her lips that could've been a sob, but I needed to stop it.

"Bella, I…" I whispered, touching my forehead to hers. "I need…but I don't know…" I sighed deeply, wishing _she_ could read _my_ mind.

She smirked, standing up from the rocky edge of the lake. "Edward, you can have anything you wish." She waved a hand around her. "There's no one for miles."

I froze a little, tilting my head in order to listen for minds, sounds, and I inhaled deeply and only found the one scent that had called to me since I opened my newborn eyes.

Bella.

"Oh, God, Bella… _Show me_ ," I growled through gritted teeth.

The most wickedly sexy smile curled up her lips. "Catch me, Edward."

Instantly she was gone, which made me laugh and take off after her.

Something inside me came alive. It bloomed and spread throughout my entire being as she ran from me. The need to give chase was overwhelming and instantaneous. I didn't even have to _think,_ just react, and I was running at a speed that, as a human, I'd have never been able to comprehend. My feet barely made a sound as they touched down each step on rocks, underbrush, and snow. Wildlife scattered at my approach, rustling through the shrubbery, darting up tree trunks, and taking flight off limbs. Bella's scent was my focus; it pulled at me, called to me, reaching something deep down – something that seemed to have always been there but was now staggering in its strength.

She'd left her mind open to me, which was unnecessary, but I used it anyway. I tried not to zero in on _what_ she was thinking. As I ran, the thoughts grew stronger or weaker, a beacon of sorts. I followed that beacon – that was driving me crazy with every sexy thought or memory imaginable – around a smaller lake and up the side of a steep, rocky mountain. The higher I went, the stronger Bella's scent became, until there was a split in the path.

The mountain continued higher, but Bella's trail veered to the left, alongside a cliff. The spray of a waterfall misted over my face. Her trail ended abruptly, and I came to a complete standstill, searching for her mind instead, which made me smile and then chuckle softly.

I stepped toward the cliff's edge, gazing down. Just behind the waterfall was a cut into the mountain, not exactly a cave but a space just big enough for her to hide. I studied the way down, taking a leap of faith right off the side. I landed on the slight ledge just to the right of the falling water, pulling myself inside the space behind it.

Bella grinned as she leaned casually against the wall of the small rock shelter. "Did you follow my scent or my mind, Edward?"

"Both," I answered with a grin as I walked toward her slowly. "Your scent told me lots of things; your mind confirmed them."

Her giggle was so adorable, and she glanced down at her feet momentarily. Human or immortal, Bella's tell of nerves and embarrassment were exactly the same. I half expected to see the pink cheeks of her blush, but instead, it was the darkening gaze that practically pinned me in place.

"How'd you find this place?" I asked, trying to distract myself from lunging at her.

"I ran away once." Her voice was soft, sad. She nodded a little when my brows furrowed in question. "Yeah, it was early after my change. They said I couldn't see you, that I couldn't keep you. I almost broke Jake in half in my anger, but he followed me, stayed at the bottom of the mountain until I calmed down."

"Well, now I can keep _you_ ," I whispered, my hands balling up into fists in order to control myself. "Bella, I…"

"I know," she breathed, pushing from the rock wall and walking to me. "I know, Edward. I feel it, too."

"I feel…wrong for the things I'm thinking, the things I want."

"Me, too."

"I want to… And…"

"Oh, me, too." She sang that reply, her eyes dragging from my face to my bare feet.

"Is it wrong?"

"It's mating."

"Yeah?" I was practically panting as I drank in the beauty of her face, which looked at tortured as I felt.

"Yeah, and I know one thing, Edward, just from living in that house." She stepped closer, pushing up a little on her toes to brush her lips tauntingly over mine.

"What's that, sweetheart?"

She kissed me again, just as soft, just as teasing. "This feeling – _right here_ …" She locked almost black eyes with mine, smirking a little. "It never goes away. It's always here, always this strong. If we were crazy for each other before, baby, now we'll be insatiable."

My mouth quirked up into a half smile. "Always?"

"Always, Edward."

Reaching out, I pulled her to me, our lips meeting at the same time Bella let out the sweetest sound of relief and want and happiness. Wrapping my arms all the way around her, I lifted her, causing her legs to naturally wrap around my hips. I didn't have words to describe the feelings that came with kissing my wife – _truly_ kissing her – again.

There was no worry from her about hurting me. There was no difference in our skin – hardness or temperature. We didn't have to breathe, we didn't have to speak, and we damn well didn't have to let go if we didn't want.

Everything was different yet the same. Her reactions to my touch were the same, if not more. The need to mark, bite, and own was new, but the feelings of her hands in my hair, her sweet sounds, and her amazing kiss overrode what I was now knew were instincts that I'd never had when I was human.

I could hold Bella in my arms without even straining. In fact, I was sure I could've held her wrapped around me like that for days. Despite the strain, the running, and even my recent hunting, I wasn't tired. And deep down I knew I'd never really be weary again, but one thought pushed everything away.

It had been _way_ too long since I'd made love to my wife.

It had been before her change, before flat tires and roaming, red-eyed vampires with bad intentions, and before the Cullens had decided to help her. It was before I thought she'd been taken away from me.

Slipping my hands beneath her shirt, I pushed it up, breaking from our kiss long enough to help her out of it completely.

My breathing was heavy as I barely broke away from her lips. "Baby, put your feet down."

Wickedly strong legs unwound from around me, but Bella's arms stayed clinging to my neck. Skimming flat hands up her sides and over her arms, I pulled her hands away from me.

"Let me see you," I asked in a whisper.

It was like seeing her for the first time, bare to the waist, breathing heavy, and her hair falling down out of her ponytail. Reaching to the band that held that hair, I carefully pulled it out, letting the dark locks spill down over creamy shoulders.

 _His turn._

I grinned at her thought, taking a step back from her and reaching for a fistful of my shirt. It was off and over my head, joining hers on the floor of that rock alcove, before she could actually voice that request.

"Jesus," Bella huffed in a laugh, shaking her head.

Glancing down, I tried to see what she did, but in her mind, I could see the differences in my body. I'd always run to stay in shape, but now, I was lean, with lithe muscles. I was toned and defined. And apparently, my wife approved wholeheartedly.

Something about that made me feel smug, not that she didn't approve before, but with everything we were feeling at that moment, that was good to know.

I walked around her, stopping long enough to sweep her hair from one shoulder to press kisses to her skin, up her neck, settling on the spot just below her ear that had always caused her to melt in my arms.

"I love you," I whispered against the shell of her ear. "I've missed you…like this."

"Me, too." She nodded, leaning her bare back against my chest, which made me moan into her hair.

I pulled her closer, her sweet bottom pressing against the hardest erection I'd ever had. My years as a medical student told me that it had been a long time. My new senses told me that it was more than blood coursing through me; it was venom and the hunting I'd just done. It was more. It was almost feral.

I cupped her breasts from behind, teasing hard nipples and smiling when she shook in my arms as curse words softly escaped her. One hand continued to play, to tease, and the other slipped down her stomach to tug at the button of her jeans.

"How do you… Where…" I stammered, shaking my head. "Bella… I'm gonna rip these."

She seemed to understand my nonsense babbling and covered my hand with her own to help me. She turned in my arms, stepping back and kicking out of sneakers. The jeans and underwear were shoved down to the cave floor.

"Watch your strength, Edward," she guided sweetly, walking back to me. "You don't want to run naked through the woods." She smirked at my short huff of a laugh. "Slow, handsome."

Bella helped me carefully push down the plaid pajama bottoms in which I'd woken up from my change. I could see by her thoughts that she'd know they'd be easier to deal with for the first day, but also because she'd wanted me as comfortable as I could be through three days of burning.

The cool evening air hit my bare flesh, but it had no effect on my need. I was hard and leaking for her, and her eyes darkened even more with the sight of me. My restraint to slow down, stay calm, flew out the window when one word escaped her lips in a slow hiss.

" _Fuck."_

I pulled her back to me, and we were like before – Bella wrapped around me and my lips on hers. Her hands cupped either side of my face, and a plea pushed out over my face.

"Please, Edward. Please…"

I pressed her back against the rock wall, barely noticing the cracking, the dust falling down, and the rumble it caused inside that small alcove. Her hands were still on my face as I kissed her until I felt drunk with her taste. Pausing just enough to lock gazes with her, I positioned myself at her entrance.

Our breathing stopped completely when I slid inside her for the first time in months, for the first time as mates, and for the first time in our new beginning.

 _Yes, yes, yes…_

Her mind guided me when I had lost the ability to barely think, much less speak. Her thoughts were filled with love, with how amazing I felt, and how much she'd needed me. When she showed me what felt the best, I followed her wishes.

"That's so…amazing," I breathed, pushing harder, deeper, and feeling her clench down on me over and over. "Keep showing me, Bella."

Her next thought had me pulling her away from the rock wall that was even more jagged than before, and I laid her down on top of our pile of clothes, letting all my weight bear down on her as I continued to take her hard. I reveled in my strength, my stamina, which had been fine before, but _now_ , I was unstoppable. Bracing a hand by her head, I used my free hand to touch, to tease, to elicit sounds I needed to hear again.

When I touched her where she was swollen and sensitive, Bella came hard, my name mixed with a long, low growl, and it made me smile against her neck.

"Yes, Bella. You feel too good. I can't… I don't want it to…"

Her hands met either side of my face, bringing my gaze to hers, and I dropped my forehead to meet hers. "Let go, Edward. We have _lifetimes_ to love each other."

Nodding, I squeezed my eyes closed, feeling the tingle up my spine, in my balls, and my hands clawed deep into the dirt and rock on either side of her head. I hardly recognized the sound that escaped me when I came. It was loud, echoing out of the cave and shaking the floor beneath us.

When I could see straight, I opened my eyes, losing myself in Bella's golden eyes. Nothing needed to be said, because her thoughts matched mine. The love we'd had before paled in comparison to what we were feeling right at that moment. And that was saying something.

"Holy hell," Bella breathed, her head collapsing back, a small smile curling up her gorgeous lips.

"No shit," I panted, unable not to smile with her. But I noted that I was still hard, still deep inside her. "Umm, sweetheart?"

Licking her lips, she leaned up and captured my mouth in a searing kiss. "We aren't moving from this hiding spot for a while."

"Will they come looking for us?" I asked her, kissing slowly down her jaw to her neck.

"Probably."

"You don't care, do you?"

"Nope."

Chuckling caused new sensations between us, and we gasped. I didn't move, but I shifted up enough to gaze down at her. The moon was bright coming in through the water falling over the cave opening. My new sight could see the effects playing out over her face, her skin, the entire cave. It was as if we were deep under water, completely sealed off from everything. The reality was that we needed to get back to the Cullens, we needed to discuss the future since I'd had to be changed, and we needed to talk about Charlie. I knew all of that. Bella's thoughts were the same.

Yet, reality had to wait, because we were lost to one another again. A part of me wondered just how long we could stay sequestered up there. The other part couldn't wait to try _everything_ with her.

"Edward…"

"Hmm?"

"Stop thinking."

Grinning, I leaned in and kissed her. "Yes, ma'am."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… There is more to come on this story, so just because Victoria is gone, doesn't mean that it's over. ;) There are a bunch of things still blowing in the wind.**

 **If I thought a rollercoaster Bella was fun…the two of them combined all over the place with everything all at once was hilarious, if not a bit touchy to write. But they'll mellow out eventually. They have each other, after all. ;)**

 **I'm posting this as its written, due to muses and schedules and what-have-you. There is a playlist on YouTube, so just search for** _ **Even In Death**_ **or drotuno. Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	15. Come What May

**A/N… Thank you for your patience with this fic. I'm doing my best to get it out to you. I'll get out of your way. See me at the bottom…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 15 – Come What May**

 _Through the fire  
To the limit, to the wall  
For a chance to be with you  
I'd gladly risk it all  
Through the fire  
Through whatever, come what may  
For a chance at loving you  
I'd take it all the way  
Right down to the wire  
Even through the fire_

 _I know you're afraid of what you feel_  
 _You still need time to heal_  
 _And I can help if you'll only let me try_  
 _You touch me and something in me knew_  
 _What I could have with you_  
 _Well I'm not ready to kiss that dream goodbye_

 _When it's this sweet, there's no saying no_  
 _I need you so, I'm ready to go_

 _"Through the Fire" by Chaka Khan_

 **EDWARD**

"Sorry about that," I mumbled against Bella's skin while tracing a bite mark I'd left on her inner thigh with my finger.

"I'm not," she said through a chuckle, her head falling back to my shoulder as I held her between my legs. She skimmed her hand flat down my arm and showed her wrist, where a small nip in her skin glowed in the moonlight. "Apparently, the only thing that can leave a scar on our skin is a bite from another vampire."

I pulled her wrist to my lips, pressing a kiss there, and then turned to kiss the mark on her neck from James. I was drunk on my love for her at the moment. We'd been in that cave for almost twenty-four hours. We'd only left once so Bella and I could hunt, but we'd raced right back to stay hidden, to stay in the bubble we'd created since I'd woken up from my change.

"I need to control that," I whispered against her cheek. "As much as I enjoyed it, I can't keep marking you."

Bella grinned, shrugging a shoulder. I couldn't hear her thoughts, but I knew every single one of her mannerisms, and that particular one meant she didn't care.

"Control," she scoffed. "Edward, you've been awake for a whole day. Just one damn day. Relax. You're in better _control_ than you think. Those newborns who came to the house were probably weeks old, and you're in better control than they were."

Chuckling at her instant and never-ending defense, I kissed her cheek again. "Sweetheart, we're in a cave, on a mountain, without a human for miles. The only trouble to be found is right here." My hands started to travel, skimming, teasing, tickling, which resulted in the giggling, writhing nakedness in my arms I'd wanted.

There was a part of me that knew time was ticking, that there were things that needed to be done and discussed. Our future as we'd once known it was gone, so a new one needed to be planned, prepared for, and accepted.

The other part of me couldn't get enough of my wife, my _mate_. I truly did feel drunk on her. Or maybe it was addicted. Obsessed? I didn't care what label it had.

Bella turned in my arms, kneeling between my legs. She loomed over me as I leaned against the wall of the cave. Placing her hands flat on either side of my face, she smiled. It was heartbreakingly beautiful and sweet and loving. And a memory of seeing that smile for the first time came from nowhere. It was after we'd declared our love for the first time, after losing our virginities to each other. We'd been dating for a few months and lost ourselves on a rainy afternoon in my dorm room at UW. She'd looked at me then just like she was now, and I knew I'd never love another woman for the rest of my life. Suddenly, my rollercoaster mind blurted out that same nonsense.

"You think we were fated for this?" I asked against her lips.

She grinned, but it faltered a little as she shrugged. "I don't know, baby. I try not to question it now that I've got you back."

Nodding, I accepted that answer, because I felt the same. "Me, too." The sound of the falling water was the only thing I heard as I gazed up at her. "What should we do, sweetheart?"

"Right this very second?" she said with a laugh. "That's a very loaded question, Dr. Masen, when we're this naked and alone."

Grinning, I huffed a laugh as my head fell back to the stone wall behind me. I reached up, trailing my fingers along her face and beneath her chin. "I'm not sure doctor fits anymore."

"You're still a doctor, Edward," she countered softly and patiently. "Carlisle still practices medicine. You will, too, eventually." She kissed my lips when I started to argue that he was much older than us. "It's your first damn day, baby," she reminded me again with more kisses to my lips. "Now… What should we do about what?"

Snorting, I shook my head. "Everything?"

She smirked but got up from my lap. Our clothes were every-damn-where, but she found my shirt and pajama bottoms, putting on the former and tossing the latter my way.

"Put those on, and we'll try to sort out _everything_ ," she teased with a smirk.

Dressing myself was a test in strength control, but with slowed movements, I was able to pull the pants on without shredding them to pieces. It was a miracle they'd lasted this long. And that thought only brought around the reality that we needed to get back to the Cullen home for clean clothes and a long discussion.

Bella leaned against the rock wall as I started to pace. I had more energy than I knew what to do with, but I wasn't used to anything yet. And I was trying my damnedest not to notice just how adorably sexy she looked in that way-too-big shirt, especially knowing there was nothing underneath it.

"You…" I started, continuing to pace. "You said that we were moving to Alaska?"

"I said that's what they'd discussed doing. The Denalis live in the middle of nowhere, and we'd be able to hunt when we need, come and go as we please, and get used to this." She gestured between us, but I knew what she meant, even without hearing her thoughts.

Nodding, I stopped in front of her. "Bella, I told you before that I'm willing to concede some things to Carlisle, but there are a few decisions that I'd rather make just the two of us."

"They just want to help us."

"I know. Really, I do," I acquiesced, stopping in front of her. "I get it. With all that we've been through _because_ of them, I understand that they think they owe us… _something_. I just think there's a difference between help and guidance and the pushing of ideas our way."

"No, I get that." She pushed away from the wall to walk to me. Cupping my face, she asked, "Are you talking about Alaska? Or living with them in general?"

"In general," I answered truthfully. "I mean, I like them all, even Rosalie, but I… Bella, you and I had a life before all of this, and I know things have changed – _we've_ changed, literally – but I don't know if I can do what they do. That…that _thing_ of living together, pretending to be something else. I don't know." I shook my head, folding my arms across my chest as I watched the water fall over the opening of our cave.

She nodded, pushing up on her toes to kiss my lips. "But you're okay with Alaska," she verified, locking those beautiful golden eyes on mine.

I let out a deep sigh, grimacing a little. "Actually, yeah. I'm okay with that part, because if hearing minds is as loud as it was that first moment, then I really have to get used to it, or we're never leaving this cave."

Bella giggled and groaned at the same time. "Oh, God, I can't imagine." She kissed my chin. "I told you I'd shield you."

"I know, and I love you for it, but honestly, I don't think I have much of a choice. I _have_ to get used to it – how it works, how it sounds, the difference between voice and mind. It was difficult to determine that last part, even when it was just you and Carlisle I was hearing." I pressed a kiss to her forehead and then paced a little more. "Alaska also gives the excuse I need for Charlie, I think."

I rubbed my face, noting the fine growth of stubble. It was the length it usually was by the end of a long human day. And it would never change. However, most of the men in the Cullen family had smooth faces, and I knew no regular blade could touch it, so I'd have to ask them what to do about it, if anything.

When Bella went quiet, I turned to face her. The expression on that sweet face was so very sad.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I stated in a subdued voice, feeling awful that this topic was affecting her this way.

"I miss my dad," she whispered shakily. "I miss my mother, too."

"I know you do, and I feel responsible for your dad. If the Cullens owe us, then I truly owe Charlie. Without him, the loss of you would've…"

I trailed off, because it was moot now. I had my girl back, my wife, my best friend, and all those titles culminated into one perfect term – _mate_. I now understood what Carlisle had tried to tell me the night he'd taken samples of my blood to draw Victoria in – my mate made all the things better. She was a crutch, the other half of me, and the light at the end of this strange new tunnel.

Charlie, though, was still in the dark. I may have gotten Bella back, but he was still living in the world where he'd lost his little girl on his watch. That simply didn't sit well with me. A part of me wanted to give him hope or something he could hold on to, but rules and promises and treaties wouldn't allow it – those same rules my sweet wife had broken to let me know she was still there, still alive.

I didn't mention that; I kept it to myself for now.

The buzz in my head, which had been minimal with Bella, started to pick up. Blurry and choppy pieces of conversation met my ears or mind, I wasn't sure which.

Grimacing a little, I walked to the edge of the cave and tilted my head to listen closely.

"Edward, what is it?"

"You hear that?" I asked her.

She came to stand beside me. She inhaled deeply but shook her head. "I don't hear anything, baby."

 _We'll find them, Leah._

 _We lost their trail, but dammit, Jake, maybe they don't want to be found right about now._

Grinning, I looked to Bella. "It's Jake and Leah. They're looking for us in wolf form." I laughed a little. "The…pack… They communicate so strangely. I…I can hear just the two of them, but I can also hear the rest of the pack in various places. It's like a hive mind or something."

Bella chuckled a little. "Can you tell where or how far?"

"Umm, no. But I could probably follow it."

"You know, Jake's probably the perfect one to test that mind-reading thing with."

Sighing at the end of our time alone, I nodded. "Then I need my shirt, beautiful."

With darkening eyes and a wicked smirk on her face, Bella reached down to slowly pull my shirt off over her body. I closed my eyes as I fought the instantaneous desire to lose myself in her again.

When I opened them, she was dressed back in her jeans and sweater, walking to me to hand me my shirt.

"C'mon, Edward. We'll go talk to Jake."

Bella talked me through putting my shirt back on without ripping the sleeves clean off. We slipped out the cave, avoiding the wall of falling water, and instead of climbing back up to the cliff above us, I led us down toward the small lake below. Just as we landed on the rocky shore, a scent slammed into me like a freight train. Unexpectedly, a growl escaped me without even thinking about it.

"Easy, Edward." Bella's calm demeanor helped me push the instinct to fight away. "Jake is our natural enemy, and your instincts tell you to prepare for him, but you _know_ him."

Nodding, I let out a cleansing breath. "Has he always smelled that strong?"

 _You know, Ed… You don't exactly smell pleasant to me either, asshat._

I couldn't stop the laugh that came out of me. And I turned toward the two enormous wolves stepping slowly out of the woods across the way.

"Fair enough, Jacob," I said, still chuckling.

 _Wow! So the mind-reading thing really is true?_ he asked as he stepped closer. When I nodded, he shook his large head. _How's that work?_

"I have no idea. But it's noisy."

He had a brief moment of pity but then turned his attention to Bella. _She looks fucking blissful. Good for you guys!_

He nuzzled her hand but decided he'd rather have a verbal conversation, so he took off back to the woods. Leah stayed in wolf form and on alert, but she was happy for us. Well, she was as happy as her instincts would allow her to be, since we were both now the enemy she was supposed to destroy. Knowing us first helped her keep her instincts under control.

When Jacob stepped back out of the woods, he was in his human form again, wearing his usual long khaki shorts. His mind, however, was complicated with different subjects he needed to address with Bella and me.

His first words aloud were unexpected. "You scared the shit outta me."

Grinning, I nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

He sighed, rolled his eyes. "What the hell were you thinking, running into the woods?"

I could see through his mind, the memory of the fight with Victoria. From his perspective, they'd kept the fight fairly contained. Very few newborns had made it to the house; most had met their demise in the woods, thanks to the pack. The ones who did approach the Cullen home were met with very experienced vampires with more control. And two had discovered my wife's temper and shield.

But a human stepping outside in the middle of it all threw everyone into a frenzy of worry and panic.

"You're lucky it was me who'd been pushing that redheaded leech toward the house!" he stated with a finger pointed my way. "And now look…" He gestured up and down at me. "They've made you one of them. Not that I can say shit about it, because Bella would've kicked my ass had I invoked the treaty about turning you."

Bella snorted, and it was her turn to roll her eyes. "Shut up, Jake."

He narrowed his eyes at her, pursing his lips. "Fine. I'm sure it would've happened eventually anyway."

"Probably," Bella and I said at the same time, which made Leah bark into a rough laugh through a wolfish grin.

"Why are you out here, Jake?" Bella asked through a very long, very patient sigh.

"Alice said to leave you alone, that you'd head back soon enough. But I thought you'd rather hear a few things from me rather than them."

Leah's thoughts centered around one thing. _Charlie._

My head spun to the only wolf in the pack that was more white than red. "What about him?"

"Charlie's safe," Jacob stated. "He's actually with Leah's mother."

"Sue?" Bella asked, her eyebrows rising up. "He's on the res?"

"Yeah." Jake nodded, smirking a bit, but he caught my eye. _Can you see why?_

I tilted my head, reading his mind, and a slow smile spread across my face. "He likes her. Charlie's dating?"

Jacob laughed at Bella's gasp as she glanced between us.

"Seriously?" she asked incredulously.

"Since when?" I asked, because in all the times I'd been over to Charlie's house – before and after Bella's accident – he'd never once mentioned Sue Clearwater.

"Well, he didn't want to say anything to you, Edward. It kind of, sort of started as a comfort thing?" he said, but it sounded like a question. "It began after Bella's memorial service."

"Oh," Bella and I both muttered.

It was Leah who answered my biggest question, which was why hide it from me?

 _He didn't say anything because he thought it was… Well, you know how he is. He's not one to wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he said it was wrong to smash it in your face when you'd lost so much._

"So why say something now?" I asked the two of them, but it was Jake who answered.

"Well, here's the cool part that I wanted to discuss without the head bloodsucker around."

"Would you stop that shit?!" Bella snapped. "Just spit it out!"

I wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulders and brought her to my front, kissing the back of her head.

"Sure, sure," he surrendered. "Having Charlie on the res means having Charlie hear the legends."

He raised an eyebrow at me, and he seemed to be waiting for me to put the pieces together.

"And having Charlie hear the legends means that he'll figure out that they aren't just _old scary stories_ ," I surmised, a smirk curling the corner of my mouth, but it fell quickly. "Shit, Jake, what does he know?"

"Just the old scary stories, at this point."

The hope that bloomed across my wife's beautiful face was almost too much to look at when she turned to me. I cupped her cheek, brushing my thumb beneath her eye as I listened to Jacob's and Leah's thoughts. As much as I wanted to leave Charlie some sort of hope, there was one thing that worried me.

Pressing a kiss to Bella's forehead, I mulled it over. Finally, I locked gazes back with Jake. "What about the Volturi?"

 _That's the other reason we were out here looking for you._

I shot a look to Leah and then back to Jake. "What is it?"

Jake's face darkened with hatred, and he shook his head. "They're here. In Washington. Apparently, Victoria caused a big enough stink makin' that army of hers to draw them over from Italy. Carlisle says normally they send just a few of them to check out those types of things, but not this time. It's a bunch of them – including the creepy brothers."

"Shit," Bella hissed. "Aro's here?"

"Yeah, and they want to see Carlisle."

"Edward, we should head back," she said softly, looking to me. "If they're here, then—"

"Hold that thought, Bells," Jake interrupted, grimacing a little. "I overheard Eleazar and Carlisle talking. You two… Well, you've got abilities that these Italian fuckers are gonna want. Man, I'll lose my shit should they try anything."

I was confused for just a moment, and I glanced Bella's way, but Jake was remembering the conversation.

"Aro reads minds," I confirmed, and everyone nodded. "And he likes talented vampires."

They all nodded again.

"Edward, the Volturi _collects_ talented immortals," Bella explained gently, now seemingly worried as she reached up to touch my face, my hair, my chest. "Aro reads minds by touching the person, where you don't have to. And you can see what the person is thinking right at the moment, but Aro? He sees every thought you've ever had. He'll envy your ability, simply for its ease."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes at that, because even with just Jake and Leah, it was a lot to take in and a din of noise in my head. It was easier than before, though. Jake was in human form, so I could tell the difference between thought and speech. Leah was all thoughts, with her being in her wolf form. Bella was silent to me. Two minds were somewhat doable. However, the reality was that I would rather hear Bella's mind and no one else. The other reality was that it wasn't always going to be simply two minds. There would come a point when it would be cities, schools, hospitals, and an endless sea of people and minds and disturbing things, and I had to brace for it.

Despite Bella's reassurance that it was my first day, I worried about this new ability and what it would mean. Just from the little thoughts I'd caught from people I knew, I could tell there were things in someone's head not meant for anyone to hear. This was eavesdropping on a massive scale. Suddenly, I wanted to know what Alice knew.

"Maybe we should get back," I muttered, glancing around at everyone. "I'd… I'd like to _see_ what Alice knows."

Bella's smile quirked up on her lips. "Someone's going to fit in just fine."

Grinning, I shrugged. "I dunno, sweetheart. I have to get used to this." I tapped my temple, my brow furrowing a little. "If this is…me, then I need to adjust. I need to adapt to what we are now." When Jake shook his head a little, I turned to him. "Before anyone panics over the Volturi, I'd like to get all the information I can, and with Carlisle's knowledge of them and Alice's visions, we might be able to either avoid Aro or brace ourselves for him. But I need to _know_."

"First day, Edward," she reiterated in a sing-song manner, but she nodded and kissed my lips.

"So you keep telling me, but Bella, this is me. I'm not sure the part of me that needs all the information has evaporated with my humanity," I explained, which made everyone chuckle a little at me.

My wife studied my face, and I wished I could hear her thoughts, but she finally nodded. "Okay, let's head back."

Jake nodded and jogged off to change back into his wolf form, stepping back out to the lakeside to wait for us. _Race you?_ he taunted, and he and Leah started to run.

I laughed, looking to Bella. "He wants a race."

"Oh?" she asked with a laugh. "Okay, then." She shoved me playfully and took off after him.

It was unlike any race I'd ever experienced. As a human, I'd run for exercise just about every day in college and after graduation. I'd signed up for marathons and races for charity or for college functions. No race or workout involved the type of competition I was running at that moment.

It was over forty miles of leaping over small lakes and streams. Two wolves versus two vampires – the latter with more strength than the average immortal, due to being newborns – navigated the Alpine Lakes Wilderness as if it were a child's playground. Bella took the lead at one point through a thick patch of trees, but I leaped over Leah to scale the trunks, jumping from tree to tree until I was able to take the lead. I grinned at Bella's growl behind me, but the last few miles back to the Cullen home were an easy stretch. I ran so fast, I lost the ability to hear Jake and Leah, and Bella's footsteps fell behind me.

When the Cullen rooftop was visible through the trees, I ran even faster, coming to a stop at the table in the backyard. I heard the back doors open to the house, and the minds hit me all at once. Bracing my hands on the snow-covered table, I shook my head and squeezed my eyes closed. It was chaos for the first few moments.

Glancing up when I smelled her approach, I met Bella's worried gaze.

"Too much?" she asked.

"No… Well, yes, but I've got to acclimate, Bella," I answered her softly.

"Edward?" Carlisle called, rushing to me. His thoughts seemed clearer than the rest, but his worry was all over his face. _Hearing someone's mind must be overwhelming. Hearing everyone has to be…_

"Nonsense," I answered his train of thought, smirking at his snorting laugh. "Just…give me a second, please."

"You've hunted?" he asked, and I nodded. "Okay, then talk it out. Focus on each mind."

Raising an eyebrow at him, I didn't look away when I took a deep breath. "You're worried this is too much. Jake and Leah are pissed I won the race. Jasper is feeding off your worry. Emmett wants his own race. Eleazar is trying to remember the last mind reader he knew, aside from Aro. Rose wants out of Washington. Esme wants to hug me. Kate and Irina want to know when they can go home. Tanya is jealous of my wife, but not really jealous… Maybe congratulatory? Whatever that means… And Alice…" My head spun to face the shortest member of the group.

Bella's hand slipped into mine, our fingers linking together naturally, and we faced Alice, who was walking closer to me.

 _Finally, someone else can…_ Alice smiled, and it was a little sad and weary. _Another freak in the family._

I chuckled a little, shaking my head. "Is that how you see it?" I asked, tilting my head at her, and I found that my brain was able to shift and push away the curious minds around us and focus solely on one person.

Alice wrinkled her nose and shrugged. It was a very human thing to do, considering how long she'd been immortal, but her mind was excited and grateful to now know someone else with a mental ability. The fact that I could see what she was seeing was like a weight being lifted from her small shoulders.

Of all the members of the Cullen family, Alice had wanted Bella and me to join them. She'd seen it coming not long after Bella's change. She hadn't seen Bella's attack, since James's decision to bite her had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, but once the change was underway, she'd seen everything – Bella, me, and Victoria. All of it had come to pass. And now visions were assaulting her with every possibility.

She saw a wide-open future, where everyone could stay somewhere longer, if the two of us monitored the humans around us. Alaska was a strong, almost concrete outcome. I saw Bella and me with golden eyes and happy smiles and a place of our own somewhere I didn't recognize. However, all of her visions continuously changed, because nothing was certain. In her mind, I could see it was because everyone was making decisions that caused the future to shift. It was driving her crazy, and she was hoping my mind-reading ability could help sort some of it out.

Lastly, she saw Aro, along with a large group of immortals in red coats, but it was Alice's thoughts directly to me that had me worried.

 _He'll ask for me, you, Bella, and Jasper. He'll want our abilities as compensation for Victoria's mess, despite the fact that we stopped it and cleaned up after it._ She shifted on her feet a little, her eyes drifting to her mate. _You know his history, Edward. He won't survive it. He won't survive the hate and coldness. He won't be able to resist the diet, and as new as the two of you are, you won't resist it either._

"What do we do?" I asked her softly, yet it seemed loud out there in the snow-covered backyard.

"If just the four of us leave, then he reads Carlisle's mind and sees there are more of us. If we all leave, then he'll look for us. If we stay, he'll ask us to join him."

"And by asking, you're saying he'll demand it," I surmised, pulling Bella closer to me. I looked to Carlisle. "She sees Aro coming. He'll want something in return for the mess that Victoria made. He'll want the four of us." I gestured between Bella and myself to Alice and Jasper.

"Well, he can't have you," Esme stated firmly, and as much as she was upset, it made me smile at how protective she was of her whole family.

Carlisle soothed her but focused on Alice and me. "As much as Aro wants something, he's also aware that to demand someone to come with him will not always bring loyalty, which Marcus would be able to see. If he wants retribution for Victoria's mess, then he's too late. We eradicated the entire lot."

Eleazar stepped forward, his mind filled with possibilities. "We broke no laws here. And we did them a favor by removing Victoria and her newborn army. Running isn't the answer; it shows guilt or that we're hiding something. Facing him is the only answer. How long until he arrives, Alice?"

"There's still snow on the ground," she answered, pointing to what was all around us.

Carlisle paced a few steps back and forth, rubbing his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. "My family should be the ones to face him. Eleazar, you should take yours back to Denali."

I flinched when minds started to get louder, more frightened. Carlisle, however, held up his hand when some began to argue aloud.

"Everyone inside, please." He looked over his shoulder. "You, too, Jacob. We need to discuss the next steps we all need to take." He glanced to me. _My family is bigger now, and as much as Aro may see that as a threat, I will fight for them. All of them._

I wasn't sure if he'd aimed that my way, or if I was simply eavesdropping, but as we followed him inside the house, his thoughts weren't the only ones centered around the preparation for a fight. I pulled Bella closer to me once we were in the living room, bracing myself for whatever this meeting would decide.

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… I can't imagine acclimating to that much noise in your head. I'd go mad, I think.**

 **There's still more to come with this story, so I'm doing my best to get it written and posted. Don't forget there is a playlist for this story on YouTube under** _ **Even In Death**_ **.**

 **I've only just heard about the Manchester/Ariana Grande thing, and I don't know much details just yet, but my heart hurts when there's that much ugly in the world. I'm sure I'll be catching up as the morning goes on. Everyone stay safe.**

 **Mooches, Deb ;)**


	16. We Fear Nothing

**A/N… I feel like I'm running late to everything these days. LOL I'll let you guys get to it. See me at the bottom.**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 16 – We Fear Nothing**

 _We fear nothing  
We fear nothing  
Now that we've come so far  
Do you still remember our dreams  
The need to have it all?  
Don't give up  
I feel we are almost there_

 _Life long_  
 _Road blocks_  
 _High walls_  
 _Teardrops_  
 _Nothing stands in our way_

" _Nothing Stands in Our Way" by Lacuna Coil_

 **EDWARD**

The buzzing in my head grew louder the longer the stress in the house increased. I sat on the edge of the ottoman by the fireplace, my fingers gripping my hair as thoughts assaulted me.

Jasper was no better off than I was with so many of us now taking seats around the living room. Fear and anger and frustration pulsed through him, coming from various sources. Alice's visions kept changing; some didn't even finish before it took a different path. The presence of the wolves were not helping her whatsoever.

Emmett's mind took a volatile position. He was willing to stand up for the sake of his family, his mate, and his honor. To have taken care of a threat and now face possible punishment for it did not sit well with him.

The Denali women shared the same fear. They despised Aro. They hated him for some past altercation concerning an immortal they loved like a mother. I could only catch glimpses of a beautiful woman and a small child with red eyes. Kate and Irina wanted to go home immediately. Tanya wanted to set the Volturi on fire and _then_ go home.

Esme finally approached me carefully. Her instincts to care for the people under her roof were pulling at her too hard to ignore. She bent down and hugged me gently. "Edward?" she called softly, and I winced when I had to look up at her to distinguish whether she was speaking or thinking. "You okay?"

I nodded tersely, intrigued that she'd spoken her question, flinching when Rosalie's thoughts were extremely loud. She was pissed off at everyone – Carlisle for causing this entire situation, Victoria for being a "crazy bitch," at the Volturi for simply being nosey, and Bella for being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

My gaze locked on to her from across the room, a growl growing deep within my chest. My lip curled in anger. The only thing that stopped me from launching myself at her was the underlying panic. This had been her fear from the very beginning. It was why the first time she and I had met, she'd been terrified of the Volturi finding out that a human had been let in on their utmost secret – the existence of vampires. That latter concern was moot with my change, but her fear was still palpable.

Jacob's uneasiness centered around so many red-eyed vampires in his vicinity. Red eyes meant human blood, and human blood could not be spilled on his watch. He had come to terms with the immortals in the room, because we all drank from animals. The diet was disgusting to him, but he held up his end of the treaty because of that diet. To bring in human killers was making him nervous, which caused his ability to shift to become hard to maintain.

Lastly, the oldest of us – Eleazar and Carlisle – were discussing things in rushed and quiet whispers, one telling the other to go home, the other wanting to stand firm. Eleazar showed no fear concerning the impending visit of Aro and his brothers. Carlisle didn't exactly feel fear, but there was the unknown when it came to Aro. He wasn't always sure where he stood with them. When he'd lived with them in Volterra, he'd been considered an oddity with his choice of diets. Respect was given to Carlisle out of propriety, not because it was earned.

The touch that mattered most wrapped around me from the side.

"Let me help you," she pleaded in a whisper at my ear. She pressed kisses to my hair as if she could push the noise away with each one.

I finally conceded with a quick nod. Instantly, silence fell over me, and I practically sagged in relief, especially when her shield brought with it the only mind I truly _wanted_ to hear.

 _Better?_ she asked through her mind.

Nodding, I met her gaze. "Yeah, definitely. Thanks, sweetheart."

 _Edward, I know you want to acclimate, but you can't do it all at once._ There was a sweet chastisement in there, as well as concern and love and all things just _Bella_.

Smirking her way, I nodded. "I know," I said through a sigh. "I need to see Alice, though."

"Okay," she told me, glancing across to the raven-haired girl, who looked like I'd felt just a moment ago. "Alice, brace yourself."

Bella's shield incorporated Alice and Jasper, and the three of us took deep breaths and let them out. The removal of Jasper's talent from the rest of the room allowed everyone in it to relax. His ability to feel and manipulate emotions had a downside to it, which was that he had no alternative but to push everything he was feeling back out into the room. It magnified and multiplied before it hit everyone.

Alice, however, gasped and locked gazes with me. "That's helpful. Look."

Bella chuckled at her but stayed quiet by my side as I watched Alice's visions. They started out simple and inane – someone switching seats, Esme taking Carlisle's hand, Emmett getting up to pace. All three things then took place almost in that order. Without so many influences – not to mention Jacob and Leah – pushing in on Alice, her futures became easier to see, more fluid.

Even better was the fact that the four people under that shield were the four people Aro would want most. Alice sat very still, her eyes slipping closed, but her communication to me was nonstop and silent.

 _If Eleazar's family leaves, nothing changes. Aro is still coming. If he stays, then it'll look like we're ganging up…or…or…_ She stopped, tilting her head a little. _The sheer size of this coven will cause the Volturi to be uneasy, so adding Eleazar's family will look like we're building our own army._

"So, he should go," I surmised aloud, focusing only on her, but I did notice that the entire room had become quiet and still as they watched us with fascinated curiosity.

 _Maybe._ Her answer was for me only, because she was trying to see all the things all at once. _If the four of us leave with them… No, can't do that. Look._

Leaving Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett behind to face the Volturi didn't go well. It wasn't believable that four immortals removed an entire newborn army. And it didn't matter if we left them behind, because Aro could see through Carlisle's thoughts that there were more of us, that we'd left them behind. Splitting us up only made us look like we were running and hiding from them. Bringing the wolves into light in front of the Volturi caused panic and fighting.

"Alice, how are you seeing these with Jake involved?" I asked her, knowing that the presence of the wolves muddled her sight.

 _Watch._

She made decisions not involving the pack, only her family. If things went blurry or blank, she simply looked way ahead into the future to verify something went okay, which made me wonder just how much Bella's shield helped her. And with that train of thought, I wondered if Bella's shield could somehow block Aro's ability, stop him from seeing all thoughts, talents, and secrets that needed to stay quiet.

Alice's golden eyes opened to meet my gaze. "Oh! You think?"

"I don't know, Alice. I'm just wondering." I gestured around the room. "I can't hear anyone but the three of you outside her shield. I'm curious if it would work against Aro the same way."

"If he can't see our abilities, then he can't covet them," Jasper verified, looking between the two of us. "Is that what you're thinking?"

"Aro's mind-reading requires him to touch the person. Bella's shield may not allow him to come near the person he's wanting to touch." Eleazar's voice was calm, but he was curious, too.

Bella shifted a little next to me, her brow furrowed. "I don't know if I can allow touch but shut out his gift at the same time." Her gaze locked on to mine. _Jesus, can't we just tell him 'no thank you?' A simple, thanks for the offer of murder and mayhem, but we're happy with deer and bear and boring Pacific Northwest America? How does that shit play out?_

I snorted into a soft laugh, rubbing my face in frustration.

Alice caught her decision, her own smile spreading across her face. "The problem is… We don't know _why_ he's coming. Or rather, _why_ he's bringing so many."

Carlisle stepped forward, looking between us all. "Victoria's activities in this area would've thrown up a red flag to them. They watch for specific patterns to keep immortals from revealing themselves or outing us to the humans. He'd already sent scouts to feel out the Seattle situation, so if they reported back the size of my family, he could be coming to seek me out specifically for how large this coven has grown."

"Or one of them reported a human in your midst," Eleazar stated, gesturing my way. "Which, if that's the case, then they'll see he's immortal, and they'll have no leg to stand on. Again, we've broken no rules. In fact, we took care of a large newborn army _for them_."

"You take that stand on it, and he'll consider it insulting," Carlisle pointed out.

Jacob's patience finally evaporated. "Why the hell are we tiptoeing around these assholes? Are you that scared of them? Seriously? What's the outcome you're hoping to achieve?" He posed these questions while glancing around at all of us.

"We just want them to leave us to live the way we wish, Jacob," Carlisle answered. "I don't want to fight them, and I'm not sure it would work out in our favor if we did."

"Pfft," he scoffed. "I can make sure that it does work out in our favor. Fuck, I'll call the whole pack over."

Grinning at Bella, who had started to laugh a little, I glanced back to Jake. "You want to fight the oldest immortals on the planet?"

"No, I just want to protect my tribe, my friends, my pack." He paced a little, looking to Leah. "If you've done nothing wrong, then there's not fucking thing wrong with standing proud in front of them and daring them to say something."

My eyebrows shot up at that, but I looked to Alice. We were still encased in Bella's shield, so her visions were only influenced by the four of us, and it seemed Jake had driven home a point – we'd broken no laws _and_ we'd removed a threat. To have done that with very little public trouble was something to be proud of.

Alice saw them arrive, and we met them in the Alpine Lakes Wilderness. She searched this future without the wolf pack involved. The outcome kept shifting. Words were exchanged, but she saw small glimpses of moving, traveling, and Alaska.

She sighed deeply, looking to me and then Carlisle. "Unless one of them makes a spur-of-the-moment decision, then I see them come and go without much fuss."

The room went still, but we all looked to him for the next step. "Okay, we'll wait. Eleazar, it's up to you whether you stay or not. You're most welcome here for as long as you'd like."

Alice shook her head. "No offense to anyone, but I think it's in everyone's best interest if you guys went home to Denali."

Tanya's expression was disappointment, and she stood up. "Alice, you're sure?"

Alice nodded, but it was me who answered the question. "She sees it going two ways. If you stay, we look like we're standing _against_ them. If it's just us, then the only question is why Carlisle's family is so big. Two families seem like an aggressive stand."

Carlisle nodded in understanding. "Okay, I can see where appearances could be misconstrued as something they aren't." He offered his hand to Eleazar. "But I do thank you for coming to help us."

The Denali family started to say their good-byes, and I pressed a kiss to the side of Bella's head, whispering, "Sweetheart, you can lift your shield."

She smiled sweetly, her mind meeting mine. _Okay, ready?_ When I nodded, she pressed a kiss to my lips. _Once they're gone, Edward, we need a shower._ She raised an eyebrow my way.

Grinning salaciously, I nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I'm aware." However, my smile fell quickly as I realized we were back from the cave and things needed to be addressed. "And I need to call Charlie."

That sobered the room, but she lifted her shield from Alice, Jasper, and me. I flinched but thanked her, standing up to shake Eleazar's hand and say good-bye, along with Carmen, Irina, and Kate. Tanya, the boldest and most outgoing of the Denali clan, smirked as she walked to me. Her thoughts were curious as to how two humans could've been so well matched that they were immortal mates at the same time. She briefly wondered how often that had happened over time.

"Carlisle says it's rare," I answered her thoughts without thinking, grimacing. "Sorry. I'm getting used to it." I tapped my temple and shrugged one shoulder.

She chuckled. "No apologies necessary. Perhaps I should keep my mind… _cleaner_ when I'm around you."

"Perhaps," I said through a light laugh. "Although, I'm sure given time, it won't be the worst I see."

She smiled, and her thoughts hit me softly. _Bella's a lucky girl to find you not once but twice, Edward. That's really…special. And that was my jealousy outside, by the way._

She shot me a wink, shook my hand, and went to hug my wife, where she told her the same thing in a whisper. Bella smiled, nodding and thanking her kindly.

Once the Denali family had left, Carlisle faced us all as Bella linked her fingers with mine. "Okay, so we need to prepare to move." He nodded sadly. "Eleazar offered us space in Alaska. We'll get ready as we wait for Alice to let us know when the Volturi are close." He looked to me. "I'm sure Bella explained to you that we told Charlie you were very ill. So, keep that in mind when you call him. Now might be the time to plant the seed that you're considering moving out of state. A transfer, if you will. Whatever you come up with, we'll back you up."

I nodded, glancing down at Bella for a moment. "Okay."

 **~o~EID~o~**

My sensitive skin still felt the water from the shower and Bella's touches as I sat down on the edge of the bed after carefully pulling on a pair of jeans. I was finding it a bit easier to get used to everyday tasks if I slowed down. The ability to remember precise actions, feelings, and details were the key.

Steve gave a humming meow as he jumped from the chair to the bed. He sat down beside me, his sharp, yellow-green eyes trained on me as his orange-striped tail wrapped completely around him. I could hear his purr louder than when I'd been human. It rattled in his chest along with his rapid heartbeat and breathing.

"Hey, buddy," I whispered, offering my hand to him. And I couldn't help but smile when he immediately stood up to bump it with his head. His purr increased and his back arched when I gently ran my hand flat over him and down his back. Finally, he stepped onto my lap, placing his front paws on my chest so he could bump my chin. "I missed you, too," I said softly through a laugh, glancing up when Bella's own chuckle met my ears.

"He watched your change, Edward," she explained, scratching the top of his head. "He draped himself across your chest and dared any of us to touch you. I think he thought he was losing you." She wrinkled her nose.

He was still standing on my chest when I looked his way again. "Hey, Steve…I'm still me. Promise. Bella's still Bella. Promise that, too."

His cold nose and bristly whiskers pushed his purr over my skin and along my cheek as he rubbed on me over and over. It made me smile, but even though he was my beloved cat, my buddy, the little guy we'd raised from a kitten, I could smell his blood, hear it flowing through his veins. It rushed throughout his body, and my throat burned a bit, but I found it was manageable. My blurry memory of Jasper telling him he was barely a snack made me smirk, but he'd been right. Remembering the scent of the human, on the other hand, was sharp. As much as that had been tempting, I'm glad everyone had stopped me.

With one last muffled, "Hmmm," against my cheek, Steve walked off my lap toward the head of the bed, curling up on Bella's pillow. Apparently, I'd passed some sort of Steve inspection, and he'd decided to keep us.

I reached for my wife, pulling her between my legs and letting my forehead fall gently to her chest. Her hands raked through my damp hair, and her mind was silent to me for the moment, though it hadn't been in the shower. I was really beginning to appreciate being able to hear her mind when we made love. Before, I could see and feel how my touch was pushing her closer and closer to the edge, but now I could hear her mind, feed off what drove her crazy, what felt so good. Her love and want were so amazing to see in her mind. It was easily my favorite thing so far of becoming like her.

The Denalis had left us, and most of the Cullens had gone hunting. Jake and Leah had run home in wolf form to meet with the rest of the pack over the impending arrival of the Volturi. The exact day and time wasn't something Alice could see, but she did know that the snow was still on the ground.

We weren't alone, though. Carlisle and Esme were just downstairs; I could hear their minds, their worry over the possible outcome of the meeting with Aro.

Carlisle didn't want trouble. It was that simple. He'd apparently left Italy over a century ago with the desire to live the way he'd wanted without the taking of human life. The Volturi had never understood that, but they'd let him go without much fuss. His hope was that they'd allow him his family and way of life again.

Esme wanted to keep her family – and that included Bella and me – just the way it was. She worried for all of us, both new and old.

I inhaled deeply the scent of Bella, lifting my face from her torso to kiss her lips softly. "I can't procrastinate calling Charlie any longer."

Bella nodded, stepping away from me and sitting down in the chair in the corner of the room.

Careful of my strength, I picked up my phone from the nightstand. I hadn't even bothered with it when I'd been sick and had given it no thought whatsoever since I'd woken up from my change. I lightly touched the screen, shaking my head at several missed calls, both from Roxy and Charlie. There were texts and social-media alerts, not to mention the little annoying icon for voice mail.

Glancing up at Bella, I sighed. "Damn, I'd completely forgotten about Roxy."

My wife nodded, once again grimacing a little. "Yeah, it's easy to…" She gazed out the window for a moment and then back to me. She tapped her temple. "It's like being a hyperactive kid."

Grinning, I nodded in understanding. "I'm willing to guess – just by watching everyone else – that it settles down in time."

"Yeah, baby. It does. It's better after hunting, too – which we need to do soon, I think. It's better to go every day."

I nodded at her subtle suggestion, but in this case, she was speaking from experience, and I trusted her completely.

Gazing back down at my phone, I slowly acclimated on how to touch the screen, navigate menus and apps, until I finally landed on Charlie's worried and endless texts. They ranged from concern to anger, and the pleas to call him were plenty. He even mentioned his inability to reach Jake, and he wondered how we could all be that busy, or in my case, that sick.

Locking gazes with my Bella, I hit Send and put the phone to my ear. This conversation could go several ways. He could be angry or hurt, which sometimes culminated into one mood with Charlie. Or he could demand to set eyes on me, which was a terrible idea and couldn't happen. As much as I knew it would put his mind at ease, I wasn't willing to chance my thirst with him, not to mention my physical changes. The Volturi were too close, and even though I had a plan forming in my mind to leave Charlie with something, anything, I couldn't let him put the pieces together until after our Italian visitors had come and gone.

"Edward?" I heard over the phone. "Son? How you feelin'?"

"Hey, Charlie. I'm sorry I was kinda out of it, but I'm better," I answered him.

"You back at work?"

"No, sir. I'm still at Carlisle's. I won't be returning to the hospital."

He went quiet for a moment. "Kiddo, how sick are you?" he finally asked softly.

Smiling at his concern, I looked to Bella, who seemed to be fighting the need to cry. Her eyes blinked rapidly, and she turned to face out the window. Steve seemed to understand, and he got up, stretched, and made his way over to her.

"I'm… I'm okay, Charlie. I just… I wanted to let you know that I've decided to transfer out of state. There's a small hospital in Fairbanks, Alaska, that needs doctors. Carlisle and I are both taking positions up there."

"Alaska?!" he balked, and I knew him well enough that he was rubbing his face and his mustache. "You just… I thought… Aw, hell, kid, are you sure?"

Swallowing nervously, I winced at the burn of venom, but I let my gaze land on Bella, because what I was about to say was partly true and a touch of what-might-have-been.

"I think I need a new start, Charlie. I need a place where memories don't surround me every damn day. They're in my house, my car. They're all over the place, and I need a fresh start somewhere new."

He sighed deeply over the line. "Damn, Edward, I understand that. You're still young, with a life to lead and a long career ahead of you. You may even move on from Bella one day."

"I'll never love anyone like I love Bella," I stated firmly, meeting Bella's loving, warm gaze. "Moving on will never happen. She will always be my other half, Charlie. Without her, it would stay…missing."

"But Alaska? That's so far away. I can't exactly invite you over for football, now, can I?"

Chuckling, I shook my head. "No, sir."

"Well, hells bells," he said through a groan. "Can I see you before you go? When are you moving?"

"Actually, I'll be leaving before the year is out. I'll be sending for my things later. In fact, I'll be up there by Christmas."

"What about your house?"

"I'll keep the house, just in case, but it'll be closed up."

Charlie went quiet again. "Make me a promise, son."

"Sure thing."

"Promise me if you need something, you'll call me. I'm… Even if it's just to talk sports. I just… I feel responsible for you, kiddo, and I know you're grown and on your own, but…"

"You, too," I answered him immediately, smirking at my wife for the teasing I was about to do. "In fact, I've heard a rumor that you're seeing someone."

"Damn that Jake," he hissed, but he broke into a chuckle when I laughed at him. "Yeah, it just sort of _happened_. And it didn't seem right to…not with all you've been through, Edward. And hell, I barely know what I'm doing, but Sue's great."

"Good for you," I sang, still chuckling at his embarrassed blustering, but I decided to plant a small, insignificant seed. "Now you can be let in on all those Quileute legends Jake likes to smash in our 'pale faces.'"

Charlie laughed heartily. "They are interesting, that's for sure."

"Oh, they are that. It makes me wonder how many are _true_ ," I hedged, shooting my gasping wife a wink. "Bella loved Jake's _scary old stories_."

He laughed softly over the line again. "Speaking of… Have you heard from him?"

"Yeah, I saw him. He and Leah were here yesterday. They were in Seattle for the day," I lied smoothly. "He should be home now."

"Fair enough, son. Take care of yourself, and let me know when you've settled in up there."

"I will. And…thank you, Charlie. For _everything_." I said those last words earnestly, because they were the complete and utter truth.

"Yeah, well, you're like my own kid, Edward, so… Yeah," he mumbled and then said his good-bye.

I set the phone down on the bed beside me, glancing up when Bella came to me. She stood between my legs again, wrapping me in a fierce hug. At the same time, she wrapped me in her shield so her thoughts were all I could hear.

 _Thank you for that,_ she thought softly. _You think he'll figure it out._

"I don't know, sweetheart," I mumbled against the skin of her neck. "I hope he doesn't right away. At least until the Volturi have left."

She nodded, pulling back to look me in the eyes. _Is it wrong that I hope he figures it out eventually?_

Grinning, I kissed her lips. "No."

 _You think Jake will tell him?_

Chuckling, I nodded. "I think Jake has one or two ideas up his…paw."

Bella cracked up, her head falling back. But we turned when there was a knock at the door, and we both said to come in.

Carlisle was standing there, wearing an amused smile at our laughter, but I could only hear Bella's thoughts of curiosity.

"You did well with Charlie. That was the perfect cover," he praised, nodding a little. "And I'm glad you called him. He was worried for you, Edward."

Nodding, I wrapped an arm around Bella. "He's been a rock for me, Carlisle. I'm not sure…"

He nodded, holding up a hand to stop me. "It's all understandable."

Bella leaned against me, asking, "So what now?"

Carlisle's hands pushed into his pockets. "We get ready to move. No matter what Aro says, we'll still make plans to live our lives."

"Okay," she said firmly, turning to me. "We need to hunt again, Edward."

Smiling, I stood up from the bed. "Yes, ma'am. Lead on, beautiful."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… I know some of you were worried about Steve. He's still boss. Truly. LOL And** _ **most**_ **of you were worried about Charlie. You gotta trust me on this one. :)**

 **I'm slowly plugging away at this, and so far, I've been pretty good at keeping up with it. For those reading** _ **Six**_ **by Sarge's Girls, I do apologize for the hiatus it's on, but it will continue eventually.**

 **Remember there is a playlist for EID as well as some of my other fics over on YouTube. Search for me or** _ **Even In Death**_ **, you should find them pretty quickly. Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	17. Fooled the Devil

**A/N… Okay, so I was going to post this yesterday, but I got called into work early, which resulted in a 10 ½ hour shift. -_- So…I had to hold off until today. Sorry about that. I'll let you get to it.**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 17 – Fooled the Devil**

 _Sold my soul and signed my name in blood  
Stole it back now praying in the dark  
Fooled the devil  
Begging for a fight  
Count the dollars make your bet tonight_

 _Feel strong like an oiled machine_  
 _All the anger boils within_  
 _Move it_  
 _Give it_  
 _The high rollers are in_

" _Seal the Deal" by Volbeat_

 **EDWARD**

"Christ!" I snarled, both fists collided with a large tree trunk. My shock at it completely shattering and splintering into a multitude of directions brought me up short, not to mention the snow raining down all around me. "Oops," I muttered in amusement, but it was short-lived, because my frustration level was high.

Bella chuckled behind me, but her thoughts sank slowly down over me. _I won't let you mess up, Edward. Destroy all the trees you want, but I won't let you hurt a human. You'd never forgive yourself, baby. Hippocratic oath or not. It's not you._

Her mental voice was just as soothing as her real one, and with that shield of hers, the scent of the human that had driven me into a frenzy just mere seconds prior evaporated. I sat down hard on a small boulder, brushing leaves and snow from my hair.

"Thank you," I said through heavy breathing. Every inhale brought her scent with it, not the sweet, sharp call of human blood. "It's so damn tempting, even when…"

"Yeah, I know," she soothed, stepping between my legs. "I'm lucky I can block it most of the time. But once or twice, I've caught it. It's…rough."

Grimacing, I lifted my eyes to hers. I cupped her gorgeous face. "How bad was it for you?"

"In the beginning?" she verified, and when I nodded, she did as well. "Bad. But I don't know if it was all sorts of things with me. They were telling me I had to go, leave my husband behind, that hunting what we were made to hunt was bad. I fought them tooth and nail those first couple of weeks. Sometimes I was tempted to do it just to feel _something_."

I brought her lips to mine. "And you were angry. I see it." I tilted my head at her, and she nodded, glancing down between us in her usual embarrassed tell. "Well, sweetheart, I thank you for stopping me."

She nodded and smiled, glancing over her shoulder. "I wonder if the park ranger knows just how many times his life has been threatened in the last few months."

A laugh escaped me, and I shrugged. "He's a lucky guy, for sure." I patted the side of her thigh. "Lift that shield, sweetheart. Let me ease into it."

She cupped my face, pressing kisses to my lips as her shield slowly lifted off me. That beautiful mind of hers evaporated, and I inhaled tentatively, listening for the minds of the Cullens, who were out here with us somewhere.

It was closing in on Christmas, and we'd just had another snowstorm come through, giving the entire wilderness a blaringly white cover. I'd been a vampire for a little over a week, and in that time, we'd begun to get ready to leave Washington. Carlisle and I had put in transfers to the hospital in Fairbanks. Mine was false; Carlisle's was real. I'd even apologized to Roxy over the phone for not letting her know personally, but she was understanding about needing away from Seattle. She'd offered whatever help she could give, including taking care of Steve, but I'd told her he would be coming with me. Memories or not, fictional story about Bella or not, I couldn't have left Steve behind; he was everything Bella's and my love had raised together. Roxy understood that part, too. And he ruled us both with an iron paw, having grown impressively brave around a houseful of vampires. We'd obviously earned his trust.

That same week had brought very little activity from Alice's visions concerning the Volturi. They were still showing up when snow was still on the ground, and since we'd just had a storm, we all thought they'd show soon enough. Even Jake was keeping watch along the beaches and the woods of the Olympic National Park, since Alice could only tell we'd meet up with them in a wooded area. There was a brief debate of stopping over in Forks at the Cullen home there before heading to Denali, but everyone feared Charlie would catch wind that Carlisle was in town. However, Emmett and Rosalie volunteered to work with Jake in the Olympic area. At first sight or scent or new vision, one group would let the other know.

I breathed deeply again, catching the scent of the park ranger one more time. He was moving away, most likely to his station. I stood up from my spot on the boulder and nodded once to Bella to let her know I was okay to keep going. I needed to hunt a bit more before we headed back to the house.

Bella and I had taken down a couple of elk already, but we needed more, so we headed south toward Mt. Ranier National Park. As difficult as it was to acclimate to the constant burn of thirst, the draw to human blood, and the overwhelming buzzing in my head from minds everywhere, a few things had become rather enjoyable about my change into immortality.

Running had always been a stress reliever for me, and now the speed and agility that my new body contained made running a thrill. Hunting was also extremely stimulating. Not only did it help with concentration, sating the burn of venom at the back of my throat, but it allowed instincts to surface that made me feel powerful and alive. But the absolute breathtaking thing was being with Bella.

What could've been devastating and sad and terrible was now a learning experience with my wife, my _mate_ – the latter word was taking more precedence these days. We were learning together, and while the Cullens were a great source of helpful information, making our way just the two of us was what we were used to doing. Everything from learning to dress and governing our strength, to making love. It was all on us, and despite the few difficulties we ran into, the days usually ended with laughter and the two of us wrapped around each other.

The scent of something potent and appealing met my nose, and I stopped us just downwind from a large rock formation. The heartbeat was heavy and strong, and the sound that met my ears was frightening.

"Whoa," Bella barely said aloud behind me as she gazed over my shoulder. We both crouched low behind a boulder. "A mountain lion…"

I nodded, the scent making me lick my lips. Neither of us had hunted a carnivore, although Emmett swore that bears made for an exhilarating hunt. They were in hibernation, though, and we'd been unsuccessful in finding any. However, all the Cullens had told us that carnivores were the closest to human blood we'd find. Carlisle said it was due to their diet, that it was way different from the elk, mountain goats, moose, and deer, who feasted on grasses and other vegetation.

"He's gonna put up a fight," I stated softly, butI glanced to Bella, whose eyes had gone black. "Together, baby?"

She nodded vehemently, grinning at my chuckle.

We shifted away from each other to surround him. Bella hunted with that shield of hers, which kept her from losing her prey. This time, I was trapped within it, and I could hear her thoughts and directions.

 _Move slow. We'll grab him at the same time. Ready?_

I locked gazes with her briefly, giving her a nod. And when she mentally counted to three, we both moved, giving the large cat nowhere to go. The scent of adrenaline coursing through him was intense, causing a low growl to rumble out of me as I dodged his swiping claws, while Bella wrapped around his middle. Catching his next swiping paw, I pulled him to me, sinking teeth through thick fur.

The reward was like nothing I'd ever experienced. It was heavy, potent, and way more satisfying than any elk, moose, or deer…or hell, all of them combined. Bella's thoughts were identical as she drank from his front arm. When our gazes met, I knew this was my new favorite thing to hunt. And hers, too.

I also could see this was something so alluring and erotic that I was rather glad we were alone when we'd discovered it. As we pulled away from him at the same time, we were both breathing heavily, licking our lips.

"Wow," Bella whispered, tearing her gaze from mine to glance down at the cat. "Don't tell Steve we did that."

Grinning, I huffed out a laugh but pulled her to me so quickly, she squeaked in surprise. I kissed her like I needed it to live. Her response was to crawl to my lap, straddling me. There were grunts, heavy breathing pushed out against cheeks, and nipping of teeth. There were also gripping hands, grinding hips, and Bella's amazing mind, which was still wide open to me.

Breaking from her lips, I kissed down her neck, reading every thought that was flickering through her mind.

"Oh, God, baby... You sure?" I verified against the soft spot behind her ear.

"Yes, yes…"

Pulling back, I held her face in my hands. "How? Tell me – _show_ me."

A wickedly sexy smirk crossed her beautiful face, but I saw how she wanted me. Gathering her up into my arms, I walked us away from our recent meal and just inside the woods. And this part of my new life was _the very best_ part – above running, hunting, speed. The ability to hear my mate, cater to her every whim, and love her so thoroughly that I could see her mind completely shut down when she unraveled in my arms was leaps and bounds ahead of all the other fascinating things I'd learned in the first week of my newborn life.

Even though we were completely alone in those woods, I found a secluded spot behind a barrier of high rocks, low firs, and snow drifts. Setting her down on her feet for just a moment, I pressed her into the trunk of the large fir. Her needy gaze met mine, but I waited for her mind to settle on exactly what she wanted. I tilted my head when her hands reached for the hoodie I was wearing, dragging the zipper down slowly, but my gaze never left hers, and still, I waited. When she tugged at the button of my jeans, her eyes finally snapped up to meet mine. Her mental wish was my command.

 _Fast, hard, face-to-face._

"Yes, ma'am."

Kneeling in front of her, I picked up her right foot, tugged off the sneaker, and set it aside. It was a test in control to do it for the left, too, and then reach for her own jeans. Once she kicked out of them, along with her underwear, I stayed kneeling before her, gazing up at the woman who had once made me so nervous as a human that my palms would sweat, my words would come out jumbled, and made me want all things, all at the same time. Several things had changed since that time. So many things, I could barely count, but the look she was giving me at that moment was exactly the same.

Bella wore her love for me in that gaze, the look that only saw me and made me feel like the only person on the entire planet. She said I had tunnel vision, but I was damn sure we both did.

Rubbing her thighs, I pushed my hands beneath her sweater, wanting to feel all of her. I stood before her, skimming my hands flat over skin, cupping that sweet bottom of hers and lifting her effortlessly.

My forehead thumped to hers when she immediately reached into my jeans and wrapped her hands around my cock in order to pull me out. I let out a sound that was barely recognizable, something of a mix of a moan and a growl.

 _Your eyes are black, Edward,_ she pointed out as she slowly worked up and down my shaft.

"I just bet they are," I ground out through gritted teeth, my eyes squeezing closed to maintain myself, but I lifted her slightly. "Ready?"

I knew she was, but I asked anyway. I could smell her want for me hit the air, taste it on my tongue sharper than any blood. Her lips met mine roughly as she positioned me at her entrance, and I pressed her back into the trunk of that fir tree as I gave her exactly what she'd wanted – hard, fast, and face-to-face.

She felt like heaven – strong, wet, loving heaven. I could've taken her against that tree all day, just to see her come over and over. I fought instincts to rip, shred, and tear away the rest of her clothes, because she needed something to cover her when we returned to the Cullen home. Her mind was filled with how hard I was, how good I felt, and how lucky she was, which made me grin against the side of her neck and nip at her skin. That caused a growl to escape her, that feline sound that I'd first heard when I'd run into Victoria during my workout at the park. I'd grown to love that sound, the new, edgier part of her that my human Bella never had.

"Not yet, baby," I begged her, pulling back to see her face. "Wait for me."

Her body shook in my arms, her head fell back to the tree trunk, and even her legs started to wrap tighter against me as she fought her orgasm. Her mind was everywhere and nowhere all at once, but when her eyes started to roll back, I knew she couldn't stave it off any longer.

"Okay, okay…" I chanted against her lips, catching the sound she released with my kiss. When I could no longer hold back, one of my hands slammed against the tree trunk by her head, and my whole being quaked as I completely fell over the edge.

The forest was silent, sounds muted by snow and animals absent due to our presence. Even Bella's mind was quiet, that short moment I lived to cause. A smile curled up my lips, and I nuzzled her nose with my own – up one side and down the other – until her honey eyes opened.

"Lucky?" I asked softly, kissing her mouth when a breathy laugh escaped her.

"God, yes," she replied through a small giggle. "So very lucky."

Chuckling, I pulled her away from the tree and turned so I could lean back against it and sit down. I kept her astride my lap. We needed to dispose of our kill and head back, or at the very least meet back up with the Cullens. But I couldn't for the life of me move right that second.

The silent forest started to make me nervous. It was too quiet.

Patting Bella's leg gently, I said, "Lift that shield, sweetheart."

The silence continued for a beat or two. The scents I caught, however, were sharp, filled with an immortal sense of danger. They were coming from the south.

Tilting my head, I listened as far as my mind-reading would allow, finally catching a multitude of thoughts. Our phones alerted a text from Alice; she'd seen their arrival just as I'd caught the Volturi's collective mind.

"They're here," I whispered, my mouth hanging open, and Bella gasped, leaping from my lap. "C'mon, we've got to get back to Carlisle."

"Can we beat them back, Edward?"

Nodding, I tucked myself back into my jeans and zipped up my hoodie, raking my fingers through my hair as she pulled her own jeans back on, along with her sneakers. Just before leaving the area, I hid the lion under brush and fallen trees.

"Yeah, we've got to go now," I stated, pulling out my phone and calling Jake as I ran.

"We were just about to call you. We caught a scent heading east. There's a shit-ton of them."

"I heard them. They're coming up from the south. Bella and I were hunting, but we're ahead of them and downwind. They'll catch our trail soon enough," I explained to him.

"We'll be there, Ed."

Bella and I left the Mt. Ranier area and ran as quickly as we could back toward the Alpine Wilderness. It was there that we caught the scent of the Cullens. Their minds were worried. The four of them – Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, and Alice – were in a rather large clearing just beyond the lake and waterfall in which Bella and I had hidden the first two days after my change.

From what I could tell from Alice's continuous looping visions, she'd picked this spot specifically for it's walled-in feel. The mountain was behind them, rocks surrounded us on one side, and dense forest on the other. It was those thick trees from which Bella and I emerged.

"Jake's on his way," Alice and I said at the same time once we'd joined them, which made us smile when the others chuckled at what now seemed like a new development in how we communicated.

Alice's mind met mine, giving me a glimpse of the Volturi's arrival. They would, indeed, catch the scent of Bella's and my trail, coming in behind us through the woods. However, she also showed me when Jake and the entire pack caused her visions to go awry.

"How many are coming?" Carlisle asked her.

Her eyes glazed over as she sorted through her visions, trying to get a count. I could see the three brothers dressed in deep red – Aro, Caius, and Marcus – but I also saw immortals who seemed to be dressed according to ranks. Seven of them were in black, hooded cloaks, with red and gold emblems embroidered on the front. Two female immortals seemed to stay to the back, and they were in no particular uniform. Those two, however, had four of what looked to be a different type of guard, who were in a charcoal gray.

"Sixteen," I counted aloud, explaining what Alice was seeing.

Jasper frowned, thinking those odds were poor against us – not quite two to one, if the pack and Rose and Emmett didn't show. "And they brought their mates?"

"It would seem so," Carlisle surmised, shaking his head.

He paced in front of us for a few moments, his worry palpable, but his mind was centered on every step he'd taken, the path he'd led his family down. He couldn't see where anything that had been done was wrong or had broken any of the Volturi's laws. Even allowing me in on what they were was null and void, considering I was now one of them. However, the one thing that seemed to plague him was that he'd allowed the situation with James, Laurent, and Victoria to get so out of hand that it had brought everything else down upon them. It had sent Victoria into an unstable downward spiral and had condemned two innocent victims to an eternal life of damnation.

I snorted. "That's a little dramatic, don't you think?" I asked him, and he spun his gaze to meet mine. "I mean, now isn't the time for a philosophical discussion, or even a debate on souls and the afterlife, but I just think you're accepting way too much responsibility on this one."

His gaze softened as he realized his thoughts were no longer private.

"Sorry," I muttered, wrinkling my nose.

"Don't apologize, Edward." His voice was firm yet still kind. "You can't help what you can do. No more than Jasper can stop feeling and Alice can stop seeing her visions."

"Okay, but still…" I argued, gesturing between Bella and me. "This worked out, Carlisle. And I…I…I know I blamed you in the beginning, but we all pushed through it. I dunno. I just think you've _fixed_ it the best way you knew how."

Bella leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I dropped kisses to the top of her head, my eyes betraying me when I could hear a large group of minds grow closer. And it wasn't Jake and the pack.

"They're here," Alice and I said at the same time. She grinned when I shot a raised eyebrow her way.

Jasper snorted, rolling his eyes and thinking that he'd have to get used to our strange talents quickly, but he was grateful someone could share his wife's mental burden.

There was a touch of cheesy pomp and circumstance to how they filed into the clearing. Their minds were loud, the subjects ranging from getting back to Italy, to several wanting a fight after coming all this way. There was boredom and a sense of arrogance and hostility coming through Jasper, who caught my eye when he stepped up beside me.

 _What the hell?_ he thought to himself and to me.

I shook my head. "Some of them don't want to be here. Some are looking to fight," I stated so very softly. "I can't…distinguish which ones are which just yet, but—"

"Ah, Carlisle," the smaller immortal in the front called to him. "It's been too long."

"Aro," Carlisle greeted with a respective nod. "It's good to see you. Caius, Marcus, you two as well."

Those introductions were what I'd needed so I could get a read on the three brothers. The itch for a fight was coming from Caius, a small blond immortal with what looked to be a permanent scowl on his face. The disdain he carried for Carlisle and the diet he followed was rolling around in his mind as he hoped his brother called for the destruction of the strange coven. Caius hated what he didn't understand and was too damned arrogant to learn anything new.

Marcus was the bored one. Nothing held his attention for very long. His emotionless gaze was on an expressionless face as he slowly took in his surroundings, wishing this was done and having zero opinion on the outcome. Although, I caught tangible thoughts from Marcus concerning Carlisle until he glanced up to greet us. Marcus's talent was interesting. Carlisle said he could see the loyalties between people, and as I saw those connections through Marcus's eyes, my eyebrows shot up.

Each cluster of immortals had their own ties. Jasper and Alice, while connected to each other, also had a tie to Carlisle and Esme. Bella and I were bound by a strong connection, but we, too, were also tied to Carlisle and Esme. It created a web. As I gazed out over the Volturi, the web effect was the same. Some ties were stronger than others, and most were loyal to the brothers.

However, it was Aro my mind locked on to, because he was the name that brought fear, and he was the leader that could essentially end us all or demand our service. My hope was that there was a third option.

Aro stepped closer, his hands held up, palms out, as if in a surrendering gesture. "My how your family has grown, Carlisle," he sang in a falsely sweet tone.

Carlisle smiled, nodding once. "Yes, we've had some trouble as of late from some nomads, and it resulted in necessary changes."

Aro tsked, smiling widely. "So I've heard." He clasped his hands together. "Introduce me to your family."

"Of course," Carlisle agreed, turning to place a hand on Jasper's shoulder. "Aro, meet Jasper. His mate, Alice. This is Edward, and his mate, Bella. And of course, you know Esme."

"Yes, of course. Esme, it's been decades. Good to see you."

"You, too, Aro," Esme replied politely.

Carlisle, however, decided to address the elephant in the room. "Aro, what brings _all of you_ here, so far from Volterra? What makes you seek me out?"

He smiled eerily but paced in front of us. "I caught wind of a newborn army being created in these parts, and unlike the wars in the south with Maria—" he shot a look to Jasper before going on "—we decided to attend to it ourselves."

 _Asshole,_ Jasper thought to himself, but his face never flinched. _If he knows about Maria, then he knows what I can do. That can't possibly be his only reason for coming here._

I kept my face stoic, but I caught his gaze, giving him a barely there shake of my head. Aro's sole reason for bringing an entire troupe of immortals across the oceans was standing next to Jasper.

Alice.

She shot me a warning look, her mind sorting through all the visions she could. Her decision making was rapid and intense. She was looking for the correct approach to all of it. And she had to work quickly, because she knew Jacob and the pack would arrive shortly, which would negate all her visions.

Carlisle smiled. "Well, Aro, we removed that threat a little over a week ago."

"Just the six of you?" he countered, his eyebrows raising high, but he knew better.

"No, there were more, but the creator of that army and the army itself has been eradicated. Victoria was a rather unstable immortal, and I'm afraid her hatred was aimed our way. We'd asked her and her two friends to please leave our area to hunt, and they took offense." He placed a hand on Bella's shoulder. "They headed toward a small town a few hours from here. It has a small human population, but they attacked Bella here in their anger. I had no choice but to allow the change to continue once one of them bit her."

"You could've ended her suffering."

My lip twitched in hatred, but my beautiful mate spoke up gently. "Carlisle offered me the choice, sir. I've come to terms with it."

Aro smiled her way. "Bella… Short for _Isabella_ , I assume?" he queried, and she nodded. "A beautiful Italian name." He stepped closer to her. "I've also heard that there was a possibility that you, _Isabella_ , allowed a human to know what you were."

She smirked, pointing to me. "My husband and mate…and no longer human."

Aro grinned, calling for his brothers over his shoulder. "My dear brothers, have you ever seen this? Mates as humans _and_ as immortals?"

Caius scoffed, rolling his eyes; he had no interest in the direction of the conversation. But Marcus's reaction was interesting. He forced his bored gaze from the scenery around us and looked between Bella and me. His thoughts were truly intrigued, but Jasper was picking up a sadness that was almost crushing.

"I have, Aro. And so have you," was all he replied.

For the first time, Aro flinched. It was a blink of uncertainty, a blip in his confidence. A woman's face came to both Marcus's mind and Aro's. She was beautiful, with olive-toned skin, but she was clearly immortal with her deep-red eyes that seemed to look upon Marcus like he was the only thing in the room. He'd had a mate, but she was gone. How he pushed on without her was beyond me, but it may have explained his lack of interest in most everything around him. And his mate had been Aro's sister.

Aro, however, briefly allowed a touch of guilt to come over him but quickly pushed it away, setting his eyes on Bella. He debated on reading her mind but paced in front of us instead.

"How many in your family, Carlisle?" he asked suddenly.

"With Edward and Bella, I have eight."

Aro glimpsed toward me but went back to Carlisle. "Those numbers are unnerving to me. It seems rather large. A coven of immortals that large usually tear each other apart eventually."

Carlisle sighed deeply. "I've given you my explanations for why we don't, Aro. It wasn't so long ago I was presenting you with my hypothesis in your study. Diet has everything to do with it."

Aro wrinkled his nose, waving that away. "Still, I feel like this _family_ of yours is growing larger in a threatening way."

"We are no threat, I assure you. We simply wish to live as a family, choosing a different diet than the norm," Carlisle calmly explained.

Caius's patience completely unraveled at this point. "Just end them, brother, and be done with this ridiculous propriety." _I never understood his leniency for Carlisle Cullen._

That thought made me frown, but I waited for Aro's decision.

"On what charges, Caius?" Marcus asked him, gesturing our way. "We came here…or we were brought here under the guise that there was a newborn army, which is no more. We also were to see about the human who knew of us, but he is now one of us. There are no charges. They've done no wrong. No rules are broken."

"The sheer size of this coven is an army on its own," Caius spat, glaring at Aro. "And just how many carry talents? How many could be used against us?"

Aro smirked, nodding a few times. His mind was grateful for his brothers. They were hot and cold, black and white. Marcus and Caius were opposites, and they always seemed to bring a new outlook to each situation.

"That would be a very good question," he sang, rubbing his hands together. "What say you, Carlisle? Who among you carries an extra talent?" He asked this rhetorically, because he already partially knew the answer. "Alice," he said, stepping in front of her. "My dear Alice. What I wouldn't give to have your talent. Have you seen the outcome of this meeting already?"

Alice smiled sweetly. "I've seen several outcomes."

"Excellent!" he praised, clapping his hands and then holding one out. "May I?"

We all tensed, because if Alice touched him, then he'd see everything. He'd see my mind-reading, Bella's shield, and it would confirm whatever he'd heard about Jasper. But it would also show him Jacob's pack, and we weren't quite sure how the Volturi would take to the shape-shifting Native Americans.

Alice's mind hit me softly before she moved to touch Aro. _This may end ugly. The wolves are close, because my visions are blurring. I see them panic._

Shifting a little, I linked my fingers with Bella's and gave her hand a squeeze to let her know to brace herself.

As soon as Aro's fingers wrapped around Alice's hand, his eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. "That's impossible!" he snarled, glaring at her and then around to his guards. "Werewolves! They associate with our natural enemies!" he told them. "They were destroyed centuries ago. We hunted them all down!"

Before Carlisle could correct him, movement from the trees around us and the long, low howl of one of the wolves echoed in that clearing.

Aro's temper snapped. "You're trying to destroy us!" He spun on his heel. "Kill them all!"

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… I know, I know… My pre-readers just about cussed me the fuck out. ;) Everyone take a deep breath. I've got this. The reason I ended it here was that this was already running long. And the next part would be pretty wordy too, so the cliffie was out of necessity not cruelty. Although, it feels that way. Sorry.**

 **I'm supposed to be working on** _ **Six**_ **next. Depending on which Edward decides to play nice, I'll be writing one or the other over the next week. This Edward is pretty damn demanding, but** _ **Six**_ **is almost complete. We'll see who wins that battle.**

 **Okay, the playlist is on YouTube if you're interested. Just search drotuno or** _ **Even In Death**_ **. Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	18. Summon Every Nerve

**A/N…Yes, yes…cliffie. I'm out of your way… ;)**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 18 – Summon Every Nerve**

 _Eyes huge, so little left if something  
Cracks and clues, he's crazy as a straw  
Why denied, does no one care or nothing  
How, you ask, I ever last so long_

 _Cause I, I went blind, a blinding riot_  
 _He's regretting every word_  
 _Those empty lies_  
 _One more tonight, a blinding riot_  
 _As I summon every nerve_

 _"Take Out the Gunman" by Chevelle_

 **EDWARD**

"You're trying to destroy us! Kill them all!"

The cacophony of mental noise that hit me was almost debilitating. _No one_ wanted a fight, except maybe the wolf pack against the red-eyed bloodsuckers and Caius. The Volturi gaped at the sheer size and number of the pack, second guessing the orders they'd just been given. Caius stepped forward in anticipation, rubbing his hands together.

Emmett and Rosalie came from the back of the pack, standing beside Bella and me. They'd been afraid this would happen, and they weren't alone in that thinking. Carlisle and Esme had been expecting this as well.

Jake directed his pack, which started to move into a formation of sorts, flanking us as well as stepping toward the front. There were ten of them – ten enormous, pissed-off, growling, snarling, drooling wolves the size of grizzly bears.

Alice, however, pushed by them, calling to Aro. "You saw what you wanted, not the outcome, Aro!"

Jasper was immediately behind her when two of the Volturi guard maneuvered to the front. They looked so very young, a girl and boy. It was the girl whose thoughts I caught first.

 _Pain._

"Bella, shield… Shield all of us now!" I hissed urgently.

Alice flinched, and a scream barely left her lips before Bella's shield enveloped us and the wolves. The young immortal girl grimaced, her face fierce concentration, but she glanced up wide-eyed to the boy next to her. He frowned, holding out his hands to send out a black cloud. It crawled our way, snaking over and around us, but Bella's shield clearly kept it from touching us. And I honestly wasn't sure I wanted to know what that cloud could do. Darkness enveloped us in a dome of swirling black smoke or vapor, and we all glanced around nervously as the wolves growled low.

"Alec, stop," Marcus stated, sounding weary or bored or maybe even indifferent. I could no longer hear their minds to be sure, just the pack and my new family. "They have a shield. A rather powerful one, at that. Aro, stop this nonsense. It's broad daylight; those are not the Children of the Moon we once eradicated."

"But they're using them against us!" Caius snarled, turning to Aro. "Traitors!"

"Defense," Marcus countered, gesturing our way. "They could've already ended us all with those…those…"

"Shape-shifters." It was Bella's voice to ring out for the answer, and she was nervous but irritated. "Don't you research where you're dragging your…your…army off to? The legends of the Native Americans in this area are in print and online. You could've read the legends of these people." She tapped Jake's large flank but scowled across the clearing. "The Quileute tribe descended from wolves. They were forced to shift into what you see in order to protect their people from vampires. The only reason they're on our side is because of our diet. They neither answer to you, nor do they follow your laws. In fact, you're on _their_ land."

 _Oh, damn…_ Emmett thought to himself, shaking his head. _Bella just accused the oldest immortals on earth of being ignorant. Aro should've Googled some shit, huh?_

I snorted, but he was right. Bella had just accused them of not doing their homework.

Something akin to amusement crossed Marcus's face, and I whispered to Bella to lift her shield. I needed to hear the group of people across the way. Those additional thoughts slammed into my mind, but I maintained a calm expression as Carlisle stepped forward.

"We're not here to fight you, Aro. We've broken no laws here. Our treaty with the Quileute is a peaceful one; it always has been, for over a century. We respect their land, and as long as we live on the diet of animals, they respect my family." He dragged his gaze over his wife, the wolves, and the rest of us. "They're assembled here today because of me. The nomads who started this had no respect for anything and therefore unleashed a chain of events that couldn't be stopped."

"So you take responsibility for this madness?" Caius asked him, his thoughts gleeful at the mere idea of ending Carlisle.

"I do," Carlisle agreed easily but not for the same reasons Caius was thinking.

Alice stepped to Bella, and like before, my wife created a bubble around Alice, Jasper, and me. Alice needed to see her visions without so much interference. She needed to protect the four of us while she did it.

Jasper met my gaze. _This will be an ugly fight. Those two in the front have powers that could bring an immortal to their knees. But these wolves could remove the Volturi from this earth. No one wins. I don't even have to see Alice's visions to know that. There will be death in this clearing…on all sides._

I nodded because he was absolutely correct. Alice's visions, with the removal of the pack mind and the rest of the mental influence outside Bella's shield, were exactly how Jasper had just predicted.

The fight would be brutal. Death would reach all three groups – the Cullens, the pack, and the Volturi. No one would walk away without loss. Two wolves would fall, and the Volturi's numbers would be significantly diminished when it was all over. We'd lose Carlisle, Jasper, and Bella, which caused my soul to shatter. My eyes closed, and I couldn't stop myself from stepping closer to her, linking my fingers with hers, and inhaling the scent of her at her temple.

The key to stopping this standoff, however, was the very last part of Alice's vision. She gasped, locking gazes with me. For a brief moment, I wondered if it was worth outing my ability just to make a point to Aro.

 _He'll want you…and me. More than any other,_ Alice thought to me, but she stuck her chin out in defiance. _But I'll stand with you._

Steeling my nerves, I kissed Bella's lips, whispering I loved her, and let go of her hand to face the Volturi.

"Aro, you should truly see what the outcome is," I stated, and Alice and I moved forward. I held out my hand as an offering, as a gesture of goodwill.

"Why you? Why not Alice?" he asked as he and Caius met us in the middle of the clearing.

"Because with me you get _everyone_." I held his cold yet curious gaze. "You can hear the wolves, your own people, and my family."

"A mind reader?" Caius asked incredulously. Again, the word traitor crossed his thoughts.

"We're not traitors," I argued, shaking my head at his gasp. "We're protecting ourselves. You've ordered our deaths. The least you could do is listen, see for yourself what the future holds, but you can also see that there was no ill will here today. We knew you were coming. We've been told how you deal death without batting an eye. Personally, I couldn't care less about you, or how big Carlisle's family is, or even how badly the pack wants to destroy you. I… I just want to walk away with my wife, my mate. I'd thought I'd lost her, but she protected me, even when she shouldn't have come near me. I just want to continue a life I'd already started with her."

Marcus joined his brothers and Alice and me. His thoughts kinder than the others, much more understanding. "Listen to the newborn's thoughts, Aro," he stated. "Tell us what you see, and let's be done with this."

Aro glanced at my hand, which was still outstretched for him.

"It's a trick," Caius warned. _My brother is a fool!_

"It's no trick," I countered firmly.

Aro's hand touched mine, and his eyes widened. He saw everything, and I could see how his mind-reading worked versus my own. He could pull every thought from me – past and present – where I caught just what someone was thinking at the moment. However, with his ability, he could hear all I'd already heard. It was like reliving the last several months all over again in fast-forward.

His eyes tightened at the sheer mental din he could hear in my mind, and he quickly wondered how I could focus with that amount of constant noise.

I huffed a humorless laugh. "It's not without difficulty."

The loss, the heartache, the mystery surrounding Bella was hard to watch again. Then he saw the conversations with Jacob and the phone calls from a wife who should've been dead. The discovery of the Quileute legends and the Cullens was next, making his brow furrow. The fight with Victoria, the three days of burning, and finally he saw the vision that prepared us for the Volturi's arrival.

Once we arrived to the current circumstances, I braced myself. The fight Alice envisioned was chaos and anarchy. There were fires and smoldering immortals, along with the blood of the wolf pack. Carlisle died at the hands of Caius, which made me sneer at the simpering little shit. Jasper's fate fell to a large immortal named Felix. But it was Aro who ended Bella, which sent me into a newborn, bloodlust frenzy. His head was removed by my hands, because every thought he had only aided my ability to counter, and he didn't stand a chance.

"You…" he barely said aloud. "You wouldn't!"

"You touch her, and I damn well would. I promise you that, consequences be damned." My lip curled in hatred. "Now… _listen_." I stared him down, my nostrils flaring in hate and impatience. "Listen to the thoughts around you. The wolves only want to protect humans from us. The Cullens merely want to live in peace, taking whatever diet suits them, and your own people…they trust you, but you'll lead some of them to their own demise. The only one who really wants a fight is him." I pointed to Caius, who looked taken aback.

He'd learned to avoid his brother's touch unless absolutely necessary. But Aro didn't need it with my ability at his fingertips, and he narrowed his eyes at Caius, thinking his brother wanted a fight in order to take over the Volturi, to take control should Aro be killed.

Paranoia and anger hit Jasper, and Aro caught that as well. But the one thing that made Aro remove his touch from mine was Alice's current prediction. She saw him leaving us in peace, and she searched way into the future, showing him that no other issues arose from the Cullens or the wolves. There were flashes of Bella and me learning to adapt to our new lives, with an intriguing look into a small home, almost a cabin. Even more interesting was the Cullens going back to what they did in order to live for longer periods in one place. I also caught a glimpse of working with Carlisle once more. That last thing made me glance to Alice, who was fighting her smile.

However, Aro's hum of disapproval caught our attention.

"Carlisle's coven is still too large," Aro pointed out.

"It'll eventually be back to the same size. You saw that in her prediction."

"You don't wish to stay with them?" he asked me.

"I'm a week into this life, Aro. I just recently got my wife back, but Bella and I had a life before all of this. I can't see us… I owe Carlisle a debt of gratitude for giving her back to me. He vowed to us that he'd help us through this first phase, and I appreciate it. I will forever be grateful, but I don't see us with them at all times. Nearby? Maybe. With them? No."

Aro's selfish first thoughts were exactly as I'd expected, a place in their ranks for Alice and me, which by proxy included Jasper and Bella.

"No, thank you," Alice and I said at the same time, which amused him and our family, but he nodded when he saw her vision of Esme's heartbreak, Carlisle's despair, Jasper's mental breakdown living in Italy, and my thirst getting the best of me, which would cause a guilt so deep and thick I'd never be the same person again. And I couldn't allow Bella to take a human life, either; she would never forgive herself. Though, of all of us, my faith in her was unwavering when it came to maintaining the diet of animal blood.

"I can't, Aro." I shook my head. "It's not what you consider normal, but I can't live any other way. But if you choose to fight today, Alice's vision won't change."

Aro frowned, the cheesy smile and laughing eyes at his upper hand gone. He nodded, turning to his brothers. "There will be no fight today."

What I found amusing was the fact that Aro didn't explain _why_ he'd changed his mind. Every member of his guard behind him were curious yet relieved. However, it was purely selfish. His self-preservation was the only reason he decided to walk away from a fight. He didn't want to die. Aro didn't give a damn about anyone else losing their life in that clearing, but he weighed out all that his brothers had argued and turned back to face us all.

"We'll be checking in on you, Carlisle. Please make sure to maintain the laws. Should your coven get out of hand, we'll be visiting you again."

Carlisle bowed his head a little, his mind terribly curious as to what had changed Aro's decision. "I assure you, Aro, there will be no problems."

"See that there aren't."

Aro turned, gesturing to his guard to move on.

Marcus gave me a nod, then Carlisle. "You are all most welcome in Volterra, should you come that way."

What he didn't say aloud as his blank gaze trailed over Bella and me was that he knew the collection of immortals and shape-shifters in front of him were far more loyal to each other than the entire lot of guards behind him were to Aro. The fight would've been a massacre; he didn't have to see Alice's prediction to know it, because he could see the ties we all had to one another in various ways. We would fight for each other with passion, honor, loyalty and, most importantly…love. The Volturi would not.

"Thank you. It was good seeing you again, Marcus," Carlisle replied gratefully. He nodded to Caius, as well, in order to show good form, but Caius scoffed and turned away without a word.

The Volturi filed out of the clearing, and Jacob gave an order to his pack to silently escort them out of the area, to stay back but watch them carefully. Several wolves broke out of formation in multiple directions, and Jake walked away to shift into his human form.

Once he was back, standing there in his usual long, khaki cargo shorts. "What the hell was that?!" he asked, pointing over his shoulder.

I grinned but grunted when Bella rushed to my arms. "Easy, sweetheart. It's over," I soothed in her ear.

Everyone around us wanted to know the answer.

"Aro didn't want to die," Alice and I said together, laughing along with everyone else.

Raising an eyebrow at a giggling Alice, I added, "It was purely selfish. Had we fought, Aro wouldn't have walked away from this clearing."

"He wouldn't have been the only one, though," Alice told them sadly, having seen the death in her visions. Her eyes landed on Carlisle, Jasper, and then Bella, who was still wrapped in my arms with her face in the crook of my neck.

"Who would've killed Aro?" Rose asked incredulously.

"Me." My answer was firm and truthful, and everyone around me went still and quiet, but I simply continued to drop kisses to the top of my wife's head, running my hands down her back.

It was Esme who caught on first, and she gasped. She put it together that I would've lost Bella and killed Aro in a fit of rage. I simply nodded her way.

"Well, then, I'm glad it's over," she said, not voicing any of it. "I suppose it's time to finish packing and move."

There were grumbles of having to pack, and Jake slapped my shoulder before following Emmett and Rose out of the clearing. I didn't move from my spot, and Bella seemed content to stay in my embrace. Just before he followed Esme, Carlisle walked to the two of us, his gaze meeting mine. He had several questions rolling around in his mind, but I stayed quiet, patient enough to let him sort out what he wanted to say.

"You handled Aro well, Edward," he stated softly, and Bella turned to face him. "It was a risk to show him what your talent was but a wise decision in the end. What did he see?"

I shrugged, kissing the back of Bella's head. "Alice and I showed him everything. Past, present, and future. He saw it all."

 _My family will never be the same now that you're with us._ He thought that to me, but he'd heard my statement to Aro about not living with the Cullens. _Thank you, Edward._

I nodded, giving him a small smile before he left Bella and me alone in the clearing. I sighed deeply, turning her to face me.

"Can I hear just you now?" I asked her, grinning at her adorable giggle and sweet kisses to my lips. As soon as all the minds that were fading in the distance disappeared, I heard my wife's, my _mate's_ , beautiful mind.

 _Did you mean what you said, Edward?_

"Which part?" I asked in a whisper as I brushed kisses across her lips.

 _The part about continuing the life you and I started._ Her golden eyes blinked up at me, and she wanted to know if that was something for Aro or if it was the truth.

"It's absolutely the truth, my Bella," I vowed. "We wanted a life together. Now we can have endless lives together. And honestly, sweetheart, I can't wait to get started."

Bella kissed my lips. "Okay…" She nodded, pulling back and cupping my face, thinking I was handsome and brave and so very sweet. It made me chuckle at her, but she simply kissed me again. "Okay," she said again. "Then before we leave Washington, I… Edward, can we get a few things from _our house_?"

I pulled her to me again. "Anything you want, Bella. I promise." I squeezed her close, adding, "Now, we just have to explain to Steve we're moving him… _again_."

Bella giggled but pulled back to link my fingers with hers. "He'll be pissed."

"Mmm, probably."

 **~o~EID~o~**

I pulled into the driveway of my home, huffing a soft laugh at that word. The house Bella and I had bought not even a year ago could barely be considered "home." It would have been, had things turned out differently. It could've been the place Bella and I had started and raised a family. It might have even been the place where we retired and grew old together.

On the flip side, the house held heartbreak. It was the bright, beautiful beginning that was destroyed by loss, even if the loss was temporary. In grief, I'd begun to hate the house my wife had adored from the first picture she'd seen. The feelings I had for the pile of bricks and mortar in front of me were good and bad, and I didn't quite know what to do with those feelings.

As I parked my car behind Bella's little Volvo, I listened to everything around me. The neighborhood was quiet, human minds blurry with dreams or alcohol, depending on which house I focused on. I could smell blood, hear heartbeats, and taste venom at the back of my throat, but my thirst was manageable since I'd hunted on the way here. Stars could barely be seen with the bright street lamps on, but no one was watching as I got out, grabbed a few boxes from the back of my SUV, and went inside.

The house had a closed-up, musty smell, the scent of the humans we once were slowly ebbing away. The lights were off, except for the one in the stairwell that I usually left on when no one was home. All curtains and blinds were drawn shut, too, which made moving at vampire speed a touch easier.

However, one scent was new and bold, and it was coming from the den. I leaned in the doorway, watching Bella walk along the bookshelf while her fingers trailed down the side of my piano. Her smile was sad but no less beautiful than it always was. I'd dropped her off so she wouldn't be seen coming in, and as much as I wanted to hear her mind, I'd asked her to keep her shield down because I needed to hear the neighborhood around me while I was inside the house. However, I was terribly curious as to what she was thinking.

"I feel…" she started but seemed to struggle to find the right word. "I feel _cheated_ out of this house."

Nodding, I walked to her to press a long, heavy kiss to the middle of her forehead. "Me, too," I whispered against her skin. "But not as cheated as when I thought I'd lost you."

Her nose wrinkled adorably when I pressed my forehead to hers. "I know. I'm sorry. You were so hurt, Edward."

"I was. I'm pretty good now," I said, a smile curling up my lips when she giggled a little. I pressed a brief kiss to her lips. "Sweetheart, this is your show. Tell me what I'm taking. We've got a couple hours at best."

She sighed, kissed me back, and then pulled away. "Just personal stuff, baby, and some clothes from upstairs. Oh! And Steve's stuff."

"You know, they make more scratching posts and cat toys, my Bella."

"Oh, but they're _his_ things, Edward!" She pouted like a damn champ at my laugh. "Seriously. Some of those toys he's had since he was a kitten when we lived at the apartment."

Grinning, I shook my head. "I'll take the upstairs. You got the downstairs? And we'll drop everything we're taking by the front door."

"Deal."

I passed the kitchen and headed upstairs. The spare bedroom was still an unpacked mess of boxes and things that had never truly found a place in this house. There were new, decorative things Bella had bought before we'd even closed on the house, and there were things I'd had no clue where to put once she was gone. Even when Charlie and Jake had helped me unpack the necessary stuff, we'd been lost as to most of the boxes we'd stashed in the spare room.

In the master bedroom, I opened the closet, pulling out the clothes Bella and I would need the most while in Alaska. My nose wrinkled at the thought, but this was something we couldn't avoid. We had to go. We had to get out of the place where we knew too many people, but we also needed to go to learn. My thirst was under control at the moment, but soon the humans surrounding us in their homes would start to become harder and harder to resist, which was why I told Bella we had a couple of hours to get this done. We'd wanted to do this alone, without the Cullens' help, and Alice had seen it work, but only if we kept our time limited. We'd chosen to come in the middle of the night so no one would pay me any attention pulling back into my driveway after being gone for several weeks.

I toted the clothes from the closet to the chair by the front door and went back up to pack a bag of the things from the dresser. Once clothes were done, I found all of Steve's toys, his tall carpet-covered cat tower, and his bed. All that went to the front door so I could load it up in the SUV.

Before tackling the kitchen, where I knew the fridge needed emptying and the dry goods needed to be donated, I stopped to check on Bella. She was packing up books, DVDs, and music. Some of it was coming with us, and some would stay boxed here at the house. Sitting on top of my piano were the covers for it. Next to them were the two small books Bella had left for me as a hint that she truly wasn't dead – the book of poems and the one on Washington legends.

I picked them up, smiling a little, a small idea forming in the back of my mind. Setting them aside to take with us, I then started to unfold the covers for the piano.

"Edward, wait," Bella said softly, her brow furrowed as she glanced from the piano to me and back again. "Can you… Do you think…"

"You want me to play, sweetheart?" I asked her. "You think I could do it and not smashit into oblivion?" I chuckled a little at her wince. "I dunno, baby. I'll try."

I hadn't played in months. When Bella was gone, it shattered me to play to an empty house. When I got her back, I'd played a few times, but we hadn't stayed here in this house for long. There was a piano at the Cullen home, but I was pretty sure it was just for decoration, because no one ever went near it. Now that I was changed, I worried my strength would be too much.

I sat down on the bench, carefully lifting the cover. Barely touching it, I trailed my fingers along the keys. Recalling music was a touch more difficult, but when blurry notes from my human memories surfaced, I carefully made a chord. It was a learning experience, that first song. It was wrong, too slow, not quite loud enough where it should have been, but with each chord I made, I adjusted, learned, and committed it to memory.

My brow wrinkled when the song ended, and Bella's arms wrapped around me from behind, her lips at my ear.

"It's still in one piece."

Grinning, I shot a glance at her over my shoulder, and she kissed my cheek. "That was…interesting. I could hear everything." She nodded, but I went on. "I could even hear where it needs tuning a bit. It was like…being one with the piano. Like it was an extension of my hands."

"And you'll remember every song now from perfect memory."

I laughed, pulling her down to my lap. Cradling her in my arms, I kissed her. "I guess so."

She gazed over at the piano, and then she cupped my face. "I want you to have that escape. You've always had it, so wherever we end up after this Alaska business, I want you to bring this with us."

"Me, too."

She sat up in my arms, shifting until she was straddling me on the piano bench. "I love you, Edward. And…I…I know this isn't how we thought our lives would go, but…I want you to know that we can do this. We can find some sort of way to live. I'm sorry that—"

I kissed her lips hard. I didn't have to read her mind to know which apology was coming. We'd wanted a family. We were going to try after I got through the first year of my residency.

"Hey," I whispered against her lips. "Who's to say we would've had a family?" I shrugged a shoulder. "Who's to say plans don't change? I don't know what could've happened in the next year of our _human_ marriage. Things happen – sickness and struggle and who knows what. No one could predict it, except maybe Alice."

Bella snorted adorably. "I know, but we…"

"We've taken a different path, my Bella," I said simply, trailing my fingers along her worried face. I tilted my head a little at her, reaching up to brush her hair back. "Jesus, sweetheart, you're everything to me. You always have been. Kids, no kids, houses, Alaska, Timbuktu, a cave in the side of a mountain…" I grinned at her sweet giggle. "All of that simply doesn't matter if I have you. None of it is as important as this, right here." I framed her face with my hands.

"And Steve."

"And Steve, of course."

"I'm almost done in here."

"I'm almost done up there."

"We still have the kitchen," she pointed out.

"I know," I grumbled through a disgusted expression, because the fridge was going to be nasty. Human food was foul now, but human food gone bad would be torture. "And you need to walk through the spare room for anything else you may want."

"Okay."

My gaze stayed on hers, and she made no move to get up, which caused me to smirk up at her. The rhythm of our conversations never changed, and neither did the way Bella gazed dreamily at me. No mind-reading needed for that, either.

"Tunnel vision, sweetheart," I teased her, but I could see her mood shift.

"I can't help it. We're _alone_ , in _our house_ , for the _last time_ , and I'll miss loving you in _our bed_."

Feigning a serious expression on my face, I pretended to consider it, but I swiftly gripped her bottom and stood up with her in my arms.

"Well, then, I think we should send this house off with style."

Her head fell back with her laugh, and I kissed her neck as she said, "Me, too."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N…So my goal was to post this on Edward's birthday, just because…we're all here because of that now 116 year old vampire, so…** _ **fitting**_ **. LOL And since we're all about vamps in this one, why not? ;)**

 **This story has a few more chapters to go, so the end is coming up. That being said, for those that are reading** _ **Six**_ **by me and JenRar (under Sarge's Girls), I will pick that up after I'm done with** _ **Even In Death**_ **. This story is flowing, and I'm going to run with it until the end.**

 **I think that's it for now. Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	19. Darkness Can Show You the Light

**A/N… Hey, guys… I'll let you get to it. I suppose this is for #TeamSteve. ;) See me at the bottom…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 19 – Darkness Can Show You the Light**

 _An unforgivable tragedy_ _  
The answer isn't where you think you'd find it  
Prepare yourself for the reckoning  
For when your world seems to crumble again  
Don't be afraid, don't turn away  
You're the one who can redefine it  
Don't let hope become a memory  
Let the shadow permeate your mind and  
Reveal the thoughts that were tucked away  
So that the door can be opened again  
Within your darkest memories  
Lies the answer if you dare to find it  
Don't let hope become a memory_

 _When you think all is forsaken,_  
 _Listen to me now_  
 _You need never feel broken again_  
 _Sometimes darkness can show you the light_

" _The Light" by Disturbed_

 **EDWARD**

"C'mon, Steve," I called to him, and he hopped down from the steps of the small cabin Bella and I shared on the Denali property.

I set the backpack down onto the ground, and his stubborn ass crawled into the open bag. Leaving it unzipped, I pulled the thing onto my back, immediately feeling Steve shift so that he was holding on to my shoulder. Shaking my head and rolling my eyes, I glanced over at him. His purr was loud, his eyes bright with thin, slivered pupils, even though the day was cloudy. He rubbed his face against my jaw, pushing that purr against my skin.

Bella's giggle made me smile. "He might just be the most spoiled cat on the damn planet."

"Hmm?" he hummed her way, clearly affronted at the insult.

"Spoiled, Steve. I'm not sure there's a cat anywhere that gets to explore all of Alaska's wilderness."

Grinning, I shrugged a shoulder, which raised Steve up and down. "Because most cats would get themselves killed. This guy has the best bodyguards to protect him from bears and really big birds of prey."

Bella laughed but took off into the woods, and I followed. We'd been in Alaska for about six months. Spring was giving way to summer in Denali, so the air was comfortable and everything was green and prospering. Hell, _we_ were prospering. Steve had protested the move grumpily, though it didn't take long for his curiosity to get the better of him, _and_ he became clingy. We took him everywhere with us, except on the hunt. When we hunted, he stayed home.

However, today was a hike to Fairbanks, where we'd meet up with some of the others. This was a test run, of sorts, for me. It was also an excuse to get a few supplies and pick up our mail. And since Steve was with us, a trip to the pet supply store was most likely the highest on the agenda.

Bella was now a couple of months away from being a full year as an immortal. Her thirst, her talent, and her emotions were amazingly under control. She was all things beautiful and strong and happy. I'd like to think I had something to do with that last one. Learning together was just as incredible now as it was in the beginning. I was pushing eight months after my change, and things for me had gotten easier. From my mind reading, to my thirst, to my rollercoaster of emotions – none of it was as harsh as it was from the start. But I was damned certain I wouldn't have survived it without her. She was my rock, my other half, and my reason for breathing – more now than ever.

That wasn't to say it had all been a breeze. Not a chance in hell. There had been epic shows of tempers, huge fights when we'd stumbled upon a human hiking, and disagreements on the dumbest shit. Not one member of the Cullen or Denali families held grudges; they'd all been there, been through the same struggles, or had overcome the traditional vampire diet. And there wasn't a single one of them who would allow us to fail, if they could help it, so they let our fits of anger roll right off them.

Bella slowed down as Fairbanks drew closer, and we carefully entered the town through a park, taking one of the trails like some of the visitors. The day was overcast and perfect for us.

As we drew closer to the main streets, I could hear more minds and heartbeats, and the scent of humans and blood were heavy in the air. But the stench of human life was stronger. Restaurants, garbage, exhaust, cleaners, decay – it was almost choking in its intensity. It was scents that I barely acknowledged as a human, but with my enhanced senses, it was overwhelming. It overrode the scent of blood.

Bella stopped at the park exit, looking back to us, her smile sweet as she ran a hand over Steve's head. He was eyeing everything with fascination, but he was clinging to my sweatshirt with his claws.

"If the mental noise is too much, Edward, let me know," she said sweetly.

I nodded, but I usually didn't take her up on this particular offer whenever we were near humans, unless it was during the hunt. I never wanted to lose control, but the only way to acclimate myself and to learn how to control myself was to immerse myself in people.

"I'm okay," I assured her, gazing around. "Where to first, sweetheart?"

"Alice and Jasper said they'd meet us at the post office. From there, we'd go together for supplies. Everyone is meeting up at the outfitters," she explained, taking my hand and leading me down the sidewalk.

Bella had been into town a few times. I'd only been on the outskirts. I didn't trust myself a few months ago, but I needed to do this. Bringing Steve was a way to give me something else to focus on aside from blood and humans and thirst, but I wasn't as tempted as I thought I'd be.

What I did notice were all the thoughts as we made our way through town.

Bella always said I'd been oblivious to how women saw me, how I'd been perceived when we'd met in college. Apparently, my wife was correct, because I heard things over the next few blocks that shocked me. Had I been human, I would've blushed in embarrassment.

However, I also heard how humans could overlook the obvious. Beautiful, hot, gorgeous – those were words used to describe both of us, and Steve won the hearts of many as he traveled on my back the whole way, seemingly content up there to watch the world go by. And that seemed to add to my attractiveness, which amused me to no end. Not one time did someone think we were something other than the humans we were pretending to be. If someone felt uneasy, they'd simply cross the street, go into a store, or shift away, but they had no idea they were doing it out of self-preservation.

"Wow, that's interesting," I muttered, and Bella glanced up at me. "I assumed we'd stand out more, but really, we don't." I kept my voice low just for her. "Thoughts about us are centered around our looks, but nothing more than surface shit. Steve is drawing more attention than the fact that we give off a dangerous vibe, for a lack of a better word."

Bella huffed a laugh. "You aren't wearing a neon sign that says, 'dangerous predator.'"

Grinning, I shrugged a shoulder, which caused Steve to shift and adjust, but he was still happily observing the people around us. "I know that, but still… It's interesting to watch. When we're in the woods, animals scatter because they sense us. These people – some of them, anyway – are doing the same thing, just _differently_."

Bella chuckled. "God, Edward, I love you. I love that you can hear some that, but I don't know how you deal with it all. There must be fifty people surrounding us."

Honestly, I was trying to use my new ability in every way. I'd had countless conversations with Alice, Carlisle, and Eleazar about reading minds, interpreting what thoughts were fleeting, what were simple curiosities, and what were considered dangerous thoughts concerning us. Alice depended on her talent to keep them safe, keep them secret. She almost used it as a crutch, and Eleazar had warned her not to be too dependent on it. He'd warned us both, actually. We needed to read humans and other vampires visually just as well as reading minds and futures. He'd repeatedly told us that our talents were useful, but they could make us lazy.

While I never wanted to take my mind reading for granted, I also never wanted to misjudge something or someone and put my wife and new family in danger, so I tried to use both. And today was the best day to try that, being smack in the middle of the small town.

Bella and I rounded a corner, the large pet store our first stop. Just before we went in, I chuckled, looking from Steve to Bella.

"Umm, you realize all the little furry, feathery creatures inside this store will freak the hell out. Not every pet is Steve," I pointed out with a light laugh lacing my words. "Right, buddy?"

Bella grinned, saying, "That's very true, baby. Let me have him. I'll carry him while we're in here." Steve went to her willingly, and she tucked him safely under her arm like a football, her hand under his front paws. "If it gets too weird in there, you can take him out while I get the litter and cat food."

His purr was ridiculously loud, his eyes wide as I nodded her way. Once we stepped inside, the animals in cages and displays did, indeed, quiet down a little. Some birds seemed to send out a distress call, but at least it wasn't as if someone turned the volume on mute. A few employees smiled Steve's way, as did some of the shoppers. We weren't the first to bring a cat in, though most of the patrons brought dogs and a few would bring reptiles, but Steve's mellow demeanor was endearing, apparently.

We grabbed his food, litter, and a new catnip toy. The cashier fell in love with him, noting his laidback personality in her mind.

"Just to let you guys know…" She smiled our way, despite the fact that we made her a little nervous, which she chalked up to how good-looking she thought we were. She pointed to Steve. "We're having a cat adoption next week, if you ever want to get another one. We're coordinating with the SPCA. They'll all be fixed, with their shots, etcetera."

I opened my mouth to decline, but Bella simply told her thank you, and I could see warmth and sweetness and something else in her expression. Once we stepped back out onto the sidewalk, I took off the backpack and put the litter, food, and toy inside, leaving it open again. I shouldered the bag, and Bella set Steve back up there. He was a little higher but still content to ride.

"You want another one?" I asked her.

Bella chuckled, shrugging a shoulder, but she linked our fingers together. "Yes, no…maybe?" She shook her head. "I doubt we'll find one that's as comfortable with us as he is."

There was something else behind that answer, because I saw a touch of sadness on that beautiful face, and I broke down. "Bella… Sweetheart, let me hear you. What are you thinking?"

Bella's brow furrowed a little as her shield descended around me. Her hand reached up to lovingly pet Steve. The reality of having Steve was hitting her hard, which was why she'd decided to start bringing him everywhere with us. We would live forever. Steve would not, and that was hard to come to terms with when our love for him was so damned big.

Facing her, I cupped her face in my hands gently. "Sweetheart, he's just now going on three years old. I…I…" I trailed off, sighing deeply. "If we keep him safe, keep him healthy, we should have him for at least ten or twelve years more. Though, I've heard of longer, but…" I kissed her frowning lips. "Bella, even as humans, we wouldn't have kept him forever."

"I know," she mumbled. "I _know_! It's gonna suck, Edward, no matter what. I just… I mean, do we keep him until the inevitable? And then…that's it? No more pets? Because I can't imagine that kind of loss every couple decades. I just…no."

I leaned in, kissing her forehead. "I don't know that answer, my Bella. I had this discussion with Rose while I was still human. She mentioned the heartbreak. But all pet owners understand that their pet's lives are fleeting, whether the owner is human or immortal. I told her that Steve's litter, with the exception of Steve and a sibling, were all taken to the pound. He may be a blink in our long lives ahead, but for him, for any other cat we may or may not take in, we're all they've got. They can be spoiled and doted upon where not all the others get that. If you want another, we can get one. If you want to spoil Steve until he's a cranky old man, we'll do that, too."

Bella cracked a small smile at the thought of an "old man" Steve, and she nodded a little. "Okay, sorry… I just… Maybe he's the last tie to our old lives, and I just…" She trailed off, not knowing how to finish that thought.

My opinion was that we'd never find an animal that was comfortable with what we were. Steve had to be an exception to that, but I didn't say it. My sweet wife was clearly coming to that conclusion as we made our way down the street. I merely wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head.

I also wasn't quite sure that Steve was the only thing tying us to our old lives. And I was correct when we finally pulled our mail out of our post office box. Along with the usual ads and bills, all in my name only, there was a heavy envelope hand-written to me. The postmark was from Forks.

Bella tucked the mail in the front pouch of the backpack, but I ripped open the letter. Only, it wasn't a letter; it was an invitation.

Chuckling, I handed it over to my wife. "Your dad is getting married, baby."

Her shock was adorable. Even better was the whispered, "Stop it!" She practically beamed at the news.

Her shield was still around me, which meant I could hear her beautiful mind. She was over-the-moon happy that Charlie had found someone. She knew her "death" had been almost too much for the man. She also knew that he'd grown attached to me, so moving away from him and taking me had plagued her. She didn't want him alone, even though Jacob had vowed to watch over him.

"Wonder what he knows," I muttered aloud as we stepped back out onto the sidewalk.

"He's heard everything."

I glanced up from Bella and the wedding invitation to see Alice and Jasper waiting for us.

"Never mind that package you sent him," she added knowingly, laughing at my shameless grin. "You're counting on Jake, aren't you?"

"I was," I said with a nod, still wearing a smile as I gazed at my Bella. "He broke all the rules to help me. Or he tried, anyway."

Jasper broke into a laugh, gripping my shoulder. "So…you going?" he asked, pointing to the invitation.

"It's like three months away," Bella told me, handing over the heavy paper.

"I have no idea. I'll have to talk to Jake to see exactly where Charlie stands…and where it is, because we're not allowed in La Push."

"It's in Forks, not La Push, but we'll call Jake when we're done in town," Bella stated. "Okay?"

I nodded, kissing her temple. "Okay."

 **~o~EID~o~**

I sat down on the edge of the bed as Bella hung up the last of the clothes we'd bought. Jackets, boots, and sweaters were high on the list of supplies because some things didn't always survive hunting…or each other, should we lose a little control when we were alone.

It was a trip the Denalis made at least once a month. The minds of the employees inside the outfitter store were accepting of them, and they accepted us, as well. They were used to our looks, though that didn't stop the staring, and they assumed we all had money, because each purchase was big.

All in all, the trip to Fairbanks had been a real learning experience for me. Humans noticed differences, but they saw no further than our looks, the way we dressed, and how we spoke politely. I never heard a single mind that saw anything more than what we were pretending to be. We just…were. It was interesting to know that we could, in fact, step into the throngs of humans and not be outed for what we truly were. I'd been told these things, but I supposed I'd needed to experience it all for myself.

Bella had teased me that we weren't wearing a sign that said, "dangerous predator," but really, we had all the signs. Our looks, our scent, our ability to blend in, and our enhanced hearing – never mind those of us with extra abilities – drew people to us _and_ pushed them away at the same time. There was a split second in the stores where I could see just how easy it could've been to just…take. A female cashier who was too oblivious, too flirty, could easily be drawn away from the public eye. A male tourist without any sense of self-preservation and a whole lot of testosterone wouldn't have stood a chance against the Denali women or even Rose, Alice, or Bella.

It was frightening at just how simple it could be to slip up. It was humbling to know we carried that sort of strength and power yet opted not to use it. It was terrifying to know that should any of us put our mind to it, we could decimate the entire town.

Snorting at that, I shook my head and turned my phone over in my hands. We were lucky the Denalis' property was just close enough to town to get a signal but still far enough away to be secluded.

Bella continued to putter around the cabin while Steve was sleeping soundly on his cat tower. He'd had a big day, so he was exhausted.

Finally, I turned on my phone, scrolled through my contacts, and dialed Jacob.

He answered immediately. "Yes, he's really getting hitched."

I laughed. "Hello to you, too."

Jake chuckled. "How's the land of the Eskimos?"

"You know, I haven't seen that many. I don't exactly go looking for Eskimos. Bears, on the other hand…" I teased him, which made Bella giggle from the hallway.

"Yeah? Well, leave the wolves alone, will ya?"

"We try."

"Hey, Jake!" Bella called out as she stepped back into the room.

"Hey, Bells," he replied loudly. "So, I'm assuming you're calling because you got your invitation."

"Yeah, but we wanted to check in anyway. How _is_ Charlie?" I asked, not wanting to know about the wedding as much as the man himself.

I'd kept in touch with him like I'd promised, but I also knew that I needed to start pulling away. Charlie, however, held on fiercely. He called if he hadn't heard from me, and he'd e-mail from his office, too. And it had been Alice to see me send the same books to Charlie that Bella had left for me. She said the outcome could go several ways, which I saw in her mind. The pack still made her visions blurry, but it really wasn't them who messed her up. It was Charlie himself who tended to keep things quiet, not always reacting immediately.

I'd slipped them both in a manila envelope with a short note telling Charlie that Bella had left the two books for him. I marked them just like she had, with a bookmark at the poem and one for the legend of the Quileute tribe. He never mentioned it. Not one single word.

"Charlie is…well, Charlie," Jake said cryptically. "He's a stubborn man, for real. But he's never been stupid."

I chuckled. "No shit."

"I think he knows, Ed."

That statement caused Bella and me to freeze. "Seriously?" I asked, almost in a whisper.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure. Even Sue isn't sure if he's figured it out yet, but he did insist it be in Forks, not La Push, so I don't know." He huffed a laugh. "He looks at me differently, and he's asked a question or two, but whatever conclusions he's come to, I have no fucking idea."

"But if I come to this wedding, Jake, he'll see I've…I'm… He'll see the differences. But if I don't go…he'll be hurt."

"You're seriously considering it? What's the Cullens say about that?" he asked incredulously.

"I haven't really discussed it. I imagine Carlisle and Esme would want to go. Bella, would… I mean… Sweetheart, you'd have to stay hidden." I glanced over at my beautiful girl as she nodded.

"My boys will stay with her," Jake offered. "I'm an usher, so I _have_ to go."

I grinned, letting a laugh escape. "Okay, well, I'll talk to Carlisle about it."

"Guys, listen," he said through a weary sigh. "I know the whole creepy brothers run-in was a little tense, but if Charlie's figured it out _and_ he's marrying into the tribe, then he's seriously protected by my pack. The Volturi can go fuck themselves. He's my responsibility at that point. Does that make sense?" His voice carried an authority he rarely used. "Charlie's heard all the stories by now, including the ones the pale faces shouldn't know – like treaties and golden eyes – so if you're sure you're ready to face that, then I'll stand by you two. _Fuck knows_ , he'll be happy to know he hasn't lost _either of you_. Okay?"

"Thanks, Jacob," Bella and I both told him.

"Sure, sure," he mumbled his usual reply. "Just give me a heads-up when you know what you're doin'."

We promised we would, and the call was ended. I looked up at Bella when she stepped between my legs. Setting my phone down on the bed, I opted to pull her closer by her hips instead.

"I guess we need a family meeting," I muttered wryly, smirking up at her when she chuckled.

"We will, but not now," she said, straddling my lap. "But first, tell _me_ what _you_ are thinking."

Grinning, I brushed my lips over hers. "About today? Or about Charlie?"

"Anything. All of it. You've been very introspective today. You absorbed a lot in town without much comment. I'm very proud of you. You handled it all fantastically."

"Thanks," I whispered, looking down at her hands rubbing up my chest. "I'm sure the more I do that, the easier it'll get. No big surprises there."

"And my dad?"

I was quiet for a moment, cupping her face, brushing her hair back, and kissing her lips. "Bella, I… When we lost you, the two of us fought so fucking hard to find answers, to find some sort of footing in the tidal wave of grief that hit us. Without Charlie constantly checking on me, pushing me to get out, to come over, I'm… I honestly don't know if I would've made it."

Bella nodded, slipping her shield over me so I could hear her thoughts. She knew these things already. She missed her father, she missed her mother too, but she knew there were some things she had to leave behind. Where she knew she could walk away from her parents, leaving me was never going to happen.

"Right," I agreed with her thought processes. "And _that_ …that part right there, sweetheart, is where I feel so very wrong and guilty and selfish. I got you back, and he still believes that he lost his little girl on his watch. You were visiting him, but he didn't get to you quickly enough, and he'll go the rest of his life carrying that heavy burden. And with all that he's done for me, and as much as I love you, I simply want to give you both…each other. Does that make sense? I dunno. I doubt it, but I'm probably not saying it right."

Bella's smile was warm and loving and patient as she leaned in to kiss my lips.

"A part of me wants to go just to let him see the changes. My eyes will be the biggest factor, Bella. They're gold now, not green. My skin is colder, harder. Hell, even my build is different."

Bella grinned, trying not to tease me about how beautiful she saw me.

Chuckling, I tried to give her a stern look but failed completely, because her mind was traveling a train of thought that was distracting and alluring, and I wasn't sure how long I could hold back from giving her what she wanted, but she pushed it away for a moment.

"I want to see my dad happy," she stated in a whisper, almost as if wanting it was wrong.

"Me, too."

"I want to see him get married, even if he never figures out the truth."

"Me, too, sweetheart," I soothed her, because she seemed to be emotional at the moment.

"I trust Jake to protect him, keep him safe."

"Of course. I never doubted it."

She nodded, cupping my face and kissing my lips. "So…you want to go? To the wedding, I mean?"

I knew what she meant, but I kissed her back before answering. "Yes, but I'll have to be precautious. You know, hunt, hold my breath, avoid physical contact. My eyes, though… I could maybe play off contacts, but…"

Bella nodded. "So, we need to talk to Carlisle. We've got three months to practice. Today was a good start, Edward. You'll be fine."

"And if he hates us for this?" I asked her as I gestured between us, which was a fear I had deep down inside. I was terrified Charlie would hate what we'd become, even though some of it had been unavoidable, especially Bella.

"My dad's not a hateful person, baby. He might get a tad… _grumpy_ , but he's never hated anyone."

"Grumpy," I said through a chuckle. "Truer words, Bella."

"Do you want to talk to Carlisle now? Maybe Alice, too?" she asked, starting to get up off my lap.

"No." I locked an arm around her waist, grinning when she giggled. Her head fell back, and I leaned in to press my lips to her throat. "No, not right now."

Her arms wrapped around my head as she continued to laugh. Keeping my arm securely around her, I rolled us over, situating her in the middle of our bed. She laughed a bit harder, but when her eyes opened to meet mine, I kissed her.

"Show me what you want, Bella," I requested, and she did.

Shirts were lifted off over heads, shoes and pants were kicked off the end of the bed, and underwear never stood a chance. Bella wanted slow, with kisses that curled her toes and skin touching everywhere. She wanted to hear my love for her whispered against her throat as I moved inside her. And I gave her all of it.

This was us as we'd always been. It was Edward and Bella Masen, who met at UW, who probably married too young but didn't care, and who loved each other no matter what life or immortality threw at them. Mating was amazing, but this… _This_ was us. It was safety and comfort. It was heat and love. It was what I lived for as a human and now would never be without as an immortal.

Night had fallen by the time the haze of our lovemaking had lifted. We were wrapped around each other in the sheets, and I smirked over at Steve, who had covered his eyes and face with both paws. He was still sleeping soundly on his back.

Bella glanced from me to him, laughing softly. "Apparently, things seen can't be _un_ seen."

"Yeah, Steve? Imagine reading minds, buddy," I muttered, smiling when Bella curled into me laughing.

I held her close, imagining how the wedding would go. My hope was that Carlisle would help us, because seeing Charlie was truly something I wanted, but what I wanted more than anything else was having him know that his daughter wasn't really gone from this earth. I'd been blissful knowing that, and I hoped he would be, too.

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… There will most likely (unless I get a bit wordy, which wouldn't shock me) be one more regular chapter and an epi to follow.**

 **I'd like to wish all of my US friends a safe 4** **th** **of July weekend. Please don't end up a YouTube/hold-my-beer video – no drinking and driving, no setting your hair on fire with sparklers…that sort of madness. ;)**

 **Just to remind you, there is a playlist for this story on YouTube (speaking of). Just search for me or** _ **Even in Death.**_ **Once this story is done, I'll tack on the honorable mentions at the end of the list, which will be the ones I listened to, but they didn't make the cut.**

 **Okay, I think that's it. I'll see you as soon as I can get the next chapter written. Mooches, Deb ;)**


	20. We'll Carry On

**A/N… So, remember when I said it wouldn't be a shock if I got wordy? -_- Well… I did. I started working on this chapter and it kept going and going, and when it got to 7000 words I decided to split it up. Which means this isn't the last regular chapter, the next one is, and then the epi. I'll let you get to it.**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 20 – We'll Carry On**

 _Though the sea will be strong  
I know we'll carry on  
Cos if there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one_

 _When you get to where you wanna go_  
 _And you know the things you wanna know_  
 _You're smiling_

" _She's the One" by Robbie Williams_

 **EDWARD**

I sat down on some rocks by the small lake, waiting for the others to finish their hunt. The water was still, the mountain in the distance loomed over its surroundings, and there wasn't a sound of civilization to be heard. No planes, no cars, no noise. Nothing. Just a slight breeze that stirred the tall grasses around me and a few small creatures off in the distance.

However, it was the sight above that was breathtaking. Without street lights and car headlights and buildings to get in the way, to dull it all, every star in the sky glowed brightly overhead. It was truly magnificent. I wasn't sure if it was my enhanced sight or if the stars just were better over Alaska, but I took them all in.

 _He picked a nice spot._

I smiled over my shoulder at Esme, who was taking in the view like I had. "I thought you'd be used to it," I said softly.

Her smile was warm and sweet as she shook her head slowly. "No. No, that's something I never want to get used to," she stated, sitting down next to me and gesturing to the sky. "Once that no longer holds an awe-inspiring beauty, then I'm way too distracted. It's time to reassess myself, reorganize my priorities."

Smiling, I nodded.

"This is stunning every time I see it. It makes me see just how small I am in the great big picture."

We stayed quiet as we waited for Carlisle and Bella to join us. Try as I might, I couldn't give Esme the mental privacy she deserved, which meant I could hear every train of thought she took. Her mind reminisced about the past, how she and Carlisle met, how he changed her, how her small dysfunctional family started with Rosalie and Emmett and continued to grow when Jasper and Alice showed up. When her memories of Forks and Bella and nomads with no respect came to the forefront of her mind, I turned to watch her face. There was sadness at the fight that ensued, worry about a young human woman they'd known in the small town, and the utter heartbreak of that same girl begging for me by name.

Esme's eyes met my own. "Sorry, Edward."

"Don't be," I reassured her. "I've seen it through everyone's minds by now." I tried to smile her way, but she reached over and squeezed my shoulder. "I've seen _way_ more than that, but that's usually a big memory for everyone."

Esme chuckled, but it didn't last long, and she sighed deeply. "I've seen death in my long life, Edward. I've seen wars and disease. I've seen families shattered with loss. I've never in my life seen a heart break, or really, I've never been the one to break a heart. Telling Bella what she was when she woke up, telling her that everything she'd come to know and love had to be erased like chalk on a blackboard…" She scoffed, wearing a pained expression, but she changed direction a little. "I adore my family. I know they're a collection of vast personality differences," she said, grinning when I laughed. "Every one of them, whether Carlisle changed them or not, came with emotional baggage when their heart stopped beating, but Bella… I'm fairly certain that Bella's heart was left with you when she was away from you. And changing her only made her more…"

"Mine," I finished for her, nodding at the same time she did. "I know you guys only did what you thought was best, and I know I blamed all of you for a long time, but I don't think I've ever thanked you, Esme. For helping her, for giving her back to me, for being there for both of us."

Esme's smile wavered, her chin trembling as she reached up to cup my face. Her mind wandered a bit because something about me in particular reminded her of her past. A brief "what-if" moment flickered through her mind, and she wondered if the son she'd lost so long ago would have grown up to be someone like me – she considered me kind and gentle, honorable and loyal. She thought I carried an old soul and an old set of morals and manners.

All of that made me smile sadly her way. "My Grandmother Masen would be proud someone noticed."

Esme grinned. "Maybe," she conceded a little. "Or maybe it's just you."

"Maybe."

She thought about what tomorrow would bring, and I glanced up when I could smell Bella's beautiful scent at the same time Carlisle's mind became stronger and louder. The two were walking together this way.

"Does it bother you?" I asked her. "If Charlie knows?"

Her brow furrowed, but a smile graced her features. "Times are changing, Edward. It's not always a good thing to blindly follow that thing of 'we've always done it _this way_.' Over the decades, over centuries, really, our kind has had to adapt to change and new technologies and more _aware_ humans. Now we'll adapt to sharing our secret with another group of beings that also need to stay hidden. Jacob Black is young, but he's not careless. He recently took the position as Alpha of his pack, a position he was born to take, and he's got the perfect personality to protect his people, his friends and family. He's not stupid, by any means, and he's just young enough to understand that you can live and let live without prejudice. Sam, the one before him, wasn't always as kind.

"So, to answer your question, Edward," she continued. "No, it doesn't bother me. In fact, it doesn't bother any of us."

Nodding, I thanked her, turning toward the west. "They're close."

She merely smiled, opting to stay quiet. As they drew closer, it seemed that Steve was the topic of conversation between Bella and Carlisle.

"I trust Jasper to watch him while we're gone," Bella said with a grin. "He and Steve have come to some sort of growly understanding."

Carlisle chuckled, shaking his head at her. "I've never seen an animal – domestic or otherwise – take to us so quickly and easily." He wondered silently if it was because he was ours while we were human or if it was because he'd had no choice but to adjust, and there was a slight thought of whether it was because Steve had refused to be removed from my chest while I changed.

When Bella walked into my arms, I gazed over at him. "My theory is it's all of the above."

Carlisle laughed, taking a seat across from us, and Esme got up and joined him. My eyes drifted to my Bella, who was looming over me from between my legs. She seemed well fed and more at ease than before we'd left the cabin, and I couldn't help but kiss her lips softly. Seeing Esme's memories of her made me want to cling to my wife, wrap her up, and not let go for a while. And it didn't help that we were leaving in a few hours to head to Forks – the place where my heart had been shattered all to hell over a year ago. The reunion with Charlie aside, going back to that place made me want to keep my hands on Bella at all times, to touch and feel the tangible reality that she was okay, that she was mine, that she wasn't gone.

 _Tunnel vision, Edward._ It was a sing-song, teasing thought she'd sent my way after quickly dropping that shield around me.

Grinning, I nodded. "Can't help it, Bella," I sang right back, which made her giggle adorably.

Bella silently told me she loved me and then sat down next to me, our fingers immediately linking together. Carlisle had wanted all of us to hunt before we left for Forks. We would be there a few days prior to Charlie's wedding day, and we'd be staying at the Cullen home there on the outskirts of town.

"I wanted us to talk before we left for Washington," Carlisle started in a soothing, calm voice. "Edward, you've acclimated very well to being around people, with and without Bella's shield. My concern is the stress of the situation. You'll have to go into it all still as the young widower."

The reminder wasn't needed, but I appreciated it. The people who attended Bella's memorial service or helped us search for her would most likely be the same who attended her father's wedding.

"I'm aware," I replied with a nod.

Carlisle sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I know you've spoken to Jacob several times over the last couple of months, and he's still unsure as to what Charlie has figured out." He smirked over at my Bella. "Considering he's _your father_ , I'm pretty positive he's not stupid, just merely reserved enough not to say anything out loud."

Bella laughed and nodded. "No, he's not dumb. Just quiet. Introspective."

Her voice was soft, a touch sad. But there was so much hope in her mind that she didn't say aloud, and it made me pull her fingers up to my lips and kiss them. The fact that she didn't voice her hope while we were talking about how her father was quiet would've been humorous if it weren't such an important subject. As if to prove that point, Bella's thoughts evaporated; she'd removed her shield.

 _And that's where Bella gets it_. Esme's thought was kind and loving, and I smiled a little her way.

"That's the reason we're going a few days early. I'd like to see Charlie before the wedding; there won't be time to see him alone after his wedding day. He knows you're coming?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I called to congratulate him and RSVP. I told him I was traveling with you and Esme. I didn't say anything about coming early, but I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Okay, good." He nodded, gazing down at the ground between us.

His thoughts were worried. He was prepared for Charlie seeing me to end badly, as in he rejected me in some way. He was also prepared to have my father-in-law ignore all the signs and treat us as he normally did. What he wasn't sure of was what we'd say should Charlie put all the pieces together and come out with the truth.

"Your house or his?" I asked Carlisle. "He might be more comfortable in his own home. And Jake said he'd be there when we visit, so… Just a suggestion."

"Okay, get with Jake. Have him set up a good time," he said, and I nodded. "Last thing… Are the two of you absolutely certain you're okay to fly? It's not too late. The drive is somewhere around forty-three hours, but I usually cut that a little." He smiled when I laughed, because the Cullen family drove like they ran – like it was a damned race.

"I'm okay, I think," I told him. "Bella's shield will be in place, so…" I shrugged a shoulder, looking to my wife. "Sweetheart, would you rather drive?"

"No, I'm fine."

Her voice was firm, her mind now closed to me, but I knew my Bella; if she were nervous about being trapped for three and a half hours in a metal tube with several humans, then she'd say so. We were flying overnight, so we hoped the flight would have fewer people.

"Just making sure," Carlisle said, standing up. "Then it's time to head to the airport."

 **~o~EID~o~**

I gazed out the window of Carlisle's rental car as Forks drew closer. The flight had been fine. I'd over-hunted before we left Alaska, so my thirst was fine. The minds on the plane had been loud at first – worried thoughts of air travel in general, sadness at leaving someone behind, weariness of a vacation now over. All of it fairly normal. Due to the late hour, most of the people on the plane fell asleep. Bella's shield was hardly needed.

However, now that we were nearing her old hometown, my nerves were a bit on edge. I tried not to see it as a bad memory, but it was difficult. I wasn't sure I'd ever forget the feeling of complete and utter loss when I'd received the call from Charlie that Bella had been in an accident. I know for a damned fact that the anger and hopelessness I'd felt when the search for her turned up nothing – not her phone, a piece of her clothes, a drop of blood other than around the car – made it the darkest day of my life.

A hand touched my face, turning me away from the window. Bella's beautiful face zoomed into focus, and she kept her comments silent for me only.

 _I'm okay. I'm right here._ When my brow furrowed in question, she held up our linked fingers, where I was practically breaking her hand.

"Shit," I breathed against her knuckles. "Sorry, sweetheart." I loosened my hold, rubbing her hand between mine gently.

 _I'm indestructible, remember?_ she teased, grinning my way as she bit down on her bottom lip. _Relax, Edward. Whatever happens is okay. My dad may be smarter than all of us and know everything, or he'll get grumpy for a moment._

Or he'd shun us all, I thought. That was my concern. Bella had been through so much; we both had. Hell, we all had suffered the day Bella had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Even the Cullens and Jake had gone out of their way to make it all better. Not a bit of it had been easy.

As we drove through Forks slowly, my eyes latched on to familiar landmarks, buildings, and streets. I also caught sight of movement in the trees keeping up with us as Carlisle turned down an overgrown driveway.

After a few curves, we came through the trees into a sprawling lawn. The house up ahead put the Cullens' cabin-like home in North Bend to shame. And that was saying something. They were completely different in design. The North Bend home was rustic, classic, but this home was sharp edges, modern lines, and large floor-to-ceiling windows, which at the moment were covered up with metal shutters.

 _This is where I changed_ , Bella thought to me, and my head spun to her. She nodded a little. _It was the quickest place they could take me, and it's far enough away from the next home to hide it._

Carlisle parked the car just outside the garage, and we all followed his lead and got out.

"Give me just a moment," he stated, walking in the side door.

I heard the beep of a security system, more beeps of it being disengaged, and finally, the hum and churn of the metal shutters rolling up. Lights came on all over the home, and my eyes widened as Esme led us inside. Despite the furniture being covered, the house was stunning. My enhanced sense of smell caught traces of all the Cullens, but it also caught something faint, something human, and my brow furrowed when I realized I was smelling the scent of _human_ Bella.

"Wow," I breathed, looking to her.

It had been over a year since any of them had set foot in this home, but her scent was intense, floral, _delicious_. My venom burned harshly at the back of my throat. I had to shake my head to clear it. Esme gazed at me curiously, Bella slipped her hand into mine, but Carlisle was the one to actually voice what I was sensing.

"You can still smell her," he stated, and it wasn't a question. When I nodded, he went on. "Her blood was strong, which was why James couldn't stop himself. Once we got Bella here, I had to send everyone from the house."

I swallowed thickly again, letting out a deep breath. "That's umm… Wow." I grinned at Bella's soft snort into a laugh. "Okay, kinda glad things worked out the way they did. You… And this is an old scent!"

Bella hugged me, still laughing. "Damn. Are you saying you'd have drained me, Edward?"

"I honestly don't ever want to know how intense that scent was at full strength. Let's just put it that way."

Everyone chuckled, but Esme suggested we open the windows to air out the place. We all pitched in to at least uncover the living room furniture. Esme told Bella to open the windows of the room she'd changed in before I went up. Apparently, there was a third-floor spare room at the top of the stairs we were going to use while we were here for a few days.

The scent of wolf met my nose at the same time Jake's mind came into range, and I walked to the front door to smile at him.

"You're up early. Or is it late?"

"Yeah, both probably," he mumbled as he walked by me. "I opted to run patrols tonight, figuring you guys would make it before dawn."

"Jake!" Bella greeted happily, running to hug him.

When Esme and Carlisle gave him a handshake, he smiled up at me. "So, we're set for tomorrow night at Charlie's. He refused a bachelor party, saying he's too old for such nonsense. He did, however, like the idea of football and beer for 'old time's sake' with you and me. And he extended that offer to Carlisle, as well."

Carlisle smiled kindly, looking to me. He was thinking that was perfect. He also thought should things go okay, that Bella and Esme could be close by just in case.

Nodding to Jake, I said, "Fine, we'll be there."

Jake smiled, shaking his head. "This shit will be interesting, for sure. My guess? He's figured it all out, but he's waiting for you, Ed. I honestly think he's waiting to set eyes on you before he says a damn thing."

In Jake's mind, I could see that Charlie had received the books I'd sent him. They sat on the table next to his recliner. The bookmarks were still in them. Jake raised an eyebrow up at me to let me know just how important those books were to Charlie.

"Got it," I said through a deep sigh. "Well, this will either end badly, or Charlie will get one hell of a wedding present." I pointed to Bella, who shifted nervously from one foot to the other, so I wrapped an arm around her.

"I still think he'll surprise us all," Jake guessed. "I need to finish up my rounds, but I'll see you tomorrow."

"Be careful," Esme told him.

He blushed a little at her concern but nodded. "Sure, sure."

Once he was gone, Bella tugged me gently toward the stairs. I picked up our bags and followed her up to the top floor. Thankfully, the scent of human Bella had started to air out, but the sight of the bed in the room made my brow furrow.

It was in _this_ place, it was in _this_ bed, that my beautiful girl begged for me. She burned for three days, and after my own change, I realized how scary that must have been for her. I'd had her voice in my ear while I burned. She'd had the voices of people she didn't know. I'd woken up to love and familiarity, where she'd woken up to strangers and a harsh new reality.

There was a leather sofa along the wall of windows, and I dropped our bags down on it, slowly taking in the room. Bookcases covered the opposite wall, and they were filled with every book imaginable, along with music of every form – CDs, records, even cassette tapes. I smirked at the stereo system that seemed to be at least two decades old. But again, my gaze fell to the bed.

She'd called for me from _right there_. She'd begged for me, cried and suffered, all with my name on her lips. While I was grieving the loss of her, she was fighting for me. Bella had been my whole world from the moment her sweet voice had greeted me at the UW library. Everything I did from that moment on had revolved around the girl I'd pretty much fallen for at first sight. Protecting her, loving her, spoiling her – it all came so easily. And I wondered if I'd always feel guilty for the one time I wasn't there.

"Hey, hey!" Bella called to me, pushing at me until I sat down on the edge of the bed that had changed my girl and my mood. "Look at me," she whispered, cupping my face as she stood between my legs. "Is the scent too much?"

Smiling, I shook my head. "The scent is almost gone, sweetheart," I said through a deep sigh. "Though, holy shit, Bella!" I grinned, reveling in the giggly kiss she pressed to the middle of my forehead. "No, I was just thinking I wish I could've been here for you then. To know you called for me, I just… I hate that you were alone. I was lucky."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"You're here now, baby."

"I know. I'm really happy, sweetheart. You should know that."

"Me, too."

"I miss medicine, but I'm sure I'll get back to it. Getting you out of all of it is better than being a doctor any day."

Her smile was warm and sweet. "I'm glad you think so, Edward."

"I do. I wouldn't change anything about my life right now." I shook my head, pulling her closer by her waist. "If I never practiced medicine again but I got to keep you, then my life is complete, Bella. Being back here, being back where my whole world ended for a short time—"

Bella's lips met mine to shut me up. _I love you. I love that you're happy. I love that you're fighting for my dad. I love everything about you, Edward Masen. Don't you ever forget that._

Her thoughts were beautiful and sweet and maybe a touch frantic.

 _I want to kiss you silly_.

I chuckled. "Me, too."

 _I want to change what this bed has seen, what it means._

That sobered me up quickly. "Me, too."

 _I want to do really naughty things to you right here, right where I thought I'd lost you forever._

"Bella," I gasped, gaping up at her, but she practically tackled me to my back on that bed.

My mood caught up with hers quickly, and I rolled us over, looming over her as her mind was everywhere.

Smirking down at her, I let out a chuckle as I leaned in to kiss her. Dragging my lips down her cheek to her ear, I whispered, "Is that what you want, sweetheart? You want me to make you call my name a different way?"

"Mmhmm," she hummed against my neck, opening her mouth to my skin.

Pulling back from her ear, I pressed my forehead to hers, smiling down at her. "Well, what the lady wants…"

 **~o~EID~o~**

"You must be in town for Charlie's wedding," the woman at the cash register said with a smile, but her thoughts were sad. The sight of me – no matter how long it had been – reminded her of Charlie's daughter. "It's good the chief is finding some happiness."

I smiled, though I kept it subdued, nodding slightly. "I am, and it is. I'm on my way to see him now," I told her, holding out my credit card to pay for the beer I used to drink, the beer I'd never taste again.

If she noticed anything different about me, she didn't think it. I made her nervous, but she shrugged it off due to how handsome she'd always thought I was. The last thought that flickered through her mind as I picked up the beer was the curiosity as to whether _I_ had moved on after Charlie's daughter had died.

For a split second, I almost answered her, but I focused on getting back out to the car where Carlisle was waiting. My answer would've been slightly rude – that there would be no moving on from Bella in any way.

He snorted, looking my way. "You look…confused."

Grinning, I shook my head. "I've gotten so used to just answering all of your mental questions, I almost slipped up in there."

"Oh!" Carlisle chuckled. "Damn, I bet that'll take lots of practice."

"Yeah," I said through a deep sigh, explaining the cashier's errant thought. "Sadly, it'll be a thought a lot of people will have when we attend the wedding. I just have to focus, I think."

"Some may voice it. What will you tell them?" he asked as he pulled back out on the road.

I held up my left hand. "Do I look moved on to you?" When he laughed, I shook my head. "She's technically been gone over a year. I'm still wearing my wedding band. People will just feel pity. This is one of those times where the whole world can think whatever they want, because the truth is… _amazing_."

Carlisle's smile was warm. "I'm glad you think so, Edward. I'm proud of your progress. I'm not arrogant to think it worked out for the best – the whole thing was a mess – but I _am_ really glad you and Bella are happy, together."

He pulled into Charlie's driveway, and before he opened his door, I stopped him.

"Before we do this," I started, glancing up at the flicker of the curtain in the kitchen, "I thanked Esme, and I wanted to thank you for everything – for saving Bella, for giving her back to me, for helping us. We're about to do for Charlie what you did for me, despite all the treaties and rules, and no matter how it goes, I just wanted you to know I appreciate it."

Carlisle glanced at the house for a second and then back to me. "I rarely ask Alice to specifically check the future – she has enough to deal with – but I've asked her to look at our family. You know what she sees, Edward?" he asked, and when I shook my head, he smiled. "She sees a thriving family. She sees us all adjusting to a new way of living – new roles to play, new places to live, and sometimes the others go back to the high school façade, but what's a constant is that we are all happy, protecting each other, and learning to find a way to fit in." He sighed deeply. "I told you once that this can be a long life, trying at times, but it can be an amazing life as well, Edward. I know that you and Bella look forward to making your own way in the future, but I am honored to have you as new members of my family, should you choose to stay with us."

Smiling down at the beer in my hands, I nodded. "Thank you." Glancing back up at the house, I said, "We should go. He's watching for us."

With a quick glance toward the woods alongside Charlie's house, I checked for Bella and Esme. Bella's shield sealed me off from her thoughts, but Esme's mind was all love, encouragement, and hope. She also promised to watch over my Bella while we finally saw Charlie. I wasn't sure what to expect when I opened the car door.

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… I know! I cut it at a cliffie spot, but the conversation about Bella's change and the next part with Charlie ran LONG, so I had to cut it somewhere. If you want to yell, go ahead, but know Chapter 21 is well over halfway done. So it won't be long for that to post.**

 **There's a playlist for this, don't forget. And once this story is done, I'll post all the music I listened to while working on this fic.**

 **I think that's it. The next update won't be far away. Until then… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	21. We Can Live Forever

**A/N… This is the last regular chapter. I know everyone is waiting on Charlie, so I'll let you get to it. See me at the bottom, please.**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 21 – We Can Live Forever**

 _When doubt returns  
May it be  
That faith shall permeate our scars_

 _When we're seduced_  
 _Then may it be_  
 _That we not deviate our cause_

 _All sinners, a future_  
 _All saints, a past_  
 _Beginning, the ending_  
 _Return to ash_

 _Now that we're dead, my dear_  
 _We can be together_  
 _Now that we're dead, my dear_  
 _We can live forever_

" _Now That We're Dead" by Metallica_

 **EDWARD**

Carlisle and I got out of the car just as Charlie's patience ran out, and he met us at the door. This was the first time I'd get to hear his thoughts, and I found that his mind was not exactly muddled but not truly clear either. He eyed me from head to toe. He noted some changes, but he rationalized some of them with the knowledge that it had been several months since he'd last set eyes on me. As Carlisle and I stepped closer, the one thing that stood out was my eyes, but he pushed it away as being an "unobservant old man."

"Hey, Charlie," I said with a smile.

"It's so good to see you, kiddo," he greeted, his mustache twitching into a smile. "Dr. Cullen, always a pleasure."

"Call me Carlisle, please."

"C'mon in," Charlie said, standing aside to let us walk through the door. "Edward, son… You know where to go with that beer. Jake's already stashed his in there."

I set the beer in the fridge, grabbing one for me and one for Carlisle, simply for appearance's sake. Stepping into the living room was a step back in time, really. Charlie hadn't changed a thing, except maybe things were a touch neater. However, all his framed pictures of Bella were still on proud display all over the mantle and the bookcase. She grew up right before my eyes in some of them – knobby-kneed, freckles, pigtails, prom, high school graduation, college graduation, and wedding photos. All of them were visible from Charlie's recliner. God, he missed her. My heart broke for him, and I hoped to hell I could give him back the one thing he needed. I hoped he accepted it like I had.

Swallowing thickly, I looked over to Jake, who piped up with, "Long time, no see."

Chuckling at his sarcastic manner, I nodded and handed Carlisle a beer. It was hard to concentrate on the small, catching up everyone was doing while the thoughts didn't match the verbal discussion. Charlie asked about Alaska and if we liked it, but at the same time his mind tried to see what had changed about me. Jake piped up with stories about people we knew, but his thoughts were centered on Charlie. Carlisle asked about the wedding and Sue, while his thoughts were on a great many things, but Charlie's red cheeks reminded me of Bella's old blush.

Chuckling, I said, "You nervous, Charlie?"

"Pfft," he huffed, rolling his eyes. "I've been down the aisle one time before. Bella's mother was…different. This is…" He trailed off, trying to mentally find the right word. "This is calmer."

I laughed, looking his way. "How is Renee?" I asked, and that was for the benefit of my beautiful brunette, who was hidden in the woods just outside Charlie's front door. I knew Esme was with her, but I wanted Bella to hear him.

Charlie smirked my way but shrugged a shoulder. "Bella was all we had in common. Without her, we don't speak much now. She's still trying to find our daughter 'on the other side.'"

My nose wrinkled at his disbelieving scoff, and I nodded, but we all froze when the next words left Charlie's mouth.

"But she won't find her, will she?" he asked, and when I looked his way, he was asking all three of us.

Jake sat forward resting his elbows on his knees, ready to help us or intervene in any way. But his thoughts were to me. _Oh hell, here we go. What's he thinking, Edward?_

I shook my head at Jake but glanced to Carlisle. He was trying to figure out how to answer Charlie's question. Finally, I took the lead, because really, he wanted the answer from me.

Turning to face him a little, I took the route Carlisle and Jacob had taken over a year ago. "Why don't you tell me why you think that, Charlie?"

A split second of anger crossed his face, but he glanced down at the table next to his chair. "Listen, I'm… I'm a simple guy, a cop to my very bones, and I know when there are things that happen that simply don't make sense. I've lived in this area all my life, and I know these woods. I grew up knowing the legends of the Quileute," he said, gesturing to Jake. "I knew them before you started pushing them my way. Your father shared those old stories with me before you were born."

He held up the books I'd sent him. "You sent these to me. You said they were left for me from Bella, but… How would Bella know to leave me something? How would she know she wouldn't be here anymore when her death was an accident? And how in the hell is this her writing?!"

His voice got a bit louder as he held up the bookmarks with his name in her pretty script, and then he pointed to me. "And you… You haven't taken your wedding ring off yet."

I held up my left hand, nodding in agreement. "No, I haven't." I looked from the shiny metal wrapped around my finger back to Charlie's face.

His thoughts noticed changes in me, changes that had absolutely nothing to do with my immortality. Where he used to see shoulders slightly hunched with the weight of grief and sadness and stress, he now saw confidence and calm. Where my eyes used to be practically blank, he saw light and strength. He'd never really noticed the color before, so the gold wasn't as a shock to him as I'd expected, though he noted they were the same as Carlisle's. But the biggest clue for him was the fact that I'd soaked in every picture of Bella he'd had on display when I'd first walked in. Before, I'd avoid even glancing their way.

Smirking a little, I shook my head as I ignored the mental questions from Jacob and Carlisle.

Meeting Charlie's gaze, I said, "I'll never take this ring off." I held up my hand again, studying it instead of Charlie's expectant glare. "I know some people like to think everything happens for a reason. I know some think 'God has a plan.' I'm not sure of those things, Charlie. What I do know is that I owe you a debt of gratitude, sir."

Meeting his confused gaze, I nodded and went on. "I owe you for being there when I thought I had nothing left." I smiled sadly his way as I fought the lump in my throat, because all that I was saying was true and emotional. "The three people in this room fought for something that I was barely fighting for myself. Me. So, there's a reason I sent you those books, Charlie."

I reached over to pick them up, immediately finding the two passages Bella had left for me. "I sent you these because Bella left them for me to find. She left them in October of last year."

"But…" He started, glancing around the room at Jake and Carlisle, his mind doing the math. Bella had "died" in August.

Above all that, Charlie knew his daughter, probably better than any of us. He'd known the Quileute legends, so he picked up the poem and reread it.

 _Do not stand at my grave and cry;_ _  
_ _I am not there; I did not die._

Because he knew his daughter so well, the poem hit harder than the legend. Bella's love for the written word stemmed back to her as a child. Poems, stories, happily-ever-afters – Bella lived and breathed reading as soon as she learned how. For her to have specifically picked that poem told him volumes.

Pulling out my wallet, I took out the original bookmarks with my name in Bella's handwriting.

The hope that started to bloom in Charlie was almost painful to see in his thoughts. He only asked one question.

"What happened?"

I sat forward, leaning my elbows on my legs. "You know what we're about to discuss can't leave this house."

"Who am I gonna tell, son? I don't even know what I'm thinking right now," he countered almost angrily, but his mind was now blurry thoughts and unclear.

"You've heard the legends, and you know the stories. We'll start with Jacob," I stated, pointing to the calmest one in the room. He was pretty sure Charlie was smarter than all of us. "Jake is the direct descendant of Ephraim Black, which makes him not only chief, but _Alpha_."

Charlie nodded, knowing this, of course, but Jake spoke up.

"Charlie, you're about to marry into the Quileute tribe. In two days, you'll be in my protection." He grinned when Charlie scoffed. "If I told you that the legends about us were true, that my people descended from wolves, what else does that tell you?"

"You can't expect me to believe you turn into a giant wolf, Jake."

"I could show you, but let's wait for a moment." Jake chuckled. "Remember the story?" he asked him, and Charlie nodded. "So, you remember _why_ we started to change into wolves?"

The first words to pop into Charlie's mind were "cold ones." However, Charlie had asked Billy Black to define those words for him when they were younger, so the next word in his mind was spot-on.

 _Vampires._

I gave a quick nod to Jacob, who gestured across the coffee table to Carlisle. "Charlie, meet Carlisle Cullen, the one my great-grandfathermade a treaty with almost a hundred years ago."

Charlie's eyes narrowed as the math and the ages didn't align right away. However, just like me, his mind started to place all the puzzle pieces together to form something somewhat linear.

 _Hundred years._

 _Cold ones._

 _Notes left two months later._

 _Wolves._

He was so close to voicing it out loud, but Carlisle spoke softly.

"Charlie, the accident last year didn't end the way you thought it did. What I'm about to tell you is bound by secrecy." When Charlie nodded in agreement, Carlisle went on, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to apologize to you the same way I apologized to Edward here. The accident with Bella last year was my fault."

Charlie frowned, shaking his head. "I don't want apologies, Carlisle. I want answers."

I stopped Carlisle from continuing and took over. "Charlie, the legends are true, which means there are beings roaming the earth that are not human. There are brave people with the ability to defend this area, and both are sitting in this room. Carlisle and Jake were fighting together to defend this area from vampires who prey on humans."

The word vampire was like a wet blanket being slapped down. It landed heavily.

"However, the night they were chasing some particularly nasty ones, Bella's car got a flat tire. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and things went horribly wrong. The accident was truly that…an _accident_. But they had to hide the whole thing from the two of us because of what they are."

Charlie, being a cop and owning the ability to quickly put things together, stood up from his chair and started to pace. He rounded on all of us.

"There was no animal attack."

"No."

"There was more than one death, though."

"Which was why we were trying to get rid of those assholes, Charlie," Jake told him.

"But you tracked them!"

"I had to make it look good," Jake stated, standing up from his seat. "I had to protect everyone involved. And I mean… _everyone_."

Charlie looked to me and then to Carlisle, _finally_ seeing the physical changes. Our skin color, our eye color, and our unusual stillness. I used to fidget more, but I didn't now, at least no more than a hand through my hair occasionally.

"You're one of them?" he asked. "Jesus, Edward, how sick were you?!"

I smirked, shaking my head and standing up. "It wasn't the cold. I was injured pretty badly, but yes, I'm one of them."

"Why?! Edward, why!?" Charlie almost yelled the answer, but he flinched when I walked to him, so I stopped.

"Because I can't live without her," I stated softly, and I knew it didn't make sense to him. "Because they did for me what I'm about to do for you. I needed you to know that Bella wasn't your fault. I needed to give you something back after you pulled me up off the floor when I was dying inside. Charlie, I need to give you back what we both lost."

As I walked to the back door of the house, I called Bella softly, knowing she could hear me. I opened it to see my beautiful girl standing there nervously. Her eyes locked with mine and then peeked around me to see Charlie.

"He's okay," I told her softly. "Seeing you will be the only thing that makes it better."

She nodded and stepped into the house. To look at her, she looked the same as he'd once known her. She was wearing jeans and a sweater, her hair up in a long ponytail. She still shifted nervously on her feet and nibbled on her bottom lip. But closer inspection showed her immortality, and Charlie saw all of that. Golden eyes. Firm, lithe muscles. An eerie stillness that screamed predator… All of that registered to him, but his heart only saw his little girl.

I saw a lifetime of memories through his mind as he wrapped his head around the fact that his daughter was standing in front of him again. Part of him wanted to go to her, to wrap her up in his arms, and the other part of him simply wanted to run.

"Dad, I'm sorry." Bella's voice was tentative, but her apology was what snapped him out of his daze.

He didn't want her apology.

He stepped closer to her, and my Bella couldn't stop herself. She stepped into him. It was then that the tears finally welled up in Charlie. I could smell the salt, I could hear his heart just about pound out of his chest, and he met my gaze as I shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans.

It took a heartbeat or two before Charlie caught up. His arms tentatively wrapped around Bella, but the tears truly fell when his pressed his nose into the top of her head. She was real, she was alive, but she was different. However, Charlie didn't give a damn about _different_.

I couldn't hear Bella, but I didn't need to; she was holding on to her dad with her arms wrapped all the way around him. Charlie's mind ran the gamut of questions – how, where, when, why.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Bella whispered, her voice filled with emotion and grief, yet there was happiness and relief, as well.

"Stop," he chided gently, pulling at her shoulders and frowning at the feel of hard flesh and unmoving muscles. "Let me see you. Let me _really_ look at you, Isabella."

Hearing her full name got her attention, and she pulled back from his embrace, gazing up at him worriedly. Charlie took her face in his shaky hands, tears still cascading down his cheeks, because the one thing that Bella had lost were the eyes that matched his own. Gone were the deep brown. A pang of sadness briefly rose to the surface over the loss of the one thing he'd always seen of himself in her.

"Tell me what happened, baby girl," he demanded, his voice cracking a bit. He gestured around him. "I know what they've told me. I want to hear _you_ tell it."

Bella nodded, stepping away from him and pointing to his chair. "Dad, please sit. I'll tell you everything."

Everyone had been standing, including Esme, who'd followed Bella inside but stopped by the door and whose appearance didn't seem to shock Charlie, but we all started to sit back down. Bella sat next to me on the sofa closest to her father.

All of us, every man in the room, gave Bella the silent respect she deserved, and Esme squeezed her shoulder as she walked by her to sit down on the other side of Carlisle. We let her tell her father exactly how she came to be immortal, how nothing he could've done would've stopped it, and how hard she fought to get back to me. She taught him the difference between red eyes and gold. She told him about James, Laurent, and Victoria. When she got to the part where she and I had reunited, she paused to get her emotions back together.

Too low for Charlie to hear, I repeated what she'd said to me in the car. "It's okay, sweetheart. Take your time," I whispered against her temple. "I'm okay. I'm right here."

Bella's eyes closed as she leaned into my kiss, and she nodded a little before going on. "Victoria started to stalk Edward," she said, looking at her father. "And so did I, I guess."

Carlisle chuckled, Jake outright laughed, and I couldn't stop the grin from crawling up my face.

"I couldn't 'live' without him, Dad. And that's… We're m—" she sputtered over the word _mated_. "We're meant to be together. Forever." She lifted her gaze to his. "I made them promise to help me protect him, and eventually he figured out the truth. But Victoria created an army and was set on revenge…" Bella trailed off, not really wanting to say the words at how badly I'd been injured.

"That was why I was staying with Carlisle and his family when you came looking for me," I continued for her. "They were protecting me from Victoria, and I was really sick. There was a strain of flu at the hospital and I'd caught it. But Victoria eventually led her army to their home, and I was injured. I might not have lived through the night.

"Once I was changed, we needed to move. I needed space and a chance to get control over my thirst and new senses. We've been in Alaska ever since," I concluded, listening to Charlie's thoughts as he sorted through everything he'd just learned.

He gazed around the room at all of us as he swallowed down more emotions than he knew what to do with – Jasper would've been out of control. He looked at the people he now knew had saved his little girl, who had protected her secret, and he finally nodded and stood up, starting to pace the living room.

"Let me get this straight… This James who attacked you, he's…" He trailed off but looked between Jake and Carlisle.

"He was immediately _removed_ , Charlie," Jake answered him with a sneer and a bit of pride.

"Good." Charlie huffed. "And Victoria… Her too?"

"Yes."

We all answered him on that one, and he nodded, silently happy that there were no more threats against the area or his family. He took another pacing step or two, and just when everyone was starting to push silent worried questions my way, he stopped and looked over at Bella. I had to smirk, because his train of thought was clear and precise.

"You'll live forever?" he asked Bella specifically.

"Yes, Dad."

"You too?" he asked me, and I nodded.

"And you'll never get sick or hurt?" he verified.

"No, Dad."

"And you're happy?" he asked us both.

"Yes," we answered, linking our fingers together.

He huffed an incredulous laugh. "Well, hell… That's all I've ever wanted for you kids," he muttered, essentially to himself, but rubbed his face and let out a deep sigh. He looked around the room. "So… What now?"

"We can't stay, Daddy," Bella said softly, grimacing a little. "No one can see me. Ever."

He nodded, taking his chair again. "What happens now? I mean…"

I could see what he was asking. To show him Bella and then take her away was cruel, but that wasn't why we'd come.

"Carlisle, Esme, and I will attend your wedding, and then all of us will be going back to Fairbanks. You're welcome to _come to us_ anytime, no matter where we are." I sat forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "Bella's existence _must_ stay a secret. She _must_ remain dead to everyone else outside this room, aside from La Push. I just… I couldn't… I needed you to know it wasn't your fault, Charlie. I was given a second chance, a beautiful gift, and I thought it only fair to share it."

Charlie nodded, but I could see his mind was so grateful he could barely speak.

"You can call me anytime you want, Dad. My number is still the same," Bella told him.

His gaze shot to her and then to me. His mind was instantly aware that at one time, there had been phone calls from Bella's phone. He immediately put it together that she'd been reaching out, that it hadn't been kids who'd found her phone.

I snorted. "Yes, she made me think I was crazy."

Bella grinned sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

Charlie rolled his eyes, looking just like Bella, but he realized I'd answered his mental question.

"Uh…yeah, sorry about that. When I woke up from my change…" I tapped my temple. "I can hear your mind. Everyone's mind, actually."

"Mine only when I want him to," Bella added with a mischievous smile my way, and I kissed the middle of her forehead.

"God, that must be so…"

"Loud. It's just loud, Charlie, and a little disturbing," I grumbled with a deep sigh, shaking my head and smiling at his soft laugh.

Jake sat forward. "Charlie, when I said you were under my protection, I meant it. There are rules that must be followed. These guys," he said, pointing to the four of us, "have to stay a secret to humans, and they have these creepy, ancient assholes to answer to. And my pack has to stay secret, as well. You'll be protected by me, my pack, should anything happen. In fact, my fiancée and your soon to be step-daughter is a member of my pack." He grinned. "So listen, _Dad_ , I'm really glad we got to tell you."

"I can't even wrap my head around it," Charlie replied softly, reaching for Bella's face, and she smiled at his warm touch. "I'd be pissed that you waited, but then I can't find a thing wrong with this moment, so…thank you." In his mind, that was mostly true. He was a bit pissed off, like I'd been, that he'd been lied to, but he knew he'd get over it.

Carlisle had let us lead the entire thing, and he smiled at Charlie. "The two of them needed time to adjust, to calm down from their newborn phase. I imagine we won't need Alaska much longer. Edward and Bella may make their own way eventually, but they are always welcome to come with us. When this whole thing happened, I vowed to Bella and then to Edward that we would help them for as long as they needed. If anyone carries the guilt of that night, it's me."

"And me," Jake piped up.

"Then I'm not sure who to thank," Charlie said in an emotionally thick voice. "This is one helluva wedding present."

Bella grinned, going to hug him again. "Oh yeah, congratulations, Dad. And just when did you start dating again?"

Charlie sputtered, his face glowing red. "Never you mind, Isabella."

 **~o~EID~o~**

It felt strange being back in the same church that had held Bella's memorial service. I already felt uneasy being there with so many humans surrounding me, but the memories this room held were still raw and harsh. It didn't matter that my sweet Bella was within earshot of the service for her dad and Sue. She was beautiful and alive and mine, but for a moment, for what would now be considered a blink of an eye in the long life that stretched out before us, the memorial service held to commemorate Isabella Marie Masen would be the darkest day I'd ever seen.

It didn't help that some of her friends from Forks High School were attending the wedding; they'd been the same to help search for her, the same to send flowers, the same to build a strange roadside shrine, which was now weather-beaten and fading away at the spot where her tire had blown.

What was different this time around was that I could hear every damn thought. I'd been right to guess pity would be the top thought among them, but there were a few who shocked me. Or maybe they'd always thought these things, but like Bella had always accused me – I'd been oblivious. A girl named Lauren was more than willing to help me "get over" Bella. A girl named Jessica was daydreaming about me, which was disturbing. And the guy she was with – Mike – couldn't decide if he liked me or not. The nicest of Bella's old friends were Ben and Angela Chaney. Angela was the daughter of the minister who was marrying Sue and Charlie, and the sight of me made Angela sad, made her miss her once very good friend.

When the music started, I tried to block out everyone but Charlie. They'd opted for a simple ceremony, much like Bella and I had, and due to the drizzly weather, they held the reception in the social hall at the back of the church.

I tried to be social, friendly. I introduced most people to Carlisle and Esme. Some offered false sentiments about missing Bella, asking if I was holding up okay. Playing the young widower wasn't all that hard, since I stayed quiet and to myself most of the time.

It was Carlisle who noticed my discomfort first. "You okay?"

I shrugged a shoulder, snorting into a soft humorless laugh. "I think I was happier _not_ knowing what people really thought," I said so softly that only he heard me.

He grinned, nodding a little. "Ignorance, as they say, is bliss, Edward."

"You have _no idea_ ," I told him, shaking my head at his groaning laugh.

He switched to thoughts. _The theory or hypothesis concerning immortal talents is that you carry it over from your change, and the venom simply enhances it. Edward, you read people very well – even as a human. You always knew what your patients needed, and from what I can gather, you always knew what Bella and Charlie needed. There's a difference between being able to pick up on nonverbal cues and giving a damn about someone's opinion._

I laughed. "Maybe," I muttered, looking around the reception. "What about Bella?" I asked him, still maintaining a low tone.

"Shields are interesting," he replied. "What's even more interesting is that you two were perfect before, and now she's the respite for your mind now. You could stand in the middle of Grand Central Station at rush hour and, with her by your side, not hear a single thought other than your own…and hers. Not that you mind hers."

"I prefer it," I told him.

"Which is no surprise."

Nodding, I continued to people watch – and listen. Jake was with his pack as they laughed about his own upcoming wedding, which would be next year. Charlie and Sue smiled over at them, and then my father-in-law met my gaze across the room. Mentally, he thanked me for the best wedding present ever. He also thanked me for taking care of Bella. He'd always known we were happy. To see it, to know that we'd always be that damned happy, was all he could want for his little girl.

When Lauren spotted me from the table next to Charlie's, she got up to come talk to me. Her thoughts were not pure, nor were they sympathetic. In fact, they kind of pissed me off.

I sighed deeply, looking to Carlisle. "I'm going to get some air," I told him, lowering my tone for just him and Esme. "Bella and I will meet you back at the house."

Carefully keeping several tables between Lauren and me, I stepped to Charlie's table. He took my hand and shook it.

"Congratulations, Charlie…Sue," I said, smiling her way. I made her nervous, but she knew how much I meant to her new husband. She also knew what I'd given him, so she was working at letting an old prejudice fade away.

"We'll be in touch, kiddo. Promise," he said with a grin. His mind was looking forward to phone calls with Bella.

After giving Jake a one-armed hug, I left through the back door of the church, listening for minds. I could determine which ones were coming from the building behind me, including Lauren still coming my way, and which ones were in surrounding homes not paying attention at all. A quick right and a burst of speed put me into the woods and out of sight.

I found my wife sitting on a log just yards away from the church. She would've been able to hear most of the ceremony from this spot yet keep out of sight. Kneeling in front of her, I grinned when she peered around me with narrowed eyes and flared nostrils. Jealousy, which had always been unnecessary with Bella, made her stunning. As an immortal, it was ten times more potent.

"What's Lauren want?"

"She wants several things, none of which I'm willing to help her achieve," I answered carefully, cupping my Bella's face in order to bring her gaze back to me.

Bella growled low, glancing back toward the church. "You know, she could have an accident of her own… No one would miss her."

Chuckling low, I stood up and offered Bella my hand. "Let's go for a walk, sweetheart."

"Where are we going?"

"Anywhere," I told her, shrugging a shoulder. "I told Carlisle and Esme we'd meet them back at the house."

We took off at a run, sticking to the trees and making our way deeper into the woods. We came upon a clearing not far from the Cullen home. It was such a naturally round piece of land, filled with flowers that would soon be gone now that it was fall, and surrounded by trees like a fortress wall.

"Pretty," Bella breathed, standing in the middle and soaking it all in.

The sun broke through the clouds for a split second, causing her skin to glimmer all around her. I supposed mine was doing the same, but I wasn't looking at myself.

"Very," I agreed, and she giggled when she realized I was gazing at her like a damned lost puppy.

"Sit, Edward," she said, still laughing at me.

I sat down in the tall, soft grass, holding my arms out for her. She settled in on my lap, cupping my face and pressing kisses to my lips. Her shield opened up her mind to mine, and I smiled, answering all her questions as fast as she could think them; it was the same old rhythm we'd always had to our conversations, just… _different_.

"Yes, your father looks very happy. Yes, he said he'd be in touch. Yes, the wedding was pretty."

Bella grinned. "Was it difficult to be in the church?"

"Yes, but not for any other reason than that's where I thought I'd said good-bye to you last year." I kissed the wrinkle in the middle of her nose. "The rest was…inconsequential."

Her mind circled around seeing her dad a few days prior and the conversation in his living room. There was a statement made by Carlisle she was mulling over, and I nodded.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked her, and she nodded. "Okay, so he truly has offered to be there for us. He also knows you and I want to…make our own way, too. Is it possible to do both, sweetheart?"

"I don't know. I like having them to talk to when I don't know what I'm doing in this new…" She trailed off, gesturing to her body.

"Okay, but?"

"But…I don't think I could live with six people. Six _immortal_ people, Edward. Between Alice's, Jasper's, and your talents? I think we'd drive everyone crazy. Or they'd drive me crazy. I love them, and I'm grateful for them, but—"

I pressed my lips to hers to stop her needless worry. "You're right, Bella. It's nice to have their support," I whispered while continuing to brush kisses over her lips. "It's nice to have Carlisle's input on things. Even at the wedding, he helped explain some things. I just…" I sighed deeply, gazing out over her shoulder to the beautiful clearing we were in.

"What?" she asked.

Frowning a little, I met her eyes – eyes that were no longer dark brown but amber and warm and still so loving. I looked down between us, playing with her fingers, her wedding rings, and then brought her hand up to my lips.

"I never want to make a mistake, Bella," I started to explain, grimacing a little at the thought. "I just… I can't imagine how horrified I'd be if I slipped up and ended a life. I just can't fathom the guilt. And I never want that for you either, sweetheart." I shook my head. "Both of us work really well together, and we've come so far, but I'd be devastated if something happened. And I think the Cullens are spectacularly helpful in that area."

"Me, too."

"However, I…" I swallowed nervously, because this was emotional for me to say. "Bella, I want… I know how we both felt when we finally closed on the house in Seattle, how we were so excited for that next step for us. And we both feel cheated to leave it behind. I want to…rectify that _for you_. I still need to give you that. A house, a home. Something that's ours and ours alone. Does that make sense?"

"So, you want to pick up where we left off?"

"Yes," I said with a big grin, nodding vehemently. "Exactly."

Bella chuckled, placing her hands on either side of my face. "You want to go back to where the detour started?"

"Yeah, I do." I kissed her lips fully, losing myself just a little. But I pulled back, smiling when her forehead met mine. "I… My sweet Bella, I thought I lost you last year. I thought I'd live the rest of my life feeling empty. It was all I could do to function in life. But by some miracle, I got you back. And now, I get you forever. I'm perfectly fine with forever. I'm fairly certain one lifetime with you wouldn't have been enough anyway."

"Edward…"

"Wait, baby. I just… I've worked really hard to be grateful, to pay back or pay forward all the help I've received, for this beautiful miracle sitting on my lap right now. But I feel the need to focus on _us_ now. Bella, when I met you, all I wanted was to love you, spoil you, and make sure you were happy. That hasn't changed. I want to do it all over and over again with you."

Bella chuckled, her memories of our first date coming to mind when I said I wanted to do it again. "Huh. Me, too, Edward. What do we do about that?" she repeated what she'd said back then.

I kissed her because I couldn't stop myself. Pulling back, I looked at the beautiful girl who'd changed my life in more ways than I could count. I thought I'd lost her, but she was there – the same bright, amazing thing she'd always been. I realized at that moment that love never died; it simply changed into something different, better, _more_.

"We just…live, Bella. We live however we want. Forever."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… Everyone was rooting for Charlie** _ **so damn hard**_ **! LOL This wasn't the original plan, just FYI, but Edward fought me on Charlie, and we ended up here. Apparently, he knew better. ;)**

 **Technically, this could end right here, but I do have an epilogue coming. I'll save all my thanks for that, and I'll add all the extra songs to the playlist that went with this story.**

 **Bear with me on the posting of the final chapter. I haven't started it yet, but as soon as it's done, it'll go up. Until then, though… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	22. Epilogue - Halfway to Anywhere

**A/N… This is the end, my friends, for this particular journey. I'll let you get to it. Please see me at the bottom…**

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **Chapter 22 – Epilogue – Halfway to Anywhere**

 _We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the mornings light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where no one needs a reason_

 _Forget this life_

 _Come with me_

 _Don't look back you're safe now  
Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you_

" _Anywhere" by Evanescence_

 **EDWARD**

"Thanks for your help today, Dr. Masen," Dr. Whitewater called to me from across the parking lot.

"See you in a few weeks," I told her. I smiled, giving a wave her way before getting into my car.

Volunteering at the Crescent City Health Clinic was rewarding most days. Though, today I was ready to go home; I had plans. It was an hour drive from Crescent City, California, to Gold Beach, Oregon, but I only went a few times a month to help them out, and it was getting me acclimated to practicing medicine again. Colds, skin rashes, and the occasional broken arm at the family medicine clinic was easier than the intensity of a hospital ER or children's ward.

I pulled onto the 101 heading north toward home. _Home_. Alaska had been home until a little over a month ago. We'd stayed on the Denali property for almost two years after my change. There had been close calls with my diet, which was why we'd stayed longer than anticipated. A hiking couple had almost ruined me not long after Charlie's wedding. A scraped arm combined with adrenaline had pulled at me so hard during a hunt that it took Bella's shield, Emmett's strength, and Jasper's calming to get me to stop. Up until that point, I thought I'd been ready to handle a more populated area, but no.

My mind reading, while helpful and a curse all at once, was another thing I'd had to hone. It was still loud, still buzzing, but I'd learned to focus beyond the noise in my head. With Alice's help, I'd learned to filter most of it. She had decades of experience with her visions, and she showed me repeatedly when something was insignificant and when something was important. Errant thoughts concerning looks, attraction, and fantasies about the members of the Cullen family and my wife weren't important. Curiosity concerning age, actions, and whether or not we were something altogether different – _that_ was important. And Alice and I worked together flawlessly. We'd tested it in public more times than I could count. Family outings were the perfect excuse to try.

Honestly, I wasn't sure where I'd be without any of them. As much as I had been ready to find a life of my own with Bella, I was grateful for the Cullens and the Denalis, as well. All of them. Their patience was unlimited, it had seemed. Their experiences were learning tools. Every one of them offered up their memories and thoughts in order to teach me.

The vampire mind was fascinating. Multitasking was an understatement when it came to how much I could absorb, process, and retain now versus my human mind. Memory was a complete recall of anything read or witnessed. Carlisle told me several times that when I was ready to get back to practicing medicine, that memory would be my biggest ally. And he was right. He was also the reason I'd decided to slowly push my limits with the clinic.

But _no one_ was as big of a cheerleader as my Bella.

Just the thought of her brought a smile to my face as I drew closer to home. She was all things good about this new life. No struggle or setback or worry lasted long while she was with me. The short yet dark time when I thought she was gone was almost a blurry memory. The loss of her had wrecked me, but what I'd gotten in return was infinitely better. It was more, it was intense, and it was forever.

When I first met her in college, we were so very good together. And the words "made for each other" were used all the time. Now, it seemed to mean more because they were so very true. She was my safe haven from minds, bloodlust, and overwhelming sensations that this new life could throw my way. And I was hers.

Carlisle had once described mating to me as a connection, a port in the storm. He'd said we'd need each other when this life became too much or not enough or disturbing. He'd said that we'd need our connection in which to anchor ourselves. He was right. Despite the Cullens helpfulness, it would always be her.

The setting sun dropped low on the Pacific Ocean as I pulled into our driveway. I smiled at the house we'd only been in since we'd left Alaska. It was ours, and ours alone. Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens were barely even three miles away in a bigger, more expensive home. We'd all voted on Gold Beach for several reasons – there were an average of a hundred and sixty rainy days a year, it was off the beaten path, and we were right next to Rogue River-Siskuyou National Park. The area was perfect, and for Bella and me, we weren't too far for Charlie to visit.

I pulled into the garage, smiling at how much we loved this new house. I'd thought my Bella loved the one we'd bought in Seattle, but this one was all about her. I'd finally put the Seattle house on the market, and it sold quickly. We'd bought this one almost immediately. And we'd keep this one, even when we'd have to move on from the area. It would be there for decades to come. This one would be ours until it fell to the ground.

"Bella?" I called, dropping my keys onto the kitchen counter. I inhaled deeply, listened intently, but the only noises I heard were the ticking of the clock, the hum of the refrigerator, and the crashing waves of the ocean hitting the beach right outside our backdoor. "Steve?" I chuckled, shaking my head at the silence that I received in return.

Walking through this house was completely different than the one in Seattle. Here, Bella could put her touch in every room. This house allowed her to do what we'd never been able to do in Seattle – settle in. And Bella's love and touch and creativity was everywhere. Curtains, vases, framed photographs and artwork – it all looked so much better than when I'd tried to unpack through loss and grief. This place, these small things were the way it should've been. And we'd had so much fun and silly arguments doing it together. We'd painted and decorated and unpacked _together_ , and we'd barely come up for air or hunting for a solid week. Not even the Cullens disturbed that, because they'd known that we had been looking forward to it so much, we'd barely shut up about it. This was the _one thing_ , the first thing I wanted to give back to Bella, and it wasn't something I was taking lightly.

The music room was set up very much the same as the Seattle house, with my piano the focal point and Bella's books filling the wall full of shelves. Our bedroom upstairs overlooked the back of the house and the beach. The kitchen was rarely used now, the living room was comfortable, and there was a spare room for Charlie and Sue whenever they decided to visit. The whole house was open, airy, with honey-colored wood and stone and plenty of natural light.

As beautiful and comfortable as our house was, it was still empty. But I knew where to find them.

I stepped out the back door into the chilly December air, gazing over the yard toward the beach. The scent of them was strong and recent, so I followed it. Their trail led down the steps and through the grass, spilling out onto the sand where their footprints started. The beach was a deep orange now, even though the day had been cloudy, and strange, dark shadows cast across the sand from the large rocks on the shore. The scent of salty water and impending rain met my nose, along with the scent of Steve.

I found him on his side, his eyes wide as he watched small birds run to and from the waves crashing to shore. The very tip of his long orange tail swished back and forth, but he made no move to give chase; he was just relaxing.

"Hey, Steve," I called him, smiling when he hummed excitedly and ran to me, tail high and eyes bright. Kneeling down, I scooped him up, chuckling when he repeatedly rubbed his face on mine. "Missed you, too, buddy."

The scent I needed most met my nose, and I set Steve down onto the sand. He kept pace with me as I navigated the rocks. I found her leaning against a tall boulder, the sunset making her a silhouette. To look at her hurt. She was so beautiful, so very still, and if I didn't know her so well, I'd say sad. But she wasn't sad. Hell, Bella was rarely sad. She was simply lost in thought, and I didn't need her shield lifted for me to know what she was thinking.

"Happy anniversary, sweetheart," I called softly, walking to her. The resulting smile was what I honestly lived to see.

"You're early," she said, almost chastising, but she was in my arms before I could blink. "I thought you'd be another hour."

"Nope. Not tonight."

She grinned, cupping my face in her hands as I lifted her off the rocky ground. "Happy anniversary to you too."

"So…dinner and a movie? Hotel room?" I asked teasingly, because those were the things we'd done on our first anniversary.

Bella's giggle was adorable. "Um, Netflix and chill?"

"If that's what you want," I said through a laugh. "I'm fresh out of lunatic, red-headed nomads to fight."

Bella's head fell back with her laugh at my mentioning of our second anniversary, which had resulted in my change.

"There's always hunting…" I whispered against the sweet-smelling skin of her throat, but I trailed off as she shook her head. Last year we'd gone hunting in Alaska for our third anniversary.

Bella's legs were securely wrapped around my waist, her fingers slipping through my hair languidly as she gazed at me lovingly.

"Does it make me completely boring if I just want to hole ourselves up in the house and ignore the world?" she asked me, dropping kisses to my forehead, nose, and finally lips.

"No, ma'am."

"Good, because I think that sounds kinda perfect."

"Me, too."

I turned to carry her back to the house, both of us calling for Steve, who was sitting on a rock with his tail wrapped all the way around his feet. He'd gone back to watching the birds at the water, as if he couldn't quite figure out why they kept running back and forth. However, he turned when we called him, leading the way back up the beach and through the backyard.

Once inside and upstairs in the bedroom, I set Bella down onto the bed, kissing her lips roughly. "Let me change clothes, and I'm all yours," I told her, and she smiled and nodded. I backed away, tugging my tie off and narrowing my eyes her way. "What are you thinking?" I asked, tilting my head a little as I kicked out of my shoes at the same time.

Her grin was adorable and a bit shy when she gazed down to the floor. "I, umm, I got a job today."

My mouth opened and shut, and I shrugged out of my button-down shirt, tossing it into the laundry basket, along with my undershirt. I walked back to the bed, sitting next to her.

"Spill, sweetheart," I said through a chuckle. "I didn't know you were looking. I thought…"

"I wasn't, Edward!" she countered, shaking her head. "It just sort of… _happened._ " She shrugged a shoulder, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I went with Esme today to register Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett for Gold Beach High School. I just was keeping her company. She and I were working on…you know, whatever part we've got to play, and well, while we were there, they needed a school librarian assistant."

Smiling, I pulled her in for a kiss. "Are you sure you're ready, my Bella?"

"Yeah, I think so. And it's only part-time. It's perfect for days you're at the clinic, and I'll be with the rest of them…sorta." She grinned at herself, but again, she shrugged as she blinked adorably up at me. "The story is a little awkward, but it works with the IDs that Jenks set up for me."

Wrinkling my nose, I nodded. Technically, Isabella Marie Swan Masen was dead on paper, so Bella had to have an identity. The Cullens' lawyer provided all of them with false papers with no questions asked. He was paid very well for it, and he was just shady enough to ignore the fact that his clients changed names on some sort of regular basis. Not to mention, they'd been coming to him for close to thirty years. Bella had argued for Swan, for Dwyer, for even Mason again but spelled differently, but she was told she needed to be completely separated from her old life. She resigned herself to Cullen when she was told in a few years she could change it again.

Therefore, Isabella Cullen was born… _on paper_. To me, she was still Mrs. Masen. To me, she was still my wife. She still wore the rings I gave her. She still called herself Dr. Masen's wife. She just had to carry another name in her wallet. It was one of the harder lessons we'd learned about this new life we were settling into, so it would take some getting used to.

Bella scooted closer, and I simply gave in to the need to hold her close, pulling her to my lap. She cupped my face.

"I know you hate it," she whispered, grimacing a little, "but it keeps me from having to hide away from the world. You know, Bella Cullen has this really handsome doctor boyfriend…"

Chuckling, I rolled my eyes, but I nodded, too. However, she kept going.

"You and I are older – _physically_ – than Carlisle and Esme. We can't pass for the high school kids that the rest can, so I'm Carlisle's cousin, you're my boyfriend, and we all moved here from Alaska. It's simple and weird, and we've got to play the part, Edward, because we have no choice, unless we run away from it all and live like hermits in the fucking woods."

I barked a laugh at her touch of temper, but I kissed her. "I know, I know! I just… I worked really hard to make you a Masen."

Bella giggled, kissing me roughly. "It wasn't that hard, baby. I said yes before you could finish the damn question."

"True," I whispered, tilting my head a little. "That was a good day." My voice was wistful and silly.

"Yeah, it was."

"Does all this mean I can ask you again?"

Bella laughed. "If that's what you want," she said, repeating what I'd said to her on the beach. "I'm kind of a sure thing, so no need to be all nervous next time. Okay?"

Chuckling, I nodded a kissed her lips. "I was so very nervous."

"I know. I wasn't sure what the hell was wrong with you that day."

Grinning, I groaned a little. "Oh, Bella… You were too pretty, and it didn't matter that we were already living together. I just… I wanted you to know I wanted it all with you, before my residency took over my entire life. You were it for me the second you said, 'I'll see you 'round,' in the library."

"Me, too."

God, I lived for these conversations, this rhythm we'd had since the beginning. They were comforting, no matter the subject. I'm certain every decision or problem we'd ever had we'd solved just like we were now.

I was slowly losing myself with her on my lap. Trailing the back of my fingers along her cheek, I asked, "So when do you start?"

"When school is back in session. January."

"Is your doctor boyfriend allowed to visit?"

Bella giggled. "Yeah, definitely."

"Well, then… Congratulations, sweetheart." I brushed kisses across her lips – top, bottom, middle – ghosting more along her cheek to her ear. "So, it seems we have more to celebrate than our wedding anniversary."

Bella looked shy yet proud at the same time, and her mind finally opened to me for the first time since I'd been home. She was nervous about getting back out in the world, because she didn't want to mess up. She was happy we were finding some sort of normal with our new lives. However, above _all of that_ , her love for me, her sweet, unconditional adoration was overriding every other thought in her mind.

She showed me what she'd been thinking when I'd found her on the beach. It had been us. All our history, our love, our heartbreak, and our reunion she'd been reliving out there as the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. Fate wasn't something she'd given much thought to, but whatever it was that gave us each other – not once, but two times – felt damn close to it.

Cupping her face, I kissed her softly. "Tunnel vision, sweetheart," I teased in a whisper.

A soft smile curled the corners of her lips briefly, but she nodded. "Yeah, right now, I definitely have tunnel vision."

The next thing her mind told me was that she wanted me. And I gave in completely. Slipping my fingers beneath her shirt, I gently lifted it off over her head. Jeans were next, and soon, I was guiding her to the middle of our bed. Her hands ghosted down my back and around to my belt, but I shifted away from her, because I was still in my black dress pants.

"Hold that thought, baby," I whispered against her collarbone as I worked my way down her body. "I want to savor you, worship every inch of you."

There were things that never changed, despite our new immortality. The way Bella said my name, the way her legs opened for me, the distinct flavor of her – all that was the same. However, the intensity of her orgasm was ten times more. The strength in which she held me to her or flipped me over and straddled me would've been disarming if I wasn't used to it by now – and loved it so damn much. It made me harder for her as I grinned up at her pinning me to our bed.

Dragging my tongue along my bottom lip, I couldn't help but tease her. "You act like I'm trying to get away, Bella."

Her wicked chuckle pushed out against the skin of my stomach, and golden eyes locked on to my own as she swirled her tongue around my navel. My belt was undone, and my pants and underwear were removed swiftly. Her mouth and tongue and hands did things to my cock that had my eyes rolling back into my head, but I started to shake, trying to stave off coming.

"No, no… Bella… Baby, wait," I begged her, pulling her up to my face. "Not that way. I…"

There was never going to be anything better than the feeling of becoming one with her, with my wife, with my _mate_. And as soon as I was completely inside her, everything else became insignificant.

 **~o~EID~o~**

Pulling into the parking lot of Gold Beach High, I glanced around. Classes were almost over, and some of the students were already making their way to their cars. I spotted Rosalie's BMW on the side row, and I pulled in next to it. Normally, Bella's Volvo would be next to it, but I had driven her in that morning.

It was the last day before Spring Break. Bella had been at the school for a little over two months. She loved it. She'd been nervous at first, which was understandable, what with all the humans surrounding her day in and day out. However, her shield kept it all at bay. It also helped that she only worked a couple of days a week.

Honestly, I wasn't sure how any of them did it. Taking the same public school classes, taking the same tests, listening to the same whispers of teenage kids – it would drive me mad. And I would've heard all the thoughts of students and teachers on top of it all. I wasn't sure I'd survive it, and it had nothing to do with the scent of blood and the pounding heartbeats I was walking through now as I passed by full classrooms. I'd visited the school a handful of times since they'd all started here, and the ridiculous crushes, the lewd thoughts, and the jealousy that was aimed our way was taxing on my mind. The hospital where Carlisle worked wasn't even as harsh as this environment.

I counted myself lucky that I appeared too old to pull off the average student. I'd hated high school the first time around; I couldn't imagine repeating it over and over. It would've been like purgatory – some sort of penitence for sins committed. No thank you.

Making my way through the halls, I stepped into the library. The check-out desk was vacant, and there were a few students at tables here and there. Most minds were ready for the week off. I kept my face passive when thoughts turned to me, who I was to "Miss Cullen," and just what the hell was in the water of Alaska in order for all of us to look as "hot" as we did. The latter made me want to roll my eyes. A small, snarky side of me wanted to tell them it wasn't water we drank.

My mouth twitched a little when I heard Alice's amused mind from the back of the library. _Do that, and we'll have to start all over someplace else._

I stepped around the last row of bookshelves, smiling at the scene in front of me. Bella was leaning on her book cart, which was almost empty, while Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice spoke softly.

This was our new normal, it seemed. Bella and I may have lost our mortality, our grip on our old lives, but we'd gained a new family. They had been together for decades, with deep relationships, but they'd welcomed us into their fold with open arms. When I'd first met them all, I couldn't fathom so many different personalities getting along, but we all did. They were a support system that I wouldn't trade for anything. Bella and I loved our privacy, our own space, but they helped us with this new life.

"Ah, there he is!" Jasper whispered with a grin.

"What's up, Doc?" Emmett asked, kicking back in his chair until the legs gave an eerie creak.

"Hey, baby." Bella walked to me, kissing my lips softly. "You'll have to hang out just a little bit before I can leave."

"Sure, sweetheart."

She kissed me again, shattering the heart of a poor boy at the closest bookshelf. He thought she was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. When my gaze shot to his, he looked back at the books on the shelf in front of him. That was a new part of me I couldn't stop. It was something I'd discussed with Carlisle repeatedly, because I was confident in my relationship, my mate, but he'd said that my talent combined with mating would probably always be a burden. It was a bit instinctual to mark my territory, to claim what was mine, or to make the other back down. He explained that as time wore on, I'd learn to ignore it, but the need to eradicate the mere idea of someone wanting Bella would always be there. He'd explained that he felt the same way, along with Jasper and Emmett. It just… _was_.

Jasper chuckled as Bella went back to shelving books before the last bell. "Poor kid. You scared the shit out of him." He laughed a little harder when I shrugged a shoulder and took a seat next to Rose and across from Alice. "He's pushing out some jealousy, fear, and extreme disappointment."

"Oh, well," I countered with a sigh, smirking at Rose's chuckle and nodding at her mental question. "Yeah, we're going. I think Carlisle wants to get away and see how we're all doing since the move," I explained to her, and she smiled, giving me a quick glance up from her magazine.

Rose was the one relationship that hadn't come easy. We'd butted heads when I was human, because I posed a danger knowing what they were. She'd also underestimated Bella's and my relationship. It had taken until the run-in with the Volturi for us to find a common ground.

Alice nodded. "Should be fun. It usually is when we go on a big hunt."

"Definitely," Emmett agreed with a nod. "And it's Northern California _and_ spring, so there's bears, maybe some panthers, and a whole mess of deer."

I nodded, looking forward to the whole thing. We tamped down what we were most of the time, but during a hunt, we could let go for a short time. There were precautions, of course. There was the human element without a doubt. We also had to be careful not to take an animal with offspring, not to deplete an entire species, and we had to keep in mind what animals were struggling or on the endangered lists. There had been a boom of mountain lions in California, so we were clear to hunt those. Carlisle had considered hunting in the jungles of Brazil, but the jaguar was low in numbers this year.

Brazil had been intriguing, but I was glad we were staying in the States. Bella had been worried about leaving Steve behind, and it didn't matter that we'd found the best, most expensive boarder. California meant he could come with us and stay in the cabin when we were out hunting. I was fairly certain there wasn't a cat on the planet that traveled and explored as much as Steve. It was a given that he was coming with us. The Cullens didn't even question it.

My eyes drifted across the library to watch Bella do her job. Seeing her back doing what she loved, what she was good at, was amazing to see. She was comfortable in the library surrounded by words and stories and pages. She was in dress pants and a sweater, her hair cascading down her back in soft, dark waves. Her smile with the kids was genuine and easy. They liked her, though their self-preservation made them feel she was unapproachable.

I could hear every mind inside the library but hers, which made sense. She tended to keep that shield up her entire day. Jasper and Emmett were making plans for the drive down to Six Rivers National Forest. Alice and Rose were discussing the magazine article Alice was flipping through, and there were several students practically clock-watching until they could run from the school. It all made me smile.

When the bell rang, the noise both mental and physical was loud, making me flinch a little. A mass exit of loud kids just outside the building we were in was almost comical. Most of the students in the library packed up and left, though a couple were in line to check out a book or two.

Our table stood, shouldering bags or tucking books under their arms.

"We'll see you at the house, right?" Jasper verified. "Carlisle wants to leave as soon as possible."

"Yeah, we'll be there," I replied with a nod, gesturing to Bella behind the counter. "Once she's done, we'll grab Steve and lock up our house."

"See you there," Rosalie said, waving over her shoulder.

I followed them to the front, waiting patiently for Bella to finish with the last student. Seeing her behind that desk brought back strong, beautiful memories of seeing her for the first time at UW. She'd made me speechless with how pretty she was. She'd been friendly and a bit flirty, but only with me. I'd never felt anything like it. Up until that point, I'd been shy, withdrawn, and nervous being so far from home, but Bella made all that go away with a simple smile and introduction. She was my first friend at UW, my first and last real true love, and my partner for the rest of my days.

When the student waved her way and left the library, Bella leaned on the counter on her elbows. "This seems familiar," she teased with a happy smile.

Grinning, I shoved my hands into the front pocket of my jeans and briefly glanced to the floor. "I was thinking that same thing, my Bella."

"So, Edward Masen, no books to check out?" she continued to tease.

"Mmm, no. But I'm _definitely_ checking out the librarian."

Her laugh was beautiful and contagious. "Had you said that back then…" She tsked, shaking her head at me. "I already thought you were too handsome for your own good, baby."

"And I thought you had every man on campus crushing on you."

She shook her head. "I didn't care."

"I thought I didn't stand a chance."

She sighed, smirking at me. "And yet…here we are."

"Here we are." I walked to her, cupping her face in my hands and kissing her forehead. "I think we're better than ever," I whispered, pulling back to look her in the eye.

"Me, too."

"I think this forever thing isn't such a bad idea."

Bella grinned. "Me, too."

"And I think…I want to kiss you."

"Huh, Edward. Me, too, so what do we do about that?"

My lips met hers, giving into it for just a moment, even though the counter was between us. I pulled back just to see her beautiful honey eyes swirl into blackness briefly. Smiling, I stepped away from the counter so she could close everything down and meet me on the other side.

"There's no 'see you 'round,' this time," she noted almost to herself, but I smiled down at her as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You know, I said that back then because I really wanted to see you."

"Good thing, too. I would've followed you anywhere. Just like now." I nodded like a child when she giggled.

"Let's go, Edward. I'm ready."

Pressing a kiss to her lips, I nodded when I heard more than leaving work or even leaving for this trip Carlisle had planned. I heard the big picture, the lifetimes ahead, and I was more than ready. We were different than the two shy humans who'd met in a college library, but we were better, stronger, and I couldn't wait to see it all with her.

"Me, too, sweetheart. Me, too."

 **~o~EID~o~**

 **A/N… That's the end, guys. I want to thank you all for coming with me on this one. This bent my usual rules a little, but your faith was amazing. For those that waited until it was complete, I get it. ;)**

 **I had posed the question to my pre-readers about hearing from Bella one more time, but this ended up being Edward's story, and I liked it that way. There may be an outtake/future-take for her specifically, but I can't promise that.**

 **I need to thank Suebee, maplestyle, inkedupmom, Driving Edward, smusic, Bethany Tullos for pre-reading, for your help, for finding those weird things I tend to leave in. Huge love to JenRar for her red pen and putting up with my commas. And thank you all for reading.**

 **Another thank you for the readers waiting** _ **so damn patiently**_ **for the end of** _ **Six**_ **. This is all on me. EID Edward was much louder and more insistent than Sixward, so I stuck with it until the end. I will be sitting down to work on** _ **Six**_ **this coming week. I apologize again for the hiatus that it's been on, but between Jenny and me, muses weren't there, time was limited, and real life simply wrecked us. But I will be writing that next week.**

 **For those that like the playlists, I'll be adding the title song above, along with all the other influential music to the YouTube playlist.**

 **Lastly…the future… Aside from** _ **Six**_ **, I do have something new coming – that is if I can make it work. You'll know soon. Promise.**

 **Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


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